gina valley

The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom

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Stupid Washing Machine…Gina’s Favorites

Stupid Washing Machine…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

This has been one of those endless laundry weeks around the Valley household. You know the kind. The moment you drop that last stiff sock and wiggly towel into the washing machine, you turn around to find the laundry mountain has somehow instantly regenerated itself.
So, I figured my Stupid Washing Machine post would be perfect for this week’s Throwback Day post.
Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Stupid Washing Machine

So, we got a new washing machine, and I lost my mind.

Same day.  One price.  I think it was some kind of a sale.  Two inconveniences for the price of one.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Stupid Washing Machine...Gina's Favorites Laundry

First off, because I’m just the teeny, tiniest bit OCD (read “totally OCD”) I had to read the User Guide, the Technical Information Booklet, and the User Manual (which is different than the User Guide.  I guess you aren’t allowed to be guided by any of the information in the User Manual) thoroughly before we could consummate our laundry cleaning relationship.

I think the User Manual was written by Homer after he finished writing the Odyssey, and wanted to try his hand at something really long.  In 4 different languages.  I’m willing to bet that the club of “we who have read that sucker cover-to-cover” is very exclusive.

There is all sorts of interesting information in these fine laundry appliance publications.  The Technical Information booklet (apparently the appliance company thinks 176 pages is too short to call it a “book”) included several interesting (maybe just to me) wiring and mechanical diagrams.  Those will probably come in handy when we’re bored on Friday nights and decide to build our own washing machine from scratch.

It also had a section detailing the different cycles and options available.  Gone are the days of high, medium, and low water levels.  Forget about light, normal, and disgusting soil amounts.  Hot, warm, and cold water?  Puhleeze.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Stupid Washing Machine...Gina's Favorites LaundryThis is a modern washer.  This piece of contemporary laundry art has 5 different water temperatures, 5 different spin speeds, and 5 different soil levels.  Plus, each temperature, spin speed, and soil level is customizable.  And, it’s got 4 cup holders, surround sound, and Blu-ray.

All totaled (don’t tell me that applied math degree is going to waste) there are 1050 different cycles possible.  There are 8 additional options possible after one has “designed” one’s cleaning cycle, for a grand total of 8400 different ways to clean clothes with this machine.

Now, I didn’t pick out this machine, so perhaps I’m judging it too harshly.  I will admit it is nice that it matches our dryer, and it does play pretty songs when it finishes a load.

But, honestly, I only need 3 options in my laundry cleaning mechanical helpers:  So-Disgusting-It-Probably-Should-Have-Been-Thrown-Out, Can’t-Tell-What-Color-It-Is-But-At-Least-It’s-Not-Running, and Perfectly-Clean-And-Folded-Stuff-Someone-Threw-In-The-Hamper-Because-He/She-Was-Too-Lazy-To-Pull-Out-A-Drawer.   Anything else is just overkill.

Well, except maybe the cup-holders.  You can never have too many cup-holders.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Stupid Washing Machine...Gina's Favorites LaundryI also noticed, on page 26 of the User Manual (why does User Manual sound dirty to me?) that we have been using the wrong kind of detergent in our old machine.  We had it nearly 10 years.  Seems like we should have figured that out.  Ooops.

So, now we’ll be getting the HE (which I’m pretty sure means highly expensive) detergent that we should have been using for the last decade.  Immediately, I wondered if we should get liquid or powdered detergent.

On the one hand, I must consider the most important aspect of laundry soap – what happens when it spills.  Powder – sweep it up and dump it back in. Liquid – all is lost and it’ll probably take out anything near it, including walls.  Point for powder.

Liquids are easier to measure accurately.  Accurately appeals to my OCD.  Point to liquid.

Unsure what the performance advantages were between powder and liquid, I, foolishly, consulted the Internet. If it’s on the Internet it has to be true, you know.

In my attempt to get an objective opinion, I had to look long and hard (we’re talking “2nd and 3rd page of Google” hard) to find a site that wasn’t clearly one of the detergent brands’ stooges.  I did finally find one.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Stupid Washing Machine...Gina's Favorites LaundryIt noted that powders are especially good at removing ground in dirt and clay. We have dirt and clay. Point for powder.   It also noted that liquids are especially good at removing food and grease. We have food and grease. Point to liquid.

So basically more information, predictably, made the choice less clear. Is there anyone who spills food on their shirt but doesn’t also get dirt on it?

Having weighed all the options I have narrowed it down to the 2 that make the most sense.

Either, make a paste with the liquid and powder detergents, so we can continue to eat and get dirty.

Or, burn all our clothes and move to a nudist colony.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have the appliances taken over at your house yet?  Is SkyNet closer than we want to admit?  Powder or liquid?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it!

Do Turtles Wear Deodorant?…Gina’s favorites

Do Turtles Wear Deodorant?…Gina’s favorites

by Gina Valley

My pack and I are traveling, visiting family, and just hanging out and laughing together.

This week we’re staying with my parents

As I have planned to be busy being unbusy and unplanned, I’ve gone through my posts and queued up favorites to keep you in giggles while I’m hanging with my pack.

I hope you enjoy this Gina’s Favorites.

And, I hope you stop and take time to hang out with and laugh with your loved ones, too.

Thank you for reading and sharing.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Today’s Gina’s Favorites post is my  Do Turtles Wear Deodorant? post.   You can read my  Do Turtles Wear Deodorant?  post below in its entirety, or, for you hardcore readers, click on one of these magic links to read my  Do Turtles Wear Deodorant? post in its original location.

Either way, I’ll meet you at Do Turtles Wear Deodorant?.  You bring the Ice cream (it’s hot today!).  I’ll bring the laughs.

Do Turtles Wear Deodorant?

Each night before I go to bed, I toss the load of laundry I put into the washer after dinner into the dryer.  It’s really one of those on auto-pilot “do it without thinking” kind of things.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Do Turtles Wear Deodorant? Kids Point Of View But, for some reason, last night I guess I was a little more aware of what was going on around me, because I noticed something I hadn’t noticed before.

There is a bookcase along one of the walls of the hall that leads to our laundry room.  Our turtles live in an aquarium on top of the bookcase.  Last night as I raced by on my way to attempt to get closer to laundry Nirvana I noticed a stick of deodorant next to the tank.

Why is there deodorant next to the turtles’ tank? Do turtles wear deodorant?

Upon closer inspection I recognized the deodorant as belonging to Son#2.

So, I, apparently having forgotten how very unsatisfying the explanations given by children are, decided to ask Son#2 for an explanation.

Me to son#2: Why is your deodorant on the bookcase by the turtle tank?

Son#2: Because that’s closer to the dryer.

This, in his opinion, was a thorough, light-shedding explanation.  He started to head up the stairs toward his bedroom.  I wanted a bit more sun to shine on the topic.  I held onto his sweat shirt to slow his escape.

Me: Hang on a second. You have to explain that or I am going to have a stroke.

Son#2: What’s a stroke?

Me: You won’t like it. It ends with me drooling.  A lot.  Explain.

Son#2: Since it’s cold, I get up an hour early each morning and put my clothes in the dryer so they’re nice & warm when I put them on. I have to put on my deodorant after I put on my clothes so I need it close.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Do Turtles Wear Deodorant? Kids Point Of View Me: Where do you put the clothes that are in the dryer? (note: I always put a load in the dryer before I go to bed, so there is one in the dryer every morning.)

Son#2: In the big basket.

Me: The big basket? That’s the dirty clothes hamper. It’s full of dirty laundry. Why don’t you just bring them in the house?

Son#2: I don’t have time. I have to get ready for school. That’s why I keep my deodorant there. So I’m not late for school.

Me: But, you’re coming in the house anyway.

Son#2: Well, I didn’t think of that.

To summarize:

The deodorant is next to the turtle tank so Son#2 won’t be late to school. (note: Son#2 is usually late to school anyway. Perhaps deodorant location isn’t the problem)

The unending laundry at our house is being supplemented each morning by a child who is adding a clean load to the dirty stuff.

And, if I wasn’t already too busy washing clean laundry, I think I would have a stroke today just so I could drool on that child!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What confusing behavior do your family members exhibit?  Have you received a crazy explanation for seemingly simple behavior?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

I Have A Question

I Have A Question

by Gina Valley

I have a question.

How come bleach is dingy yellow?  Isn’t that what we use bleach to get rid of?  Why doesn’t it “bleach” itself?

Why isn’t there a remote for my remote?

If my smart phone is so smart, why doesn’t it answer me when I call it?  And, why does it get lost so often?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley I Have A Question Un-understandable Thngs

Why do I get the feeling that Siri is more mocking me than actually trying to be helpful?

Why will our dog happily ingest our puppies’ kibble, or even poop, but turn his nose up to his dog kibble?

Why don’t they make showers with those motion detectors that are on sink faucets so the water won’t run unless someone is standing under the shower?  Why do my children run the shower for an hour and a half before they get in?

Why is my 11 year old unable to mention the 15 page project, including costume for him and snacks for sixty 5th graders, about Romania he was assigned 2 months ago until the night before it’s due?

Why are hospitals labeled “Hospital For Sick Children”?  Were people bringing in well children?

Why do baby hats always have pompoms on them?  Is that some sort of security device?  Isn’t that a choking hazard?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley I Have A Question Un-understandable Thngs

Why would anyone buy a bathroom reader at the used book store?  Do they think someone is disinfecting those things?

Why when I order “black coffee” does the server always asks me if I want cream with that?  Is it black cream?

If Febreze is an odor remover how come it has a scent?  Why doesn’t it remove that odor?

Why does the dryer know to break down the night before we’re trying to leave on vacation?

Why, after I just finished putting away $300 worth of groceries, did my teenager just announce, “We have nothing to eat!”?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Got a question?  Or, two?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

 

 

Stupid Washing Machine

Stupid Washing Machine

by Gina Valley

So, we got a new washing machine, and I lost my mind.

Same day.  One price.  I think it was some kind of a sale.  Two inconveniences for the price of one.

First off, because I’m just the teeny, tiniest bit OCD (read “totally OCD”) I had to read the User Guide, the Technical Information Booklet, and the User Manual (which is different than the User Guide.  I guess you aren’t allowed to be guided by any of the information in the User Manual) thoroughly before we could consummate our laundry cleaning relationship.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Stupid Washing Machine Liquid Powder Detergent Cycle Choices

I think the User Manual was written by Homer after he finished writing the Odyssey, and wanted to try his hand at something really long.  In 4 different languages.  I’m willing to bet that the club of “we who have read that sucker cover-to-cover” is very exclusive.

There is all sorts of interesting information in these fine laundry appliance publications.  The Technical Information booklet (apparently the appliance company thinks 176 pages is too short to call it a “book”) included several interesting (maybe just to me) wiring and mechanical diagrams.  Those will probably come in handy when we’re bored on Friday nights and decide to build our own washing machine from scratch.

It also had a section detailing the different cycles and options available.  Gone are the days of high, medium, and low water levels.  Forget about light, normal, and disgusting soil amounts.  Hot, warm, and cold water?  Puhleeze.

This is a modern washer.  This piece of contemporary laundry art has 5 different water temperatures, 5 different spin speeds, and 5 different soil levels.  Plus, each temperature, spin speed, and soil level is customizable.  And, it’s got 4 cup holders, surround sound, and Blu-ray.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Stupid Washing Machine Liquid Powder Detergent Cycle ChoicesAll totaled (don’t tell me that applied math degree is going to waste) there are 1050 different cycles possible.  There are 8 additional options possible after one has “designed” one’s cleaning cycle, for a grand total of 8400 different ways to clean clothes with this machine.

Now, I didn’t pick out this machine, so perhaps I’m judging it too harshly.  I will admit it is nice that it matches our dryer, and it does play pretty songs when it finishes a load.

But, honestly, I only need 3 options in my laundry cleaning mechanical helpers:  So-Disgusting-It-Probably-Should-Have-Been-Thrown-Out, Can’t-Tell-What-Color-It-Is-But-At-Least-It’s-Not-Running, and Perfectly-Clean-And-Folded-Stuff-Someone-Threw-In-The-Hamper-Because-He/She-Was-Too-Lazy-To-Pull-Out-A-Drawer.   Anything else is just overkill.

Well, except maybe the cup-holders.  You can never have too many cup-holders.

I also noticed, on page 26 of the User Manual (why does User Manual sound dirty to me?) that we have been using the wrong kind of detergent in our old machine.  We had it nearly 10 years.  Seems like we should have figured that out.  Ooops.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Stupid Washing Machine Liquid Powder Detergent Cycle Choices

So, now we’ll be getting the HE (which I’m pretty sure means highly expensive) detergent that we should have been using for the last decade.  Immediately, I wondered if we should get liquid or powdered detergent.

On the one hand, I must consider the most important aspect of laundry soap – what happens when it spills.  Powder – sweep it up and dump it back in. Liquid – all is lost and it’ll probably take out anything near it, including walls.  Point for powder.

Liquids are easier to measure accurately.  Accurately appeals to my OCD.  Point to liquid.

Unsure what the performance advantages were between powder and liquid, I, foolishly, consulted the Internet. If it’s on the Internet it has to be true, you know.

In my attempt to get an objective opinion, I had to look long and hard (we’re talking “2nd and 3rd page of Google” hard) to find a site that wasn’t clearly one of the detergent brands’ stooges.  I did finally find one.

It noted that powders are especially good at removing ground in dirt and clay. We have dirt and clay. Point for powder.   It also noted that liquids are especially good at removing food and grease. We have food and grease. Point to liquid.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Stupid Washing Machine Liquid Powder Detergent Cycle Choices

So basically more information, predictably, made the choice less clear. Is there anyone who spills food on their shirt but doesn’t also get dirt on it?

Having weighed all the options I have narrowed it down to the 2 that make the most sense.

Either, make a paste with the liquid and powder detergents, so we can continue to eat and get dirty.

Or, burn all our clothes and move to a nudist colony.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have the appliances taken over at your house yet?  Is SkyNet closer than we want to admit?  Powder or liquid?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it!

The Dirty Laundry Road To Spiritual Enlightenment

The Dirty Laundry Road To Spiritual Enlightenment

Dear Family,

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your efforts in the maintenance of our abode.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Family Laundry Hamper  Floor Refrigerator Door Outerwear Photosynthesis Germs Dirt Letters to My FamilyYour efforts have made our home the socially, spiritually, and scientifically significant example that it is.  To that end, I have considered the rules which were set forth to guide our behavior into a mutually beneficial, harmonious melody, and have decided that some changes and recognitions are in order.

Firstly, I would like to thank you for choosing the floor and not the hamper.  I don’t know what I was thinking with that hamper thing. Your creative use of floor-based laundry storage has been thorough and inspiring.

No longer must the dog waste valuable time in efforts to pry the lid off of the hamper in an attempt to get at your aroma dissipating castoffs.  Now, he can simply snarf up one of your unmentionables from your bedroom, the bathroom, or, especially delightfully, the kitchen floor anytime he needs a snack without risking life and paw by trapping himself in the lid to the hamper.  Again.

Also, traipsing over your outwear, which you have so artfully laid about covering the floor of the hall to the laundry room, lifts me to a higher spiritual plain, as I can’t help but echo choruses of  “Hosanna” each time I trod across your coats and jackets.

Further, I would like to recognize your decision to leave the refrigerator door open at all times as a truly inspired safety conscious choice.  It will shave valuable seconds off of our refrigerator access time, in the event of a refrigerator access emergency.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Family Laundry Hamper Floor Refrigerator Door Outerwear Photosynthesis Germs Dirt Letters to My FamilyI applaud your recognition of the value of all living things, and apologize for my insensitivity to your respect for all life and your desire to preserve and protect it.

I recognize now that your refusal to dispose of things beyond inedible is not laziness, but rather a moral decision.   Rather than a speed bump on the way to a sanitary food storage realm, I should consider you a conscientious objector to the war to eradicate life forms my culture of cleanliness has taught me to fear.

I suppose I must admit that to assume that all dirt and germs are bad is microscopic profiling, and, profiling is wrong.

Moreover, the open refrigerator door is a boost to the science experiments that seem to be growing in the formerly shadowed back of the refrigerator, among the life encouraging containers of goo that you have so conscientiously preserved.  The addition of the photosynthesis opportunities the open door policy provides has encouraged the development of a diverse array of refrigerator based cultures and populations.

I am looking forward to the higher grades you will achieve in science this term based upon the amazing projects you can develop and study thanks to this open-door and non-throw out policy.

Love,

Mom

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Is your family filled with budding scientists and ever-helpful social guides, too?   Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it!

Location, Location, Location: Planning For Your Disaster Area

Location, Location, Location: Planning For Your Disaster Area

by Gina Valley

I moved our pack’s craft table out of our family room and into our living room last month.  The Professor was thrilled.  It’s not that he doesn’t want our pack hanging out with him while he watches the Lakers;Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids children Family Life love caring Mother Location Disaster Area Craft Table Bedazzle Remote Draperies Curtains Drapes Rhinestones Finger Paint Light it’s that he doesn’t want our pack’s art supplies hanging out near the TV.

He really didn’t appreciate it when someone bedazzled the remote.  For some reason its functioning was somewhat limited after receiving a coating of rhinestones.  And, apparently, finger paint does NOT improve the clarity of an HDTV.  Who knew?

So, I took pity on our dear Professor, and moved their table.

I put it in the only available spot, in our living room right in front of the large, south facing window.   Nothing quite as nice as a southern exposure for pure, creative light.  Or, so I’ve been told.  It really is a better location, from a purely artistic point of view.

From a “Dear Heavens, what happened to the living room drapes?” point of view – not so much!

It seems that if you leave the cap off a marker and lean it against a drapery, as my children are apt to do, the drapery fabric will suck the ink right out of the marker, creating Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids children Family Life love caring Mother Location Disaster Area Craft Table Bedazzle Remote Draperies Curtains Drapes Rhinestones Finger Paint Light a lovely splotch of color on the taupe colored drapes, which resembles either blood, barf, or poop, depending on the color of the marker.  This splotch takes on a life of its own and continues to climb and spread up the drape, mixing and mingling with other splotches and grubby finger prints as it encounters them, creating ever more intricate splotches.

It was fascinating!  I know this because as The Professor and I returned home after a dinner out last week and stood in our driveway, staring at the drapes, The Professor said, sounding way too pleased, “Looks just like something from my lab. It’s fascinating.  Really.  Quite fascinating.”  And, he was serious.   He was wrong, but quite serious!

Our tastes in décor are slightly different.  I tend to shy away from having our home look like a science experiment.  But, that’s just me.

So, yesterday I decided to de-science-tize the draperies.  I figured it would fit right in with my “I’m-Gonna-Clean-the-Whole-House-Today” plan for the day.  I just didn’t realize it would change my plan into the “I’m-Not-Going-to-Get-Anything-Else-Accomplished-Today-Because-I-Will-Become-Obsessed-With-Getting-the-Supposedly-Washable-Marker-Stains-Out-of-These-Stupid-Drapes!” plan.

It took me an unspeakable amount of time (and by “unspeakable” I don’t mean I won’t speak of it; I will probably speak about it every chance I get.  By “unspeakable” I mean “all bloody day!”) to get the drapes into their now sanitized-but –far-from-pristine current condition.

Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids children Family Life love caring Mother Location Disaster Area Craft Table Bedazzle Remote Draperies Curtains Drapes Rhinestones Finger Paint Light They are definitely clean.  I have scrubbed, treated their battle scars with stain removers of all sorts, and washed them three times today.  Some of the stains refuse to come out, which is, I suppose, why they call them “stains.”

Compared to their initial state of splotchy, dust-covered grossness , they look pretty good.  Compared with new drapes…, well, let’s not compare them to new drapes.

But, again, it took me all day to get them to this point.  My day of house cleaning netted me only one set of clean but still stain-accented drapes.  The rest of the house is still a disaster.  Not exactly time yet to slap me silly and call me “Martha!”

So, if you stop by, please keep your eyes only on the living room drapes.  Don’t look at anything else.

And, if you have a craft table, save yourself the misery.

Throw your drapes in the rubbish bin now!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What’s your latest uncleanable mess?   I look forward to hearing about it.  Shoot me a comment with all the gory details!

Do Turtles Wear Deodorant?

Do Turtles Wear Deodorant?

by Gina Valley

Each night before I go to bed, I toss the load of laundry I put into the washer after dinner into the dryer.  It’s really one of those on auto-pilot “do it without thinking” kind of things.

But, for some reason, last night I guess I was Humor Funny Parenting child point of view turtles laundry deodorant  helpful  child Moms Dads Kids children Family Life lovea little more aware of what was going on around me, because I noticed something I hadn’t noticed before.

There is a bookcase along one of the walls of the hall that leads to our laundry room.  Our turtles live in an aquarium on top of the bookcase.  Last night as I raced by on my way to attempt to get closer to laundry Nirvana I noticed a stick of deodorant next to the tank.

Why is there deodorant next to the turtles’ tank? Do turtles wear deodorant?

Upon closer inspection I recognized the deodorant as belonging to Son#2.

So, I, apparently having forgotten how very unsatisfying the explanations given by children are, decided to ask Son#2 for an explanation.

Me to son#2: Why is your deodorant on the bookcase by the turtle tank?

Son#2: Because that’s closer to the dryer.

This, in his opinion, was a thorough, light-shedding explanation.  He started to head up the stairs toward his bedroom.  I wanted a bit more sun to shine on the topic.  I held onto his sweat shirt to slow his escape.

Me: Hang on a second. You have to explain that or I am going to have a stroke.

Son#2: What’s a stroke?

Me: You won’t like it. It ends with me drooling.  A lot.  Explain.

Son#2: Since it’s cold, I get up an hour early each morning and put my clothes in the dryer so they’re nice & warm when I put them on. I have to put on my deodorant after I put on my clothes so I need it close.

Me: Where do you put the clothes that are in the dryer? (note: I always put a load in the dryer before I go to bed, so there is one in the dryer every morning.)

Son#2: In the big basket.

Me: The big basket? That’s the dirty clothes hamper. It’s full of dirty laundry. Why don’t you just bring them in the house?

Son#2: I don’t have time. I have to get ready for school. That’s why I keep my deodorant there. So I’m not late for school.

Me: But, you’re coming in the house anyway.

Son#2: Well, I didn’t think of that.

To summarize:

The deodorant is next to the turtle tank so Son#2 won’t be late to school. (note: Son#2 is usually late to school anyway. Perhaps deodorant location isn’t the problem)

The unending laundry at our house is being supplemented each morning by a child who is adding a clean load to the dirty stuff.

And, if I wasn’t already too busy washing clean laundry, I think I would have a stroke today just so I could drool on that child!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What confusing behavior do your family members exhibit?  Have you received a crazy explanation for seemingly simple behavior?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.