What Is Going On?!?!

What Is Going On?!?!

There’s stuff I don’t understand.

Things that baffle me.  Things that bewilder me.  Stuff in life I just don’t get.

Lots of it.

I’ve had years of graduate level physics classes.  I guess there’s some stuff that even those don’t explain.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Bewilderments Questions Physics Why, after I’ve been falling asleep sitting up on the sofa every 5 minutes for an hour while holding my laptop and trying to type, do I stare at the ceiling for hours instead of boarding the plane to Dreamland when I climb into bed?

Why does my grandmother ignore me when I tell her she should talk to her doctor about her dizzy spells, but go straight to his office when it’s suggested to her to do so by a complete stranger on the bus?

Why is my daughter, who’s standing there wearing my missing sweater and boots, yelling at her sister for wearing her t-shirt without asking?

Why do we say we love our family, but skip over that first piece of bread in the loaf like it’s nuclear waste and leave it behind for them to eat?

Why when I go to bed early do I always over-sleep the next morning?

Why does my son insist his clothes be spotless, and wrinkle and lint free, but still refuse to take a shower?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Bewilderments Questions Physics

Why does my daughter walk down the hall past the bathroom to throw up on my bed? With me in it?

Why does the garbage disposal become a geyser every time we have company?

Why does the washing machine know to break down when we’re washing clothes frantically the night before vacation?

Why can’t my 11 year old remember to put both of his shoes in his closet but can line up his Skylander action figures in alphabetical order without even thinking?

Why is the cell phone ringer always on silent mode when we lose it?  And, why is it always down the sofa?  And, why don’t we ever look there first?

Why does the Internet crash the instant I hit send on an email that must go out now?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Bewilderments Questions PhysicsWhy does the dog insist on carrying in something from our recycle bin every time he comes in from the yard, but never carries any of it back out?

Why is it impossible to wake my son at 7:00AM for school, and equally impossible to get him to sleep past 5:00AM on Saturday morning?

Why can our bird perfectly navigate flying throughout our home for hours but flies directly into my head when I walk past her perch?

There are a lot more bewilderments in my life, but I’ve got to go get the feathers out of my hair.

And, to pick up the bird.

Stupid bird.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What are your bewilderments?   Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

 

I Don’t Have Lollipops Up The Wazoo

I Don’t Have Lollipops Up The Wazoo

Let me just say, as a disclaimer, this is a whiney post.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Irritants Whining Disclaimer Problems Trouble Bad Mood Loneliness Correct Spelling A Lot Feeding The  Dog Stinky Dog Food Lazy Teacher Saving Wrapping Paper Plates Teenager Neighbor

I’m generally an anti-whine-ite, so the fact, that I even hit “publish” is something of a near miracle, which only happened because my great buddy Joan told me that “People need to know that you’re real; that you don’t always have giggles, sunshine, and lollipops up the wazoo.”

Joan is probably correct, although I am hoping that you all know I don’t have lollipops up my wazoo.  That sounds terribly uncomfortable.  And sticky.

So today, instead of posting one of my back-up, ready-to-go-in-case-of-emergency-or-cruddy-weeks posts, I’m gonna go ahead and whine, because, as my dear Joan reminded me, “Sometimes, you gotta whine.”  Or, maybe it was ”wine.”  I forget.

Probably good advice either way.

As a second disclaimer, let me just say, I have no problems.  None.

Obviously, I mean that comparatively, not literally.  I know many of you, because you have honored me by sharing some of your struggles with me, face things every day that would overwhelm me to the point of despair.

So, I have no problems.  But, today, that won’t keep me from bit…I mean whining about some.

I try to remain a positive person.  I guess I’m naturally that way.  I tend to look over the turds in life and on toward the greatness tomorrow holds.  I try to spotlight the good in people, while trying to overlook the often glaring not-so-good-stuff.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Irritants Whining Disclaimer Problems Trouble Bad Mood Loneliness Correct Spelling A Lot Feeding The  Dog Stinky Dog Food Lazy Teacher Saving Wrapping Paper Plates Teenager NeighborBut, this week stank, and yesterday was particularly terrible.  So, every little thing is feeling like a giant burr under my saddle.

Many of my best friends are far away. I don’t mean emotionally or just distanced themselves.  No, no.  We are still thick as thieves (which reminds me – I’ve got some de-thickening to work on personally, thanks to a New Year’s resolution, which means no junk food, i.e. “medicinal gnoshing,” right now and that stinks).  No, they are actually in far away places to follow job promotions, career changes, return to school, or to follow their spouse who is doing one of these things.

It’s great for them.  It stinks for me.  I don’t like it and I want everybody back in “grab a coffee in an hour?” distance.

Every day, EVERY day, I am asked how to spell, “a lot.”  Is “a lot” a word?  How do you spell “a lot?” No matter where I am or who I’m with, someone always asks. This week one of my sons has asked me 4 different times, “Is ‘a lot’ a word?”

I’m happy to help anyone, especially my children, to learn.  But, the same short word 4 times this week from a highly gifted 12 year old?  Irritating!  I had a guy ask me if “a lot” is one word or two while we were waiting in line at the post office.  Come on people.  Get it together.  Is “adog” a word?  Is “asandwich” a word?  Is “acar” a word?  No, and neither is “alot.” Nor is “getwiththeprogram,”  or ”stopaskingmeif “a lot”isaword.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Irritants Whining Disclaimer Problems Trouble Bad Mood Loneliness Correct Spelling A Lot Feeding The  Dog Stinky Dog Food Lazy Teacher Saving Wrapping Paper Plates Teenager NeighborI hate feeding the dog.  HATE it.  I can’t stand the smell.  I would rather be dead than smell that smell.  That shouldn’t be a problem, though, because I don’t feed pets.  I feed children.  I feed adults.  I feed people of any age.  But, I do not feed pets (unless they are sick or old or particularly great at looking pathetic that day).

Part of the agreement in becoming a pet custodian in our home is understanding I will not be feeding your pet.  Nonetheless (don’t you just love how there are no spaces in that word?), nearly every morning for the past two weeks, I’ve had to feed the dog because whomever was next in the posted batting order didn’t bother to do it.

I’m not going to let an animal go hungry all day because the assigned human remembered to feed him or herself, but not the furry friend whose bowl was empty.  But, I’m not going to be happy about it.  Nope, pretty far away from happy about it.

One of my kid’s teachers is horrible.  I was an elementary teacher. It was hands down my favorite employment ever.  It is a ton of work to do a good job at it, but totally worth the effort.  And, totally optional, in that you don’t have to be a teacher.

If you don’t want to put in the effort to be at least competent and kind, quit.  Work at the Department of Motor Vehicles.  I noticed when I was there last month they seem to be filling many of their positions with people who are lacking both kindness and competency.

This teacher refuses to provide either me or my son with a list of work when he’s absent.  She says that the kids need to learn to be responsible, so they have to copy down the information from another student when they return.  Then, if they figure out they need any materials from her they need to ask her for them.  I think kids should be responsible, but I think teachers should be, also.

My son’s chronic illness causes him to miss school frequently. But, even if it didn’t, perhaps you also see the glaring problem with this system.  If the student he gets the information from is wrong, my son is out of luck.   Any child who is absent faces the same dilemma.

When I politely pointed out this problem, in light of the fact that my son had received 0’s for not doing work he did not know he was supposed to do, I was told by the teacher that “It was the other student’s responsibility to write it down correctly.”  This teacher is just being lazy.  We should not have to fight this battle and I am beyond irritated that we have to.

One of my kid’s saves tissue paper.  I don’t just mean “saves it.”  It’s more like she rescues and adopts it, keeping it in her custody until another suitable gift giving opportunity presents itself.   Now, I’m all for being thrifty.  But, a 200 sheet pack of tissue paper runs about a buck.  It’s worth the 3 cents per gift to me to go with fresh paper.

More importantly, we have too much stuff in our house already to add a collection of, what is in my opinion, garbage to our full clutter inventory.   I’m already busy finding and dumping the jars and plastic tubs other pack members insist they will reuse.  I don’t need to spend additional time stealthily removing potential kindling from my daughter’s room.  Why can’t my family throw anything away?

And, you should see what she does to her room if left to her own devices for a couple days.  I can’t imagine what would happen if I let her add used wrapping supplies to her belongings.  I have visions of starring in a season of Hoarders.  And not in a good way.  You just know they’ll ask me why I let her develop into that.  No one will believe that we have come to tears over her insistence that my throwing out tissue paper after a gift is opened is my greatest character flaw.  I’ve got lots of character flaws. That’s not even in the top 100.  How about we focus on one of those?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Irritants Whining Disclaimer Problems Trouble Bad Mood Loneliness Correct Spelling A Lot Feeding The  Dog Stinky Dog Food Lazy Teacher Saving Wrapping Paper Plates Teenager NeighborI love dishes.  It’s not quite shoe addiction level yet, but I do have several different sets.  And, we use them all.  But, the pattern we most frequently use is paper plates.  When life is too busy to allow for a thorough cleanup, which is more often than not, we skip my many beloved porcelain wonders and go for the renewable food holders.  Which keeps me sane.  Or, it would keep me sane, if people would throw out their used plates.

My pack puts more dirty paper plates in the sink than they do real dishes.  How do you walk past the trash can and not throw that sucker out?  Why would you spend more energy to do the wrong thing?  Do they really think we’re going to wash and reuse those?  And, what is the deal with leaving used paper plates on the table?  And the counter?  And in the microwave? WTH?

Granted, there is a lid on our trashcan, but you don’t need an access code or superhuman strength to remove it.  Just touch the foot-pedal and it flies open (knocking the finish off of the cabinet next to it, which will be fodder for another Whine-fest), as if by magic.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Irritants Whining Disclaimer Problems Trouble Bad Mood Loneliness Correct Spelling A Lot Feeding The  Dog Stinky Dog Food Lazy Teacher Saving Wrapping Paper Plates Teenager Neighbor

But, do they throw them out without reminders?  Noooo.  Do they throw them out with reminders?  Noooo.  I guess they don’t have time because they are too busy driving me to insanity, short trip that it is.

I think I’m past my whine limit, so unfortunately I won’t be able to tell you about my teenager who, after complaining yesterday about having to spend 10 minutes loading the dishwasher, announced this morning that I should allow time each morning to prepare a hot breakfast for him, or about my neighbor who complains nearly weekly about my son’s well-cared for car being parked in front of our house because my neighbor would like to place his trashcans there.  Sometimes it makes my eyes roll so hard I can see my brain.

I gotta go see a man about a lollipop.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What’s bugging you?  Surely I’m not the only one who sometimes feels the weight of all the tiny stuff is nearly overwhelming.  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Why Do We Have The Dog?

Why Do We Have The Dog?

After one of our dogs, Trixie, passed away this week, my daughter Gemma told me that she wasn’t sure she wanted to get a puppy, because she didn’t want to have to go through that again.

It’s very hard when your family dog, or any pet you’re close to really, dies.

Frankly, it’s not very easy while they are alive, either.  I heard it said once that pets make you live longer.  Sometimes I think maybe it just feels longer.

A dog family member is a furry bundle of trouble and work and fun.  If you don’t have one, it’s hard to understand why anyone would want to go through all of that trouble just to hang out with something that is loud and messy and potentially smelly.

So, let me explain why we have the dog:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Throwback Day Dogs Baby Bottle Cake Soda Jerky Treats Dog Biscuits Christmas Tree Easter Basket LeashNot because one wag of his tail-of-death clears everything off of the coffee table in one fail swoosh sending books, drinks, and small children flying in all directions, but because a nudge from a furry head can bring a smile to the worst day.

Not because he figured out how to suck all of the milk out of the baby’s bottle, but because babies need someone to pull up on when they’re learning to walk and to be a soft landing when they fall and to eat all of the things they don’t want on their highchair.

Not because he ate a Costco size bag of chocolate kisses and pooped sparkles for a week, but because toddlers need someone to play catch and tag with who will never quit, and to lick their faces when they’ve snuck candy and who loves gooey hugs and sticky fingers.

Not because he barks non-stop at fireworks, but because 5 year olds need someone to keep them safe during thunderstorms.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Throwback Day Dogs Baby Bottle Cake Soda Jerky Treats Dog Biscuits Christmas Tree Easter Basket LeashNot because he climbed onto the kitchen counter and proved  that a cake meant to serve 55 people all afternoon only serves one dog for two minutes, but because 7 year olds need someone to snuggle with when they’ve been sent to their room for sassing.

Not because he’s afraid of caterpillars and the clothes dryer, but because 10 year olds need someone to help them be brave and to meet new friends.

Not because he can’t wag his tail evenly, but because 12 year olds need to know they are special and significant even when their world is crazy busy around them.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Throwback Day Dogs Baby Bottle Cake Soda Jerky Treats Dog Biscuits Christmas Tree Easter Basket LeashNot because he insists on carrying a 2L soda bottle around with him, but because teenagers need someone to talk to who will listen forever and never interrupt them and never judge them.

Not because he sleeps on the sofa while we’re out, and hops off quickly  when he hears us drive up, but because 15 year olds need someone to sit with them and protect them when that strange noise in the empty house makes them wish they hadn’t insisted they were old enough to stay home alone.

Not because he feels the need to have a loud discussion with our local gang of raccoons every night at 3:50AM, but because no one should have to be alone when they’re up in the middle of the night.

Not because he ate the entire 6 pound box of jerky treats one afternoon and then brought them up for an encore all over the brand new living room rug, but because everyone needs someone who is always happy to see them no matter what time it is, what day it is, or how cranky they were when they left in the morning.

Not because he loves to wake people up who doze off on the sofa by poking them in their eye with his cold, wet nose, and then licking them in the mouth when they open their mouth to holler at him, but because everyone needs someone to take care of them, watch over them, love them completely even if they don’t always understand each other.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Throwback Day Dogs Baby Bottle Cake Soda Jerky Treats Dog Biscuits Christmas Tree Easter Basket LeashAnd, not because he knocked over the Christmas tree and dragged it around the house while we were at midnight services on Christmas Eve, but because everyone needs to take care of someone, to watch over someone, and to love someone completely even if they don’t always understand each other.

It’s been a rough week at the Valley house as we’ve lost one of our dear furry family members.  I’m glad we have our other goofy dog, Douglas, to keep us entertained and smiling.

Seems appropriate to have Throwback Day be doggy-oriented this week.

For laughs, click on over to my If It Answers To Easter Basket It Must Be Our Dog post about our pretty, but dumb dog.

…Even though it usually receives no acknowledgement from him we consistently call Douglas “Douglas.”  We are ever hopeful that he will catch on.  But, at 10 years old he still hasn’t.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Throwback Day Dogs Baby Bottle Cake Soda Jerky Treats Dog Biscuits Christmas Tree Easter Basket LeashFor almost 6 weeks this past spring he answered solely to the name “Easter Basket.”  Daughter#1 was in a conversation, and when she said, “Easter basket,” Douglas charged across the house, giant paws slipping and sliding, long legs flailing, right up to her.  We thought it was a coincidence….

…I’m not sure if Douglas thought “Easter  Basket” was his name or if he had associated “Easter Basket” with candy and was hoping to get some (my dad also comes running at the phrase “Easter Basket.”  He loves him some candy!), but for whatever the reason, for the first time in his near decade as a part of our family, we had a reliable way to call that dog to us.  Gotta admit it felt a little weird hollering it out at the dog park, though….

If you are in the mood for deep thoughts and a tearjerker, I’ll meet you over at my Seriously Today – Our dog Is Dying post about what I was thinking about when I realized Trixie’s cancer was starting to defeat her body.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Throwback Day Dogs Baby Bottle Cake Soda Jerky Treats Dog Biscuits Christmas Tree Easter Basket Leash…I’m thinking about how she forces herself to get up and greet us at the door nearly every time someone comes home, and how painful it must be to move on the few occasions when she abandons the effort to rise and merely wags her tail.  I don’t always greet people at the door.  What’s my excuse?

I’m thinking about how she finds comfort in just being near us.  I don’t know if she understands what’s happening to her, but I know that she feels better, safer, happier being near us. I can tell that she does not want to be alone.  How many people do I know that would be happier just being near someone?  Why haven’t I invited them over?…

Whichever you pick, or heck go for both, I’ll meet you over there.

As always, the extra clicks on Throwback Day count as cardio.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Has there been a special pet in your life?  Do your kids have pets? What is it about animals that make them worth the effort and expense to have them in your life?

Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Throwback Thursday – That’s NOT Food!

Throwback Thursday – That’s NOT Food!

This week, just for fun, and because I blew it and posted the wrong thing on Thursday (Been that kinda week) we’re going to have Throwback Thursday on Friday.

Yesterday, Molly, AKA @CrazedKitchen, Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Ice Cube Trays Cat Dog Spill 2 Year Old Winewho is awesome by the way, reminded me about a “recipe” I posted in May.  It seemed apropos for a giggle during this late summer heat.

I hope you cook up a laugh while you read it.

Click here to read:   How To Make Ice Cubes – An Old Family Recipe

Remember, the extra click counts as cardio!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What’s cooking at your house?  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it, so drop me a comment while your ice is cooking.

How To Make Ice Cubes – An Old Family Recipe

How To Make Ice Cubes – An Old Family Recipe

by Gina Valley

Like most people with a refrigerator with a built-in automatic ice maker, our automatic ice maker is beyond repair.  So, we’ve had to revert to making ice cubes the old-fashioned way.  And, by “we” I, of course, mean “me.”

I decided I better write down the recipe for this old family favorite after my husband, The Professor, explained to me that the football team of the cross town rival of his university no longer had ice in their Gatorade because the guy who knew the recipe had graduated.  I’d hate to think of such a tragedy visiting our family, as I am, judging by the perpetually empty trays, currently the only pack member who knows this secret recipe.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley How To Make Ice Cubes - An Old Family Recipe

So, here is the recipe, along with tips and techniques from my personal, real-life ice cube making experience.

Ingredients:

  • Water – Any variety will work.  I prefer clear, but it’s really a personal choice.
  • Red wine, large bottle, good quality – I prefer a fine Cabernet Sauvignon, but use your favorite

Special Equipment:

  • Ice cube trays – double as many as you think you’ll need.
  • Freezer – plugged in, turned on, pre-cooled

Optional Equipment:

  • wine glass – if you drink from the bottle you won’t have to waste time washing the glass.

Directions:

  • Pre-cool your freezer to below 32’F (0’C)  –  It helps if you plug it in.  We’ve tried freezing stuff in an unplugged freezer before.  It really doesn’t work very well.
  • Place ice cube trays on a flat, horizontal surface – This is usually the most difficult step in the recipe in households where children or fraternity brothers reside, as there is rarely an available even semi-horizontal surface of any kind.  A gas-powered leaf blower, garden rake, or frightened cat all work fairly well to rapidly clear off a surface.
  • Carefully pour water into each vessel of each ice cube tray to about the ¾ full point – Although not a fatal problem, overfilled ice cube trays will over flow, causing the ice cube tray to attach itself to whatever it is in contact with, be it the freezer shelf, last week’s chili, or the top layer of your wedding cake.  In the last case, in my experience, it comes very close to being fatal.
  • Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley How To Make Ice Cubes - An Old Family RecipeHalfway through filling the first tray, be prepared for your two year old to “help” you – She will surprise you by reaching higher than is physically possible for someone of such small stature and by moving quicker than light itself moves.  She will grab the tray you are filling, and rush out of the kitchen, while screaming, “I hep you! I hep you! I hep!” and disappearing down the corridor. Don’t worry she’ll be easy to find, just as mine was.
  • Follow the trail of water your 2 year old made on the new carpet in the corridor, the fragile wallpaper in the living room, and somehow on the 20 foot ceiling in the foyer.
  • Dry off the wallpaper first.  You’ll never be able to reach the ceiling anyway, and it’s already soaked through the carpet by now.
  • Let her keep the tray – Don’t even try to get the ice cube tray away from your little one.  She’s going to want to take it everywhere with her for the next week.  Mine slept with it, ate with it, and took it to preschool.
  • Return to the kitchen after you have dried off and reattached the wallpaper.   Fill up the remaining ice cube trays.
  • After you have carefully filled each and every vessel, carefully carry each ice cube tray to the sink or a nearby planter and dump out the water – This is necessary because while you were chasing your two year old, your cat jumped up on the counter to sprinkle fur into each of the vessels of each ice cube tray to provide that designer look to the cubes.
  • Next, you will need to refill the newly de-haired ice cube trays.
  • Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley How To Make Ice Cubes - An Old Family RecipeOnce filled, you will need to place the trays into the freezer – Many of my pack members have failed to absorb this important detail, choosing instead to attempt to freeze the ice cubes by leaving the trays (sometimes filled, sometimes not) on the counter for days. This has never worked at our house, but I suppose, were it cold enough, it might work in some.
  • Look both ways to check for kitchen traffic before proceeding to cross the kitchen to place the trays into your freezer – Carrying filled, unfrozen ice cube trays attracts a kitchen crowd even quicker than trying to wrestle that mammoth Thanksgiving turkey out of the oven does.
  • Now comes the tricky step – Unfortunately, in her haste to escape, your 2 year old has undoubtedly left a nearly invisible trap for you in the form of a pool of potential ice forming water on the floor in front of your freezer.  You will slip.  You will slide.   You will flail your arms about causing the water in the trays to be dispersed in a precipitation like manner throughout your kitchen.  But, and you will congratulate yourself for this, you will not fall because of that puddle.
  • You will nearly recover your balance – But, unfortunately that will occur in the exact moment that the ice cube tray generated precipitation reaches your cat.
  • And, just as you are congratulating yourself for your cat like reflexes that kept you from falling, your cat will use his to seek shelter from the falling water in between your feet, causing you to accidentally step on either his paw or tail (I’m not sure which now; it’s all kind of a blur of fur, screeching, and claws). This foot-upon-cat condition will cause your cat to feel the need to express his displeasure with having one of his body parts stomped on by screaming and climbing up your leg.
  • Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley How To Make Ice Cubes - An Old Family RecipeThat’s when you’ll fall.
  • Your two year old will be standing over you with a box of bandages when you open your eyes.  She will ask repeatedly, “You got boo-boo? Huh? You got boo-boo?”  Your Labrador will be looking in through the window in the back door with an expression that clearly means, “I told you that dang cat was trouble.”  And, the cat will be back on the counter shaking his head and rolling his eyes in disgust at your inability to stick the landing.
  • As you lay there on the floor waiting for the world to stop spinning you will curse the cat and curse the stupid plastic ice cube trays and curse the bloody repairman who said it wasn’t worth the money to fix the ice maker.  As you painfully drag yourself up to your feet you will even curse ice itself, but then take it back as you remember your love of ice hockey.
  • Then, you will growl at your mocking cat, scoop up your helpful two year old, and head for the car.  You will drive seven blocks to nearest convenience store, shell out $5 for a 10 lb bag of ice you, in theory, could have made at home for free.  You will then return home, shove the bag of ice into the freezer, switch on Dora for your two year old, and open your wine.

As you plop down on the sofa next to your two year old and sip your wine, you will remind yourself that wine really is essential to all good family recipes.  And, you’ll make a mental note to start with the last step of this recipe first next time.

Laugh Out Loud!

gina

What are your favorite family recipes?  I’d love to hear about them!  Shoot me a comment before it’s time to mop something up again.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Do Turtles Wear Deodorant?

Do Turtles Wear Deodorant?

by Gina Valley

Each night before I go to bed, I toss the load of laundry I put into the washer after dinner into the dryer.  It’s really one of those on auto-pilot “do it without thinking” kind of things.

But, for some reason, last night I guess I was Humor Funny Parenting child point of view turtles laundry deodorant  helpful  child Moms Dads Kids children Family Life lovea little more aware of what was going on around me, because I noticed something I hadn’t noticed before.

There is a bookcase along one of the walls of the hall that leads to our laundry room.  Our turtles live in an aquarium on top of the bookcase.  Last night as I raced by on my way to attempt to get closer to laundry Nirvana I noticed a stick of deodorant next to the tank.

Why is there deodorant next to the turtles’ tank? Do turtles wear deodorant?

Upon closer inspection I recognized the deodorant as belonging to Son#2.

So, I, apparently having forgotten how very unsatisfying the explanations given by children are, decided to ask Son#2 for an explanation.

Me to son#2: Why is your deodorant on the bookcase by the turtle tank?

Son#2: Because that’s closer to the dryer.

This, in his opinion, was a thorough, light-shedding explanation.  He started to head up the stairs toward his bedroom.  I wanted a bit more sun to shine on the topic.  I held onto his sweat shirt to slow his escape.

Me: Hang on a second. You have to explain that or I am going to have a stroke.

Son#2: What’s a stroke?

Me: You won’t like it. It ends with me drooling.  A lot.  Explain.

Son#2: Since it’s cold, I get up an hour early each morning and put my clothes in the dryer so they’re nice & warm when I put them on. I have to put on my deodorant after I put on my clothes so I need it close.

Me: Where do you put the clothes that are in the dryer? (note: I always put a load in the dryer before I go to bed, so there is one in the dryer every morning.)

Son#2: In the big basket.

Me: The big basket? That’s the dirty clothes hamper. It’s full of dirty laundry. Why don’t you just bring them in the house?

Son#2: I don’t have time. I have to get ready for school. That’s why I keep my deodorant there. So I’m not late for school.

Me: But, you’re coming in the house anyway.

Son#2: Well, I didn’t think of that.

To summarize:

The deodorant is next to the turtle tank so Son#2 won’t be late to school. (note: Son#2 is usually late to school anyway. Perhaps deodorant location isn’t the problem)

The unending laundry at our house is being supplemented each morning by a child who is adding a clean load to the dirty stuff.

And, if I wasn’t already too busy washing clean laundry, I think I would have a stroke today just so I could drool on that child!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What confusing behavior do your family members exhibit?  Have you received a crazy explanation for seemingly simple behavior?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Please Don’t Eat the Chocolate Chips!!!

Please Don’t Eat the Chocolate Chips!!!

by Gina Valley

Dear Family,

I would appreciate it if you would not eat the chocolate chips.  I bought those to make cookies with. 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley  chocolate chips imaginary pets bathroom bunny rabbit

But, if you are going to eat the chocolate chips, I would appreciate it if you would not eat them in the bathroom because eating in the bathroom is disgusting.  

But, if you are going to eat the chocolate chips in the bathroom, I would appreciate it if you would not leave a little trail of them across the floor because it looks like bunny poop and causes me to waste my already taxed brain power attempting to figure out when we got a bunny and how did he know that was the bathroom.

As always, thank you for your cooperation.

Love,

mom

Laugh Out Loud!!!

-gina

Does your family eat in the bathroom?  Am I the only one this grosses out?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!