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Top 10 Signs You’ve Had TOO MUCH Candy

Top 10 Signs You’ve Had TOO MUCH Candy

by Gina Valley

It’s the most candy-centric time of the year.

There’s candy everywhere you look.

People are talking about candy. People are buying candy. People are eating candy. People are dropping candy wrappers on the floor.

Or, maybe that’s just at my house.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’ve Had Too Much Candy HalloweenNot only is this the time of year when we tell our children it’s ok to take candy from strangers, but we actually dress them up like little crazy folks and send them out to beg for candy.

The hypnotic sweet scent of candy surrounds you the moment you step into any store, causing you to mindlessly grab and cling to bags of Kit Kats and mini Snickers, as though you’re lost at sea and they’re life vests.

Is this sugar tsunami threatening to drown you? Have you had too much candy? Is it time to set down the bag of Starbursts and to slowly back away before anyone else gets hurt?

How can you be sure?

If you (or your child or your spouse) meet any of the following qualifications, you (or he or she) have had too much candy:

Top 10 Signs You’ve Had Too Much Candy

#10.  Your commute to work took half its usual time & you didn’t even take your car.

#9.  You know what the fox said.

#8.  You can see sound.

#7.  You stirred your morning coffee with a Snickers bar & followed it with a Milky Way chaser.

#6.  You can recite The Song of Hiawatha 10 times in a row without taking a breath.

#5.  You swam ten laps at the gym & never got wet.

#4.  You sent your daughter’s hamster into a sugar coma just by breathing on it.

#3.  You didn’t pay attention to what was discussed at your morning staff meeting, because you were too busy picking M&M characters to match each person seated around the table.

#2.  You complained to the waiter at lunch that your salad had no colorful candy coating.

#1.  You did that Gangnam Style thing so fast that you set the carpet on fire.

If you still aren’t sure whether you (or your spouse or your child) have had too much candy, down one more Milk Dud, then see if the fluorescent lights in your office get brighter.

Laugh Out Loud!


How flows the candy tide at your house?  Are you chocolate or anti-chocolate? Do you monitor the candy intake or just hope it all disappears soon?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission
6 Responses
  • qwertygirl
    November 4, 2014

    Four kids means we have a TON of candy. Oh and it was raining on Halloween, so we had a reduced number of Trick or Treaters, so we have not only the kids’ haul but everything we didn’t give away. We are LOUSY with candy. I prefer chocolate myself–I think giving out Smarties and Tootsie Rolls is just asking to have your house egged. My kids hate any candy with nuts in it, so when they bring home 14,000 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, I just grind them into a paste and apply them to my thighs, since that’s where they’re going to end up if I eat them. I like beating them to the punch, you know? Ugh–Too. Much. Candy.

    • gina valley
      November 9, 2014

      We get so few trick or treaters these day that my kids all make requests about what we’re giving out, because they know most of it will be leftover and up for grabs.
      I am amazed at how much candy my kids come home with after just an hour of trick or treating! Somehow, it all disappears quickly! I hear the chocolate in their bags calling my name! I should probably go with your idea of just applying it directly to my rear!

  • Stevie Wilson
    November 4, 2014

    I busted out laughing on the first one!! to heck with everyone else, it’s all about your (or my) favorite candy. Now what do I do with all the leftovers (the ones I DO NOT eat)?
    #7 was sharp as a tack

    Great post!

    • gina valley
      November 9, 2014

      It’s always great to get to share a giggle with you, Stevie!
      We definitely all have our favorites, too, but somehow we never seem to have any extra candy in our house. ;o)
      I’m so glad you liked the post!

  • Noelle
    November 5, 2014


    • gina valley
      November 9, 2014

      I’m so glad you liked it, Noelle!