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He Used MY Toothbrush!!!

He Used MY Toothbrush!!!

by Gina Valley

He used my toothbrush!

How disgusting is that?

And, it didn’t even seem to bother him. He actually seemed to think it was funny.

It was not funny.

There is nothing funny about someone else using your toothbrush.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley He Used MY Toothbrush!!! Marriage

Especially, when it’s my toothbrush.

I know what some people think. We’ve made babies together, clearly this is not the first “mixing of our essences.” That’s true. Not even the first time today.

And, I have to admit my tongue has touched his teeth before. Yet, somehow, the idea of using my toothbrush as a go between from my mouth to his is totally unacceptable.

He chuckled as he told me that, after he’d finished brushing his teeth, he realized he’d grabbed and used the wrong toothbrush. Mine, inadvertently, instead of his.

I say there are no accidents.

Besides, my toothbrush is pink and his is dark blue. How do you mix those up? I wonder what Dr. Phil would say about that?

I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by totally freaking out, much as my OCD was screaming at me to do just that.  I couldn’t very well start scrubbing my toothbrush with bleach without insulting him. So, I decided I’d “accidentally” knock my toothbrush into the toilet, thereby making its replacement both mandatory and blameless.

While I smoothed moisturizer onto my skin with my left hand, I used my pinky and ring finger of my right hand to slowly inch the contaminated oral cleaning rod toward the toilet.

Just touching it gave me the heebie jeebies. How could I touch something dripping with someone else’s saliva?

My tooth brush was an agent of filth.

My toothbrush was a speed rail for germs.

My toothbrush was bone dry.

How was it possible for my toothbrush to be quite without humidity when he had used it just minutes before?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley He Used MY Toothbrush!!! Marriage

My eyes darted around the bathroom, searching for an answer, and fell on his dark blue toothbrush, lying on the counter, next to his toothbrush holder (he never stands it up in its holder. Drives me crazy).

Had he used his own toothbrush, but thought it was mine? Could someone really mix up pink-in-a-holder with blue-on-the-counter? Was it time to start looking for “The Home”?

At the risk of barfing a little, I decided to check his toothbrush for signs of recent usage. His, too, was bone dry.

Was this a miracle? Had toothbrush angels descended from heaven and dispelled the disgusting act?!?!

I stared at our bathroom counter, realizing that even the toothbrush angels couldn’t reverse this travesty of personal hygiene. I might have thrown up a little in my mouth, just thinking about what had happened.

Yes, he had used my toothbrush, but not my pink one from my toothbrush holder.  He’d used the dark green one I keep on the counter next to the sink.

The one I use to clean the gunk out from underneath my fingernails!!!

Maybe there is something funny about someone else using your toothbrush, after all.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What would you do if someone used your toothbrush?  Is the toothbrush the holy grail of hygiene? I’m looking forward to hearing what you think, so shoot me a comment.

6 Responses
  • Samantha
    July 7, 2014

    OMG I just had this issue over vacation this weekend. Only packed one. Made him buy his own although he said sharing was no big deal.

    • gina valley
      July 7, 2014

      Isn’t it weird, Samantha, how guys don’t seem to mind sharing toothbrushes with us? I guess it’s a compliment to us. A very,very weird compliment!!! ;o)

  • Vinny C
    July 7, 2014

    Oh, so it’s a travesty when he contaminates your toothbrush with his mouth but it’s all fine and dandy (and funny, even) when the stuff from under your fingernails get into his mouth? Hmm? Okay, maybe it is… a little.

    Seriously, though, I don’t mind if my wife uses my toothbrush. It happened before when she was late for work once and didn’t want to take the time to look for her own toothbrush that mysteriously went AWOL that morning. I don’t think she’d be as accepting of me making the same mistake. One time, when I was still living with my parents, I had to burn my toothbrush after my father accidentally used it, though.

    • gina valley
      July 7, 2014

      Now, Vinny, it’s not fine nor dandy when the stuff from under my fingernails gets into his mouth, but it IS totally funny because it was his own doing. I have to admit he didn’t find it nearly as funny as I did, but he did brush it off (pun intended) by saying, “Ehh, toothpaste probably killed all the really nasty stuff.”

      You guys seem to be much more accommodating about the whole toothbrush-sharing-thing than we ladies are. We appreciate that, even if it does gross us out a bit.

      Laughing out loud about burning your toothbrush after your dad used it!

  • Uplifting Families
    July 8, 2014

    I am like you I don’t think I would want to share a tooth brush with someone else. I usually keep a few extras under my sink or in my stock pile for this very occasion.

    • gina valley
      July 10, 2014

      I keep a stash under our sink, too, Christy. I get grossed out just thinking about sharing a toothbrush. Or, about skipping brushing for a few days, like my kids try to get away with sometimes, because they have lost their tooth brush. How do you lose toothbrush?!?!