Tuesday Tickles – dqvt

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

My family has decided to go one week without desserts. This is my suicide note.

— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) October 15, 2013

 

I’ve opened & smelled the unknown contents of sippy cups found in the back of cars, so yeah, the Navy SEALs are recruiting me pretty hard.

— Babies Daddy (@dshack8) October 14, 2013

 

You think Superman ever walks around in just his cape and underwear? Or is my toddler’s current outfit totally inaccurate?

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) October 15, 2013

 

*looks up from phone* “Kids!! we’re leaving the playground in 22 percent.”

— Abhorrent Housewife (@abhorrent_wife) June 24, 2013

 

Just did a math problem in my head, now these teenagers think I’m a wizard

— mcgillicutty (@themcgillicutty) October 11, 2013

 

My son just asked my husband what he’s wearing around his neck because he’s never seen him wear that before. It’s a tie. My son is 12.

— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) October 11, 2013

 

Currently jealous of people who can take showers without looking down and seeing two kids eating Cheetos and asking questions

— kelly (@kjmeow) November 7, 2012

 

I’ve been juicing for a few weeks and I’m gaining weight. Maybe Capri Suns weren’t the best idea.

— Madeline (@gigglegirlnoel) October 15, 2013

 

I cut 4s toast into squares not triangles. Complete meltdown. So I cut the squares into triangles… & now he thinks I’m a wizard. Mom win!

— callie (@callie_cakes) September 27, 2013

 

Scientific fact: the 6yo brain translates “HURRY UP, WE’RE LATE!” to “slow…down…even…more…”

— Texapino (@hpb777) October 14, 2013

 

Sent 3yo to her room to find underpants. She came back stark-naked, playing a harmonica. NO PATERNITY TEST REQUIRED.

— bumlaser (@bumlaser) September 28, 2013

 

My 4 year old just came up to me and whispered “Don’t worry, I didn’t do anything” and walked away and now I don’t want to sleep, ever again

— Jay (@theshamingofjay) October 15, 2013

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

 

Momspeak

(stuff I can hardly believe I said out loud to my pack this week):

Don’t hit your sister with that phone. It’s already broken.

Who fed the dog Kleenex?

If you can’t stop standing on your brother, than just go eat your dinner outside.

 

Kidspeak

(stuff I can hardly believe one of my pack said to me this week):

The puppy cleaned off the dryer lint thingy.

Mrs. Borgnia called. I told her you were pooping.

If I wear my jacket, the rain will get it wet.

 

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Don’t miss a giggle.  Be sure to “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.