Tuesday Tickles – ovvt
Complied by Gina Valley
I love to share giggles.
Here’s some of the tweets that made me laugh in the last week.
Great tweets from great tweeps:
Now that everyone has cell phones don’t you think we should widen roads a little.
— American Zero (@apatheticist) August 18, 2013
I just met a woman who told me she had “trouble keeping weight on” in times of stress. I ate her.
— Elizabeth Fries (@funnyfries) April 20, 2012
If you’re wondering how many times a child has to trip before she realizes plastic heels aren’t shoes, the answer is shut up, yes they are.
— Suburban Snapshots (@SuburbanSnaps) August 14, 2013
My kids just chose to keep playing with each other rather than watch TV. Someone better go check Hell, it might be frozen.
— Jen Mitchell (@buriedwithkids) August 14, 2013
Pro tip: If you ignore your kid long enough, they figure out how to do it themselves. Related, my 3 year old makes a mean stir fry.
— The Cisco Kid (@TheCiscoKidder) August 16, 2013
Someone secretly replaced all my pants with these smaller ones.
— Dirty Dishtowels (@dirtydishtowels) August 15, 2013
Is there a trick to fighting fire with fire?Um,because my kitchen pretty much has twice as much fire now.
— Luvs2Laff (@Luvs2Laff6) August 15, 2013
“Who is she?” “Why is she mad?” “Whose baby is that?” Him: “You are not allowed to ask questions in the SIXTH SEASON.” #BreakingBad
— Kelley (@KelleysBreakRm) August 19, 2013
Currently working on a layer of fat around my six pack for protection.
— JoeJoeKeys (@JoeJoeKeys) August 19, 2013
Got my ass smacked for the first time in forever. He’s 5, but still. It’s nice to be appreciated.
— Amy (@FunnyIsFamily) August 16, 2013
Real men don’t waste their hormones growing hair.
— Phil Torcivia (@PhilTorcivia) August 19, 2013
Today I taught my daughter how to wash her face by cupping her hands and splashing the water. It was a mistake.
— Peter J. (@dadmeatsgrill) August 19, 2013
Before kids I did a lot less screaming from the toilet.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) January 8, 2013
Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!
Momspeak
(stuff I can hardly believe I said out loud to my pack this week):
You have to wear shoes to school.
Wanting to know how the internet was invented is not an emergency, so go back to bed.
Flaming Hot Cheetos are not breakfast, even with milk poured over them.
Kidspeak
(stuff I can hardly believe one of my pack said to me this week):
If I save them up all week, can I have 5 puddings for lunch Friday? (I actually told him to go for it. You’re only young once)
It gives you good luck if you don’t wash your soccer socks for the whole season.
Did you take my taquito out of the bathroom?
Laugh Loud Out!
-gina
What makes you smile? Where do you turn when you need a giggle? Do you have a favorite tweeter? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.
Don’t miss a giggle. Be sure to “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.
