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Mysteries of the Kid-iverse

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I’ve successfully completed courses in advanced physics and graduate level applied mathematics, but I’m still stymied by the mysteries of the Kid-iverse.

Why can every child on the planet work the most complicated video game controller with ease, but can’t work the flushing mechanism on the toilet afterHumor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Mysteries Mystery Kidiverse Universe Xbox Game Controller Laundry Cell Phone CD Sleep Vomit Lego Hug Twix Snickers PTA he’s done offloading?

Why must a child be dragged out of bed at 7:30AM to get ready for school, but will fly out unaided at 4:30AM on weekends and holidays when you could have slept in?

Why will a child interrupt your video conference call to tell you the dog may have eaten a fly, but will wait until after she finishes watching Sponge Bob to mention to you the toilet is overflowing and water-falling down the stairs?

Why is it that the more guests you have the higher the probability is your toddler will assume pants and undies are optional at dinner?

Why will kids sit on the floor and complain for two hours rather than completing a simple 5 minute chore?

Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Mysteries Mystery Kidiverse Universe Xbox Game Controller Laundry Cell Phone CD Sleep Vomit Lego Hug Twix Snickers PTAWhy will kids walk past their bureau and their closet with their clean, freshly hung and folded laundry and shove it into their toy bin or bookshelf?

Why do kids refuse to eat a French fry that has even touched their macaroni and cheese, but will instantly pop into their mouth what we are hoping was a Twix bar they found on the ground covered with grass and dirt at the park?

How do children vomit more than half of their body weight, then immediately want something to eat?

Why do kids become best friends with any kid at the park but refuse to even say “hello” to their cousin when he comes to stay for a week?

Why does every kid remember to shut off their video game so the screen won’t get ruined, but can’t remember to turn off the lights in their room?

Why do kids know the exact square centimeter in the lawn in the backyard that they buried their Lego guy in, but can’t remember which toilet they flushed your keys down?

Why will kids let the dog lick inside their mouth but refuse to let their Aunt Willimina hug them hello?

Why can’t a child hear you ask him to take out the trash when he’s in the same room as you, but can hear you open a Snicker bar in your kitchen while he’s playing video games at the neighbor kid’s house 4 doors up the street?Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Mysteries Mystery Kidiverse Universe Xbox Game Controller Laundry Cell Phone CD Sleep Vomit Lego Hug Twix Snickers PTA

Why can any child explain every mysterious feature of your new cell phone to you, but needs a seminar to know how to shut the refrigerator door?

How come a child never mentions that your pants are unzipped and your shirt’s on backwards until after you have given your speech to the PTA?

How come a kid will always notice you forgot to bring his World’s Most Annoying Sounds Masquerading As Music CD for your cross-country family road trip before you’ve even buckled your seat belt, but doesn’t notice he forgot to bring shoes until you pull into grandma’s driveway, 657 miles later?

I guess there’s some things we’re not meant to understand.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What mysteries have your brain spinning? Shoot me a comment and tell me all about it!

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10 Responses
  • Susan Cooper/findingourwaynow.com
    July 24, 2012

    I am an ex teacher and could so relate to your “why list”. I think kids are amazing. After all we were one once. Figuring out their universe is futile but it is so much fun watching them live in it. :))) your Triberr buddy, Susan Cooper

    • gina
      July 24, 2012

      Kids are definitely the vastest, deepest mystery of the universe! And, you are so right that it is great fun to watch them explore it, confusing though they may be. Thanks for stopping by!

  • LookingfortheSweetSpot
    July 24, 2012

    Completely hysterical and completely true!!! I notice that many of your quandaries involve the toilet…? just food for thought -lol

    • gina
      July 25, 2012

      I’m so glad you got some giggles from it!
      It’s timely that you mention the multiple toilet issues of late, as I’m working on a post about how frequently my posts have dealt with that high brow topic lately. It should make its appearance here soon!

  • This is awesome! Thanks for sharing.

    • gina
      July 25, 2012

      Thank you! I’m so glad you liked it!

  • Kim
    July 24, 2012

    Very cool!

    • gina
      July 25, 2012

      Thank you so much!

  • peskypippi
    July 25, 2012

    This post is so freaking hilarious. I love, love, love it. A lot of references to toilets overflowing. Fun! 🙂

    • gina
      July 25, 2012

      Thank you! I’m so glad you liked it. I love to pass out laughs! I think toilets overflowing is fairly universal scourge and giggle-maker!