Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent …Gina’s Favorites

Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Laugh along on Throwback Day with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent

This whole Take Your Child To Work Day thing is an interesting idea. But, some of us hit a bit of a kink when we try to put it into practice.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent ...Gina's FavoritesDid you find that when you tried to take your child to work with you, your child was already there?  I did. I thought I was losing my mind. Again.

I wondered if I should check my symptoms on WebMD. After all, I felt dazed and confused.

But, then I remembered, I’m not crazy; I’m a WFHP (Work From Home Parent).

Do you feel like you might be losing your mind?  If so, you might be a WFHP (Work From Home Parent), too.

Here are some symptoms to watch for:

Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent

#10.  You’ve found yourself in a fog, holding a leaking juice box in one hand and a marketing report in the other, torn between which to deal with first.

#9.  Your printer has been flashing “paper jam” when the problem was in fact a “jam sandwich” jam on three separate occasions.

#8.  The last four phone numbers you wrote down are inscribed on the back of a paper plate because your folio pad is filled with drawings of dinosaurs by a young up-and-coming artist.

#7.  You took notes during your last conference call with a purple crayon, because you hid the real pens so well after the aforementioned artist used them to re-design the wallpaper in the foyer that even you can’t find one.

#6.  There are more Legos than file folders on your desk.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent ...Gina's Favorites

#5.  Your paper clips are easy to find, but hard to use, because they’re all connected into one giant chain that’s strewn across your doorway like a flexible limbo bar.

#4.  You had to use plastic safety scissors to cut out the images for the display for your last presentation.

#3.  You have offered a large cash bribe to someone under the age of 10 to be silent during a phone call.

#2.  The majority of your file folders have peanut butter smudges on them somewhere.

#1.  You knew when you saw this list you’d have to wait until the middle of the night to read through it if you wanted to do it with fewer than 6 interruptions.

Sound familiar?

You’re not crazy.  You’re a parent trying to work from home.

Of course, there are a lot of similarities between the two.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are you a work from home parent? Were your parents work from home parents? How’d that work out? Shoot me a comment. You’re already here anyway, and I’m looking forward to hearing what you have to say.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After New Year’s…Gina’s Favorites

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After New Year’s…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

I’m traveling with my family this week, so to keep you in giggles, I’ve loaded up some of my favorite posts.  Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After New Year’s

There is nothing less revelry-like than trying to get to work after revelry-ing in the New Year. You’ve had relatives, cookies, and hyper kids to deal with.  You’ve had no sleep, a big plate of rumaki, and some iffy imbibing decisions.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can't Go To Work The Day After New Year’s...Gina's FavoritesWhat you need today is to sleep without ceasing.  But, your boss expects you to show up ready to accomplish great things.

What if you don’t feel inspired?  What if you don’t feel recharged?  What if you don’t feel your legs?

What do you say when you call in to explain, knowing your boss is ready to come back with, “You haven’t been to work since last year!”?

Don’t worry.  I’ve got your back.  I’m a giver like that.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After New Year’s:

#10  I was helping put the final touches on the floats for the Rose Parade, and I’m glued to a giant, purple flower-covered octopus.

#9  I ate too many Christmas cookies and I can’t squeeze my arse out of my front door.

#8  The battery in my clock is dead, so I’m still waiting for New Year’s Eve to end.

#7  I’m making my list of New Year’s resolutions and the first one is to finish my list of New Year’s resolutions.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can't Go To Work The Day After New Year’s...Gina's Favorites

#6  The hideous Christmas sweater my Aunt Sheila knitted for me got tangled in the branches when I dragged our Christmas tree to the curb, and no one can find any scissors to cut me out.

#5  My dog ate my homework (that always applies, right?).

#4  We were acting out A Christmas Story and my tongue is frozen to a pole in the school yard.

#3  My cousin Bernie put all my underwear in the freezer, and I’m waiting for them to thaw out.

#2  The ladder fell over while I was taking down our Christmas lights, and I’m hanging from the rain gutter.

#1  I started my New Year’s exercise program yesterday and I can’t lift my arms, bend my legs, or turn my head today.

I can get you a note, if you need one.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Were you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, bounding out the door this morning?  Or, were you leaning more toward red-eyed and tail-dragging, crawling out the door?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

When EVERY Day Is Take Your Kids To Work Day

When EVERY Day Is Take Your Kids To Work Day

by Gina Valley

I got a call from Kelly, a former office mate. She told me that she’s considering taking a flex time position, and she was wondering if my productivity had changed since I made the jump to working from home fulltime.

I laughed and laughed and laughed. She’s such a kidder.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley When EVERY Day Is Take Your Kids To Work Day

Turns out she wasn’t kidding.

She has 2 preschool kids and wants to spend more time with them. So, she actually wanted to know what my days are like since my commute changed from the 405 freeway for an hour to the upstairs hall for 25 feet.

My first impulse was to ask her if she knew the definition of bedlam.  But, I decided instead to give her a few examples of life when every day is Take Your Kids To Work Day.

I panic and race through our house several times a week to check for disasters when I suddenly realize it’s quiet and I’ve been uninterrupted for 10 minutes.

I check at least twice that everyone is wearing underwear before I Skype with a client.

I’ve stopped work, even though I had a deadline looming, to go look at the “giantest worm in the whole world ever” twice, just this week.

I have 3 different colors of glitter glue in my office supply cabinet.

There is a stuffed animal or toy truck occupying the guest chair in my office nearly all the time.

I have, without thinking, asked the FedEx guy if he needs to use the bathroom before he leaves, and have also accidentally reminded the UPS guy to use his inside voice.

I’ve been late heading out to a meeting because my car’s windshield was completely covered with Post It notes with crooked little smiley faces drawn on them.

There is finger paint in my top desk drawer. Not all of it is in its container.

I’m currently out of Wite-Out because someone used it to paint his red Hot Wheels Trans Am so it would be camouflaged in the snow.  And, by “snow” I mean the big tub of vanilla ice cream I bought 2 days ago.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley When EVERY Day Is Take Your Kids To Work Day

I’ve been side-tracked by the need to perform an “egg frying on the sidewalk” experiment or a “frozen bee removal” exercise, repeatedly.

My fax machine has been on the fritz because it was used to try to send a GI Joe to another dimension (I was asked later “Would it have worked better if we’d used a cover sheet?”).

I had a client ask me, “Is everything ok?” after my youngest hollered at me while I was on the phone with that client, “No one is on fire or bleeding from the head, but it is an emergency!” (it was, by the way, so not an emergency).

So, yes, my productivity has changed.

But on the other hand, my young officemates are a lot of fun.

They do need a lot more help wiping than my old officemates did, though.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Anyone little “helping” you get a lot done? I’m looking forward to hearing all about it!   Shoot me a comment with all the details.  No glitter necessary!

Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent

Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent

by Gina Valley

This whole Take Your Child To Work Day thing is an interesting idea. But, some of us hit a bit of a kink when we try to put it into practice.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent

Did you find that when you tried to take your child to work with you, your child was already there?  I did. I thought I was losing my mind. Again.

I wondered if I should check my symptoms on WebMD. After all, I felt dazed and confused.

But, then I remembered, I’m not crazy; I’m a WFHP (Work From Home Parent).

Do you feel like you might be losing your mind?  If so, you might be a WFHP (Work From Home Parent), too.

Here are some symptoms to watch for:

Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent

#10.  You’ve found yourself in a fog, holding a leaking juice box in one hand and a marketing report in the other, torn between which to deal with first.

#9.  Your printer has been flashing “paper jam” when the problem was in fact a “jam sandwich” jam on three separate occasions.

#8.  The last four phone numbers you wrote down are inscribed on the back of a paper plate because your folio pad is filled with drawings of dinosaurs by a young up-and-coming artist.

#7.  You took notes during your last conference call with a purple crayon, because you hid the real pens so well after the aforementioned artist used them to re-design the wallpaper in the foyer that even you can’t find one.

#6.  There are more Legos than file folders on your desk.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent

#5.  Your paper clips are easy to find, but hard to use, because they’re all connected into one giant chain that’s strewn across your doorway like a flexible limbo bar.

#4.  You had to use plastic safety scissors to cut out the images for the display for your last presentation.

#3.  You have offered a large cash bribe to someone under the age of 10 to be silent during a phone call.

#2.  The majority of your file folders have peanut butter smudges on them somewhere.

#1.  You knew when you saw this list you’d have to wait until the middle of the night to read through it if you wanted to do it with fewer than 6 interruptions.

Sound familiar?

You’re not crazy.  You’re a parent trying to work from home.

Of course, there are a lot of similarities between the two.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are you a work from home parent? Were your parents work from home parents? How’d that work out? Shoot me a comment. You’re already here anyway, and I’m looking forward to hearing what you have to say.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After New Year’s…Gina’s Favorites

As I’m spending extra time celebrating with my family, today’s post is one of my favorites from the past.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After New Year’s…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

There is nothing less revelry-like than trying to get to work after revelry-ing in the New Year. You’ve had relatives, cookies, and hyper kids to deal with.  You’ve had no sleep, a big plate of rumaki, and some iffy imbibing decisions.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can't Go To Work The Day After New Year’sWhat you need today is to sleep without ceasing.  But, your boss expects you to show up ready to accomplish great things.

What if you don’t feel inspired?  What if you don’t feel recharged?  What if you don’t feel your legs?

What do you say when you call in to explain, knowing your boss is ready to come back with, “You haven’t been to work since last year!”?

Don’t worry.  I’ve got your back.  I’m a giver like that.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After New Year’s:

#10  I was helping put the final touches on the floats for the Rose Parade, and I’m glued to a giant, purple flower-covered octopus.

#9  I ate too many Christmas cookies and I can’t squeeze my arse out of my front door.

#8  The battery in my clock is dead, so I’m still waiting for New Year’s Eve to end.

#7  I’m still making my list of New Year’s resolutions and the first one is to finish my list of New Year’s resolutions.

#6  The hideous Christmas sweater my Aunt Sheila knitted for me got tangled in the branches when I dragged our Christmas tree to the curb, and no one can find any scissors to cut me out.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can't Go To Work The Day After New Year’s#5  My dog ate my homework (that always applies, right?).

#4  We were acting out A Christmas Story and my tongue is frozen to a pole in the school yard.

#3  My cousin Bernie put all my underwear in the freezer, and I’m waiting for them to thaw out.

#2  The ladder fell over while I was taking down our Christmas lights, and I’m hanging from the rain gutter.

#1  I started my New Year’s exercise program yesterday and I can’t lift my arms, bend my legs, or turn my head today.

I can get you a note, if you need one.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Were you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, bounding out the door this morning?  Or, were you leaning more toward red-eyed and tail-dragging, crawling out the door?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Laugh, Cry, Or Stab Someone With A Fork!

Laugh, Cry, Or Stab Someone With A Fork!

by Gina Valley

If there was even one clean fork in this house I’d have stabbed somebody.

Daughter#1 called during my morning meeting, which frankly wasn’t going that well anyway.  Someone had just said that he didn’t understand my fee since I “just have to write down what pops into my head.” He then pointed out that it isn’t like I have to “work hard like a plumber or even an NFL player.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Laugh, Cry, Or Stab Someone With A Fork!

My cell phone buzzed with Daughter#1’s call right then, denying me the opportunity to search through my purse for a fork.  That’s really too bad, because, as long as the jury had a few writers, artists or even pole dancers on it, I’m sure I’d never have been convicted.

I stepped out of the meeting to take Daugher#1’s call.  My kids know to text when I’m scheduled for meetings, because I can always answer those subtly.  They’re to call only if there is an urgent problem, like bleeding from an artery or being on fire or having head lice.  So, naturally, I was concerned.

I was also a sucker.

Daughter#1, who is in high school, was calling me with a sock emergency, as in she needed some.

Now, you need to realize that when she left for school in the morning, I had mentioned her lack of socks.  I’d told her to go back up to her room to get some before her ride left.  Nothing stinkier than shoes that have housed naked feet.

But, it wasn’t her feet that were suffering from her lack of sockage.   It was her hands.  She needed socks to make a sock puppet.  In her college preparatory history class.  Did I mention she’s in high school?

When I noted that she could just get hers off of her feet, she mentioned, in fine teenage form, that she hadn’t exactly taken my sock advice that morning and wasn’t wearing any.

I texted a picture of a fork to her.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Laugh, Cry, Or Stab Someone With A Fork!I bought a new, fluffy bed for our girl puppy, as her brother had spilled a gallon of milk on her old one.  Even twice through the washing machine hadn’t gotten rid of the smell, so it had taken a trip to the rubbish can.

Our 70LB delicate feminine flower seemed thrilled with her soft, new sleeping place.  She jumped on it, bit it several times, and then did her tradition pre-snooze 3 spins.

But, she didn’t lie down to snooze after the last spin.  I thought she’d decided to sit down instead, but I was wrong.  She wasn’t squatting to sit.  She was, unbelievably since she’s been house trained for months, squatting to piddle.

Big canine that she is, her output was tremendous.  The flood she produced quickly filled every nook and cranny of the fluffy, tufted bed.  Seeing the rising tide, I let out a yell.  This startled the pup, and she and her piddle-soaked feet took off galloping through our house, leaving a trail of shiny, wet paw prints.

While I attempted to delicately wrangle the drenched bed out of my house, our boy puppy crashed into me, jolting the bed and causing much of its liquid cargo to splatter onto the floor.  And my feet.

If I’d had a fork, I’d have used it.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Laugh, Cry, Or Stab Someone With A Fork!Homework time was a joy to behold.  My 12 year old, for example, morphed into a screaming, fit-throwing two year old, and took 37 minutes and 2 temper tantrums to write 1 spelling word definition.  I handled the situation with extreme parental grace by turning into a screaming, fit-throwing two year old myself.  Of course, my tirade was a bit more impressive than his.  I have broader vocabulary.

I knew better than to allow myself to think about a fork at that point.

With our pack finally all in their beds for the night, I decided to tell The Professor the tale of my day’s woes.  He is, after all, required to be sympathetic, at least until death parts us.  He listened intently as I began.

I was not even half a sentence into the stabby story of my day when, not only did that man nod off, he flippin’ let out a snore that woke the dog.

But, I didn’t yearn for a fork.

I went and got a bowl of warm water.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How’s your week going?   Are you laughing?  Any fork-worthy events?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

What Happened To My Margin?

What Happened To My Margin?

by Gina Valley

Poem Poetry Trees Humor Funny Humorous Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Kid Kids Child Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Grandpa Grandma Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Gina Valley Stillness Sunday What Happened To My Margin Rest
Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Rest

Soft and fragrant

Light and pure

Sparks my own

Seen in a mirror

 

Close my eyes

To open my mind

Dance of dreams

No passage of time

 

The patter of magic

Soft footfalls

Brilliant spaces

Tiny halls

 

Sparkles and stars

Shimmer and shine

All bring stories

Laughter mine

 

Enter thoughts too big to see

Hear them clear and brought to me

 

As I carry off my dreamed gifts dear

I know

Again

I’ll be drawn back here

-Gina Valley

 

I’m really tired today.

I’m so tired that I spelled “I’m” wrong.  Twice.  Thank goodness for spell check!

I’m not sleepy, although I wouldn’t say “no” to a nap (who would say “no” to a nap?), I’m tired.

Things have popped up in life that I need to make time for in my already full schedule, things that take energy to deal with.  Energy that, frankly, I just don’t have right now.

I need to do some re-prioritizing and re-scheduling because my plate is too full, and my time to rest and recharge has been lost.  I need to get that back.

Of course, ironically, it takes time to do the re-prioritizing and rescheduling to open up some time.  That’s why I haven’t done it yet.

I’m sure you can relate.

I think we all over-stuff our days, spending time and energy before we even have them.

I need to make it a point, we all do, to schedule enough margin into life to allow for the stuff that shows up unexpectedly.

When we don’t allow ourselves margin, unscheduled extra time and energy, we position ourselves into an unbendable place.  Our life lacks give.  If there is no give, no bend, no margin, our only options are to stand firm or to break.

We need that third option.

We need margin.

Margin allows us to take time to think and enjoy.  When we are too busy doing good stuff, we miss out on doing the best stuff.  We need margin to allow us to see it before it passes us by.

I need to get my margin back.  I’m going to spend part of the holiday tomorrow planning, rescheduling, and delegating toward that end.

I’m also going to start a big squirt gun fight.

Fun is the first thing that disappears when the margin is missing.  I intend to take mine back.

I hope you do, too.

Love!

-gina

How is your life?  Is it balanced right now?  Do you have enough margin to allow for the pop-ups?  Are you allowing yourself to have fun?  How do you make sure you don’t miss the “bests” while you are working on the “goods”?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Is That A Cannon In Your Pocket?

Is That A Cannon In Your Pocket?

My week continues to be travel-centric, although yesterday’s sudden bout of stomach flu did threaten to derail (yes, the pun is intended) my travels.  Nonetheless, got that “Planes, Trains & Automobiles” thing going.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Cannon Bodyguard HALO Lego Dinosaur Brontosaurus ProtectionIf you see one of those majestic airliners beautifully dancing through the clouds above you today, I might be in it.  Probably not, though, because I’m driving today.

Today’s RetroGina Post is my My Bodyguard’s Assault Cannon Is Bigger Than Yours post.   This post is consistently a reader favorite.   It is one of the 5 most read each month, and is the 2nd most read post overall on the blog.

I hope reading it brings you lots of smiles, and maybe a reminder of how the little things you do make a big difference in the lives of the people around you.

You can read my My Bodyguard’s Assault Cannon Is Bigger Than Yours post in its entirety below, or, for you hardcore readers, you can click one of the nifty links to transport yourself to the original post.  Totally your choice.  You get cardio credit either way ‘cause I’m a giver like that.

Whichever you choose, thank you for reading!

My Bodyguard’s Assault Cannon Is Bigger Than Yours

This is Hunter.  He (well at least I think he’s a “he”) is from HALO and is my body guard this week. At 2 ½ inches tall, he’s the largest plastic body guard I’ve had.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Cannon Bodyguard HALO Lego Dinosaur Brontosaurus Protection

A couple years ago on a Wednesday evening, Sons #3 & #4 came to understand that after they went to bed at night I would stay up to work.  I’m not sure they understood then, although I’m reasonably sure they do now, that I need peace and quiet to write.  Certainly, it will be years, probably not until they are parents themselves, before they will understand that I’d rather give up my sleep for that peace and quiet than give up my time with my children.

But what I know they did understand that day was that their mommy was up alone in the sleepy, dark house in the middle of the night.

This was, and to some degree I suppose still is, a scary concept to them.  When they wake up in the middle of the night they find it a frightening thing. So, loving sons that they are, they wanted to protect their mommy from the dangers of the night.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Cannon Bodyguard HALO Lego Dinosaur Brontosaurus ProtectionThey scampered up to their room, and much inaudible discussion ensued.  A few minutes later they returned with a Lego peg-legged pirate, complete with sword and pistol. He (I’m quite certain he was a “he”) looked quite rough and tough and burly, as one would expect a Lego pirate to be.

They handed me their little plastic treasure and explained to me that he was to sit on my laptop computer.  “He’s to keep you company, and to keep you safe,” Son #3 had explained.  “So you won’t be lonely…or scared,” Son #4 added.

I had my first body guard, Pegleg, with me for nearly two years.  He would occasionally be called into service during the day, but, miraculously, he was always in his place standing guard when I sat down to work each night.  If only they had kept such good track of their shoes, or their pet newts!

But, one night when I sat down to work Pegleg was nowhere to be seen.  In his place stood a proud swordsman from an Arabia Lego set.  Although he didn’t have a pistol, he had a long sword and a swooshing cape.

Swooshing Cape kept me company, dutifully standing guard, for about an hour before curiosity forced me to my younger boys’ room.

Was Pegleg in the midst of a battle paused to continue the following morning? Was Pegleg the recipient of a career ending injury and forced to retire from his bodyguard duties? Had they simply lost Pegleg during the day’s events?

I had to know what had happened to Pegleg!

But, it was 2AM so I would have to figure it out on my own, tempting though it was to rouse one or the other of them from their sleep.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Cannon Bodyguard HALO Lego Dinosaur Brontosaurus ProtectionTurning on their bright lights would have woken them up, so that was NOT an option.  I was so thankful for the dimmer switch in their room as I picked my way across the cluttered floor.  I could never have made it in the dark.  Who needs weapons of mass destruction when you have Legos and Hot Wheels on duty?!?!

Their Lego table was covered with structures and figures, but all seemed to be from their modern city building sets.  Their significant pirate population was all on the shelves where they belong, apparently having been quite inactive that day.

I found Pegleg, looking none the worse for wear, sitting on the poop deck of their largest ship.  He was not broken nor missing nor otherwise engaged, yet for some reason Swooshing Cape had taken his place.

I started back to my office, fighting the urge to wake them up to ask what the deal was (Would that really have been so terrible? At least it would have given them more to talk about during therapy as adults!).

I was nearly safely out of their room when I realized this was going to bug me all night.  So, to put my mind at ease, I went back to their shelves and grabbed Pegleg.  Ok, I get a teensy bit set in my OCD ways. So, sue me.

I put Pegleg on my laptop right next to Swooshing Cape.  Both silently watched over me while I worked.  I think I heard them whisper a couple times, but I wasn’t really sure.

True to my OCD nature, I rose a bit early the next morning so I could return Pegleg to the poop deck from whence he came before Sons #3 & #4 woke up.  I didn’t want my boys to know I’d messed with their body guard arrangements for me.  And, I really didn’t want anyone to know that I couldn’t focus on my work without the aid of a teensy plastic pirate.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Cannon Bodyguard HALO Lego Dinosaur Brontosaurus ProtectionDuring breakfast, I casually asked about the appearance of Swooshing Cape.  Son#4 answered, without skipping a beat, or swallowing his waffle for that matter, that “Other guys want a turn.”  Well, that made sense.  It was rather unfair for Pegleg to get all of the fun.  Son#3 added, “We thought you’d like to meet some new guys, too.” How many times had I reminded my kids that meeting new people is fun?  Good grief!  They’d been listening!

So, Swooshing Cape stayed with me for about ten days.  He was replaced on a Sunday afternoon by a tiny brontosaurus, who, I was told, “is not a Lego, but still a cool guy.”

Ever since then, each Sunday afternoon my two youngest boys have provided me with a new body guard.  I’ve never had to ask.  I’ve never reminded them.  Sometimes they introduce us.  Sometimes the new “guy” just mysteriously appears at his post. But my body guard is always there.

And, every time I look at my tiny guardian for the week my heart squishes a little, because alongside that tiny toy is a giant reminder of how much my little boys love me.

Laugh AND LOVE Out Loud!

-gina

Isn’t it amazing the ways children find to show love?  So innocent and clear!  How do your kids take care of you?  What is something special someone has done for you to show they care about you? What have you done for someone else?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Do You Hear Scraping?

Do You Hear Scraping?

I should have realized something was amiss when I slowly woke up this morning.  I was at peace, relaxed and warm and snug in my bed.  None of my usual “Oh-my-gosh-it’s-morning-go-go-go!!!” kicked in.  That should have been a clue to panic and fly out of bed.  It’s unfortunate that neither Miss Marple nor Columbo was around, because I did not get that clue.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Running Late Post Vacation Work School Rushing Oversleeping Toenails Clippers ClippingUsually I’m racing halfway down the hall toward my littles’ room before both of my eyes are fully open, shouting, “Everybody up! Are you up?  Let’s go!”  But not today.

Today, I took advantage of my pack’s school holiday break, and decided to go back to sleep for an hour.  This would have been fine were it not for one minor detail that apparently slipped my clearly foggy mind.

My pack is not on holiday break this week.

Ooops.

So, obviously, letting everyone sleep in an hour late was something of a tactical error in the ever-raging battle to be on time to school.

Even The Professor, who had the gall to choose this morning as the rare morning not to keep me awake with constant buzz-saw snoring (which I am pretty sure means the whole “Everybody’s running late”  mess this morning was his fault), was late heading out the door, and muttering something about the bloody traffic and what wankers LA drivers are (and I know he was aiming for me, but, I’m assuming due to his sleepy state, he actually kissed our coat tree goodbye).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Running Late Post Vacation Work School Rushing Oversleeping Toenails Clippers ClippingAs I lay in bed and forced myself into consciousness I became aware of the very clear sound of toenails being clipped in my bathroom, and, I noted that my toes were not in my bathroom.  My mood clouded as I realized that my private abode had been invaded by a clipper hijacker, who was undoubtedly leaving the sharper-than-glass, totally disgusting, hunks of hooves throughout my bathroom like a keratin-based sea of depth charges.

My family produces toenail shards that are stronger and sharper than any diamond cutting tool available to a gem master.  Perhaps that’s why they never pick them up. Maybe they think they’re valuable tools that must not be casually tossed out with the refuse. Yeah, that’s probably it.

It was halfway through my trek toward my bathroom to oust the invader that my brain suddenly kicked into gear, and I realized my pack had school today.  I think it was probably somewhere around the time when I heard Son#2 scream at the door to the kids’ bathroom, “Get out!  I need to get ready for school!”

School?  School! Oh Crud!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Running Late Post Vacation Work School Rushing Oversleeping Toenails Clippers ClippingThen, my natural “Oh-my-gosh-it’s-morning-go-go-go!!!” panic kicked in.   Beds were shaken.  Clothes were flying.  Lunches were lined up on the breakfast table.  Feet were crammed into shoes.  Eggo waffles were shoved into zip bags to be inhaled during the dash to school (don’t judge me.  They were almost fully toasted and had very few ice crystals left on them).

There was panic.  There was rush.  There was screaming.  And, there was an ungodly scraping sound as our dog pushed our sofa around our family room trying to cram his giant self under it to escape the commotion.

As my last pack member was scooted quickly out the door toward his waiting carpool, waffle in one hand, shoes in the other, back pack dragging behind, the dust began to settle.

While I was lifting up the end of the sofa so the dog could unwedge himself, I noticed that 3 lunches were still lined up ever so carefully on the table.  Crud.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Running Late Post Vacation Work School Rushing Oversleeping Toenails Clippers ClippingNow I’d need to fit “Lunch Delivery” into my already overstuffed, accidentally shortened by oversleeping, day-after-vacation schedule.  That was OK, though, because I needed to go out to pick up some body armor anyway to put on before I entered the free range toenail clippings zone that my bathroom had become.  I’ll probably need a Shop-Vac, too.  I’m not touching those things!

Has anyone seen my car keys?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How’d your week start out?  Was it a relaxing canter into a new day?  Or, more like a catapult ride toward a castle wall?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After New Year’s

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After New Year’s

by Gina Valley

There is nothing less revelry-like than trying to get to work after revelry-ing in the New Year. You’ve had relatives, cookies, and hyper kids to deal with.  You’ve had no sleep, a big plate of rumaki, and some iffy imbibing decisions.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley New Years Resolutions Work Excuses Call In SickWhat you need today is to sleep without ceasing.  But, your boss expects you to show up ready to accomplish great things.

What if you don’t feel inspired?  What if you don’t feel recharged?  What if you don’t feel your legs?

What do you say when you call in to explain, knowing your boss is ready to come back with, “You haven’t been to work since last year!”?

Don’t worry.  I’ve got your back.  I’m a giver like that.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After New Year’s:

#10  I was helping put the final touches on the floats for the Rose Parade, and I’m glued to a giant, purple flower-covered octopus.

#9  I ate too many Christmas cookies and I can’t squeeze my arse out of my front door.

#8  The battery in my clock is dead, so I’m still waiting for New Year’s Eve to end.

#7  I’m still making my list of New Year’s resolutions and the first one is to finish my list of New Year’s resolutions.

#6  The hideous Christmas sweater my Aunt Sheila knitted for me got tangled in the branches when I dragged our Christmas tree to the curb, and no one can find any scissors to cut me out.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley New Years Resolutions Work Excuses Call In Sick#5  My dog ate my homework (that always applies, right?).

#4  We were acting out A Christmas Story and my tongue is frozen to a pole in the school yard.

#3  My cousin Bernie put all my underwear in the freezer, and I’m waiting for them to thaw out.

#2  The ladder fell over while I was taking down our Christmas lights, and I’m hanging from the rain gutter.

#1  I started my New Year’s exercise program yesterday and I can’t lift my arms, bend my legs, or turn my head today.

I can get you a note, if you need one.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Were you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, bounding out the door this morning?  Or, were you leaning more toward red-eyed and tail-dragging, crawling out the door?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.