Complied by Gina Valley
I love to share giggles.
Here’s some of the tweets that made me laugh in the last week.
Great tweets from great tweeps:
My 2 year old sprawled her Grover doll on the driveway and drew a chalk outline around it so no more CSI on the TV.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) May 30, 2013
“I need you both to stick broken glass in your eyes while juggling a bees nest” – What my kids heard”Take a shower please” – What I said
— jimmyettele (@jetts31) May 29, 2013
There should be an empty pill bottle in the stomachache medicine aisle that just says “STOP EATING CRAP” around it.
— Kelley (@KelleysBreakRm) May 30, 2013
Pretty sure a bat just crashed into my window screen. Not inspired to a life of fighting crime but may need a Xanax.
— BillCorbett (@BillCorbett) May 29, 2013
I say we waterboard this road crossing chicken and get the truth
— comedyfish (@comedyfish) December 9, 2012
Word locked up, so I turned off the computer. Kinda like when the kids clog the toilet and they shut the bathroom door.
— PeskyPippi (@PeskyPippi) May 29, 2013
I can’t decide whether I should exercise or remember that I could die tomorrow and eat everything in sight
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) May 29, 2013
The preschool perfect attendance award really just indicates which parents are the most desperate for silence. Of course my kid got it.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) May 30, 2013
This is my son, Jack Daniels Sportcenter Bobba Fett Harley Yankees-Suck Humungo-Shlong Smith. -If men were allowed to pick kid’s names.
— Aristotles (@AristotlesNZ) May 31, 2013
I listen to the first 30 seconds of a butt dial like I’m a CIA agent in a surveillance van.
— keenon (@Orielus) May 31, 2013
Lady sitting next to me say she has diarrhea. I must have one of those ”tell me if you have diarrhea” faces.
— JoeJoeKeys (@JoeJoeKeys) June 1, 2013
Have decided to copy the PTA and start spamming my kids with “opportunities to volunteer.”
— Kathy Cooperman (@Kathy_Cooperman) June 1, 2013
Just read the Wikipedia page for “My Little Pony” because I’m a man, it’s Saturday night and having daughters hasn’t changed me.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) June 2, 2013
I know I’m getting older because I used to hate going to bed; now I’ll take a nap at a red light.
— B. Wicked(@wickedcrickett) July 12, 2012
The greatest gift I could ever receive for Teacher Appreciation Week would be for all the 6th graders to wear deodorant for a week straight.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 9, 2012
At bedtime 11 yo says “I need my suit dry cleaned for tomorrow morn.”No problem, if by “dry cleaned” he means wiped with a Bounce.
— Gina Valley (@GinaValley) June 4, 2013
Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!
Laugh Loud Out!
What makes you smile? Where do you turn when you need a giggle? Do you have a favorite tweeter? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.
Don’t miss a giggle. Be sure to “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.