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Top 10 Ways To Tick Off Your Cardiologist

Top 10 Ways To Tick Off Your Cardiologist

by Gina Valley

Met my new cardiologist yesterday.  Gotta say, pretty rude.

Him.  Not me.

I was delightful.

I miss the cardiologist I met in that tiny town in Washington when my whole mystery ailment started.  I always get his last name wrong, but his first name is Romeo.  He was caring and patient, and he is the funniest person I’ve ever met.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top Ten Ways To Tick Off Your Cardiologist But, alas, Romeo is in the wrong state, and I need a local cardiologist.  I needed the first available appointment, so the luck of the draw in the cardiology department gave me…what shall I call him?…let’s go with Dr. Rude.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Dr. Rude is a fine, well-qualified physician.  But, his bedside manner was beyond short and gruff.   Honestly, I thought he acted like a jerk.

Looking back on my appointment, I wonder if perhaps it’s not Dr. Rude’s fault he was rude.  After all, he did say I was young, 4 or 5 different times.  Granted, the average cardiology patient is twice my age, but I’ll take whatever compliments I can get (he also said that I have a small neck.  I haven’t decided if that’s a compliment or not yet).

Maybe there’s a reason Dr. Rude was rude.  Maybe he is really Dr. LotsOfFun, but his LotsOfFun demeanor has been hidden by some outside force.  Maybe someone, or lots of someones conspired to tick off Dr. LotsOfFun and changed him into Dr. Rude.

The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that Dr. Rude was a victim of circumstance.  Perhaps of more than one.  Perhaps one of these 10.

Top Ten Ways To Tick Off Your Cardiologist

#10.  Bring a tray of fried ham and cheese sandwiches to share with the whole office.

#9.  Show up gassy.  With plugged sinuses.

#8.  Ask him if he could have helped the Grinch, if he’d a practice in Whoville.

#7.  Glue all of his tongue depressors together (why do they have those?  Is my heart in my mouth?).

#6.  Tap on your leg while he listens to your heart.

#5.  Give him a membership to The Bacon Of The Month Club.

#4.  Ask him if he picked a small organ to specialize in because he’s lazy.

#3.  Phrase all of your answers in the form of a question.

#2.  Tell him he needs to strip and put on a paper gown before he begins the examination.

#1.  Put a kink in his stethoscope.

Laugh Out Loud!


Have you had an encounter with a less than enchanting medical professional?  How did you handle it?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.




4 Responses
  • Marjorie McAtee
    July 17, 2013

    I used to go to a chiropractor I called Dr. Doom because he was always going on about how serious my condition was and how bleak my future.

  • Vinny C
    July 17, 2013

    And exactly how many of those are you willing to admit to doing during your visit? Hmmmmm?

  • Renee
    July 18, 2013

    Many decades ago: Discovered some small, hard lumps either side under my jaw, went to recommended doctor, he ordered CAT scan. I went in for results. My Dr. Doom proceeded to tell me I was in serious condition (meaning the big “C”), needed surgery immediately, had to check in that weekend (2 days away). And because of the location, I would need plastic surgery afterwards as some nerves would need to be cut, that side of my face would droop + I would suffer post-nasal drip for the rest of my life.

    I was so in shock. I refused to make surgery date, picked up the CAT scam (typo intentional) & on my way out, noted that his second specialty was plastic surgery (he was ENT specialist). Was so frightened, almost got hit by a car crossing the street when I left his office. Found a top notch second specialist through a friend.

    The diagnosis: Severely impacted lymph nodes. Take antibiotics, warm compresses throughout the day, stay at home & rest in bed for 2 weeks. He didn’t even look at the cat scan…said it wasn’t necessary.

    Never, never, NEVER let anyone cut up your body without a second or even a third opinion.

  • Leslie
    July 19, 2013

    Gina, bad news…I have met several cardiologists and most of them are rude and uncaring. I think they take up cardiologist precisely because they lack a heart themselves. But don’t give despair, I did meet a nice one here and there. Nice cardiologists are out there, they are just out-numbered by the other guys.