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Shut The Front Door

Shut The Front Door!

Dear Family,

I know I ask a lot of each of you.

I want you to be as nice as possible to everyone around you.  I want you to do your best at school.  I want you to earn a bachelor’s degree (well, go ahead and finish pre-school and elementary school and junior high and high school before you worry about that, if you want to).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Shut the Front Door Exit Strategy Ice Hockey Ducks Blackhawks JetsAnd, of course, like any truly loving parent, I want you to be ice hockey fans (Ducks fans would be great, but I am willing to settle for Blackhawks fans or even Jets fans).

So, perhaps this request is too much.  Perhaps it will push you across the line from fun-loving kid to crazed obsessive progeny.

Perhaps.

But, I don’t think so.

I think each of you can handle it.  So, here goes:

Could we close the door?  Please?

Now, I don’t mean every door all the time.  I’m talking about the front door to our house. Granted, there are other doors I would appreciate having closed regularly.  Our backdoor, more commonly known as The Raccoon Gateway To Kitchen Trashing Heaven, springs to mind.  But, it’s really our front door that I’m asking you to focus on bringing closure to.

I was driving by our house this morning, and I noticed that our front door had been left open.  Again.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Shut the Front Door Exit Strategy Ice Hockey Ducks Blackhawks Jets

I had deposited each of you at one of 5 different educational centers on my way to a meeting.  As I often do, I chose a route that took me close to our house to get to my meeting.  And, as you know, when I am driving near our house, I always drive past it (and this is not a negative, pessimistic attitude rearing its ugly head, no matter what you say. It’s just good sense considering our track record) to make sure it isn’t on fire.

It wasn’t.  A watched house never burns.  Most of the time.

I was surprised to see that we were obviously home, though, as indicated by our wide-open front door.  But, it immediately occurred to me that we were not home.  You were all at school, and I were all at our van driving by.

Sigh.

Could we close the door?  I mean, I understand how sometimes people forget to lock the door.  But, how about if we all agree to at least close the door when we leave?

Couldn’t we at least do that?

I know it takes a lot of effort to stick that key in there and a lot of strength to turn it, but shutting the door, heck, that’s easy.

Yes, it’s hard to tell if the door is locked just by looking at it from the outside, but it is, at least in my experience, fairly simple to tell if it’s closed or not.  In fact, judging by my observations yet again today, you can even tell it’s open when you’re in your car driving by.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Shut the Front Door Exit Strategy Ice Hockey Ducks Blackhawks JetsPerhaps you don’t understand why it is so important that we pull together and pull the door shut when we’re leaving our house.  You see, we have absolutely nothing of value.  Nothing.

There is not a single item in our house worth stealing.  We have a pack.  We can’t have nice things.  Perhaps you have heard me mention that a time or two or million.

If we continue to leave the front door wide open, one of these days a thief is going to consider it an open invitation to come in to rob us.  And, that will be terrible, because he will end up suing us for false advertising after he realizes that he has just wasted his time.

We cannot afford to be sued by a disappointed thief.  Again.

So please, could we shut the front door?

Love,

mom

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What is the hiccup in your exit strategy?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

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5 Responses
  • We have the opposite problem at our house. We tend to lock ourselves “IN” the house if you can imagine. If Riley sees an unlocked door he will automatically lock it even if you just happened to sneak out to get the mail in your PJ’s. Sometimes we’ll forget someone’s home and set the alarm upon leaving. That’s always a fun way to wake up. ;P Funny as always Gina!

    • gina valley
      October 20, 2012

      The funny thing is that we do that, too, when we are home. Heaven help you if you sprint out to get the mail without your keys at our house! No one is going to hear you knocking over the din. I keep my cell phone with me at home just so I can get back in if I accidentally make the mistake of stepping outside for two seconds.
      Plus,sometimes locking each other out is one of my packs favorite games!
      I love the alarm thing. We haven’t done that! I’m tempted to “accidentally” do that to The Professor one day this week!

  • WowThatWasAwkward
    October 19, 2012

    Ha, this is awesome. As a single dad, I let the open toilet seat slide (when we don’t have company), I tolerate lights left on and I can handle closing kitchen cabinets after my kids. But they leave our front door open all the time. We don’t have a screen or security door either. Thieves are a concern I guess, but I’m tired of our house being shelter for every bug and spider in Colorado.

    • gina valley
      October 20, 2012

      That sounds so much like our house! I came home once and was greeted by, thanks to the open door, 5 dogs instead of just our 3. The funny thing was the 2 new dogs looked just like two of ours, so it took me minute to figure out why there seemed to be a much larger herd all of the sudden.
      I think the only way to get kids to consistently close the door is to insist they leave it open. Unfortunately, I’ve gotten pretty consistent closing with that. 🙂

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