Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday

Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday

by Gina Valley

Super Bowl Sunday is all fun, frolic, and food.  It’s full of cheering and eating and drinking. And, some football.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday Work Super Bowl

The Monday afteron the other hand, not so much.

Let’s face it, the day after Super Bowl Sunday is really Not-So-Super Monday.

Not-So-Super Monday is the ugly twin to Super Bowl Sunday. It’s filled with exhaustion, upset stomachs, and headaches.  It’s not a super day.

The orthodox way to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday is to burrow deep under the covers, and sleep all day in the dark. Not an easy thing to do in your cubicle at work.

This year alone, it’s estimated nearly 7 million people will stay home from work to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday.

Perhaps, you’d like to join in on this Monday morning after-party party, but you’re way too tired from running back and forth to the kitchen for more hot wings to come up with a great excuse to give your boss.

No problem.  I’ve got your back.

Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday:

#10. You’re still waiting for the avocados to ripen, so you can make guacamole.

#9.  You have to take Great Aunt Bessie to the chiropractor because she threw her back out while she was gawking at the “boys in them thar tight, stretchy pants!” Again.

#8.  You have to wait around for the plumber to show up, because, apparently, your college roommate’s research into “Whether One Can Successfully Flush A 40 ounce” is still on-going.

#7.  You smacked you head on the patio table when you tried to “fly” like Jonathan Stewart did when he snagged that touch down by propelling himself over the pile of players stacked up on the goal line, so you aren’t allowed to drive or think for at least a week.

#6.  You’re rechecking your computations to be sure the 50 million cases of beer supposedly consumed in the US on Super Bowl Sunday does in fact equal more than 5 bottles per adult, and wondering if you were supposed to have 10 since your neighbor didn’t have any.

#5.  Your cat is a huge Carolina Panthers fan, so you can’t possibly leave her home alone at a time like this.

#4. The “Why is it called football when they don’t use their feet?” discussion with your know-it-all cousin from Caracas turned a bit physical after you screamed, “How’s this for using my foot?!?!” And, long story short, you agreed to drive your cousin’s pizza delivery route for him until he can comfortably sit down again.

#3.  You were up all night having nightmares about that puppymonkeybaby in the Mountain Dew commercial. What the heck, Mountain Dew? What the heck?!?!

#2.  All those giant flowers in the halftime show set off your allergies, and you’re out of Benadryl.

#1.  You tried a bottle of your brother’s bathtub brew, and you’re not yet prepared to be out of visual contact with the loo and its “Super Bowl.”

I’ll be happy to write you a note for the week.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Did you watch the Broncos and the Panthers gridiron battle?  Which was your favorite commercial?  What’s your favorite snack?  Or, did you do something else you enjoyed this weekend?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Dreamstime.com – Used with permission.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday

by Gina Valley

Super Bowl Sunday is all about fun, frolic, and food.  It’s full of cheering and eating and drinking. And, some football.

The next day, on the other hand, is not.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday FootballLet’s face it, the day after Super Bowl Sunday is really Not-So-Super Monday.

Not-So-Super Monday is the ugly twin to Super Bowl Sunday. It’s filled with exhaustion, upset stomachs, and headaches.  It’s not a super day.

The orthodox way to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday is to pull the covers back over your head and sleep all day in the dark, not an easy thing to do in your cubicle at work.

This year alone, it’s estimated that nearly 7 million people will stay home from work to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday.

Perhaps, you’d like to join them, but you’re way too tired from running back and forth to the kitchen for more cheese dip to come up with a great excuse to tell your boss.

No problem.  I’ve got you covered.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday:

#10. Someone unplugged your crockpot, and you’re still waiting for the hot wings to finish cooking.

#9.  You’re still trying to explain to your brother-in-law why XLIX means 49.

#8.  You had nightmares about those sharks who sang and danced with Katy Perry during the halftime show, and you’re afraid to go outside.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday Football#7.  You’re rechecking your computations to be sure that the 50 million cases of beer supposedly consumed in the US on Super Bowl Sunday does in fact equal more than 5 bottles per adult, and wondering if you were supposed to have 10 since your neighbor didn’t have any.

#6.  You have to take your granny to the chiropractor because she threw her back out when she was gawking at the “boys in them thar tight, stretchy pants!” Again.

#5.  You tried a bottle of your uncle’s homemade ale, and you’re not yet prepared to be out of visual contact with the loo and its “Super Bowl.”

#4. The “Why is it called football when they don’t use their feet?” discussion with your know-it-all cousin from Caracas turned a bit physical after you screamed, “How’s this for using my foot?!?!” And, long story short, you agreed to drive your cousin’s pizza delivery route for him until he can comfortably sit down again.

#3.  You’re still crying because of that Nationwide Insurance commercial where the little kid says, “…but, I couldn’t grow up, because I died from an accident.”  What the heck, Nationwide?!?! What the heck?!?!

#2.  All those flashing lights at halftime hypnotized you, and every time someone says “football” you cluck like a chicken, so you’re going to be in therapy all day.

#1.  You pulled a hamstring diving for the last meatball, and you can’t get out of your recliner.

I’d be happy to write you a note.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Did you watch the Patriots and the Seahawks battle it out?  Did you have a favorite commercial?  What was your favorite snack?  Or, did you do something else you enjoyed this weekend?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Super Funnies

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super FunniesSuper Funnies

Compiled by Gina Valley

The teams are trained.

The brats are bought.

The chips are in the bag.

The keg of guacamole is tapped.

Time for some laughs before we settle in for the pre-game coverage.

Are you ready for the kick off?

Laugh along with these Super Funnies:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

I’m sayin’!!!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

See? You do need math in adult life!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

They have their own version of everything.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Office politics are tough!!!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

That would  be so cool!!!

 

 Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

How can you not like a $4,000,000 30 second movie?

 

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Don’t worry, Jaguars, Texans, and Browns don’t know either. ;o)

 

Funny Humor Super Bowl http://ginavalley.com/  Super Funnies  – Read & Laugh All About It!

Yeah! What’s up with that?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Not to panic – hockey is still going!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

She’s not so much a fan!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

I hate when that happens!!!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Makes me smile!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Maybe it’s post-post-season-pre-pre-season coverage.

 

Have a Super Day!!!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you watch the Super Bowl?  Or, do you have another Super activity?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Signs There’s A Super Bowl Party At Your House

Top 10 Signs There’s A Super Bowl Party At Your House

by Gina Valley

Has mayhem beseeched your home?  Are there strange sights, sounds, and smells?

Perhaps you’re hosting a Super Bowl party.

But, how can you know for sure?  Here’s some symptoms to check for:

Top 10 Signs There’s A Super Bowl Party At Your House

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs There’s A Super Bowl Party At Your House#10.  For the first time in the history of the world, CostCo is out of sour cream.  This might also be a sign that the world is coming to an end, so I recommend you pick up some extra cases of water bottles while you’re there.

#9.  Your “sports crazy, always-watches-the-game-with-you, his favorite team is playing” teen, decides that he should stay out all night Saturday night before the Super Bowl for a marathon video game session with friends, insuring he’ll be exhausted and grumpy during the game.  And, he forgets to ask permission to go.  And, he forgets to mention he is leaving.  And, he forgets to mention he’s borrowing your car (insuring that you’ll be exhausted and grumpy during the game, too).

#8.  Your children have used window markers to create colorful Super Bowl themed pictures…on your hardwood floors.

#7.  Your 15 year old daughter announces she has just become a strict vegan.  If you missed the announcement, don’t worry, she’ll re-announce it to every person who enters your home or eats something for the next 3 months. Your 11 year old son will help to make it a smooth transition for her by announcing to her “Mmmm.  Animal parts!” every time he eats any non-vegetable item.

#6.  Someone spiked a stuffed football into the toilet of your guest bathroom, attempted to destroy the evidence of the spiking by flushing the stuffed football, and now your guest bathroom toilet is so clogged that the pipes are shaking and possibly screaming. Although, the screaming might actually be coming from you.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs There’s A Super Bowl Party At Your House

#5.  Your son sits down on your sofa, and the thing breaks. Collapses.  No warning – just kerplunk (I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a sofa breaking before. I’m not sure I would’ve believed it now if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes).

#4.  Your dog decides that he needs a new chew toy, and chooses the cord for your new Crockpot to tide him over.

#3.  You have a 55 gallon barrel of guacamole and 12 bushels of tortilla chips in your garage.

#2.  Your family’s meal plan centers around the 4 basic food groups of chips &dip, hot wings, chili, and antacids.

#1.  You know when your husband says, “Hey Baby, I’ve got something big for you!” he’s talking about the new 72” HDTV he bought on the way home from work “so everyone can see the game clearly.”  He’s a giver like that.

May the remote be with you.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you plan to watch the Super Bowl?  Are you getting together with friends or family, or do you prefer to go solo so you have complete control of the remote?

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Friday Funnies – Super Bowl Edition

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition FootballFriday Funnies – Super Bowl Edition

Compiled by Gina Valley

The teams are trained.

The brats are bought.

The chips are in the bag.

The legalized marijuana jokes have been made.

The keg of guacamole is tapped.

Time for some laughs before we settle in for the pre-game coverage.

Are you ready for the kick off?

Here’s my Friday Funnies – Super Bowl Edition:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
This would be so fun to make!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
It’s important to set goals!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
I think that would be great! The coin toss is so last year!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
Grumpy Cat’s not so much a football fan.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
I hate when that happens.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
Shhh! I’ll never tell.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
Don’t worry, Jaguars, Texans, and Browns don’t know either. ;o)

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
Get it?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football

So, is Super Bowl XLIX gonna be striped-out?

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football

How can you not like a $4,000,000 30 second movie?

 

Funny Humor Football Super Bowl http://ginavalley.com/  Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition – Read & Laugh All About It!
Yeah! What’s up with that?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football

Maybe it’s post-post-season-pre-pre-season coverage.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
Not to panic – hockey is still going!

 

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How’s your week going?  Is it “super”?  Or, are you getting tackled?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Football Party Do’s & Don’t’s…Gina’s Favorites

Football Party Do’s & Don’t’s…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Maybe you’ve caught wind of a little ‘ole football game they’re playing this Sunday.  It’s kind of a big deal around our house.  I figured this would be a great time to get ready to tackle some Super Bowl watching etiquette laughs with this Gina’s Favorites post. Laugh on!

Football Party Do’s & Don’t’s

Just ‘cause it’s a party, doesn’t mean there aren’t rules.  Without rules, we just have anarchy.  And, let’s face it, as far as parties go, anarchy stinks.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Football Party Do's & Don't's...Gina's Favorites Super Bowl

So, as you’re celebrating this weekend, keep these guidelines in mind.

Do cheer when your team scores.

Don’t chest bump your 89 year old great, grandma.

Do enjoy your favorite beverage or libation over the course of the game.

Don’t play The Drinking Game with ugly ties and men wearing bad rugs on the broadcast as the triggers.

Do enjoy some dessert.

Don’t cram 150 M&M’s in your mouth and try to say “Pass the ball!”

Do hang up decorations in your favorite teams colors.

Don’t go door to door calling your neighbors “Loser!”

Do serve a variety of cold cuts, chips, and your homemade chili.

Don’t serve “pluck them yourself” hot wings.

Do provide a variety of beverage options for your guests.

Don’t serve your cousin Eddy’s 100 proof Bathtub Brew.

Do admire the players’ athletic prowess.

Don’t say, “Now that’s what I call a tight end!” every time they snap the ball.

Do try out your new fondue kit.

Don’t let your neighbor drink the cheese directly from the pot.

Do let your guests enjoy the game uninterrupted.

Don’t turn to the Food Network during the commercials to check out the Chopped marathon.

Do provide a range of arts and crafts to keep children at your party occupied.

Don’t let the children play with your wood burning kit or the cat, and especially not both at the same time.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Football Party Do's & Don't's...Gina's Favorites Super BowlDo groan and protest bad calls during the game.

Don’t throw meatballs at the TV screen when it shows the referee.

Do set up snack stations throughout your home to encourage guests to move around.

Don’t let the dog stand on the dining room table snarfing up your special recipe punch.

Do discuss the finer points of the game.

Don’t demonstrate proper hiking technique using your 1 year old.

Do embrace the party atmosphere you see at the game as you watch the broadcast.

Don’t strip down and “streak” through your living room.

See you at the coin toss!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What are your party do’s and don’t’s?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Are You Ready For Some Football?…Gina’s Favorites

Are You Ready For Some Football?…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

It’s a big week for fans of the pigskin, hot wings, or big parties.  So, I figured my Are You Ready For Some Football? post would be just right for Throwback Day.  Here’s a handy guide to understanding America’s favorite tackle sport.  If you understand children playing, you’ll have no trouble with grasping the finer points of this game.  And, laughing about them.

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Are You Ready For Some Football?...Gina's Favorites Super Bowl

Are you ready for some football?

Perhaps you say, “But, Gina, I don’t like football.”

Fair enough.  Just because 1 out of every three Americans and countless more the world over are watching it this week, doesn’t mean you have to watch it, much less like it.

But, before you relegate yourself to watching the Puppy Bowl again, or reading as a conscientious objector, let me just ask you to think about this:

Is it possible that the reason you are less than fond of this battle of a game is because you find it all a bit confusing and unrelatable?

Come on, throw me a bone here.  It’s possible, right?

Now, I confess that I love sports. All sports.  Granted hockey is my favorite, but football is a lot of fun to watch, too.  But, you have to understand what is going on to totally appreciate it.

Let me let you in on a little secret – here’s the key to the whole American football sport for my non-football-ite readers out there:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Are You Ready For Some Football?...Gina's Favorites Super Bowl

American football (just “football” for the rest of this column) is like two 5 year olds playing with a pile of blocks. 

It’s just like that.  If you can understand what’s happening when 5 year olds play with blocks, you’ve got a handle on football.

Each 5 year old wants to make the biggest pile of blocks they can.  Their entire drive and goal is to get more blocks than the other 5 year old.  If one’s pile of blocks is arranged in a more skillful manner than the other’s, that’s great, but what really matters is how big the pile is.

Each football team wants to make the biggest pile of points that they can.  Their entire drive and goal is to get more points than the other time.  If one team scores its points in a more skillful manner than the other, that’s great, but what really matters is whose pile is bigger.

When trying to get blocks out of the bin, 5 year olds take turns.

When trying to get points, football teams take turns.

5 year olds get several tries, or “do overs,” in their efforts to make progress toward building a tower.

Football teams get 4 “downs,” which are really “tries” or “do-overs,” in their efforts to pileup points.

If 5 year olds behave in certain ways they will get a time out, which takes them farther away from the tower they want to build.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Are You Ready For Some Football?...Gina's Favorites Super Bowl

If football teams behave in certain ways they will receive a penalty, which, in general, moves them 5 -15 yards farther away from the points they want.

5 year olds will get a time out if they to use certain strategies that would be considered cheating or dangerous in their quest to build their pile of blocks or in an effort to prevent their opponent from building his.

Football teams will get a penalty if they to use certain strategies that would be considered cheating or dangerous in their quest to build their pile of points or in an effort to prevent their opponent from building his.

5 year olds receive a time out if they do something that would injure each other.

Football teams receive a penalty if they clip, chop block, run into the kicker, make illegal contact, illegally block in the back, or face mask their opponents.

5 year olds must not try to cheat when building their towers.

Football teams must not intentionally ground the ball or use illegal procedure.

A 5 year old must keep the bin of blocks in the play area or mom will move it closer to the other 5 year old.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Are You Ready For Some Football?...Gina's Favorites Super Bowl

A football team must keep the ball inbounds at kickoff or the referee will move it closer for their opponent.

5 year olds receive a time out if they throw a tantrum.

Football teams receive a penalty if they have unsportsmanlike conduct.

5 year olds receive a time out if they grab the other 5 year old or keep the other 5 year old from getting ready to reach into the bin of blocks.

Football teams receive a penalty for holding their opponents, for interfering with their opponent’s efforts to get ready to catch the ball, or for delaying the game.

5 year olds are not allowed to trick one another into doing something wrong.

Football teams are not allowed to make false starts.

5 year olds must remain in their proper tower building territory.

Football teams must not commit encroachment.

In the event of a dispute during the tower building, 5 year olds can call in their mom, tell her their stories, and ask her to settle their differences a couple times.  After that, complaining to mom will get them into trouble.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Are You Ready For Some Football?...Gina's Favorites Super BowlIn the event of a dispute during the football game, football teams can ask the referee to review plays a couple of times during each half of the game.  After that, complaining to the referee will get them into trouble.

5 year olds are not allowed to brag about how great they were at putting a particular block on their tower.

Football teams are not allowed to have illegal celebrations after scoring.

See?

They’re basically the same thing.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you love football?  Do hate it?  Do you show up to hang with friends or for the yummy snacks?  Do you have a question about the game?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Not So Super Monday

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work             On Not So Super Monday

by Gina Valley

Super Bowl Sunday is fun and exciting.  It’s full of cheering and eating and drinking.

Super Bowl Monday is not.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Monday Work Super Bowl Not So Super Monday Playing Hookie Calling In Sick Top 10 ReasonsIn fact the day after the Super Bowl is really Not So Super Monday.  All of that reveling and lack of sleep come back to haunt us, or at least make our heads hurt like heck.  It’s not a fun day.

The best way to celebrate Not So Super Monday is to pull the covers back over your head and sleep all day in the dark.  I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of trouble doing that at my desk.  So, skipping work on Not So Super Monday is an attractive idea.  I don’t think I am the only one who thinks so.

In fact, last night I read a survey (it was online so it must be true) which found that 22% of Super Bowl revelers will call in sick on Not So Super Monday.

Perhaps, you’re one of them, but, with the commonness of the call in sick on Not So Super Monday phenomenon, you know you need a really good excuse.

No problem.  I’ve got your back.  I’m a giver like that.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Not So Super Monday:

#10.  You put the the ice sculpture of a football helmet your nephew carved in Boy Scouts on your head to dance around with Beyonce during halftime, and your forehead is stuck to the inside of it.

#9.  You’re still trying to explain to your brother-in-law why XLVII means 47

#8.  You’ve been up all night trying to decide who should win the Coke Chase.

#7.  You are officially in mourning for the 49ers once perfect Super Bowl record.

#6.  You have to take your granny to the chiropractor because she threw her back out when she was gawking at the “boys in them thar tight, stretchy pants!”

#5.  You ate the entire 2 pound cheese log centerpiece and you are not yet prepared to be out of visual contact with the loo and its facilities.

#4. The friendly game of catch in the backyard during half-time got a little intense, and, long story short, you agreed to attend classes for your smart mouth 18 year old cousin because he is still seeing double.  But, he is no longer mouthing off.

#3.  You’re still crying because of that Budweiser Clydesdales “Brotherhood” commercial.

#2.  You ran out of guacamole before halftime, so you’re going to be in therapy all day.

#1.  You’re on bed rest because you pulled a hamstring diving for the last meatball.

Let me know if you need a note.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Did you Super Bowl it this week?  Did you have a favorite commercial?  What was your favorite snack?  Or, did you do something else you enjoyed this weekend?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Signs You Might Be Hosting A Super Bowl Party

Signs You Might Be Hosting A Super Bowl Party

by Gina Valley

Are you wondering what sort of mayhem has beseeched your home?  Perhaps you’re hosting a Super Bowl party.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Hosting Super Bowl Football Party ConfusionBut, how can you know for sure?  Here’s some symptoms to check for:

You might be hosting a Super Bowl party if on Saturday your son sits down on your sofa, and the thing breaks. Collapses.  No warning – just kerplunk (I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a sofa breaking before. I’m not sure I would’ve believed it now if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes).

You might be hosting a Super Bowl party if your garbage disposer and your oven are making the same groany, angry, near-death noise.

You might be hosting a Super Bowl party if your “sports crazy, always-watches-the-game-with-you, his favorite team is playing” teen, decides that he should stay out all night Saturday night for a marathon video game session with friends, insuring he’ll be exhausted and grumpy during the game.  And, he forgets to ask permission to go.  And, he forgets to mention he is leaving.  And, he forgets to mention he’s borrowing your car (insuring that you’ll be exhausted and grumpy during the game, too).

You might be hosting a Super Bowl party if, for the first time in the history of the world, CostCo is out of sour cream.  This might also be a sign that the world is coming to an end, so I recommend that you pick up some extra cases of water bottles while you’re there.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Hosting Super Bowl Football Party ConfusionYou might be hosting a Super Bowl party if your hair refuses to stop doing the wave.

You might be hosting a Super Bowl party if your 15 year old daughter announces she has just become a strict vegan.  If you missed the announcement, don’t worry, she’ll re-announce it to every person who enters your home or eats something for the next 3 months. Your 11 year old son will help to make it a smooth transition for her by announcing to her “Mmmm.  Animal parts!” every time he eats any non-vegetable item.

You might be hosting a Super Bowl party if someone has tried to flush that stupid stuffed toy seal you picked up in Nova Scotia, again, and the guest bathroom toilet is so clogged that the pipes are shaking.

You might be hosting a Super Bowl party if your dog decides that, since it is so cold outside, the dining room table’s leg is a tree.  As are, apparently in his opinion, most of the chairs.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Hosting Super Bowl Football Party ConfusionYou might be hosting a Super Bowl party if you have a 55 gallon drum of guacamole and 12 bushels of tortilla chips in your garage.

You might be hosting a Super Bowl party if your family’s meals for the day center around chips, dip, hot wings, chili, and antacid tablets.

You might be hosting a Super Bowl party if you know when your husband says, “Hey Baby, I’ve got something big for you!” he’s talking about the new 72” HDTV he bought on the way home from work “so everyone can see the game clearly.”   He’s a giver like that.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you plan to watch the Super Bowl?  Are you getting together with friends or family, or do you prefer to go solo so you have complete control of the remote?

Football Party Do’s & Don’t’s

Football Party Do’s & Don’t’s

by Gina Valley

Just ‘cause it’s a party, doesn’t mean there aren’t rules.  Without rules, we just have anarchy.  And, let’s face it, as far as parties go, anarchy stinks.

So, as you’re celebrating this weekend, keep these guidelines in mind.

Do cheer when your team scores.

Don’t chest bump your 89 year old great, grandma.

Do enjoy your favorite beverage or libation over the course of the game.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Football  Sports Party Etiquette Super BowlDon’t play The Drinking Game with ugly ties and men wearing bad rugs on the broadcast as the triggers.

Do enjoy some dessert.

Don’t cram 150 M&M’s in your mouth and try to say “Pass the ball!”

Do hang up decorations in your favorite teams colors.

Don’t go door to door calling your neighbors “Loser!”

Do serve a variety of cold cuts, chips, and your homemade chili.

Don’t serve “pluck them yourself” hot wings.

Do provide a variety of beverage options for your guests.

Don’t serve your cousin Eddy’s 100 proof Bathtub Brew.

Do admire the players’ athletic prowess.

Don’t say, “Now that’s what I call a tight end!” every time they snap the ball.

Do try out your new fondue kit.

Don’t let your neighbor drink the cheese directly from the pot.

Do let your guests enjoy the game uninterrupted.

Don’t turn to HGTV during the commercials to check out the Chopped marathon.

Do provide a range of arts and crafts to keep children at your party occupied.

Don’t let the children play with your wood burning kit or the cat, and especially not both at the same time.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Football  Sports Party Etiquette Super Bowl

Do groan and protest bad calls during the game.

Don’t throw meatballs at the TV screen when it shows the referee.

Do set up snack stations throughout your home to encourage guests to move around.

Don’t let the dog stand on the dining room table snarfing up your special recipe punch.

Do discuss the finer points of the game.

Don’t demonstrate proper hiking technique using your 1 year old.

Do embrace the party atmosphere you see at the game as you watch the broadcast.

Don’t strip down and “streak” through your living room.

See you at the coin toss!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What are your party do’s and don’t’s?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.