I’m A Horrible Person
by Gina Valley
I’m a horrible person. I admit it.
I hate those November Daily “I’m thankful for…” posts.
I know that’s terrible. It’s such a nice thing for people to do. I’ve even complained about people’s general lack of gratitude on several occasions.
But, I can’t help myself. I hate those.
I don’t know what exactly it is about them, but the second I see one my eyes involuntarily roll so hard I can see my brain. If they’re numbering the days then I get a solid two rolls in.
I’m especially horrible because I have done the whole November daily “I’m thankful for…” thing myself before, and even then it irritated me. That’s got to be more than wrong.
Why can’t I rejoice instead of grimace when Lisa broadcasts how thankful she is for all her Great Aunt Marge has done for her? You remember Aunt Marge. She’s the one who ran over Lisa’s foot with her car last year, and then set fire to Lisa’s Christmas tree after Lisa brought home a brochure from Golden Acres.
Maybe Lisa ought to be expressing her thankfulness for quality insurance coverage and a low deductible!
How come I have trouble swallowing Michelle’s expression of thankfulness for “everyone in my life – you know who you are!”? Obviously, Michelle is happy to share her feelings about people, since 3 weeks ago she pointed out that she has been stabbed in the back by “everyone in my life – you know who you are!”
Michelle ought to be expressing thanks for not getting a gnarly whiplash from that mood swing.
And, much as I am rejoicing along with Amy that her little Ethan has overcome his biting habit and moved on to “bigger and better” things, I’m not sure that goosing his teacher every time she walks by is truly bigger or better.
Perhaps Amy ought to be grateful Ms. Spritz is not litigious.
Maybe I’m just envious because no one wants to hear that I’m thankful we figured out a way to make concrete at home, which involves running a full canister of oatmeal (quick cook or regular) through the dishwasher. Twice, apparently.
Or, perhaps I’m jaded because no one seems impressed that our dog has finally figured out which door leads to the outside, and no longer mistakenly goes into the bathroom or garage while trying to get out of our house. Most of the time. Well, more like 50/50, but still an improvement.
I don’t know why I can’t seem to bring myself to be wholeheartedly-supportive of the Facebook-y thankfulness efforts of others. I really should figure out why that is.
But not right now.
Right now I’ve got to update my Facebook with “I’ll be thankful when these stupid ‘I’m thankful for…’ things are done.”
I mean that in a thankful way. Of course.
Laugh Out Loud!
How do you feel about those November daily thankfulness posts? What do you feel guilty about being irritated by? Are you a horrible person, too? Should we get matching t-shirts? Nothing white, though. I’m a spiller! Shoot me a comment. I look forward to hearing what you think.Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission