gina valley

The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom

gina valley - The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom

It’s A Sleep Deprivation Party!!!

It’s A Sleep Deprivation Party!!!

by Gina Valley

One of my kids put herself to bed early last night, because she needed to be up at 7am this morning for the 1st day of summer school. I know it’s shocking to hear of a child willingly going to bed early, but she is one of those rare children who, even as a toddler, would go take a nap when she was tired.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It's A Sleep Deprivation Party!!! ExhaustionFour of my kids had a sleep-over last night. They spent the night flopped down in our family room, giggling and eating tubs of frosting and chips until 5am this morning.

I was too tired to go downstairs, so I couldn’t give them a stare-of-death to inspire quietness. I couldn’t holler at the anti-sleeping-junk-food-snarfing-sleepover kids to go to sleep, because I’d wake up the sleeping-to-prepare-for–summer-school kid., so the giggling continued.

As the world’s lightest sleeper, I didn’t miss a single “Haha!” “Hee hee!” or “LOL!”

Just as the downstairs din dissipated, The Snore Master, also known as my husband, kicked into high gear at 5:01am, rattling our windows and my last nerve. I rolled him over so many times he nearly fell off the bed, but his sonata of snorting continued unimpeded.

The last time I looked at it before I finally dozed off, our clock read 6:55am.

At 7:00am, I was awakened by someone who I, at first, assumed to be someone who wanted to be strangled. But, as my eyes focused, I realized it was actually my husband telling me “good bye” as he headed off to lecture twenty-something’s about all things scientific.

As I stumbled down the hall telling him goodbye & making sure my summer school attendee was conscious and vertical, I noticed that mixed into the pile of sleeping children on our family room floor was our dogs.

Even our dogs were too tired to stand up.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It's A Sleep Deprivation Party!!! Exhaustion

Clearly, 5 minutes sleep is not enough sleep for anyone.

I’m not telling you this so you’ll feel sorry for me. Believe me, I’ve already fired up enough self-pity for myself to last me for the next couple months.

I’m telling you this because somewhere nearby in our quiet, little neighborhood someone is doing something which involves a large piece of construction equipment going back and forth, repeatedly.

And, as large pieces of construction equipment are apt to have, this one has an alarm which, for safety’s sake, beeps while it’s backing up. I’m sure of this because for the last hour and a half this large piece of construction equipment has beeped 10-20 times a minute. Every minute.

So, it’s important I share this information with you, because, if whoever is driving that large piece of construction equipment with the excellent safety-ensuring beeper, continues to do so, I will be stabbing them with a fork, and I’ll need you to read this to the judge at my sentencing hearing.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How do you handle a lack of sleep? Why do they call them “slumber parties” when no one slumbers? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing what you think.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot …Gina’s Favorites

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

For Throwback Day this week, laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot

Bear, our boy puppy, came into our bedroom and barked at me at 3:00AM this morning.  This might not have been quite so jarring had I not been up until 2:00AM waiting for my 17 year old to arrive home from Disneyland.

I can’t sleep when my kids aren’t home. Of course, if last night is any indication, I can’t sleep when they are either.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot ...Gina's Favorites Sleep DeprivationApparently, Bear, our giant pup, was lonely.  He finally settled down about 4:00AM, at which point his sister, Ziva, jump onto our bed. I think she was there to complain about her litter mate being so loud. Then, she remembered how much she likes to bounce on our bed, and proceeded to work on her technique, on and off, for the next hour.

At 5:00AM, our youngest son proved he was right last night when he said that he could get up early, even though he was up 2 hours past his bedtime, by climbing onto our bed to chat.  “Since we’re both awake, mom,” he said, “can you play Colossus on the piano for me again? I forgot how it goes, and I have a test on it during band today.”

I explained to my young son that, no, I would not play the song right then.

It was 5:00AM. We’d already had both barking and bouncing dogs. If I started pounding on the piano, I was sure that not only would all of his brothers and sisters turn into zombies, but that our neighbors would likely storm our house with pitchforks and torches.

I did not explain to him that I also could not play the piece right then. My lack of sleep was making it nearly impossible for me to get both of my eyes to stay open at the same time. There was no way I was going to be able to coordinate 2 hands along with my eyes to produce the song written on the page.

I tried humming Colossus for him, but it came out sounding like Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful.

A few minutes later he was blasting Colossus on our TV, having accessed the internet through the Xbox, and I was pretty sure I could hear our neighbors groaning.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot ...Gina's Favorites Sleep DeprivationI finally got to sleep for about an hour before I had to get up to get my pack moving for school. But, an hour just wasn’t enough sleep to let my body, much less my brain, reset.

I had tossed the bowls my kids used for breakfast into the trash can, and loaded the empty cereal box into our dishwasher before I realized what I was doing.  Of course, that’s not the only telltale sign that my brain is exhausted, and needs a hard reboot.

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot

#10.  I was yelling at my children to hurry or they’ll be late to school even though they’d already left for school.

#9.  I keep catching myself typing with spaces between syllables, instead of between the words.

#8.  I just spelled “between” wrong. Three times.

#7.  I also spelled “syllables” wrong. Many, many times.

#6.  I was yelling at the dog to come downstairs. Turns out, he was sitting on my feet, and I was downstairs at the time. I think the dog rolled his eyes at me.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot ...Gina's Favorites Sleep Deprivation#5.  I have been seriously considering using a fork to stab the guy whose truck keeps making that stupid back up beeping noise I’ve been hearing on and off all morning. Make up your mind. Park your stupid truck, and get away from it. Some of us have had no sleep.

#4.  I was completely immobilized while trying to put on my bathrobe because a sleeve was inside out.  This is why it’s important to have 911 on speed dial.

#3.  I keep needing to Google simple facts, and then forgetting what I was gonna Google before I can open Google.

#2.  I asked a client, who I know lives less than an hour away from me, what time it is where he lives. To his credit, he immediately asked me what color the sky is on my planet.

#1.  I just now, an hour after she left, realized why I liked the black jacket my 16 year old daughter was wearing when she left for school.  Because it’s mine.

Is it nap o’clock yet?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How can you tell when your brain needs a hard reboot?  Have you done anything goofy because you were tired?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot

by Gina Valley

Bear, our boy puppy, came into our bedroom and barked at me at 3:00AM this morning.  This might not have been quite so jarring had I not been up until 2:00AM waiting for my 17 year old to arrive home from Disneyland.

I can’t sleep when my kids aren’t home. Of course, if last night is any indication, I can’t sleep when they are either.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot Sleep DeprivationApparently, Bear, our giant pup, was lonely.  He finally settled down about 4:00AM, at which point his sister, Ziva, jump onto our bed. I think she was there to complain about her litter mate being so loud. Then, she remembered how much she likes to bounce on our bed, and proceeded to work on her technique, on and off, for the next hour.

At 5:00AM, our youngest son proved he was right last night when he said that he could get up early, even though he was up 2 hours past his bedtime, by climbing onto our bed to chat.  “Since we’re both awake, mom,” he said, “can you play Colossus on the piano for me again? I forgot how it goes, and I have a test on it during band today.”

I explained to my young son that, no, I would not play the song right then.

It was 5:00AM. We’d already had both barking and bouncing dogs. If I started pounding on the piano, I was sure that not only would all of his brothers and sisters turn into zombies, but that our neighbors would likely storm our house with pitchforks and torches.

I did not explain to him that I also could not play the piece right then. My lack of sleep was making it nearly impossible for me to get both of my eyes to stay open at the same time. There was no way I was going to be able to coordinate 2 hands along with my eyes to produce the song written on the page.

I tried humming Colossus for him, but it came out sounding like Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful.

A few minutes later he was blasting Colossus on our TV, having accessed the internet through the Xbox, and I was pretty sure I could hear our neighbors groaning.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot Sleep DeprivationI finally got to sleep for about an hour before I had to get up to get my pack moving for school. But, an hour just wasn’t enough sleep to let my body, much less my brain, reset.

I had tossed the bowls my kids used for breakfast into the trash can, and loaded the empty cereal box into our dishwasher before I realized what I was doing.  Of course, that’s not the only telltale sign that my brain is exhausted, and needs a hard reboot.

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot

#10.  I was yelling at my children to hurry or they’ll be late to school even though they’d already left for school.

#9.  I keep catching myself typing with spaces between syllables, instead of between the words.

#8.  I just spelled “between” wrong. Three times.

#7.  I also spelled “syllables” wrong. Many, many times.

#6.  I was yelling at the dog to come downstairs. Turns out, he was sitting on my feet, and I was downstairs at the time. I think the dog rolled his eyes at me.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot Sleep Deprivation

#5.  I have been seriously considering using a fork to stab the guy whose truck keeps making that stupid back up beeping noise I’ve been hearing on and off all morning. Make up your mind. Park your stupid truck, and get away from it. Some of us have had no sleep.

#4.  I was completely immobilized while trying to put on my bathrobe because a sleeve was inside out.  This is why it’s important to have 911 on speed dial.

#3.  I keep needing to Google simple facts, and then forgetting what I was gonna Google before I can open Google.

#2.  I asked a client, who I know lives less than an hour away from me, what time it is where he lives. To his credit, he immediately asked me what color the sky is on my planet.

#1.  I just now, an hour after she left, realized why I liked the black jacket my 16 year old daughter was wearing when she left for school.  Because it’s mine.

Is it nap o’clock yet?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How can you tell when your brain needs a hard reboot?  Have you done anything goofy because you were tired?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Early Morning Ambush

Early Morning Ambush

by Gina Valley

I did not rise before my children Thursday morning, which is normally my plan of attack.  I overslept until 6:30AM, when I was awoken by my youngest, to find that I was surrounded by six of my young pack members. They, then, proceeded to hurl the following questions at me in the following order in rapid fire fashion:

Humor Funny  Parenting Sleep-deprived Doorlock Moms Dads Kids Family LifeWhat would happen if you were surrounded by a metal shield and lightening hit it?

Will lava melt a diamond?

Can I eat the taquitos or are those for dinner?

Mom, will you smell this?

I know I’ve been rude and snotty all week, and I’m grounded, but is it ok if I go to McDonald’s with my friends before school?

I’m in a bad mood, will you stop being funny?

The speed, subject matter, and seriousness caused me to giggle a bit as the queries were quickly put forth, a reaction a couple of my kids did not appreciate, as they apparently had a rather foul disposition at that early hour.

The Professor, who had semi-awoken in the midst of this onslaught and was staring at the progeny surrounding our bed in what, I can only assume, was an attempt to determine whether he was awake or in the midst of a parenting nightmare, crashed back onto his pillow, pulled the covers over his head, and mumbled something about, “Why the bloody ‘ell did we teach them to talk?”

This caused me to giggle more, an action not at all appreciated by “I’m in a bad mood.”

I got my giggling under control and woke up my brain. I answered the questions as listed below.  It was a good reminder that you never know when that college education is going to come in handy.

It was also a good reminder that we need to get the lock on our bedroom door fixed. Soon.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

[Answer key (answers listed in the order of the questions above):

It depends on the size of the shield, the conductivity of the metal, and your proximity to it.  Effects would be somewhere from hearing loss to death. Please do not stand in the next thunderstorm with a metal shield to test this out.

Lava near the service of the earth does not have enough pressure to melt a diamond, but a diamond will burn at the temperature surface lava produces, provided there is oxygen present. But, that seems like a waste of a perfectly good diamond.

Yes, eat the taquitos, as long as you don’t mind having Cheerios for dinner.

No, I will not.  If you have to ask, it’s dirty.

Are you just trying to make me laugh?  Not a chance, darlin’.  Not even if you smell that thing for your brother.

Hahahahaha! Now you’re being funny!]