Complied by Gina Valley
I love to share laughs.
Here’s some giggle-makers that made me laugh in the last week.
Great tweets from great tweeps:
My 2 year old wanted to wear her underwear to bed but I didn't trust her sleeping without a diaper so we compromised & it's on her head.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) July 13, 2013
I've decided to change my daughters bed time to 4pm so now when she will actually get to bed by 8pm.
— James (@JamesHudyma) July 13, 2013
I'm more of a ''the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces'' person.
— JoeJoeKeys (@JoeJoeKeys) July 14, 2013
Me walking away from a loud automatic flush toilet and not flinching is my "cool guys don't look at explosions."
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) July 13, 2013
I fight childhood obesity by eating all the candy my kids have been saving.
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) July 13, 2013
Finally tried rollerblading to work this AM. In other news, spent the rest of the AM cleaning glass shards and curry out of my backpack
— Barmy Rootstock (@IbecameMyDad) July 11, 2013
With the right vest, valet sign, & location, you can pretty much test drive as many random cars as you like.
— Aristotles (@AristotlesNZ) July 11, 2013
Son: What does antiquated mean? Me: Look it up in the dictionary. Son: ??? Me: Google it. Son: Got it! Thanks dad.
— Boyd's Backyard (@TheBoydP) May 15, 2013
Sometimes I go vegan when I feel like honoring all living things and saving the earth and having Oreos for dinner
— Fred Zipfel (@Fredzipfel) July 9, 2013
Just started a new diet where I eat a milkshake for breakfast, a milkshake for lunch & a sensible dinner. Also, I eat my regular meals.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 10, 2013
Called DirecTV to get service back & one of the options was "press 5 if you have a 2y/o & are sorry you got rid of the ability to pause TV"
— Ashley (@ashleycrem) July 2, 2013
The microwave knocks out my wifi while it cooks a Hot Pocket as if it wants me to just sit and think about the decisions that led to this.
— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) July 3, 2013
Me to my Wife: No, I don't think I'm exaggerating by comparing my paper cut to childbirth. Have you seen the cut?
— jimmyettele (@jetts31) July 3, 2013
The first time I saw a tire swing I thought, "Those people really hate cars"
— Jeremy Arroyo (@Jerry414) June 29, 2013
The guy in front of me at the cafeteria just purchased 20 cans of Red Bull. I'm pretty sure he's trying to see sound.
— Jen Mitchell (@buriedwithkids) June 29, 2013
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
— tpr2 (@tpr2) June 27, 2013
OMG! Just discovered that I can make phone calls with my iPhone.
— TedInJest (@TedInJest) June 22, 2013
All the checkout lanes here are "15 items or less" except one, which requires you to walk across hot coals while bring sprayed with acid.
— Kelley (@KelleysBreakRm) June 18, 2013
Didn't put my contacts in or my glasses on today so cleaning the house took 1/2 the time.
— Wendy Liebman (@WendyLiebman) July 10, 2013
Mommy, we're making buttholes and feet. Summer enrichment is happening in my backyard. Right now.
— YKIHAYHT (@YKIHAYHT) July 15, 2013
Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!
(stuff I can hardly believe I said out loud to my pack this week):
Don’t lick your brother’s shorts!
Who dressed the vacuum?
Scissors don’t live in the refrigerator.
(stuff I can hardly believe one of my pack said to me this week):
Don’t come outside for a while, ok? And, do we have more glue?
Why do we have to clean? Who’s coming over?
I haven’t been able to find my toothbrush for 4 days.
Laugh Loud Out!
What makes you smile? Where do you turn when you need a giggle? Do you have a favorite tweeter? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.
Don’t miss a giggle. Be sure to “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.