Top 10 Ways to Be A REAL Dad

Top 10 Ways to Be A REAL Dad

by Gina Valley

Today is my Dad’s birthday.  He’s only got the one a year, so I like to do something special for it. This year, I thought I’d share a little bit about him.

My dad’s a pretty amazing guy.  In fact, the older I get, the smarter he gets!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Ways to Be A REAL Dad He’s truly got this whole dad-thing down.  In fact, you can’t find a better example.  If you’re wondering what you need to be a real dad for the long haul, let him help you out:

Top 10 Ways to Be A Real Dad

#10.  You’ll need to develop a unique linguistic style.  My dad has his own language.  He’s the only person I know who uses phrases like “Dab gum it!” or “Don’t be a panty waist!” (I’m still not sure what that means exactly, but I always took it to mean “Quit your whining and move your arse”).

#9.  You’ll need to be consistent.  Every April 1st my dad goes out to check my mom’s car’s tires, because every April 1st my mom tells him, as an April Fool’s joke, that her car has a flat.  Even though he usually remembers it’s April 1st long before he gets to her car, he still checks.  Just to be sure.  Then, he goes back in the house and plays a joke on my mom. I’m predicting fake dog deposits this year, as they have a new puppy.

#8.  You’ll need to develop quality control systems.  My dad reloads the dishwasher after I load it. Every time.  Even at my house.  Of course, I do the same thing to him.  Apple.  Tree.  All that.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Ways to Be A REAL Dad #7.  You’ll need to find your center.  My dad is the most even keeled guy I know.  I’ve seen him get his finger caught in an electric auger and barely raise his voice. I screamed at my kids for letting the dog eat the Parmesan cheese last night (in my defense, the dog had run all over our house shaking the container as he went, thoroughly garnishing our home with a fine cheese coating. Nothing like a well garnished home to produce a “scream at someone” kind of moment).

#6.  You’ll need duct tape and a tool belt.  My dad can fix anything.  Anything.  If he doesn’t have the needed tool he’ll get it.  If they don’t make the tool, he’ll make it himself.  I’ve never heard my dad say “I can’t fix that.” He looks at stuff differently, through Dad-vision glasses.  I might see a former seating device, he sees a perfectly good chair that just needs 2 legs, an arm, a back, and a seat.

#5.  You’ll need a rod and reel.  My dad’s an amazing fisherman.  If there’s a fish the lake, he’ll bring it home for dinner.  I’m a pretty amazing fisherperson myself.  If there’s wild caught salmon at Costco, I’ll wrassle a package into my cart every time.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Ways to Be A REAL Dad #4.  You’ll need to speak “auto” and carry a big wrench.  My dad is The Car-Whisperer.  He’s rebuilt engines himself, left out a couple pieces, and still made it hum like new.  I, on the other hand, am The Car-Killer.  I’ve had cars burst into flames just because I thought about being on time to a meeting.

#3.  You’ll need to be a nutritionist.  My dad always makes sure people get just what they need to eat.  When my eldest child was only a few months old, my dad knew he needed some ice cream, and made sure he got some.   I admit I wasn’t completely supportive of the idea at the time, but the fact that he chose Rocky Road to feed my little toothless wonder might have impacted my opinion.


#2.  You’ll need to be a chef of haute cuisine.
  When I was a child and my dad would cook a meal, he always cooked everything in one pan.  When we’d ask why he didn’t use separate pans for different foods, he’d reply, “Why? It’s all going to the same place.”  Often, when I survey the mountain of pots and pans I’ve dirtied making dinner, I see the wisdom in my dad’s method.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Ways to Be A REAL Dad

#1.  You’ll need to realize that your kids will always be your kids.  My dad still dad’s me to this day, even as I have kids of my own.  He makes sure I have a coat on when it’s cold.  He reminds me to drive safely.  He tells me I need to eat more protein.  In other words, he loves me.

 

Take a page from my dad, and you’ll be amazing.

And, no, you don’t have a flat tire.  Probably.

Well, you better go check.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What do you see in the dads in your life?  What dad-isms should I add to my list?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Tuesday Tickles – dtvt

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Tuesday Tickles – dtvt Twitter MomSpeak KidSpeakTuesday Tickles – dtvt

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tickles that made me laugh in the last week.

 


Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

 

Momspeak

(stuff I can hardly believe I said out loud to my pack this week):

Do not throw the cranberry sauce.

You can’t make pickles with chicken broth.

Of course no one killed the turkey. It just got old  and died.

 

Kidspeak

(stuff I can hardly believe one of my pack said to me this week):

Can we hang Jello on the tree?

I think the puppy ate your deodorant, because his breath smells like you.

Did you comb your hair like that on purpose? 

 

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Don’t miss a giggle.  Be sure to “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.

Don’t You DARE Put That In Our Yard! …Gina’s Favorites

Don’t You DARE Put That In Our Yard! …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

With Thanksgiving under our belt, we’ve passed through the official time for the “Fresh VS Frozen Turkey” debate, and are now poised to begin arguing about Christmas lighting options.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Don’t You DARE Put That In Our Yard! ...Gina's Favorites Lights DecoratingChristmas lights are truly a defining force in our culture.  You give me a light decorating opportunity and I can give you a complete psychological run down of everyone involved.

My Call of Duty fan son argues that we should put a tank in the yard, made of lights, because that’s what Jesus would do.

My teenage daughters argue that the lights are embarrassing.

My young children want more.  More characters.  More lights.  More colors.  More everything.  The crasser the better in their eyes.

My son’s boss wants precise, measured spacing between the rows of lights they hang in bushes and trees. My son points out that the first tiny gust of wind through the trees will “adjust” the spacing. Point to my son.  His boss argues that he signs the pay checks. Match to his boss.  His boss is afraid to climb the ladder, so it’s still anyone’s game.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Don’t You DARE Put That In Our Yard! ...Gina's Favorites Lights DecoratingThe Professor likes the lights to flash.  But, not all the lights.  Most of the lights flash, with an occasional random strand left steadily glowing.

My dad is the opposite. The lights at his house are all steadfastly glowing, save for a couple of random strands, which appear to be having some sort of electrical problem amongst their glowing neighbors.

I say make a decision and go all in, one way or the other.

One of our neighbors has a strictly elegant and classy display every year.  It centers around a beautiful, life-sized Nativity display.  I have to admit that it puts our inflatable Nativity to shame. On the other hand ours never seems to move and watch me as I jog by in the evening.

There is the unending debate about putting icicle lights versus straight lights around your roofline.  People were less opinionated about the Civil War than this issue. Nothing quite embodies the Spirit of Christmas like 2 grown men rolling around on the lawn, trying not to spill their beers, while one hollers at the other, “They don’t look like icicles. They just look stupid!”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Don’t You DARE Put That In Our Yard! ...Gina's Favorites Lights DecoratingA guy down our street is into strobe lights for the holiday season. Woodland creatures gathered in his yard look like they’re at some sort of forest night club. The flashing has triggered seizures in one raccoon and two squirrels. I hate to think what’s going to happen when it triggers them in a skunk. This guy is single. I’m not saying it’s because of his lighting g choices. I’m just providing you with the information to form your own opinion.

Most of my pack argues in favor of multi-colored lights.  I argue for white lights because they’re simple and elegant, and they won’t look as stupid 2 months after Christmas when they’re still up, because we can pass them off as party decorations.

My friend Jeanie’s parents no longer argue about whether the Christmas lights need to come down 2 months or even 10 months after Christmas.  They have reached an armistice on that one.  No, they argue about whether to plug them in every night.

That’s right, this past May, when their Christmas lights (and their giant wreath on the second story, too, but that’s really material for a different column) were still in place, her mom finally stopped asking her dad to take them down, and instead requested that he stop plugging them in every night.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Don’t You DARE Put That In Our Yard! ...Gina's Favorites Lights DecoratingNow, I would normally be appalled by the nightly highlighting of the long past-their-purpose decorations, but I’m thinking maybe lighting those puppies up in May is the right way to go.

The way I see it, although other people may have left their Christmas lights up, no one is lighting them in May.  So, the twinkling colorful bulbs could serve the public in many ways. They could guide weary travelers through the fog (there could be fog in May), or provide a location bench mark for iPhone users when our iMaps poops out (“Turn left when you see the Christmas lights.  Yes. Christmas lights.”).

I need to ask Jeanie if they are twinkling or steady glowing lights.

I’d be willing to bet that the Wise Men argued about which kind of incense to bring to the first Christmas.

I guess we’re just keeping that spirit alive.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What decorations generate “discussion” in your neck of the woods?  Which ones do you love?  Which ones do you hope a freak wind will blast through and blow away?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Are you hanging out with me on Facebook and Twitter, too?  If not, let’s hook up and laugh together today!  And, be sure to sign up for my email notifications at the top of this page so you don’t miss a giggle.

Pause

Pause

by Gina Valley

Poem Poetry Trees Humor Funny Humorous Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Kid Kids Child Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Grandpa Grandma Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Gina Valley Parenting Stillness Sunday Pause Peace Quiet Thoughts

Peace

Trouble flown

Breath savored

Thoughts quell

Harmony sings

Hush spreads

Calm flows

Tranquil grace

Beautiful still

-gina valley

 

There’s something beautiful about quiet.

It’s a rare thing in my life.  Probably in yours, as well.  Even without children and spouses and pets, our world is filled with noise and intrusions.   It’s hard to complete a thought with the constant interruptions.

We’ve learned to adapt, to make decisions and to carry on, in the midst of the chaos of life.  We have to.  Life rarely gives us a pause.

But, I need a pause.  We all need a pause.  So, we have to force ourselves to take it.

I love the feeling of peace in my house when I rise before everyone else.  I can almost taste the peace, as I breathe it in.  That’s one of the reasons I consistently rise before, not only my children, spouse, and neighbors, but also the sun.

My work is essentially putting thoughts to paper.   Well, thoughts to a word processor is, I suppose, more accurate.  I need that quiet for clarity.  Otherwise my mind feels like muddy water, and I’m unable to grasp the thoughts, much less hold on to them long enough to type them out.

Much as I need the quiet for work, I need it even more for me.  I need to have a quiet time daily to nourish my soul.

When my life feels too heavy and the weight starts to crush me, invariably I haven’t been having a quiet time.  I suppose, in a way that makes sense.  When I’m stressed because I’m extra busy, when I find myself well off the path, I’m less likely to take that 45 minutes to be alone to read The Word and to pray.  But, at the same time, it’s almost ridiculous that I don’t take that time, because when I am stressed and busy is when I need it most.

It never ceases to amaze me that I will fail to do what I know is best for me in the long run, so that I can deal with something of short term value.  Don’t tell my family I’ve admitted this, but I think I’m a bit hard headed.

This time of year has extra stress.  I need, you need, we all need to make it a point to take a pause daily, even if it’s just a short one.  We need to sit and listen to nourish ourselves.

We all have too much to do.  So, if we really want to get as much of it done as possible, we need to force ourselves to stop doing it, and to take a pause every day.

Give yourself that gift this season.  Take 30 minutes to sit quietly, alone, uninterrupted.  You’ll really be giving a gift to everyone in your life, because, not only will your pause of action set a valuable example, it will make you a better you.

Love!

-gina

Do you try to have a daily quiet time?  What do you think is the key to it?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Spray Away For The Holiday

Spray Away For The Holiday 

by Gina Valley

Remember when your pre-school kids brought home macaroni frames and sea shells magically transformed by gold spray paint?  Well, that still works.  A can or 2 or 30 of gold (or silver) spray paint  can transform your home, change your life, and have you totally ready for the holidays before lunch.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Spray Away For The Holiday Decorating  Christmas  Hanukah  New YearsWhat, you might wonder, can one spray paint gold, besides macaroni frames and sea shells?

Well, the traditionalists will tell you to blast some pines cones to place in a large glass bowl for an elegant look.  That does look nice, but I say “Why stop there?”

Kitchen buried in crusty dishes?  Spray paint those suckers.  Now you have charger plates each with a custom, handmade 3-dimensional design.  Macy’s will probably call you with an order for 1000 of them.

Mountain of laundry besieging your washing machine?  No problem.  Arrange the olfactory offenders into various sizes of conical piles.  Blast them with your can of magic gold-ness (this might require more than one coat), and you’ll be left with an entire forest of handmade, fabric Christmas trees to distribute throughout your home and yard.  Talk about classy décor!

Got a lazy teen?  Or two?  Do you have to put a mirror under his nose to check for condensation just to be sure he hasn’t passed on to that great messy bedroom in the sky, because he’s been prone on the living room sofa for 22 hours?  Spray him! Don’t worry, he’ll likely sleep through the whole thing and Christmas and New Year’s.  Your guests will be so impressed with how life-like the new sculpture in your living room is.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Spray Away For The Holiday Decorating  Christmas  Hanukah  New YearsCobwebs in the corners make you feel like you’re closer to Halloween, than a visit from St. Nick?  No worries.  A light spraying, and you’ve turned those bug catchers into delicate gold garland.

Did your 3 year old stain the fancy dress your mother-in-law sent her before she’d even worn it?  Gold that thing up, and you’ll take it from “stained” to “lamé -d.”

Living room rug speckled with stains?  Spray paint a large circle over each one, for a festive, new flooring up date.  Or, for a totally new, easy to clean look, spray paint the whole carpet – wall-to-wall .  It’ll  look holiday-delicious and you can hose away spills.

How about your yard?  Landscaping looking like the Munster’s house?  Pots filled with dead daisies?  Brown lawn?  Bent flamingoes?  Nothing a couple cans of gold spray paint can’t fix.  Let loose with the golds of spray paint land, and change barren into lushness, change dreary into opulence.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Spray Away For The Holiday Decorating  Christmas  Hanukah  New YearsNo time to wrap gifts?  Spray them.

Cat make some hairballs?  Spray them.

Spouse balding?  Spray him.

Sagging patio furniture?  Dented mail box?  Dingy guest towels?  Spray.  Spray.  Spray!!!

And, if Martha Stewart or the president of you HOA shows up at your door to complain about your efforts, spray paint her, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Anything in your life that could use a good spraying?   When do you put up your decorations?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Friday Funnies – ovnvt

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvtFriday Funnies – ovnvt

It’s Friday.

End of the week.

Start of the weekend.

 

Pull up a chair, and grab some hot cocoa and the snack of your choice.

Time to get your giggle on.

 

Friday Funnies –

Smiles From Around The World Wide Web

Complied by Gina Valley

Have you fanned me up on Facebook? If not, here’s your chance!  Click on over and hit “like” so you don’t miss a giggle (be sure to hover and select “Show in News Feed” while you’re at it, so Facebook will show you the giggles).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
Seems like a good idea to me!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
Great idea!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
THAT would be very useful!

 

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
Uh oh!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvtYou know it!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
I’m sayin’!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
I need one of these to use at Costco!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
I know, right?!?!

Be sure to visit the Gina Valley Facebook page and to “like” me up.

 

Some Of My Favorite Pins On Pinterest:

Consider this your formal invitation to check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
These are so pretty. I NEED them! If you see a size 9, grab ’em!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
When exactly does the “do whatever you want” thing kick-in?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
I don’t see how this could end badly.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
I totally do that. I can’t help myself.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
I’m from California and that is so true!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally FaceBook Pinterest Gina Valley Blog Friday Funnies – ovnvt
He really should have thought of that sooner.

All the rest of my pins for the week are here on my Latest Great Pins Board.

If you’re trying to put off making dinner, you can check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

 

This Week On The Gina Valley Blog:

My I Know Something You Don’t Know post included my verse Love.

My recent humor posts include

Friday Funnies – ovdvt (a weeks worth of funnies),

Flossing is the Devil…Gina’s Favorites (an unusual gift),

Top 10 Ways To Eat EVERYTHING & Lose Weight (miraculous calorie absorption reduction techniques),

Tuesday Tickles – ovsvt (a week’s worth of funny quips),

Little Stuff Is Big (the big impact of some little things on life).

I hope they gave you some giggles, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina             

What made you smile this week? Did you have a good week?  Any big plans this weekend?  Have you scheduled time to relax?  I’m looking forward to hearing about it!  Shoot me a comment with all the details!

Tuesday Tickles – ovsvt

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Tuesday Tickles – ovsvt TwitterTuesday Tickles – ovsvt

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

 

Momspeak

(stuff I can hardly believe I said out loud to my pack this week):

Why are your shoes on your feet?

Cheese is not worth screaming about.

Who put pencils in the refrigerator?

 

Kidspeak

(stuff I can hardly believe one of my pack said to me this week):

The puppy speaks Spanish.

I’m hungry for TV.

Dad’s wallet doesn’t float.

 

Thank You Thank You Thank You

Many thanks to Krissy @CocoaCali at Minute Maid Mama for nominating me for The Sunshine Award!  Thanks you so much for thinking of me!  Be sure to check out Krissy’s blog for great recipes and fun, interesting posts about life and her family.

 

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Don’t miss a giggle.  Be sure to “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.

Top 10 Ways To Eat EVERYTHING & Lose Weight

Top 10 Ways To Eat EVERYTHING & Lose Weight

by Gina Valley

Tears well in my eyes as I realize this is one of just a few times a year when all humanity joins together with a common goal:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Ways To Eat EVERYTHING & Lose Weight

To lose half our body weight in the next 3 days.

As always, I’m here to support you, my dear readers.

I have a crack team of researchers working tirelessly throughout the year, gathering tips on how to absorb fewer calories from all those delectable delights that are assaulting us.

Here are 10 of my favorites:

Top 10 Ways To Eat Everything & Still Lose Weight

#10.  Have fast food.  Food eaten while driving on the freeway has no calories because calories cannot travel over 50 miles per hour.

#9.  Add nuts to everything.  Any food with nuts in it is considered a protein and therefore has calories equivalent to an equally sized piece of steamed, boneless, skinless chicken breast.  That’s why fudge is so popular at holiday parties.

#8.  Stand up while you eat.  If you stand while eating, gravity pulls the calories down through your body, out through the soles your feet, and into the center of the earth.  That’s why the earth weighs so much. Make sure you remain standing for several minutes after you finish eating to fully reap the benefits of this technique. I think we have all seen people who sat down too soon and ended up trapping all of their calories near their rear-end region.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Ways To Eat EVERYTHING & Lose Weight

#7.  Break your cookies.  Broken cookies have no calories. The breaks cause the calories to leak out. Brownie crumbs are calorie free for the same reason, as is any other favorite food chopped into small pieces.

#6.  Dine with a friend.  Socializing while eating removes half of the calories from your food. So, if you eat standing up while you socialize you will actually lose weight.

#5.  Walk it off.  Food consumed immediately before or after a walk doesn’t count.  Walk to the refrigerator to get those cream puffs or saunter over to the buffet for more meatballs to ensure calorie-free dining.

#4.  Gnosh those leftovers.  All calories in a food are consumed the first time it’s served, making leftovers calorie free.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Ways To Eat EVERYTHING & Lose Weight #3.  Plan to run a marathon.  Any food consumed in preparation for a marathon doesn’t count. So, plan to run a marathon, because, as a dear reader once reminded me, it doesn’t matter if you’re going to run the marathon the next day or the next decade, that food doesn’t count.

#2.  Eat kids’ stuff.  Food prepared or decorated by children has no calories because the kids consumed all of the calories while licking food off of their fingers during the preparation phase.

#1.  Add something green.  A chemical reaction occurs between green stuff and fatty foods that dissolves all calories.  So, doubling up the lettuce on your bacon double cheeseburger or ham and cheese on rye removes the calories. Green sprinkles on your cupcake make it calorie-free, as the green foil wrapper does for Hershey’s chocolate kisses.

If we all work together, someday, we can have a world that is stretchy pants free.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

For more food fun click on over to my No Stretchy Pants Necessary! – How To Eat Everything This Holiday Season AND Lose Weight post.  As always, the extra clicks to get there count as cardio.

How do you win the calorie battle?  If you have anything I should add to my list, please share it.  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

I Know Something You Don’t Know

I Know Something You Don’t Know

by Gina Valley

 

Love

Poem Poetry Trees Humor Funny Humorous Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Kid Kids Child Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Grandpa Grandma Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Gina Valley Parenting Stillness Sunday I Know Something You Don't Know

I stand alone and wait for you

Always

You are there

Thoughts of you sustain my breath

I am because of you

Tears come

You heal my soul

Joy springs

My spirit soars

Behind me trails of your beauty

Before me your light

Within me truth of you grows smiling

Hope flows through me

Always you

-gina valley

 

My eldest daughter is working through a case of the “it’s all about me’s” this weekend.  She was so upset about being required to, not only wash 4 of the pots in our kitchen sink, but to have to do it my way, that she announced that she wished she didn’t live with us at all.

I calmly walked her to our front door and shut it behind her.  I think she was surprised that I did so.  I was surprised I did it so calmly.

After some time alone on our porch, she decided that perhaps she had made a mistake, and came back in and apologized.  It wasn’t terribly heart felt, but that didn’t matter.  I’d forgiven her long before she apologized.

She didn’t know that, of course.

Later that night, she called me on her dinner break from the fast food giant where she works, in tears.  They were being mean to her and yelling at her and she was very upset.  She wondered if I would come and sit and talk with her during her break.  Of course I did.  There was no doubt I would be there.

She didn’t know that, of course.

There are a lot of things my daughter doesn’t understand about life and the world and a parent’s love.  She struggles because she doesn’t understand.  Someday she will understand because she struggled.

Her struggles remind me there’re many things I don’t know.  I know enough at this point in my life to be glad that I don’t know everything.

But, I’m glad for what I do know.  Love knows that Love goes beyond words.  That’s huge.

I wish my daughter understood me when I say, “I know something you don’t know.”  I wish she would truly hear what I’m telling her, so she would get to skip many of the struggles she has to deal with in life.

I’m sure God feels the same way about me.  He’s quite familiar with loving stubborn, rebellious children, too.

Love!

-gina

Is someone in your life showing off their gift of stubbornness this week?  How are you handling it?  Are you the stubborn one in your pack?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Flossing is the Devil…Gina’s Favorites

Flossing is the Devil…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

(You can read my Flossing is the Devil post below in its entirety, or, for you hardcore readers, you can read my Flossing is the Devil post in its original location.

Either way I’ll meet you at Flossing is the Devil.  You bring the chocolate.  I’ll bring the laughs.)

Flossing Is The Devil

Every day I floss.

Every day.

Well, every night, really.  I always brush, then floss, then rinse with what’s supposed to be mouth wash but I think is actually fire water.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Flossing is the Devil...Gina's FavoritesI might be the only person on the planet that doesn’t have to lie when my dentist asks if I’ve been flossing.  I never miss a night.  Never.

Now, don’t go thinking I’m particularly, naturally, dentally thorough.  I hate flossing.  I only do it because I have to.  I wish it was because I was being meticulous to gain the many health benefits flossing brings.  But to be honest, I floss because whenever I skip flossing I have a nightmare where all my teeth fall out.  Kid you not – I really do.

So, I always floss before bed.

Every day. Well, every night, really.

Every night after I floss I get into bed, set the alarm on my phone, realize I set the alarm wrong, reset it, and turn off the light.

The next items on the itinerary tend to vary and aren’t coverable here, but what I invariably do the second I wake up in the morning is always the same.

As soon as I wake up I always rub my eyes.  I know I shouldn’t.  You should never rub your eyes!  It’s terrible for the skin around them.  But, before I am awake enough to think it through, I always rub my eyes.

And, rubbing my eyes is a problem for a whole other reason for me.

I use minty, waxed dental floss.  I don’t know that it’s better than any other kind, but it works quite well with my teeth.  Plus, it’s the only kind CostCo sells.

The thing about it is that wax that helps the floss glide between my teeth apparently also glides right onto my fingers while I’m flossing and stays on them, even through the washing of my hands after I floss.  It remains firmly adhered to my fingers all night long, and, come the morning, it’s ready and waiting for the only thing that will release it – me rubbing my eyes.  I guess eyes are the only thing that can dissolve floss wax, and mine are quite good at it.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Flossing is the Devil...Gina's FavoritesThe second I do it I immediately realize my mistake, but by then it’s already too late.  The minty invisible wax seizes the opportunity to jump from my fingers into my eyes, causing my eyes to instantly burn, turn bright red, puff up, and water like crazy.  On the plus side, they smell nice and minty.

Usually it wears off in less than 30 minutes, but sometimes it sticks with me for a couple of hours.  It seems to stay longer if I have an important meeting first thing in the morning.

So, every morning as I begin my day people ask me if I’m sick or upset because my eyes are red and puffy and tearing.

And, every day I explain that no, I’m fine and that my eyes are red and puffy and tearing because I floss.

And, every day people walk away from me shaking their heads.

What’s up with that?

I guess some people just don’t understand good dental hygiene.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How are your healthy routines working out? Do they make you look sick and tired?  Shoot me a comment.  I look forward to hearing all about it!