Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday
by Gina Valley
Super Bowl Sunday is all fun, frolic, and food. It’s full of cheering and eating and drinking. And, some football.
The Monday after, on the other hand, not so much.
Let’s face it, the day after Super Bowl Sunday is really Not-So-Super Monday.
Not-So-Super Monday is the ugly twin to Super Bowl Sunday. It’s filled with exhaustion, upset stomachs, and headaches. It’s not a super day.
The orthodox way to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday is to burrow deep under the covers, and sleep all day in the dark. Not an easy thing to do in your cubicle at work.
This year alone, it’s estimated nearly 7 million people will stay home from work to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday.
Perhaps, you’d like to join in on this Monday morning after-party party, but you’re way too tired from running back and forth to the kitchen for more hot wings to come up with a great excuse to give your boss.
No problem. I’ve got your back.
Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday:
#10. You’re still waiting for the avocados to ripen, so you can make guacamole.
#9. You have to take Great Aunt Bessie to the chiropractor because she threw her back out while she was gawking at the “boys in them thar tight, stretchy pants!” Again.
#8. You have to wait around for the plumber to show up, because, apparently, your college roommate’s research into “Whether One Can Successfully Flush A 40 ounce” is still on-going.
#7. You smacked you head on the patio table when you tried to “fly” like Jonathan Stewart did when he snagged that touch down by propelling himself over the pile of players stacked up on the goal line, so you aren’t allowed to drive or think for at least a week.
#6. You’re rechecking your computations to be sure the 50 million cases of beer supposedly consumed in the US on Super Bowl Sunday does in fact equal more than 5 bottles per adult, and wondering if you were supposed to have 10 since your neighbor didn’t have any.
#5. Your cat is a huge Carolina Panthers fan, so you can’t possibly leave her home alone at a time like this.
#4. The “Why is it called football when they don’t use their feet?” discussion with your know-it-all cousin from Caracas turned a bit physical after you screamed, “How’s this for using my foot?!?!” And, long story short, you agreed to drive your cousin’s pizza delivery route for him until he can comfortably sit down again.
#3. You were up all night having nightmares about that puppymonkeybaby in the Mountain Dew commercial. What the heck, Mountain Dew? What the heck?!?!
#2. All those giant flowers in the halftime show set off your allergies, and you’re out of Benadryl.
#1. You tried a bottle of your brother’s bathtub brew, and you’re not yet prepared to be out of visual contact with the loo and its “Super Bowl.”
I’ll be happy to write you a note for the week.
Laugh Out Loud!
Did you watch the Broncos and the Panthers gridiron battle? Which was your favorite commercial? What’s your favorite snack? Or, did you do something else you enjoyed this weekend? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.Photo courtesy of Dreamstime.com – Used with permission.