Top 10 Reasons To Hate Silent Saturday

Top 10 Reasons To Hate Silent Saturday

by Gina Valley

Today was Silent Saturday on the soccer fields.

It’s also known as All The Parents Complaining About Not Getting To Cheer For Their Kids Day. I noticed some grandparents getting in on that, too.

In case you aren’t familiar with the Silent Saturday Movement, just think of it as a kind of glorified time-out for the over-zealous (i.e. people behaving like jerks) at youth soccer games.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons To Hate Silent SaturdayDuring Silent Saturday no one (not parents nor grandparents nor coaches nor spectators) is allowed to yell or say anything (positive or negative) to the players during the games. No whooping. No hollering. No sound of any kind is allowed, other than clapping.

I’m all for helping people curb their negativity and protecting kids from helicopter parenting, but this Silent Saturday thing is not working out for me.  My friend, Pesky Pippi, put it well when she said, “I HATE Silent Saturday!”  I’m with Pippi.

In theory, Silent Saturday should create an environment similar to that which children experienced before organized sports took over all their informal neighborhood games. The idea was for kids to play without worrying about what adults thought about their game. The initial plan was for this to recreate the freedom kids have to play without adults around.

In reality, Silent Saturday makes people go insane.

Top 10 Reasons I Hate Silent Saturday

#10. It causes confusion. The quiet clapping after plays sounds like golf, and I keep looking for Tiger Woods.  Or, Happy Gilmore.  Someone.

#9. It causes blindness. We were encouraged to make signs to hold up during the game, in lieu of hollering our good sentiments. My children used our signs to engage in physical attacks upon one another while they “watched” their brother’s game.  Nobody lost an eye, but they might have, if the game had gone into overtime.

#8. It encourages tattooing. Not only did my kids take time out from making our cheer signs for Silent Saturday to draw mustaches on each other and on our blonde dog, they also drew faces on each of The Professor’s toes while he dozed on the sofa (he can sleep through anything, obviously), and an alien on their teenage sister’s knee (see? Napping is a bad idea, teenagers).  The discovery of their handy work resulted in Frantic Friday in our home. And, since we were using permanent markers, all of their creations lasted well beyond Silent Saturday.

#7. It promotes illicit drug use. The people along the sidelines mumbling to themselves what they would normally be hollering sound like a bunch of addicts. Or, zombies. It isn’t good.

#6. It encourages Facebook bullying. I love to cheer for the kids, mine and everyone else’s. I get that there are some people who are morons and need to shut up. But, if we can’t talk directly to them, you know, like adults, someone will end up bashing them on Facebook or talking behind their backs at Starbucks. We don’t need to encourage that.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons To Hate Silent Saturday

#5. It makes kids lose faith in their parents. Without the parents hollering at one another, how are we parents, who are busy chatting with one another, supposed to know when our kid scores?  All the players are dressed alike. It’s a mob in front of that goal. We all need that one eagle-eyed parent to holler out the shooter’s name, so we can tell our kids, “Of course, I saw your goal.”

#4. It makes kids join gangs. The quiet conditions cause the players to forget they’re allowed to talk to each other during the game. So, they tend to communicate by using all sorts of weird hand gestures that look like a cross between gang signing and giving the bird.

#3. It produces boredom. How are we supposed to giggle about Timmy’s “mom” using his name at the beginning and end of every sentence if she isn’t allowed to talk? We’ll miss “Timmy, do you want water, Timmy?” “Timmy, are you hungry, Timmy?” “Timmy, get the ball, Timmy!” “Timmy, why are you pretending you don’t know me, Timmy?”  By the way, Timmy is her husband.

#2. It teaches kids to take candy from strangers. The refs tossed candy to kids along the sidelines when their parents remain silent. So, if you obey the edict and sit there quietly, you are punished because a stranger gives your kid candy, and then you get to deal with a toddler on a sugar high. While remaining silent.  Of course.  In keeping with the day’s theme.

#1. It makes communists attempt world domination. By the time I get home after a day of Silent Saturday, I need to yell at someone. I’m guessing everyone else at Silent Saturday has some pent up aggression, too. I’m not sure, but I think that Russia had a Silent Saturday at their soccer games right before Putin decided to invade the whole world.  Not sayin’ that’s why he did it, just pointing it out.

Let’s all say “No!” to Silent Saturday.

Or, “Nyet!”

Quietly, though.

I don’t want to get kicked off of the field.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have you taken part in Silent Saturday? Do you think Duct Tape Day might be more effective? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil…Gina’s Favorites

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

And, so it begins.

Youth soccer season kicked off this week.

We’ve already enjoyed the panic of missing cleats, insanity of shuttling kids between 4 different practices, and a trial run to the closest emergency room. And, they haven’t even played their first game yet.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil...Gina's Favorites SportsJoin me in the madness with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil

Youth soccer is the root of all evil.

It seems like the perfect children’s sport.

Everyone can play.  The rules are simple.  Only basic equipment is necessary.

What a lovely way to spend an afternoon bonding with your family.

Except it’s so not.

Having had children participate for the past decade, with many more years still to come, I can tell you authoritatively that youth soccer is, in fact, the portal to evil.

We suckers, I mean parents, sign our kids up for what we think will be a relaxing once a week contest among friends.  We don’t realize until it’s too late that we’ve joined an insidious cult.

The fact that soccer makes us rise earlier than the hockey families on Saturday morning should have been a clue that foul play was amiss.  But, blurry-eyed and sleep-deprived such as we are, we missed it.

Before we knew what was happening we’re handed a stack of schedules:  snack schedule, picture schedule, paint the field schedule, clean out some random guys garage schedule.

We’re given misspelled names to game locations on 4 different continents, and told to MapQuest them.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil...Gina's Favorites SportsWe get a bill for coaches’ gifts, a team banner, practice shirts, and someone’s new car.

It all works together to set our heads spinning before the games even start.

Basically, it’s just a simple ruse on the part of the children’s union to bring us parents into submission.

And it’s working, too.

It’s so much easier for kids to control sleep-deprived, sun-stroked, Goldfish-cracker-fed parents. The complex details and extensive sun exposure rapidly turn our brains to mush. Gibberish becomes our first language.

They’ve got us to not only let them, but to encourage them to run through mud puddles, push people, kick things, gulp Gatorade, snarf Oreos, and scream at their friends, all in the name of getting some quality exercise and good clean fun.

Just yesterday I heard myself say to one of my littles, “You can skip your chores, just please leave your uniform outside, and get into the shower. Quickly.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil...Gina's Favorites SportsEight hours into today’s marathon session I heard myself whine, “I just want some candy. Does anyone have any candy?!?!”

After returning home from another full day of Soccer Mom-ing, I bargained with one of my tiny teamsters, “I’m exhausted. I don’t care what you what you do. Just let me sleep. For the love of all that’s holy, let me sleep!” Every electronic, screen-outfitted item in our house shuddered, preparing for the onslaught.

And, no, they did not let me sleep.

Maybe I can doze during half-time tomorrow.  After my shift at the snack bar.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Has your family joined the youth soccer cult?  Was I supposed to bring snacks this week? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Reasons I Hate Silent Saturday

Top 10 Reasons I Hate Silent Saturday

by Gina Valley

Saturday was Silent Saturday on the soccer fields.

It’s also known as Aneurisms All Around Day.

In case you aren’t familiar with the Silent Saturday Movement, just think of it as a kind of glorified time-out for the over-zealous (i.e. people behaving like jerks) at youth soccer games.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons I Hate Silent Saturday Soccer

During Silent Saturday no one (not parents nor coaches nor spectators) is allowed to yell or say anything (positive or negative) to the players during the games. No whooping. No hollering. No sound of any kind is allowed, other than clapping.

I’m all for helping people curb their negativity and protecting kids from helicopter parenting, but this Silent Saturday thing is not working out for me.  My friend, Pesky Pippi, put it well when she said, “I HATE Silent Saturday!”  I’m with Pippi.

In theory, Silent Saturday should create an environment similar to that which children experienced before organized sports took over all their informal neighborhood games.

In reality, Silent Saturday makes people go insane.

Top 10 Reasons I Hate Silent Saturday

#10. It causes confusion. The quiet clapping after plays sounds like golf, and I keep looking for Tiger Woods.  Or, Happy Gilmore.  Someone.

#9. It causes blindness. We were encouraged to make signs to hold up during the game, in lieu of hollering our good sentiments. My children used our signs to engage in physical attacks upon one another while they “watched” their brother’s game.  Nobody lost an eye, but they might have, if the game had gone into overtime.

#8. It encourages tattooing. Not only did my kids take time out from making our cheer signs for Silent Saturday to draw mustaches on each other and on our blonde dog, they also drew faces on each of The Professor’s toes while he dozed on the sofa (he can sleep through anything, obviously), and an alien on their teenage sister’s knee (see? Napping is a bad idea, teenagers).  The discovery of their handy work resulted in Frantic Friday in our home. And, since we were using permanent markers, all of their creations lasted well beyond Silent Saturday.

#7. It encourages illicit drug use. The people along the sidelines mumbling to themselves what they would normally be hollering sound like a bunch of addicts. Or, zombies. It isn’t good.

#6. It encourages Facebook bullying. I love to cheer for the kids, mine and everyone else’s. I get that there are some people who are morons and need to shut up. But, if we can’t talk directly to them, you know, like adults, we’ll end up bashing them on Facebook or talking behind their backs at Starbucks. That always gets people to change their behavior. Not.

#5. It makes kids lose faith in their parents. Without the parents hollering at one another, how are we parents, who are busy chatting with one another, supposed to know when our kid scores?  All the players are dressed alike. It’s a mob in front of that goal. We all need that one eagle-eyed parent to holler out the shooter’s name, so we can tell our kids, “Of course, I saw your goal.”

#4. It makes kids join gangs. The players forget they’re allowed to talk to each other during the game, and instead use all sorts of weird hand gestures that look like a cross between gang signing and giving the bird.

#3. It produces boredom. How are we supposed to giggle about Timmy’s “mom” using his name at the beginning and end of every sentence if she isn’t allowed to talk? We’ll miss “Timmy, do you want water, Timmy?” “Timmy, are you hungry, Timmy?” “Timmy, why are you pretending you don’t know me, Timmy?”  By the way, Timmy is her husband.

#2. It teaches kids to take candy from strangers. The refs tossed candy to kids along the sidelines when their parents remained silent. So, if you obey the edict and sit there quietly, you are punished because a stranger gives your kid candy, and then you get to deal with a toddler on a sugar high. While remaining silent.  Of course.  In keeping with the day’s theme.

#1. It makes communists attempt world domination. By the time I get home after a day of Silent Saturday, I need to yell at someone. I’m guessing everyone else at Silent Saturday has some pent up aggression, too. I’m not sure, but I think that Russia had a Silent Saturday at their soccer games right before Putin decided to invade the whole world.  Not sayin’ that’s why he did it, just pointing it out.

Let’s all say “No!” to Silent Saturday.

Quietly, though.

I don’t want to get kicked off of the field.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have you taken part in Silent Saturday? Do you think Duct Tape Day might be more effective? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

I’m wondering…

I’m wondering…

by Gina Valley

Poem Poetry Trees Humor Funny Humorous Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Kid Kids Child Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Grandpa Grandma Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Gina Valley Parenting Stillness Sunday I’m wondering Life Decisions Sports
Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Green

Breathe deep, my soul.

Bask in Beauty.

Soak in Light.

Grow in forgiveness.

Live in Love.

Breathe deep.

-gina valley

 

We lived on the soccer fields this weekend (and in the car, but that’s another column).  There’re more games to go this afternoon and tomorrow evening.

I love watching my kids play.  I love to see the joy, and determination they get.  I love to see them tear full speed down the field, and focus on blocking an opponent.  I love to hear them working out strategy with their teammates.

Not everyone is made to play soccer, but my kids are.  They love all sports, but they’re truly, obviously, in their element when they don their cleats and shin guards and charge out to the turf.  I feel God smiling when they do.   This is one of the things they were made to do.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing what I was made to do.   And, if I am, am I going about it the right way?  Am I playing the game I’m meant to?  Am I on the right field?   Am I in the right position?

As I watch my kids play, I wonder.

I want to know I’m on my game, so I know that I’m giving them a good example.   We all get just the one life to live.  I want to make sure I teach my littles to find they game they’re meant for, and to give it all they’ve got, and to know it’s the right one.

I want that for them, even more than I want it for me.

Love!

-gina

How about you?   How do you know you’re in the game you should be?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing what you think.

Top 10 Signs You’re A Soccer Zombie

Top 10 Signs You’re  A Soccer Zombie

by Gina Valley

We’ve all seen them.

Poised in a collapsible chair. Eyes glazed.  Drool threatening to trickle from the corner of their mouths.  Chanting, “Get the ball!  Get the ball!” long after both teams have left the field.

Soccer Zombies.

They started out as normal parents, just like you and me.  But, then that truncated icosahedron (that’s fancy math talk for “soccer ball”) came into their life, took over their schedule, and sucked out their brains.

Are you one of them?  Sometimes I think I might be.

Top 10 Signs You’re  A Soccer Zombie:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’re  A Soccer Zombie#10.  When your alarm goes off at 5AM on Saturday morning, you drop kick it into the neighbors tree, then drive to the Starbucks drive-thru, and over to the soccer fields, all without opening your eyes.  Nor, remembering to bring your child.

#9.  You run around giving all the doctors and nurses high fives, while chanting, “Good game! Good game!” after your physical.

#8.  You tell your waiter that you’ll have to pull him back to the defensive line if he doesn’t get more aggressive about scoring you some fried mozzarella sticks.

#7.  When you pull into your driveway you take out your folding chairs, line them up in a row, sit down, and holler, “Get the ball!!!”  at every kid that walks by.

#6.  You ask, “Who brought the oranges?” when there’s a break in the middle of your marketing meeting.

#5.  You slide tackle that guy who’s always taking too long at the office copier.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’re  A Soccer Zombie#4.  You scream “Off-sides!” when one of your children sits in your chair at the dinner table.

#3.  As you pass the watermelon display at the supermarket you holler, “Don’t use your hands!!!” at a little old lady who’s picking out a melon.

#2.  You yell, “Red card!” at the moron who zips in front of you, and snags the parking space you were waiting for in the Whole Foods parking lot.

#1.  You use your feet to dribble the pot roast to the table for dinner.

There is no cure for Soccer Zombie-ness, but symptoms are often alleviated in the spring.

With the start of baseball season.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are you or a loved one a soccer-zombie?  Are you some other kids-extra-curricular-activity zombie?  How do you treat your symptoms?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

 

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil

by Gina Valley

Youth soccer is the root of all evil.

It seems like the perfect children’s sport.

Everyone can play.  The rules are simple.  Only basic equipment is necessary.

What a lovely way to spend an afternoon bonding with your family.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil Except it’s so not.

Having had children participate for the past decade, with many more years still to come, I can tell you authoritatively that youth soccer is, in fact, the portal to evil.

We suckers, I mean parents, sign our kids up for what we think will be a relaxing once a week contest among friends.  We don’t realize until it’s too late that we’ve joined an insidious cult.

The fact that soccer makes us rise earlier than the hockey families on Saturday morning should have been a clue that foul play was amiss.  But, blurry-eyed and sleep-deprived such as we are, we missed it.

Before we knew what was happening we’re handed a stack of schedules:  snack schedule, picture schedule, paint the field schedule, clean out some random guys garage schedule.

We’re given misspelled names to game locations on 4 different continents, and told to MapQuest them.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil

We got a bill for coaches’ gifts, a team banner, practice shirts, and someone’s new car.

It all worked together to set our heads spinning before the games even start.

Basically, it’s just a simple ruse on the part of the children’s union to bring us parents into submission.

And it’s working, too.

It’s so much easier for kids to control sleep-deprived, sun-stroked, Goldfish-cracker-fed parents.  The complex details and extensive sun exposure rapidly turn our brains to mush.   Gibberish becomes our first language.

They’ve got us to not only let them, but to encourage them to run through mud puddles, push people, kick things, gulp Gatorade, snarf Oreos, and scream at their friends, all in the name of getting some quality exercise and good clean fun.

Just yesterday I heard myself say to one of my littles, “You can skip your chores, just please leave your uniform outside, and get into the shower.  Quickly.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil Eight hours into today’s marathon session I heard myself say, “I just want some candy. Does anyone have any candy?”

After returning home from another full day of Soccer Mom-ing, I bargained with one of my tiny teamsters, “I’m exhausted.  I don’t care what you what you do.  Just let me sleep.  For the love of all that’s holy, let me sleep!”  Every electronic, screen-outfitted item in our house shuddered, preparing for the onslaught.

And, no, they did not let me sleep.

Maybe I can doze during half-time tomorrow.  After my shift at the snack bar.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Has your family joined the youth soccer cult?  Was I supposed to bring snacks this week?    Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Is It Hot In Here?

Is It Hot In Here?

by Gina Valley

Sometimes it takes a kid to clarify your priorities.

Today was opening day for Fall Soccer, so we were out at my pack’s soccer games from 7:30AM until 2:30PM.  An unarguably long day, even without the ghastly heat. With the heat, it felt like an eternity.

It felt longer than waiting for the new season of Psych to start.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is It Hot In Here? Heat Hot Weather Sports SoccerAt the hottest point of the day, it was 104 degrees F on the soccer field while Daughter#3’s All-Star Team (I hate that they call them that, but that’s a topic for another column) played the All-Star Team from a neighboring county.

As I sat there watching the darling girls from these 2 powerhouse teams push, shove, and generally try to stomp the heck out of each other, I wondered how long it was going to take me to turn from adoring mom, proudly cheering for my little, to a pile of mulch.  I was pretty sure the heat and the humidity were starting that whole dust-to-dust thing on me even as I sat in my foldable chair.

Son#4 lucked out with his team drawing the earliest morning time slot.  He didn’t feel lucky when I woke him up at 6:15AM, and told him to be in the car in 10 minutes.  I know he didn’t because I asked him, “Do you feel lucky, kid?” and he threw his pillow at me.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is It Hot In Here? Heat Hot Weather Sports SoccerBut, huddling under our E-Z Up Shade (the jumbo 12’x12’ one.  We take our shade seriously) during his sister’s 104 degree F game, remembering the near chilly 85 degrees F of his early morning game, Son#4 did indeed seem to begin to feel a bit lucky.  Or, maybe he was just hopped up on sugar because he’d been given a postgame snack by the team parent of every team his siblings played on all day long.

I, however, did not.

And, much as I hate to admit this, by the 2nd half of the 3rd soccer game, as I sat there melting, I remember distinctly thinking an unthinkable thought for any soccer parent.

I didn’t want to watch any more soccer.

And, not just today.  Ever.

No more off-side’s or spread out’s or get the ball’s.

No more where is my cleat or do you have my jersey or I forgot my water jug.

Basically, I was hot.  I was tired.  I was sweaty.   And, I wanted to go home.

Just as I was leaning toward giving in to my desire to dash to our van, blast the AC, and bolt home for iced tea and a nap, a couple kids behind us caught my attention.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is It Hot In Here? Heat Hot Weather Sports Soccer

They were waiting for Son#4’s team’s game to finish, so that their game could start.  It was obvious that the longer they waited, the more the heat and humidity were draining their spirits.

They began to mumble and grumble and groan.  At one point one of the kids said to the other, “I’m hot and tired and sweaty and I want to go home!”  I nearly cheered for him.  He was feeling my pain.

But, as so often is true in this life, the child next to him put it all back into perspective.  All of the early rising, all of the heat, all of the sticking to the fold up chairs were just tiny inconveniences on the road to what is truly important to children, to all of us.

This child, this pint-sized orb of wisdom explained it perfectly, “All we’ve got to do is get through this game, and it’s ‘Lamppost Pizza – here we come!’”

I was humbled by his insight.

And, I wondered if he’d think it was ok for me to stop for iced tea on the way to the pizza place.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Is it hot, or is it just me?  Are you still feeling the summer weather or have you slipped into the briskness of fall?  Which do you prefer?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Goooooalll!

Goooooalll!

by Gina Valley

Fall soccer kicks into full gear this weekend (pun was not intended, but, you have to admit, quite apropos!).

My pack is on 4 different soccer teams, so it won’t be quite as difficult as the year when they were spread out on 6.  But, challenges have already presented themselves.  They always do.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Goooooalll! Soccer Fairy DisorganizationThree of their teams have practice at nearly the same time at three different locations.  Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to coordinate a major troop movement just trying to make sure they’re all delivered on time and collected promptly afterward.

I actually forgot to pick up Daughter#3 from one of her practices last week.

Don’t tell her.

We were sitting down to dinner when someone asked where she was.  I made a mad dash to the soccer field to get her.  She assumed I was just running late.  Fortunately, she’s pretty easy going about that kind of thing.  Just another reason I always insist they keep extra snacks and water bottles in their soccer bags!

But, the challenge of scheduling is nothing compared to dealing with our ever present nemesis – The Soccer Fairy.  The good ole’ SF continues to confound us by hiding equipment as she (or he, still not sure) has every soccer season.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Goooooalll! Soccer Fairy Disorganization

So, I figured my What Just Bounced Off Of My Head? post would be perfect for Throwback Day this week.

You can read my What Just Bounced Off Of My Head? post below in its entirety, or, for you hardcore readers, you can click on one of these magic links to read my What Just Bounced Off Of My Head? post in its original location.

Either way, I’ll meet you at What Just Bounced Off Of My Head?.  You bring the iced tea (man, it was hot today!).  I’ll bring the laughs.

What Just Bounced Off Of My Head?

Each of my kids is completely unique (“unique” is one of Son#3’s vocabulary words this week.  Just thought you might want to know) in both personality and extracurricular activities.  

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Goooooalll! Soccer Fairy Disorganization

Art, photography, crafts, drama, singing, dance, and nearly every sport.  Basketball to lacrosse to volleyball and every sport in between – their favorite sports run the sporting world gamut.

But, my whole pack has one thing in common.  They all love soccer.  From the time they could crawl, each and every one of them chased after that ball.

And, somehow, despite my complete lack of coordination (I’ve fallen just watching them play) they are all gifted players.  I guess I’ll have to wait and see how their kids play to know whether that’s because soccer skills skip a generation or because mixing two scientists who met in the marching band spontaneously creates amazing soccer skills in their children.

Either way, my pack is filled with soccer players who excel in every area of the game, except one:  they can’t keep track of their soccer stuff.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Goooooalll! Soccer Fairy DisorganizationI have lost count of the number of shin guards I’ve purchased because someone could only locate one, which, for you non-soccer people let me just say really doesn’t work out well.

We’ve had cleats disappear never to be seen again before they even went to their first game.

And the uniforms!  Socks and shorts are forever disappearing.  The amount I’ve spent replacing them could have paid for our own private soccer field several times over.

But, the disappearing jerseys are the worst.  I can’t replace those.  Not a week goes by that some pack member isn’t close to a nervous breakdown because of a missing jersey.

I used to think all this stress was the result of my pack being somewhat disorganized and perhaps a bit lazy with keeping track of their stuff.  But, after years of observing the continual problem, I came to realize this phenomenon was something beyond the capacity of mere children.  There had to be another explanation.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Goooooalll! Soccer Fairy DisorganizationSomething more powerful, more magical, more devious than mere children had to be behind this constant confounding.  A few years ago I realized what it was.

It’s the Soccer Fairy.

Clearly, the Soccer Fairy sneaks into our house and hides my pack’s stuff.  It’s the only logical explanation.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Any fairies keeping your life interesting?  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.  Shoot me a comment with the details.

Check out my Struck By The Soccer Fairy…Again  post for more soccer-based laughs.

As always, the extra click to get there counts as cardio.

Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites

Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

My pack and I are traveling, visiting family, and just hanging out and giggling together this week.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites Soccer Sports Spectators Eavesdropping As I have planned to be busy being unbusy and unplanned, I’ve gone through my posts and queued up favorites to keep you in giggles while I’m hanging with my pack.

I hope you enjoy this Gina’s Favorites.

And, I hope you stop and take time to hang out with and laugh with your loved ones, too.

Thank you for reading and sharing.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Today’s Gina’s Favorites post is my You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience! post.   You can read my You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience! post below in its entirety, or, for you hardcore readers, click on one of these magic links to read my You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience! post in its original location.

Either way, I’ll meet you at You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience!.  You bring the s’mores.  I’ll bring the laughs.

You Are RUINING My Eavesdropping Experience!

I believe it is time for some honesty in parenting.

We do a lot of things for our kids.  Uncountable things.   Infinitely many actions on their behalf.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites Soccer Sports Spectators Eavesdropping And, also for our kids, we don’t do a lot of things.  Things that would not be in their best interest.  Like the things I think of when they have just used gravel to “wash” my new car.  Again.

But one of the most misunderstood things we do is sign them up for soccer.

Yes, exercise is good for my kids.  But, that’s not why I sign them up for soccer.

Yes, they make new friends and get to know the old ones better.  But, that’s not why I sign them up for soccer.

Yes, being a team member teaches them valuable life lessons about working together, sportsmanship, and the rewards of hard work.   Yada. Yada. Yada.   But, that’s not why I sign them up for soccer.

I also do not sign them up for soccer so I can schmooze with my friends on the sideline or to tie up all my free time so I don’t end up joining a street gang, although both of those are side effects of the whole youth soccer experience.

No, I sign them up for soccer for one reason and that one reason alone.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites Soccer Sports Spectators Eavesdropping To eavesdrop on strangers.

That’s right.  While I am sitting there on the sideline, cheering them on during a game or just watching a practice, my ears are peeled.  And, yours are, too.  Don’t try to deny it.

But, today’s eavesdropping experience was ruined by Mr. Cheese.

I don’t know if that’s his real name, but it should be because Mr. Cheese talked non-stop about cheese.

He started his cheese evangelism with the woman sitting to his right. When she faked death to escape the conversation he focused his cheese-aganda on the man to his left, who clearly wished he’d heeded the warning signs of the ever more distant herd of migrating spectator chairs around him.  Certainly at this point he wished that he too had made a subtle shift to the positioning of his collapsible chair. Subtle as in moved it to the next county or at least to the opponents’ side of the field (like they don’t have their own Mr. Cheese).

After the first 10 minutes of this ever flowing, live, cheese documentary I assumed it would be right in the eyes of the law for me to knock him out.  After another 10 minutes I assumed the law would require it.  By the end of the first quarter people around me were starting to gather with pitchforks and torches.  Well, it was really the torch app on their iPhones, but it was still quite menacing, nonetheless.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Why I Can’t Be In The CIA…Gina’s Favorites Soccer Sports Spectators Eavesdropping I have nothing against cheese.  I like cheese as much as the average person does.  I eat cheese.  I cook with cheese.  But, cheese is not my life.  Cheese is a part of my life.  A very small part.  Even mice prefer some peanut butter once in a while.  But, I’m pretty sure this guy was living a cheese-centric life.

He talked about cheese through the entire game.  I was surprised he didn’t rush out onto the field during halftime to do a cheese cheer or to march around and make cheese shapes like a marching band.

If you are going to talk about cheese that much, you better be holding a platter of cheese and a big bottle of excellent wine to share with the people around you.

He had no cheese.  He had no wine.  He was over the cheese etiquette line.

And, the worst part of it?

By the end of the game, I was craving a grilled cheese sandwich so badly that I would have knocked down a toddler to get it!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Got cheese?  Have you had lunch?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about what you’re hearing all about!

I Am Wondering Woman

I Am Wondering Woman

Youth football plays its last game for the winter season soon.  I’m trying to wrap coaches’ gifts, and I’m wondering where the tape is.

I am Wondering Woman.

I’m also wondering where I put the forms for spring soccer.

Ahhh – the never ending carousel that is youth sports.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Wondering Woman Youth Sports Cheese Throwback DayBetween soccer, dance, football, basketball, La Crosse, karate, and gymnastics there’s always a form to fill out, a check to write, a practice we’re late to, an AWOL uniform to be found, and at least 3 events at the same time in 3 different locations to attend.

Sometimes all the rushing around makes me wonder why we do all of this in the first place.

So, for Throwback day this week I think it’s a good idea, no, a great idea to visit my You Are Ruining My Eavesdropping Experience  post because it answers the question every parent asks themselves at least occasionally, “Why did we sign up for this?”

Here’s a snippet from the middle of You Are Ruining My Eavesdropping Experience:

…I don’t know if that’s his real name, but it should be because Mr. Cheese talked non-stop about cheese.

He started his cheese evangelism with the woman sitting to his right. When she faked death to escape the conversation he focused his cheese-aganda on the man to his left, who clearly wished he’d heeded the warning signs of the ever more distant herd of migrating spectator chairs around him. 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Wondering Woman Youth Sports Cheese Throwback Day

Certainly at this point he wished that he too had made a subtle shift to the positioning of his collapsible chair. Subtle as in moved it to the next county or at least to the opponents’ side of the field (like they don’t have their own Mr. Cheese!).

After the first 10 minutes of this ever flowing, live, cheese documentary I assumed it would be right in the eyes of the law for me to knock him out.  After another 10 minutes I assumed the law would require it.  By the end of the first quarter people around me were starting to gather with pitchforks and torches.  Well, it was really the torch app on their iPhones, but it was still quite menacing, nonetheless ….

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Wondering Woman Youth Sports Cheese Throwback Day.…He talked about cheese through the entire game.  I was surprised he didn’t rush out onto the field during halftime to do a cheese cheer or to march around and make cheese shapes like a marching band.

If you’re going to talk about cheese that much, you better be holding a platter of cheese and a big bottle of excellent wine to share with the people around you.

He had no cheese.  He had no wine.  He was over the cheese etiquette line…

Click on over to You Are Ruining My Eavesdropping Experience  for the rest of the giggles.  I’ll meet you over there.

And, as always, the extra click to get there counts as cardio.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What’s filling your schedule this week?  Heard any good cheese discussions?  What’s the goofiest thing you’ve overheard recently?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Hey, since you’re here, have you clicked that cool box up near the top, on the right. to sign up to get my posts delivered to your email box?  Go for it!  That way you won’t miss a thing.  And, I never give out your email address to anyone else, so there’ll be no spam.

Be sure you’ve liked my Facebook page, too, so you don’t miss out on any late breaking giggles.

And, thanks for reading.  I appreciate you taking time to hang out with me!  Hugs to you!