Football Party Do’s & Don’t’s

Football Party Do’s & Don’t’s

by Gina Valley

Just ‘cause it’s a party, doesn’t mean there aren’t rules.  Without rules, we just have anarchy.  And, let’s face it, as far as parties go, anarchy stinks.

So, as you’re celebrating this weekend, keep these guidelines in mind.

Do cheer when your team scores.

Don’t chest bump your 89 year old great, grandma.

Do enjoy your favorite beverage or libation over the course of the game.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Football  Sports Party Etiquette Super BowlDon’t play The Drinking Game with ugly ties and men wearing bad rugs on the broadcast as the triggers.

Do enjoy some dessert.

Don’t cram 150 M&M’s in your mouth and try to say “Pass the ball!”

Do hang up decorations in your favorite teams colors.

Don’t go door to door calling your neighbors “Loser!”

Do serve a variety of cold cuts, chips, and your homemade chili.

Don’t serve “pluck them yourself” hot wings.

Do provide a variety of beverage options for your guests.

Don’t serve your cousin Eddy’s 100 proof Bathtub Brew.

Do admire the players’ athletic prowess.

Don’t say, “Now that’s what I call a tight end!” every time they snap the ball.

Do try out your new fondue kit.

Don’t let your neighbor drink the cheese directly from the pot.

Do let your guests enjoy the game uninterrupted.

Don’t turn to HGTV during the commercials to check out the Chopped marathon.

Do provide a range of arts and crafts to keep children at your party occupied.

Don’t let the children play with your wood burning kit or the cat, and especially not both at the same time.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Football  Sports Party Etiquette Super Bowl

Do groan and protest bad calls during the game.

Don’t throw meatballs at the TV screen when it shows the referee.

Do set up snack stations throughout your home to encourage guests to move around.

Don’t let the dog stand on the dining room table snarfing up your special recipe punch.

Do discuss the finer points of the game.

Don’t demonstrate proper hiking technique using your 1 year old.

Do embrace the party atmosphere you see at the game as you watch the broadcast.

Don’t strip down and “streak” through your living room.

See you at the coin toss!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What are your party do’s and don’t’s?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Laugh Log – Super Bowl Edition

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You  Super Bowl Football

Laugh Log – Super Bowl Edition

by Gina Valley

The teams are trained.

The brats are bought.

The chips are in the bag.

 

Time for some laughs before we settle in for the pre-game coverage.

Are you ready for the kick off?

Here’s my Laugh Log – Super Bowl Edition:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Laugh Log Facebook Pinterest Twitter Momspeak Kidspeak Thank You Super Bowl Football

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How’s your week going?  Is it “super”?  Or, are you getting tackled?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

What Just Bounced Off Of My Head?

What Just Bounced Off Of My Head? – Throwback Day

by Gina Valley

Each of my kids is completely unique (“unique” is one of Son#3’s vocabulary words this week.  Just thought you might want to know) in both personality and extracurricular activities.  Art, photographyHumor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Throwback Day Soccer Fairy Photography Saxophone Marching Band Magic, crafts, drama, singing, dance, and nearly every sport.  Basketball to La Crosse to volleyball and every sport in between – their favorite sports run the sporting world gamut.

But, my whole pack has one thing in common.  They all love soccer.  From the time they could crawl, each and every one of them chased after that ball.

And, somehow, despite my complete lack of coordination (I’ve fallen just watching them play) they are all gifted players.  I guess I’ll have to wait and see how their kids play to know whether that’s because soccer skills skip a generation or because mixing two scientists who met in the marching band spontaneously creates amazing soccer skills in their children.

Either way, my pack is filled with amazing soccer players who excel in every area of the game, except one:  they can’t keep track of their soccer stuff.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Throwback Day Soccer Fairy Photography Saxophone Marching Band MagicI have lost count of the number of shin guards I’ve purchased because someone could only locate one, which, for you non-soccer people let me just say really doesn’t work out well.

We’ve had cleats disappear never to be seen again before they even went to their first game.

And the uniforms!  Socks and shorts are forever disappearing.  The amount I’ve spent replacing them could have paid for our own private soccer field several times over.

But, the disappearing jerseys are the worst.  I can’t replace those.  Not a week goes by that some pack member isn’t close to a nervous breakdown because of a missing jersey.

I used to think all this stress was the result of my pack being somewhat disorganized and perhaps a bit lazy with keeping track of their stuff.  But, after years of observing the continual problem I came to realize this phenomenon was something beyond the capacity of mere children.  There had to be another explanation.

Something more powerful, more magical, more devious than mere children had to be behind this constant confounding.  A few years ago I realized what it was.

It’s the Soccer Fairy.Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Throwback Day Soccer Fairy Photography Saxophone Marching Band Magic

Clearly, the Soccer Fairy sneaks into our house and hides my pack’s stuff.  There’s no other explanation.

As always, the Soccer Fairy has been hard at work this season.   Since I have spent so much time battling with the S.F. this month I thought that Struck By The Soccer Fairy…Again would be the perfect Throwback this week.

So, click on over there and give it a read.  I hope it gives you lots of giggles!

As always, the extra click to get there counts as cardio!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Any fairies keeping your life interesting?  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.  Shoot me a comment with the details.

Why Don’t Dancers Wear Numbers?

Why Don’t Dancers Wear Numbers?

While watching my kids fly across the stage in their latest dance ensemble performance I was struck by how much better the whole experience would be if dance was willing to adopt a few habits from sports.

Why Don’t Dancers Wear Numbers?    September 14, 2012What could dance learn from sports?

Well, I’ll tell ya.

Sports puts numbers on the identical players.  Why doesn’t dance do that?

I’m sorry, but when you put 25 four year-olds into pink tutu’s  and matching hairdos, and have them run around, it’s nearly impossible to tell which one is mine.  This of course leads to “creative answering” when the fateful “Did you see me?” question is asked.

Think how helpful it would be to know that little Kimmy was wearing a giant #8 on her back so you could tell her apart from the other dozen little girls dressed exactly like her spinning across the stage.

Sports gives you a list of who is who and what they are doing so you’ll know where to look when.  Why doesn’t dance do this?  Wouldn’t it be great to know that 2 minutes into the second song your kid is going to kick twice and then leap across the stage?  Think how nice it would be to get that recorded, instead of just a bunch of nose scratching and wedgie fixing.

Sports serves serious food.  All Why Don’t Dancers Wear Numbers? September 14, 2012the time.  Dance serves fluffy food, and only at halftime.  They don’t even call it “halftime.”  Heaven help you if you call it “halftime.”  They don’t find that at all amusing.  And, they won’t let you eat while you watch.  What’s up with that?

Sports people are excited and happy before the big game. Dance people have no sense of humor anywhere near a performance day.  Do not smile.  Do not crack a joke.  Actually, I’ve found that it’s better not to talk to them at all on performance day.  Just put down whatever they asked you to bring them and back out of the room slowly.  And, don’t make any sudden moves.

In sports you cheer for your team.  You cheer for your favorite player.  You cheer ‘cause it’s Tuesday.  If you feel it, you yell it.  In dance you remain silently seated until the end of each piece.  You may then clap in an organized, controlled manner.  You aren’t even allowed to stand up while you clap until the very end.  What’s up with that?  My kid just did that giant spinny –leap-through-the-air thing without crashing.  Why can’t I give her a woot woot?

Why Don’t Dancers Wear Numbers? September 14, 2012Sports replays significant moments on a big screen in slow motion for all to see.

In dance, if you look down because you dropped one of your bootlegged Skittles, you may look up to see a pile of 16 dancers heaped in the middle of the stage and never be able to figure out the unfortunate chain of events that led to that pile up.

Dance, help a mother out!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How could your family’s extra-curriculars improve?  Shoot me a comment.  I look forward to hearing all about it.

You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience!

You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience!

by Gina Valley

I believe it is time for some honesty in parenting.

We do a lot of things for our kids.  Uncountable things.   Infinitely many actions on their behalf.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Honesty Eavesdropping Soccer CheeseAnd, also for our kids, we don’t do a lot of things.  Things that would not be in their best interest.  Like the things I think of when they have just used gravel to “wash” my new car.  Again.

But one of the most misunderstood things we do is sign them up for soccer.

Yes, exercise is good for my kids.  But, that’s not why I sign them up for soccer.

Yes, they make new friends and get to know the old ones better.  But, that’s not why I sign them up for soccer.

Yes, being a team member teaches them valuable life lessons about working together, sportsmanship, and the rewards of hard work.   Yada. Yada. Yada.   But, that’s not why I sign them up for soccer.

I also do not sign them up for soccer so I can schmooze with my friends on the sideline or to tie up all my free time so I don’t end up joining a street gang, although both of those are side effects of the whole youth soccer experience.

No, I sign them up for soccer for one reason and that one reason alone.

To eavesdrop on strangers.

That’s right.  While I am sitting there on the sideline, cheering them on during a game or just watching a practice, my ears are peeled.  And, yours are, too.  Don’t try to deny it.

But, today’s eavesdropping experience was ruined by Mr. Cheese.

I don’t know if that’s his real name, but it should be because Mr. Cheese talked non-stop about cheese.

He started his cheese evangelism with the woman sitting to his right. When she faked death to escape the conversation he focused his cheese-aganda on the man to his left, who clearly wished he’d heeded the warning signs of the ever more distant herd of migrating spectator chairs around him.  Certainly at this point he wished that he too had made a subtle shift to the positioning of his collapsible chair. Subtle as in moved it to the next county or at least to the opponents’ side of the field (like they don’t have their own Mr. Cheese).

After the first 10 minutes of this ever flowing, live, cheese documentary I assumed it would be right in the eyes of the law for me to knock him out.  After another 10 minutes I assumed the law would require it.  By the end of the first quarter people around me were starting to gather with pitchforks and torches.  Well, it was really the torch app on their iPhones, but it was still quite menacing, nonetheless.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Honesty Eavesdropping Soccer CheeseI have nothing against cheese.  I like cheese as much as the average person does.  I eat cheese.  I cook with cheese.  But, cheese is not my life.  Cheese is a part of my life.  A very small part.  Even mice prefer some peanut butter once in a while.  But, I’m pretty sure this guy was living a cheese-centric life.

He talked about cheese through the entire game.  I was surprised he didn’t rush out onto the field during halftime to do a cheese cheer or to march around and make cheese shapes like a marching band.

If you are going to talk about cheese that much, you better be holding a platter of cheese and a big bottle of excellent wine to share with the people around you.

He had no cheese.  He had no wine.  He was over the cheese etiquette line.

And, the worst part of it?

By the end of the game, I was craving a grilled cheese sandwich so badly that I would have knocked down a toddler to get it!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have you had lunch?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about what you’re hearing all about!

Struck By The Soccer Fairy…Again

Struck By The Soccer Fairy …Again

by Gina Valley

This morning was soccer try-outs.  As always the Soccer Fairy paid us her (ok, could be a “him” – not sure, never seen the accursed Soccer Fairy) traditional “Night Before Soccer Try-Outs” visit.  She (or he) hid half of the kids’ shin guards and a couple of cleats. 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Soccer FairySomehow try-outs and the accompanying need for gear take my family by surprise every time, despite having been on the calendar for months.

This, as it always does, caused the house to be filled with the relaxing tones of “patient” prodding as their dad, The Professor, attempted to “encourage” the kids to find their stuff. 

I don’t know what he is so upset about.  After all, during the process he found his left cowboy boot, three cordless phones (only two of which belong to us), his jigsaw, and what was either formerly a banana or a crayfish. 

Years ago, in the interest of family harmony, I bought a big tub with a lid and labeled it “Soccer Cleats & Shin Guards.”  My family loved it.  They oooh’d and aaah’d over it.  They marveled as I demonstrated the procedure whereby one might remove the lid, place one’s soccer gear inside of the tub, and return the lid to its original location.  They were all impressed.

They were shocked when I then lifted the lid and revealed that their valuable possessions were, in fact, still there, inside the tub, where they had put them.  As anti-neatites, the idea of putting something where it belongs was foreign and a bit unsettling to my pack.  But, they seemed intrigued and interested in the notion of being able to use the magical tub to keep track of and to locate their belongings.  

All pledged to make use of this valuable new tool, and to fully embrace this minion of organization. 

I rejoiced.  Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Soccer Fairy

They never used it.  It is still in brand-new, pristine condition.

This morning while on the traditional hunt for their soccer gear, besides completely destroying the house, my pack located four missing library books from the last city we lived in, two notes from teachers requesting conferences last spring, and one goldfish.  The goldfish was a bit on the crispy side.  The missing cleats and shin guards continue to elude them.

I told them not to worry.  The missing soccer gear will turn up.  It always does.  On the first day of baseball season.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What’s disappearing in your neck of the woods?  Shoot me a comment with the details.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it!