Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday

Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday

by Gina Valley

Super Bowl Sunday is all fun, frolic, and food.  It’s full of cheering and eating and drinking. And, some football.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday Work Super Bowl

The Monday afteron the other hand, not so much.

Let’s face it, the day after Super Bowl Sunday is really Not-So-Super Monday.

Not-So-Super Monday is the ugly twin to Super Bowl Sunday. It’s filled with exhaustion, upset stomachs, and headaches.  It’s not a super day.

The orthodox way to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday is to burrow deep under the covers, and sleep all day in the dark. Not an easy thing to do in your cubicle at work.

This year alone, it’s estimated nearly 7 million people will stay home from work to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday.

Perhaps, you’d like to join in on this Monday morning after-party party, but you’re way too tired from running back and forth to the kitchen for more hot wings to come up with a great excuse to give your boss.

No problem.  I’ve got your back.

Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday:

#10. You’re still waiting for the avocados to ripen, so you can make guacamole.

#9.  You have to take Great Aunt Bessie to the chiropractor because she threw her back out while she was gawking at the “boys in them thar tight, stretchy pants!” Again.

#8.  You have to wait around for the plumber to show up, because, apparently, your college roommate’s research into “Whether One Can Successfully Flush A 40 ounce” is still on-going.

#7.  You smacked you head on the patio table when you tried to “fly” like Jonathan Stewart did when he snagged that touch down by propelling himself over the pile of players stacked up on the goal line, so you aren’t allowed to drive or think for at least a week.

#6.  You’re rechecking your computations to be sure the 50 million cases of beer supposedly consumed in the US on Super Bowl Sunday does in fact equal more than 5 bottles per adult, and wondering if you were supposed to have 10 since your neighbor didn’t have any.

#5.  Your cat is a huge Carolina Panthers fan, so you can’t possibly leave her home alone at a time like this.

#4. The “Why is it called football when they don’t use their feet?” discussion with your know-it-all cousin from Caracas turned a bit physical after you screamed, “How’s this for using my foot?!?!” And, long story short, you agreed to drive your cousin’s pizza delivery route for him until he can comfortably sit down again.

#3.  You were up all night having nightmares about that puppymonkeybaby in the Mountain Dew commercial. What the heck, Mountain Dew? What the heck?!?!

#2.  All those giant flowers in the halftime show set off your allergies, and you’re out of Benadryl.

#1.  You tried a bottle of your brother’s bathtub brew, and you’re not yet prepared to be out of visual contact with the loo and its “Super Bowl.”

I’ll be happy to write you a note for the week.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Did you watch the Broncos and the Panthers gridiron battle?  Which was your favorite commercial?  What’s your favorite snack?  Or, did you do something else you enjoyed this weekend?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Dreamstime.com – Used with permission.

Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer?

Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer?

by Gina Valley

I’m a hockey fan. Huge fan. Love it.

Actually, I love all sports. Any sport.

I love to go to the games. Pro, college, minor league – I love them all. Naturally, my favorites to spectate at are my kids’ games.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer? FootballI love to play, too, although my enthusiasm far out distances my skill level. I stink at pretty much every sport equally, although I have achieved particularly awesome results at badness in some.

And, I love to watch sports on TV, even if all I can manage is to have a game on in the background, to catch a glimpse of with one eye while I’m editing something or folding laundry.

BUT,

Sometimes I want to stab the announcers.

I have all kinds of pet peeves with the things sports announcers say. One of my favorites is “What do you think your team needs to do to win today?” Here’s a thought – score more than the other team, Sherlock!

Or how about, “You have Joe Pro Quarterback in the starting lineup today. Do you think he’s healthy enough to handle the job?” No, they don’t think he can handle it. They’re just putting him in to boost his self-esteem. Coaches aren’t so much worried about who wins.

And, don’t get me started on the stupid questions they often ask during postgame interviews. “You just lost 48 to 0. What happened out there today?” What happened out there? What? Weren’t you watching the game? Obviously they ran all over them. They got smashed, dragged, and taken to the dumpster.  Pay attention, Fool!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer? FootballWhen I scream, I mean chat, at hockey games on TV, I am helping the players. They can hear me. I don’t care what you say.

But, when I scream at football games on TV, I am yelling at the announcers. They drive me bananas.

I know they have to fill the air time, and all sports announcers have their mush brain moments (don’t we all, really?), but football announcers have made stating the obvious and stupid into, for lack of a better, non-four letter word, art.

“The pylon in the end zone is put there to indicate where the end zone is.”

Really? Thanks! I’m sure none of us fans at home had figured that one out. What are the yard markers for?

“His foot didn’t come down in the zone, so it was out of the zone.”

Wait a minute. I want to write that gem down.

“If he didn’t have control of the ball, than he didn’t have it under control.”

Hold the phone. Do the coaches know that?

But, there’s one thing they consistently do that causes me to want to rip off my arm to smack them around with. While I’m watching a football game, they constantly tell me I’m watching a football game.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer? FootballWe have a large screen, HDTV, but even if I was watching it on a 4” fuzzy, battery-powered, car TV in the woods, I’m relatively sure I would be aware that the game I’m watching is a football game. I can’t remember the last time I tried to tune into the Rose Bowl, and round about 3rd quarter suddenly realized I had been watching a Yahtzee game the whole time.

Nonetheless, the announcers feel the need to remind me that it is, in fact, a football game I’m viewing.

Last week I found myself yelling at the screen during the playoff games, which would be par for the course if I was yelling at the coaches or the players or the refs. I help them like that. But, I was yelling, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!’ at the announcers.

“He needs to throw the football more. He’s hanging onto the football too long. He is gonna lose that football if he doesn’t pass that football soon. Did you see what happened to the football? They stripped the football right away from him.”

Football? Really? I thought he was holding a tennis ball that had lost its fuzz, and been horribly disfigured in a freak racquet accident. Good thing he brought that to my attention.

Just say “ball,” Fool.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer? Football

“There is a lot at stake in this football game. People are focused on the outcome of this football game. The coach told me that they are prepared for today’s football game. It is very important for the QB to have his head in this football game.”

You mean this isn’t pickle ball? Well, that explains the lack of paddles and nets. I was wondering what the deal was. Thank you, Mr. Announcer, for clarifying that for me,56,000 times during the first half alone.

Just say “game,” Fool.

Don’t make me come down there!

I have a fork ready in my purse.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do TV sports announcers drive you crazy? When was the last time you yelled at your TV screen? Is it just me? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

And, hook up with me on Facebook and Twitter so we can laugh together even more.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Struck By The Soccer Fairy!!! …Gina’s Favorites

Struck By The Soccer Fairy!!! …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

I’m taking this week off to deal with some family issues, so I’ve lined up some of my favorite posts to keep you giggling.
Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Struck By The Soccer Fairy…Again!!!

This morning was soccer try-outs.  As always the Soccer Fairy paid us her (ok, could be a “him” – not sure, never seen the accursed Soccer Fairy) traditional “Night Before Soccer Try-Outs” visit.  She (or he) hid half of the kids’ shin guards and a couple of cleats.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Struck By The Soccer Fairy!!! ...Gina's FavoritesSomehow try-outs and the accompanying need for gear take my family by surprise every time, despite having been on the calendar for months.

This, as it always does, caused the house to be filled with the relaxing tones of “patient” prodding as their dad, The Professor, attempted to “encourage” the kids to find their stuff.

I don’t know what he is so upset about.  After all, during the process he found his left cowboy boot, three cordless phones (only two of which belong to us), his jigsaw, and what was either formerly a banana or a crayfish.

Years ago, in the interest of family harmony, I bought a big tub with a lid and labeled it “Soccer Cleats & Shin Guards.”  My family loved it.  They oooh’d and aaah’d over it.  They marveled as I demonstrated the procedure whereby one might remove the lid, place one’s soccer gear inside of the tub, and return the lid to its original location.  They were all impressed.

They were shocked when I then lifted the lid and revealed that their valuable possessions were, in fact, still there, inside the tub, where they had put them.  As anti-neatites, the idea of putting something where it belongs was foreign and a bit unsettling to my pack.  But, they seemed intrigued and interested in the notion of being able to use the magical tub to keep track of and to locate their belongings.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Struck By The Soccer Fairy!!! ...Gina's FavoritesAll pledged to make use of this valuable new tool, and to fully embrace this minion of organization.

I rejoiced.

They never used it.  It is still in brand-new, pristine condition.

This morning while on the traditional hunt for their soccer gear, besides completely destroying the house, my pack located four missing library books from the last city we lived in, two notes from teachers requesting conferences last spring, and one goldfish.

The goldfish was a bit on the crispy side.

The missing cleats and shin guards continue to elude them.

I told them not to worry.  The missing soccer gear will turn up.  It always does.

On the first day of baseball season.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What’s disappearing in your neck of the woods?  Shoot me a comment with the details.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it!

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday

by Gina Valley

Super Bowl Sunday is all about fun, frolic, and food.  It’s full of cheering and eating and drinking. And, some football.

The next day, on the other hand, is not.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday FootballLet’s face it, the day after Super Bowl Sunday is really Not-So-Super Monday.

Not-So-Super Monday is the ugly twin to Super Bowl Sunday. It’s filled with exhaustion, upset stomachs, and headaches.  It’s not a super day.

The orthodox way to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday is to pull the covers back over your head and sleep all day in the dark, not an easy thing to do in your cubicle at work.

This year alone, it’s estimated that nearly 7 million people will stay home from work to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday.

Perhaps, you’d like to join them, but you’re way too tired from running back and forth to the kitchen for more cheese dip to come up with a great excuse to tell your boss.

No problem.  I’ve got you covered.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday:

#10. Someone unplugged your crockpot, and you’re still waiting for the hot wings to finish cooking.

#9.  You’re still trying to explain to your brother-in-law why XLIX means 49.

#8.  You had nightmares about those sharks who sang and danced with Katy Perry during the halftime show, and you’re afraid to go outside.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday Football#7.  You’re rechecking your computations to be sure that the 50 million cases of beer supposedly consumed in the US on Super Bowl Sunday does in fact equal more than 5 bottles per adult, and wondering if you were supposed to have 10 since your neighbor didn’t have any.

#6.  You have to take your granny to the chiropractor because she threw her back out when she was gawking at the “boys in them thar tight, stretchy pants!” Again.

#5.  You tried a bottle of your uncle’s homemade ale, and you’re not yet prepared to be out of visual contact with the loo and its “Super Bowl.”

#4. The “Why is it called football when they don’t use their feet?” discussion with your know-it-all cousin from Caracas turned a bit physical after you screamed, “How’s this for using my foot?!?!” And, long story short, you agreed to drive your cousin’s pizza delivery route for him until he can comfortably sit down again.

#3.  You’re still crying because of that Nationwide Insurance commercial where the little kid says, “…but, I couldn’t grow up, because I died from an accident.”  What the heck, Nationwide?!?! What the heck?!?!

#2.  All those flashing lights at halftime hypnotized you, and every time someone says “football” you cluck like a chicken, so you’re going to be in therapy all day.

#1.  You pulled a hamstring diving for the last meatball, and you can’t get out of your recliner.

I’d be happy to write you a note.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Did you watch the Patriots and the Seahawks battle it out?  Did you have a favorite commercial?  What was your favorite snack?  Or, did you do something else you enjoyed this weekend?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Super Funnies

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super FunniesSuper Funnies

Compiled by Gina Valley

The teams are trained.

The brats are bought.

The chips are in the bag.

The keg of guacamole is tapped.

Time for some laughs before we settle in for the pre-game coverage.

Are you ready for the kick off?

Laugh along with these Super Funnies:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

I’m sayin’!!!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

See? You do need math in adult life!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

They have their own version of everything.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Office politics are tough!!!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

That would  be so cool!!!

 

 Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

How can you not like a $4,000,000 30 second movie?

 

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Don’t worry, Jaguars, Texans, and Browns don’t know either. ;o)

 

Funny Humor Super Bowl http://ginavalley.com/  Super Funnies  – Read & Laugh All About It!

Yeah! What’s up with that?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Not to panic – hockey is still going!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

She’s not so much a fan!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

I hate when that happens!!!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Makes me smile!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Maybe it’s post-post-season-pre-pre-season coverage.

 

Have a Super Day!!!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you watch the Super Bowl?  Or, do you have another Super activity?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Signs There’s A Super Bowl Party At Your House

Top 10 Signs There’s A Super Bowl Party At Your House

by Gina Valley

Has mayhem beseeched your home?  Are there strange sights, sounds, and smells?

Perhaps you’re hosting a Super Bowl party.

But, how can you know for sure?  Here’s some symptoms to check for:

Top 10 Signs There’s A Super Bowl Party At Your House

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs There’s A Super Bowl Party At Your House#10.  For the first time in the history of the world, CostCo is out of sour cream.  This might also be a sign that the world is coming to an end, so I recommend you pick up some extra cases of water bottles while you’re there.

#9.  Your “sports crazy, always-watches-the-game-with-you, his favorite team is playing” teen, decides that he should stay out all night Saturday night before the Super Bowl for a marathon video game session with friends, insuring he’ll be exhausted and grumpy during the game.  And, he forgets to ask permission to go.  And, he forgets to mention he is leaving.  And, he forgets to mention he’s borrowing your car (insuring that you’ll be exhausted and grumpy during the game, too).

#8.  Your children have used window markers to create colorful Super Bowl themed pictures…on your hardwood floors.

#7.  Your 15 year old daughter announces she has just become a strict vegan.  If you missed the announcement, don’t worry, she’ll re-announce it to every person who enters your home or eats something for the next 3 months. Your 11 year old son will help to make it a smooth transition for her by announcing to her “Mmmm.  Animal parts!” every time he eats any non-vegetable item.

#6.  Someone spiked a stuffed football into the toilet of your guest bathroom, attempted to destroy the evidence of the spiking by flushing the stuffed football, and now your guest bathroom toilet is so clogged that the pipes are shaking and possibly screaming. Although, the screaming might actually be coming from you.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs There’s A Super Bowl Party At Your House

#5.  Your son sits down on your sofa, and the thing breaks. Collapses.  No warning – just kerplunk (I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a sofa breaking before. I’m not sure I would’ve believed it now if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes).

#4.  Your dog decides that he needs a new chew toy, and chooses the cord for your new Crockpot to tide him over.

#3.  You have a 55 gallon barrel of guacamole and 12 bushels of tortilla chips in your garage.

#2.  Your family’s meal plan centers around the 4 basic food groups of chips &dip, hot wings, chili, and antacids.

#1.  You know when your husband says, “Hey Baby, I’ve got something big for you!” he’s talking about the new 72” HDTV he bought on the way home from work “so everyone can see the game clearly.”  He’s a giver like that.

May the remote be with you.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you plan to watch the Super Bowl?  Are you getting together with friends or family, or do you prefer to go solo so you have complete control of the remote?

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Reasons I’m Not In The Winter Olympics

Top 10 Reasons I’m Not In The Winter Olympics

by Gina Valley

The pageantry and spectacle of the Winter Olympic Games always fills us with inspiration and wonder.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons I'm Not In The Winter OlympicsMany of us watch the amazing athletes compete, and think to ourselves that had we just focused a bit more on sliding and gliding with more style and less pile, we could be there ourselves, competing in The Sochi Edition of the Olympic Games.

But, not me.

I know why I’m not there.

Top 10 Reasons I’m Not In The Winter Olympics

#10.  I forgot to get my pink eye vaccination.

#9.  My skis broke when I tried to cram them into my carry-on bag.

#8.  I couldn’t figure out where to plug in my curling iron for the curling competition

#7.  I’m cold even during the summer.

#6.  I thought Sochi was a city in Japan.

#5.  I get dizzy trying to spell “biathlon” correctly.

#4.  The humidity turned my hair into a Yeti.

#3.  Apparently, holding onto the wall is not allowed to be the primary part of your figure skating routine.

#2.  White is not slimming.

#1.  I can’t stop giggling whenever someone says “luge.”

Maybe I’ll go for the 2016 team and head to the Rio Games.  Lots warmer there.

Plus, I hear they don’t have wolves roaming their hotel halls, either.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Why aren’t you at the Sochi Games?  What’s your favorite Olympic sport to watch?  If you could compete in any sport at the Olympics, which would you pick?

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Post-Super Bowl Monday

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Post-Super Bowl Monday

by Gina Valley

Super Bowl Sunday is fun and exciting.  It’s full of cheering and eating and drinking.

Super Bowl Monday is not.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Post-Super Bowl Monday Football Party

In fact the day after the Super Bowl is really Not So Super Monday.  All of that reveling and lack of sleep come back to haunt us, or at least make our heads hurt like heck.  It’s not a fun day.

The best way to celebrate Not So Super Monday is to pull the covers back over your head and sleep all day in the dark.  I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of trouble doing that at my desk.

So, skipping work on Not So Super Monday is an attractive idea.  Judging by the more than 7 million people who missed work the day after the Super Bowl last year, I’m the not only one who thinks so.

Perhaps, you’d like to join the crowd celebrating Not So Super Monday in the orthodox stay-home-and-sleep-all-day way, but, with the commonness of the call in sick on Not So Super Monday phenomenon, you know you need a really good excuse.

No problem.  I’ve got your back.  I’m a giver like that.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Not So Super Monday:

#10. Someone unplugged your crockpot, and you’re still waiting for the meatballs to finish cooking.

#9.  You’re still trying to explain to your brother-in-law why XLVIII means 48.

#8.  You tried to gel your hair to stand up like Bruno Mars’ did at half time, and the fire department has declared you a fire hazard and won’t let you to go out in public.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Post-Super Bowl Monday Football Party#7.  You are rechecking your computations to be sure that the 50 million cases of beer supposedly consumed in the US on Super Bowl Sunday does in fact equal more than 5 bottles per adult, and wondering if you were supposed to have 10 since your cousin didn’t have any.

#6.  You have to take your granny to the chiropractor because she threw her back out when she was gawking at the “boys in them thar tight, stretchy pants!” Again.

#5.  You ate the entire bowl of your neighbor’s homemade salsa, and you are not yet prepared to be out of visual contact with the loo and its “Super Bowl.”

#4. The “Why is it called football, when they don’t use their feet?” discussion with your know-it-all cousin from Caracas turned a bit physical after you screamed, “How’s this for using my foot?!?!” And, long story short, you agreed to drive your cousin’s pizza delivery route for him until he can comfortably sit down again.

#3.  You’re still crying because of that Budweiser “A Hero’s Welcome” commercial, and welcoming Lt. Chuck Nadd home.

#2.  All those flashing lights at halftime hypnotized you, and every time someone says “football” you cluck like a chicken, so you’re going to be in therapy all day.

#1.  You pulled a hamstring diving for the last hot wing, and you can’t get out of your recliner.

Let me know if you need a note.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Did you Super Bowl it this week?  Did you have a favorite commercial?  What was your favorite snack?  Or, did you do something else you enjoyed this weekend?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Signs You’re A Soccer Zombie

Top 10 Signs You’re  A Soccer Zombie

by Gina Valley

We’ve all seen them.

Poised in a collapsible chair. Eyes glazed.  Drool threatening to trickle from the corner of their mouths.  Chanting, “Get the ball!  Get the ball!” long after both teams have left the field.

Soccer Zombies.

They started out as normal parents, just like you and me.  But, then that truncated icosahedron (that’s fancy math talk for “soccer ball”) came into their life, took over their schedule, and sucked out their brains.

Are you one of them?  Sometimes I think I might be.

Top 10 Signs You’re  A Soccer Zombie:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’re  A Soccer Zombie#10.  When your alarm goes off at 5AM on Saturday morning, you drop kick it into the neighbors tree, then drive to the Starbucks drive-thru, and over to the soccer fields, all without opening your eyes.  Nor, remembering to bring your child.

#9.  You run around giving all the doctors and nurses high fives, while chanting, “Good game! Good game!” after your physical.

#8.  You tell your waiter that you’ll have to pull him back to the defensive line if he doesn’t get more aggressive about scoring you some fried mozzarella sticks.

#7.  When you pull into your driveway you take out your folding chairs, line them up in a row, sit down, and holler, “Get the ball!!!”  at every kid that walks by.

#6.  You ask, “Who brought the oranges?” when there’s a break in the middle of your marketing meeting.

#5.  You slide tackle that guy who’s always taking too long at the office copier.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’re  A Soccer Zombie#4.  You scream “Off-sides!” when one of your children sits in your chair at the dinner table.

#3.  As you pass the watermelon display at the supermarket you holler, “Don’t use your hands!!!” at a little old lady who’s picking out a melon.

#2.  You yell, “Red card!” at the moron who zips in front of you, and snags the parking space you were waiting for in the Whole Foods parking lot.

#1.  You use your feet to dribble the pot roast to the table for dinner.

There is no cure for Soccer Zombie-ness, but symptoms are often alleviated in the spring.

With the start of baseball season.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are you or a loved one a soccer-zombie?  Are you some other kids-extra-curricular-activity zombie?  How do you treat your symptoms?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

 

Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites

Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

My pack and I are traveling, visiting family, and just hanging out and giggling together this week.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites Soccer Sports Spectators Eavesdropping As I have planned to be busy being unbusy and unplanned, I’ve gone through my posts and queued up favorites to keep you in giggles while I’m hanging with my pack.

I hope you enjoy this Gina’s Favorites.

And, I hope you stop and take time to hang out with and laugh with your loved ones, too.

Thank you for reading and sharing.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Today’s Gina’s Favorites post is my You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience! post.   You can read my You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience! post below in its entirety, or, for you hardcore readers, click on one of these magic links to read my You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience! post in its original location.

Either way, I’ll meet you at You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience!.  You bring the s’mores.  I’ll bring the laughs.

You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience!

I believe it is time for some honesty in parenting.

We do a lot of things for our kids.  Uncountable things.   Infinitely many actions on their behalf.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites Soccer Sports Spectators Eavesdropping And, also for our kids, we don’t do a lot of things.  Things that would not be in their best interest.  Like the things I think of when they have just used gravel to “wash” my new car.  Again.

But one of the most misunderstood things we do is sign them up for soccer.

Yes, exercise is good for my kids.  But, that’s not why I sign them up for soccer.

Yes, they make new friends and get to know the old ones better.  But, that’s not why I sign them up for soccer.

Yes, being a team member teaches them valuable life lessons about working together, sportsmanship, and the rewards of hard work.   Yada. Yada. Yada.   But, that’s not why I sign them up for soccer.

I also do not sign them up for soccer so I can schmooze with my friends on the sideline or to tie up all my free time so I don’t end up joining a street gang, although both of those are side effects of the whole youth soccer experience.

No, I sign them up for soccer for one reason and that one reason alone.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites Soccer Sports Spectators Eavesdropping To eavesdrop on strangers.

That’s right.  While I am sitting there on the sideline, cheering them on during a game or just watching a practice, my ears are peeled.  And, yours are, too.  Don’t try to deny it.

But, today’s eavesdropping experience was ruined by Mr. Cheese.

I don’t know if that’s his real name, but it should be because Mr. Cheese talked non-stop about cheese.

He started his cheese evangelism with the woman sitting to his right. When she faked death to escape the conversation he focused his cheese-aganda on the man to his left, who clearly wished he’d heeded the warning signs of the ever more distant herd of migrating spectator chairs around him.  Certainly at this point he wished that he too had made a subtle shift to the positioning of his collapsible chair. Subtle as in moved it to the next county or at least to the opponents’ side of the field (like they don’t have their own Mr. Cheese).

After the first 10 minutes of this ever flowing, live, cheese documentary I assumed it would be right in the eyes of the law for me to knock him out.  After another 10 minutes I assumed the law would require it.  By the end of the first quarter people around me were starting to gather with pitchforks and torches.  Well, it was really the torch app on their iPhones, but it was still quite menacing, nonetheless.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites Soccer Sports Spectators Eavesdropping I have nothing against cheese.  I like cheese as much as the average person does.  I eat cheese.  I cook with cheese.  But, cheese is not my life.  Cheese is a part of my life.  A very small part.  Even mice prefer some peanut butter once in a while.  But, I’m pretty sure this guy was living a cheese-centric life.

He talked about cheese through the entire game.  I was surprised he didn’t rush out onto the field during halftime to do a cheese cheer or to march around and make cheese shapes like a marching band.

If you are going to talk about cheese that much, you better be holding a platter of cheese and a big bottle of excellent wine to share with the people around you.

He had no cheese.  He had no wine.  He was over the cheese etiquette line.

And, the worst part of it?

By the end of the game, I was craving a grilled cheese sandwich so badly that I would have knocked down a toddler to get it!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Got cheese?  Have you had lunch?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about what you’re hearing all about!