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The Screaming You Hear Is Me

The Screaming You Hear Is Me

by Gina Valley

Do you hear screaming?

I have a random number generator built into my computer.  When he put it in my IT guy asked if I knew what it was for.

“A random number generator? For filling out my taxes?” I guessed.

Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Passwords Change Scream Frustration IT Internet Technology Information Random Numbers WordsThat was apparently not funny.  Random number generators are not funny.  I know this because my IT guy gave me the “That’s not funny” stare of death.

He explained that the random number generator was to aid in my fight for cyber security.  I said that I think I have an ointment that treats that.  He gave me another stare of death.

Computer security is serious business.  I know this because he told me, “Computer security is serious business.” (I wonder if he ever reads this? If so, I’m so gonna get the stare of death again on Monday!).  He went on to explain that the random number generator would spit out random numbers which my computer would then use to decide what passwords should be and when to change them.

I suggested that it would be a good idea to change them at the end of every quarter.  I was wrong.  That is NOT a good idea.  I know this because my IT guy said, “That is not a good idea.” And then, looked very serious.

I, fool that I am asked why that is not a good idea.

My IT guy said, “You can’t change them at the end of any quarter. It’s too predictable to change them on days like that.  Hackers will know when the passwords they have don’t work anymore.”

Now, call me crazy, but won’t they pretty much be able to figure that out anyway no matter when I change the passwords? I’m no hacking expert, but won’t they know it doesn’t work when they try it and it doesn’t work?

So, as I understand it, my random number generator is constantly generating random numbers at random times.  When it generates a particular random number, or when it just happens to be an especially bad day for it for me, it resets all of my passwords to new random “words,” which are composed of a string of random letters, numbers, and symbols of random length.

It’s a technological miracle. It’s amazing. It’s awesome, if by awesome you mean Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Passwords Change Scream Frustration IT Internet Technology Information Random Numbers Words“makes you want to die because you have to relearn every password to even be able to pin that cool looking chocolate, chocolate cake onto your ‘If Calories Didn’t Matter ‘ Pinterest board” (BTW – I have the coolest chocolate, chocolate cake on my “If Calories Didn’t Matter” Pinterest board.  Now that I think about it, chocolate, chocolate cake sounds pretty good right now.  Hmmm).

Anyway – every time it resets all my passwords it makes me think I have suffered a case of instant dementia or amnesia or whatever it’s called when your brain instantly ceases up and refuses to process even one more thing.

And, I’m not allowed to write them down.  That would undermine the integrity of the whole process.  I know this because my IT guy told me, and continues to tell me every Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Passwords Change Scream Frustration IT Internet Technology Information Random Numbers Wordsblasted time he sees me with anything resembling a writing instrument in my hand, “You must not write them down! It undermines the integrity of the whole process if you write them down. And, no iPhone-ing it either!”

So, every so often, after a random amount of time has passed since the last time, you will hear me screaming because just as I finally got them all memorized and I am invariably working on a deadline, all of my passwords will change.  Randomly.

So I scream. Randomly.

I have to scream.  I can’t cry.  My IT guy said, “No liquids by the computer!”

At least this time my IT guy is screaming, too, because the computer randomly selected today to select new random passwords.  And, today is the last day of the quarter!

Laugh Out Loud!


Are you screaming, too?  How do you remember your passwords?  I look forward to hearing all about it! Shoot me a comment and share the scream!

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission
9 Responses
  • dadblunders
    September 9, 2012

    Passwords are great for that…screaming that is…off by one digit, one letter, one capital…always frustrating,,,,never write them down. I guess i could pick out the most common password in the English language. Any ideas what it is? I will tell you …..PASSWORD


    • gina valley
      September 9, 2012

      I don’t understand why there isn’t some “well, that’s close enough” function for passwords. I’m usually pretty close. Not like I’m logging into the NSA! -gina

  • Amberr Meadows
    September 10, 2012

    Oh those crazy hackers. Hate em!

    • gina valley
      July 5, 2013

      Ain’t that the truth!

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