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Oh Yay! A Hospital Stay!

Oh Yay! A Hospital Stay!

by Gina Valley

A friend of mine is sick this week.  He will likely be entering the hospital soon for treatment.  He’s not looking forward to that because he has a family to take care of, a blog to write, and – well duh – because it’s the hospital.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Hospital Wardrobe Sleeping Pill Tron Adjustable Bed Sleep Deprivation Germs Drugs Medicine Disneyland Emergency Room Urgent CareBut, I think his exhaustion and pain meds are keeping him from seeing the really cool stuff about a nice stint in the land of whited-sheeted beds.  Even a hospital has, after all, some cool stuff going for it.

I put together my Top 10 Cool Things About The Hospital to ease my friends mind.  If you or one of your loved ones is facing a stay at a medical megaplex soon, I hope it eases your mind, too.  Or, at least gives you a giggle.

Top Ten Cool Things About Being In The Hospital:

1. You don’t need to set an alarm clock because someone wakes you up every 15 minutes to ask if you need a sleeping pill.  Convenience on the quarter hour.

2. Awesome designer wardrobe provided at no extra cost. It’s breezy.  It’s light.  It manages to combine stiff, itchy fabric with revealing nudity, all completely without sexiness.  It’s a wardrobing miracle.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Hospital Wardrobe Sleeping Pill Tron Adjustable Bed Sleep Deprivation Germs Drugs Medicine Disneyland Emergency Room Urgent Care3. Constant, unending beeping makes you feel like you’re living in a video game.  You get a real-life Tron reality without having to wait in the long line for one of those fan experiences at ComicCon, and you don’t even have to leave your bed.

4. That foldy, bendy bed.   How fun is that thing?  50,000 different positions, every one of them uncomfortable, and a crinkly sound every time you turn over.

5. That row of weird equipment hooked to the wall above the head of the bed that even the nurses don’t know what to do with.  Ask a know-it-all health care provider what one of the pieces is for, and sit back and enjoy some made up medical mendacity.

6. You meet new people every 15 minutes … Oh wait – that’s the same nurse; you’re just sleep deprived.

7. Those funky containers the food comes in.  Don’tcha wish you had some of those at home?

8. Weird, stretchy, rubber coated socks instead of shoes.  Didn’t my mom say to always keep your shoes on in a hospital because of all the germs?  So, why don’t they let the patients, you know – the sick people – wear shoes?

9. Completely losing track of what day and time it is WITHOUT the aid of mind altering drugs.  It’s like your dreaming while you are awake.

10. Completely losing track of what day and time it is WITH the aid of mind altering drugs.  And, it’s all legal.  Pretty much.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Hospital Wardrobe Sleeping Pill Tron Adjustable Bed Sleep Deprivation Germs Drugs Medicine Disneyland Emergency Room Urgent CareFor more of my helpful medical advice or fun travel and vacation planning please visit my The Emergency Room – Like Disneyland, But Cheaper and Fun Times At The ‘Ole Urgent Care Center posts.  As always the clicks to get there count as cardio.

And, relax.  Remember, your medical team is going to do everything they can to ensure you live a long, healthy life.

After all, they want you around to make the payments on your bill.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Has your extended warranty run out?  Any new creaks or squeaks showing up?  Any fun medical times in your family?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

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9 Responses
  • Cari Wegner (@bubblegumcari)
    November 7, 2012

    Well that is a good list….also all the tv you want and no, “mom, mom, mommy, mama, mom”…I will fake an injury for that;)

    • gina valley
      November 8, 2012

      Thanks, Cari!
      I will have to add your two suggestions to the next list. Both are great reasons to hide in the hospital!

  • dadblunders
    November 8, 2012

    Gina,

    Bless your soul! I know the intent of this post was for me and I do appreciate it. I still would prefer a cowboy hat and some boots with a nice button shirt over the plain breezy wardrobe! They got me to wear some of that yesterday for some tests but they were nice enough to let me keep my boots on….she even offered me to keep my hat on (she was a real nurse…she knew were my priorities lie) The doctor told me he wouldn’t let me do that next week during the procedure though….lol

    Aaron

    • Gina Valley (@GinaValley)
      November 8, 2012

      Yes, Aaron, it absolutely was for you. I’m sorry you are going through so much pain and am praying a speedy recovery for you.
      I think you need to post a pic with your hospital gown, hat, and boots ensemble. Sounds awesome!
      You never know -the doc might change his mind.
      Feel better, my friend!

  • Susan
    November 13, 2012

    THIS is brilliant! I actually enjoyed staying in the hospital after having babies (note: a GOOD reason to be there) because I had someone bathing them, helping me to the toilet and bringing me unending supplies of those amazing ice chips of their’s!

    • gina valley
      November 13, 2012

      Thank you, Susan. I love to share a laugh!
      It is nice to have the extra help while at the hospital. There is always so much responsibility and work waiting at home!

  • amommynousblog
    November 13, 2012

    I love this post! Brings back memories of my emergency c-section last year. Pretty sure they gave me too much oxycodone. But it sure felt nice while it lasted! Sending good thoughts to your friend. Also, I loved this line: “someone wakes you up every 15 minutes to ask if you need a sleeping pill.” It’s so true! No thanks, I was already sleeping hehe. Great post.

  • Pamela
    November 13, 2012

    Love this list! Very useful! Thanks for sharing!

  • […] Fun stuff about being in the hospital, television commercials, parent-teacher conferences, that we seem to need something to argue about all the time, and how sometimes even the best of us is selfish and needs to be taken down a notch all gave me laugh material this week.  I hope they gave you some giggles, too. […]