Tuesday Tickles – dvovt

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

“I’m gonna make a sandcastle with my Legos!” — My Son

— John Pseudonymous (@Twinfamy) October 27, 2013

 

Posted a pic of my 5 year old on Instagram and immediately lost 2 followers so he’s grounded.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) October 26, 2013

 

Parenting: 1. Get down from there! 2. What’s that smell? 3. Be quiet!!!! (Repeat for 18 years)

— mrONEderful (@ericONEderful) October 24, 2013

 

Watched my 4yo make a potato chip sandwich with cookies for the bread, and now he’s my new life coach.

— Hunter Steele (@FatherWithTwins) October 21, 2013

 

My son has no idea that the way you know you’re done looking for something is that you find it.

— Paula Poundstone (@paulapoundstone) October 24, 2013

 

This Halloween, remember parents, it’s never too early to teach your children about taxes. Eat 30% of their candy. You’re welcome.

— Jenny (@_LittleMsBossy_) October 29, 2013

 

Sad to watch long-standing Jewish traditions disappear as Guilt-Based Parenting gives way to Threats-Of-Reduced-Screen-Time-Parenting.

— Barmy Rootstock (@IbecameMyDad) October 28, 2013

 

16 just asked what a g-spot is. This is my suicide note.

— UberBoobs™ (@psychogoddess) October 29, 2013

 

Fairly certain that my 5 year old can negotiate better than most lawyers.

— Big Poppa (@good__times) April 27, 2013

 

Dear Kelloggs, Cereal that makes them go back to sleep. Sincerely, Tired parents

— Floyd E. Coyote (@dafloydsta) September 12, 2013

 

My wife thinks it’s the kids that keep eating all the trick-or-treat candy. Believe me, I have no problem letting them take the blame.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) October 23, 2013

 

Costume shopping would be so much easier if I would just let my daughters go as hookers.

— YKIHAYHT (@YKIHAYHT) October 26, 2013

 

Just in case anyone is looking for their snot, my son has it all over his face. All of it. MY SON HAS ALL THE SNOT.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) January 12, 2013

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

 

Momspeak

(stuff I can hardly believe I said out loud to my pack this week):

You can’t sleep on the kitchen floor.

Who put cheese on top of the refrigerator?

Bring an empty bag for lunch.

 

Kidspeak

(stuff I can hardly believe one of my pack said to me this week):

Don’t worry, Mom.  The puppy didn’t eat the eggs.  He just smashed them.

Paper plates didn’t do very well in the dishwasher.

It’s raining in the dining room.

 

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Don’t miss a giggle.  Be sure to “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.