Tickles – nnvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Twitter Tuesday Tickles – nnvcTickles – nnvc

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets

that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

Don’t miss a giggle.  “Like” up my Facebook page, and please share it with a friend.

I appreciate all of your support!

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family

NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family

by Gina Valley

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

There’s One Thing NO ONE Will Do For Their Family

We’ve all said it.

Especially we parents.

Funny Humor Food http://ginavalley.com/  NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family  – Read & Laugh All About It!“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my family.  Nothing.”

Hmmm.

“I’d take a bullet for my family.”  “I’d step in front of a knife to save them.”  “I’d scale a mountain.”  Swim an ocean.  Anything.”

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my family.”

Sure there is.

No one, no one, will eat the last 2 pieces of a loaf of bread.

Nope.  No one.

We all leave those nasty things for the rest of our family.

We all reach around that first “heel” to get to the good bread. Someone else can eat that cruddy, first, tough piece. Gotta have that soft, fresh bread to keep up our strength for our stepping-in-front-of-a-bullets skills.

And, when all the good bread is gone, do we eat those last two loan slices?  Those banes of the bread world?  The heels of home cooking?   Do we choke them down before opening a new loaf, as we instruct our family members to do?

Not a chance.

We open the new bag, and go in for the good stuff, again reaching around the first crud piece at the front. We have to be prepared to fight off a pride of lions, for goodness sake. We need the good bread.

Sure, we’ll jump into a vat of hot oil to save our littles.

Funny Humor Food http://ginavalley.com/  NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family  – Read & Laugh All About It!Yes, we’ll wrestle crocodiles to save our sweetheart.

But, don’t ask us to eat those nasty bread rejects.

My family is full of crusty bread avoiders, and I can prove it.

We have a large basket we store our bread in on one of our kitchen counters.  We call it, you might want to write this creativity down and pin it on your Pinterest board, “The Bread Basket.”

Last week, I decided to empty our bread basket to hunt for any green bread.  I knew I needed to perform this check for lack of food hygienic-ness, because one of my kids had been assigned the “empty the bread basket and check for green bread” chore the day before, and had assured me all was well in our bread world.

Nothing ensures that something did not get done quite as certainly as assigning the job to one of your kids, and having said kid tell you that the job was completed.

So, a hunting I did go.

As it turns out, my pack’s aversion to clipping bags of bread  shut resulted in our multitude of bags of bread being kept rather dry, and, thus, green-fuzz free (with the exception of one particularly unfortunate half-loaf of wheat bread I found securely sealed at the bottom of our bread basket.  The trapped moisture in the bag had worked with the bread to produce a truly science-fair-worthy slurry of green fuzz and black goo).

Funny Humor Food http://ginavalley.com/  NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family  – Read & Laugh All About It!The other TWELVE bags of bread (yes, twelve!) were in great shape, if perhaps a bit on the dry side.  But, most notable, beyond their sheer numbers, was that each bag contained only 2 pieces of bread. The ends from their eras. The two rejects from a previously happy bread family.

As I stared at the evidence of our familial bread self-centeredness, my inner Martha Stewart sprang to life.

I could dry out those poor, rejected bread souls, and turn them into bread crumbs for meatloaf and such.  I pulled out a couple sheet pans, laid out all of the slices on them, and placed the pans on top of our stove.  I planned to put the pans into the oven after dinner was done cooking, to dry the bread out thoroughly.

Then, in the after school chaos, I forgot all about my bread project.

As each of my pack got home, they had a snack at our breakfast table before seeking me out in our family room for their daily after school debriefing.

Then, we slipped into full scale homework mode. There was algebra to help with, papers to sign, emails to send, history chapters to read. It was academic overload, but a necessary part of our day and their education.

Funny Humor Food http://ginavalley.com/  NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family  – Read & Laugh All About It!In the blink of an eye, 2 hours had passed, and it was past time to get dinner on the table.

As I scurried about our kitchen, handing dinner components to children to place on our table, I noticed my bread project had changed drastically.

There was only 4 total slices left on the sheet pans.

I was bewildered.   I looked on the floor.  I looked in the oven.  I tried to remember if the dog had been hanging out in the kitchen.  But, I was unable to determine where the stale stuff had gone.

Just as I was beginning to accept the fact that the bread had grown legs, and scampered off of its own volition, Son#1 asked me, “What are you looking for, mom?  I think everything for dinner’s already on the table.”

“I had a bunch of bread on these pans, and I can’t figure out where it went.”

“Oh, well, I ate some for snack,” he replied.

I was beyond surprised. “Why?” I asked him.

“It was on the stove. I figured it was something you’d made for snacks today,” he responded.

“What did you think it was?” I asked, trying not to laugh.

“I don’t know. It tasted like old bread, so I only ate 4 pieces,” he said.

Funny Humor Food http://ginavalley.com/  NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family  – Read & Laugh All About It!Chatting with the rest of my pack at dinner revealed that the rest of the missing 20-something slices of bread had also been consumed as post-school snacks, with the belief that I had somehow “made something” with it.

Some put jam on it.  A couple used butter.  My youngest ate 3 slices dry.

So, apparently, I don’t need to be a hero, and choke down those reject slices.  I just need to get them out of the bag, and onto a pan.

I guess I’ve been wasting all the time I’ve been spending actually cooking stuff.  Apparently, I just need to rearrange it.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Who finishes the loaf of bread at your house?  Is there anything you wouldn’t do for your family?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Back To School Funnies

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School FunniesBack To School Funnies

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Back to School is upon us.

If your kids haven’t hit the school halls yet, they will be soon.

Before you get buried in shopping for 15 packs of crayons or building a scaled Mt. Vesuvius, it’s time to get your giggle on.

 

Back To School Funnies

Smiles From Around The World Wide Web

Complied by Gina Valley

Be sure to visit the Gina Valley Facebook page and to “like” me up.

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 It’s all about speaking their language.

 

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Touché, stocker!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

Old school is hard for the new kids on the block.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

Like moms ever get to sleep!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

That’s just not part of the common core.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

So is hiding!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

This would be funnier if it wasn’t so true!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

Where are the parents’ Back to School supplies?

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

Ain’t that the truth?!?!

Have you fanned me up on Facebook? If not, here’s your chance!  Click on over and hit “like” so you don’t miss a giggle (be sure to hover and select “Show in News Feed” while you’re at it, so Facebook will show you the giggles).

Consider this your formal invitation to check out all of my boards on Pinterest, too.

I hope they give you some giggles, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina             

What made you smile this week? Did you have a good week?  Any big plans this weekend?  Have you scheduled time to relax?  I’m looking forward to hearing about it!  Shoot me a comment with all the details!

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil…Gina’s Favorites

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

And, so it begins.

Youth soccer season kicked off this week.

We’ve already enjoyed the panic of missing cleats, insanity of shuttling kids between 4 different practices, and a trial run to the closest emergency room. And, they haven’t even played their first game yet.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil...Gina's Favorites SportsJoin me in the madness with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil

Youth soccer is the root of all evil.

It seems like the perfect children’s sport.

Everyone can play.  The rules are simple.  Only basic equipment is necessary.

What a lovely way to spend an afternoon bonding with your family.

Except it’s so not.

Having had children participate for the past decade, with many more years still to come, I can tell you authoritatively that youth soccer is, in fact, the portal to evil.

We suckers, I mean parents, sign our kids up for what we think will be a relaxing once a week contest among friends.  We don’t realize until it’s too late that we’ve joined an insidious cult.

The fact that soccer makes us rise earlier than the hockey families on Saturday morning should have been a clue that foul play was amiss.  But, blurry-eyed and sleep-deprived such as we are, we missed it.

Before we knew what was happening we’re handed a stack of schedules:  snack schedule, picture schedule, paint the field schedule, clean out some random guys garage schedule.

We’re given misspelled names to game locations on 4 different continents, and told to MapQuest them.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil...Gina's Favorites SportsWe get a bill for coaches’ gifts, a team banner, practice shirts, and someone’s new car.

It all works together to set our heads spinning before the games even start.

Basically, it’s just a simple ruse on the part of the children’s union to bring us parents into submission.

And it’s working, too.

It’s so much easier for kids to control sleep-deprived, sun-stroked, Goldfish-cracker-fed parents. The complex details and extensive sun exposure rapidly turn our brains to mush. Gibberish becomes our first language.

They’ve got us to not only let them, but to encourage them to run through mud puddles, push people, kick things, gulp Gatorade, snarf Oreos, and scream at their friends, all in the name of getting some quality exercise and good clean fun.

Just yesterday I heard myself say to one of my littles, “You can skip your chores, just please leave your uniform outside, and get into the shower. Quickly.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil...Gina's Favorites SportsEight hours into today’s marathon session I heard myself whine, “I just want some candy. Does anyone have any candy?!?!”

After returning home from another full day of Soccer Mom-ing, I bargained with one of my tiny teamsters, “I’m exhausted. I don’t care what you what you do. Just let me sleep. For the love of all that’s holy, let me sleep!” Every electronic, screen-outfitted item in our house shuddered, preparing for the onslaught.

And, no, they did not let me sleep.

Maybe I can doze during half-time tomorrow.  After my shift at the snack bar.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Has your family joined the youth soccer cult?  Was I supposed to bring snacks this week? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Reasons The Dog Is Barking

Top 10 Reasons The Dog Is Barking

by Gina Valley

They say:  “Pets make you live longer.”

I say:  “It just feels that way.”

We have 2 dogs, Bear and Ziva. They’re 1 ½ years old, brother and sister from the same litter of Labrador puppies. But, that’s where their similarity ends.

Bear is blonde, stout, and so laid back I sometimes hold a mirror under his nose to make sure he’s still breathing. His favorite things to do are to sleep, and to stand on our dining room table, while it creaks and groans under his 102 pounds.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons The Dog Is BarkingZiva is sleek and covered in shiny black fur. She is never still unless she’s sleeping. Her favorite thing to do is to wake up Bear, and to goad him into chasing her.

Until this week.

Ziva has a new favorite thing to do now.

She likes to stand right next to me, and bark.

Over and over and over.

This is not her cute little play-with-me puppy bark. This is not the huffing noise she uses to get my attention when she wants breakfast and it’s not forthcoming.

No, this ear-splitter is propelled out of my furry friend by all 90 pounds of her muscle, and shakes the windows and nearly knocks me over.

I’m sure ours is not the only canine with lots of loud to say. Perhaps your furry friend has a similar habit. Ever wonder what all the barking’s about? I’ve got you covered.

Top 10 Reasons The Dog Is Barking

#10.  She wants to freak you out while you’re home alone

#9.  The cheesecake she snarfed down while you drove the kids to school is fighting back, and she needs to go out to make a deposit or she will make her deposit on the rug

#8.  She already made her deposit on the rug, and you’re about to wreck all of her hard work by stepping in it.

#7.  She ate her carrot and her brother fell asleep on top of his carrot and she wants you to take it from him and to give it to her.

#6.  She saw a raccoon an hour ago, but you weren’t home so she’s telling you about it now.

#5.  There is more cheesecake in the refrigerator.

#4.  She does not observe Daylight Savings Time, and it’s time to get up.

#3.  The hamster is looking at her.

#2.  You closed the bathroom door, and she misses you.

#1.  She just likes to hear herself bark.

Come to think of it, my kids holler at me about most of these, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do your furry friends holler at you? Do you speak their language? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Tuesday Tickles – ndvc

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Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets

that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

 

Don’t miss a giggle.  “Like” up my Facebook page, and share it with a friend.

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

I Do NOT Want A Picture Of Poop!!!

I Do NOT Want A Picture Of  Poop!!!

by Gina Valley

No, I don’t want a picture of poop.

I don’t care how amazing it is.

The two puppy parents in our home, who just happen to be my two eldest sons (“eldest” sounds so proper and dignified, doesn’t it? Too bad I’m talking about poop now), have worked out a detailed schedule to determine whose turn it is to pick up the puppy poop in our backyard on any given day:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I Do NOT Want A Picture Of Poop Dogs PetsToday, I’ll forget to do it & tomorrow you can forget.

Our backyard was starting to look like a free-range poop farm. I told Son#2, who’d made the mistake of being home at the time I was looking out the window at the ever growing droppings display, that I didn’t care whose day it was to pretend it wasn’t their day, he needed to round up those deposits.

Son#2 accepted his fate with a minimal amount of complaining, so I knew he’d suddenly become mature and interested in helping out around the house. Or, more likely, it’d been so long since he’d taken on doody duty that he couldn’t remember when he did it last to complain effectively about having to do it again.

Either way, I was happy to see him head out, shovel on shoulder, bucket in hand, and boots on feet. I made a mental note to remind him to throw out that bucket as soon as he was done. And, maybe the shovel. And, the boots, too.

Foolishly, I went about my business, and forgot all about my poop-processing progeny. I’m not sure how much time had passed, as I was lost in the allure of cleaning out the dryer vent hose, but it couldn’t have been very long before my scat-gathering son returned. He was giggling, always a frightening sign from someone engaged in poop-removal.

“Mom, where’s the camera?” he barely managed to get out between bursts of giggling.

“Why?” I asked a bit suspiciously, and more than a bit afraid of the potential answer.

“I just saw the coolest poop.”

So, there you have it. The one phrase that sums up the essence of what it means to have children and pets, because without them both you won’t likely ever hear the phrase “I just saw the coolest poop,” much less have the fortitude not to run away screaming.

Perhaps sensing I wouldn’t likely ask for further details, my 2nd oldest child and Poop-Czar for the day continued, “What do you call it when things are hooked together, like, you know, those twins?”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I Do NOT Want A Picture Of Poop Dogs Pets“Conjoined?” I offered timidly.

“Yeah, conjoined. That’s the word. You know how sometimes the mini-Snickers don’t get cut apart all the way, and a couple of them are still conjoined when you open the bag?” he continued brightly.

I could not think of a good way for this description to end, but I was too fascinated to run away. He had, after all, brought mini-Snickers up, so he definitely had my attention.

“And,” he continued his tale, “you know how Bear [his 100 pound puppy] snarfs down candy whole in the wrappers?”

I knew I wasn’t going to like where this tale was heading, but it was like a car accident. I just couldn’t turn away.

“Well, he must have gotten a bag of mini-Snickers, because he’s got some major sparkly poop piles going out there. But, one of them is the coolest poop I’ve ever seen.”

I threw up a little in my mouth.

“I guess he ate some conjoined mini-Snickers, because this poop has 3 of them in it, still hooked together.”

I realized I would never be able to eat mini-Snickers again.

“And, it’s all wrapped up in grass and slime and poop, so I think it must’ve upset his stomach.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I Do NOT Want A Picture Of Poop Dogs PetsIt certainly upset my stomach.

“Dogs eat grass when their stomachs are upset, right?  I think the candy upset his stomach, so that’s why it’s wrapped in grass.”

Who says my kid isn’t into science? I wondered if this could this count as his science project this year.

“With that green all around it, it kinda looks like sushi. Poop and Snickers sushi!”

And, now I will never be able to eat sushi, either.

“Do you want me to take a picture of it?” he asked.

This child of mine, who complains that my taking first day of school pictures of him and his siblings is a waste of time, and thinks that taking pictures of birthday cakes is ridiculous, was volunteering to photograph dog poop for me.

I wasn’t sure if he was thinking we should put it in the puppy’s baby book (not that we have a baby book for the puppy) or use it as a holiday card (it did have green and gold in it) or post it to scare people online (finally something truly hideous to pay back all those Facebook friends who put post-op and infection pictures on their walls), but, tempting as all that was, I knew what I had to tell him.

“Thanks for offering,…”

“but,…”

“I do not want a picture of poop.”

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Who handles output removal at your house? Ever seen any cool ones? Do you have a Facebook friend who posts gross stuff? Shoot me comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

He’s Not Wearing Any Pants!!!…Gina’s Favorites

He’s Not Wearing Any Pants!!!…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

With school starting, we’re back in the dancing swing of things. My daughter’s ballet interests means we will be tripping to a ballet fantastic performance soon.

So, I figured my He’s Not Wearing Any Pants!!! post was just what the dance master ordered this week for Throwback Day.

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley He’s Not Wearing Any Pants!...Gina's FavoritesHe’s Not Wearing Any Pants!!!

I have long been a noter of the sexism in uniforming and costuming among sports and the arts and The Avengers movie.

But, I’m thinking about shutting up about it.

When I see the women ice skaters in their teeny, tiny barely there skating “dresses,” while the men skaters  are in long pants and a turtleneck, I call foul.

When I see the ballroom dancers competing and the women are apparently wearing tape and the men are wearing a tux, I call foul.

When I see the women volley ball players wearing a bra and panties and the men wearing trunks and a t-shirt, I call foul.

Why, I wonder, do the women have to let it all hang out, so to speak, but the guys get to lock, load, and package their…uh…you know… package?  Seems like if anyone has to show off their stuff, everyone should have to.

Now I’m not so sure.

Last night I took my daughters to see the Mariinsky Ballet and Orchestra on the opening night of their US tour.  If you’re not impressed, according to dance circles, you should be.  And, I have to tell you, they are truly amazing artists.

I am thankful these talented performers made the long trek from Russia to SoCal, and not just because I’m going to make fun of them here and in future columns.  We saw some breathtaking dance, heard beautiful music, and over-paid for old brownies.  It was an experience my daughters will not soon forget.

But, speaking of forgotten, in the midst of the ballroom scene, a small but growing issue became completely undeniable.  I’d noticed it with the very first dancer, as soon as the curtain was raised for the opening scene.  It’d become ever more glaringly apparent with each passing scene.

Like any parent, I was hoping the issue would escape the ever watchful eyes of my children, but deep inside I knew that it wouldn’t.

I wasn’t surprised when Daughter#2 leaned over to whisper a question into my ear.  I cringed knowing what it would be about.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley He’s Not Wearing Any Pants!...Gina's Favorites

“Mom?” she asked, “They’re from Russia, right?”

“Yes, from Russia,” I answered, relieved I’d been wrong about what I saw as an obvious distraction.  I chuckled to myself.  Maybe I’m just not as good at focusing on the dancing as my children are.

“And, that’s really far away, right?” she continued.

“Yes, very far away,” I agreed.  She was even observing the history of the dance company we’d heard at the pre-event lecture.  There I was worrying about that little issue, well issues, and she hadn’t even noticed.
She leaned in a little closer, “It must be hard to bring all the stuff they need.”

I’m sure I was beaming at her concern and understanding about the pragmatics of traveling with such a large company.  “Yes, it must be nearly a nearly overwhelming task to get it all here,” I agreed.

She nodded and sat back in her chair as she said, “Well, that’s probably why they forgot the boys’ pants.”

There’s the issue.

He’s not wearing any pants.

She hadn’t missed it.  I knew it.  How could I have doubted myself?  No one could miss it.  It was right there.  I was lying to myself hoping somehow it, they weren’t visible from my daughters’ seats, but deep down inside I knew better.  No kid was gonna miss that.  Them.  Those.  Whatever.

Ballet is the only arena in all of the arts and sports that thoroughly covers their women’s bulges but leaves their men’s…hanging out.  No pun intended.

Perhaps, it wouldn’t be quite so noticeable if the ladies weren’t adorned in flowing dresses or ornate tutus and leotards with tights, thoroughly, beautifully covered.  Even the men’s costuming seems to have left no detail unattended.  Except pants.

They’re not wearing pants.

They are wearing tights.  White tights. But no pants.  I think my daughter’s question is valid.  They came from Russia.  Did someone forget to pack the pants?  We have a Target down the street and a Walmart on every corner.  Buy some pants.  Or shorts.  How about a kilt?  Or could you just let the hem out of their tunic a bit?  Something.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley He’s Not Wearing Any Pants!...Gina's Favorites

Perhaps Prince Sigfried’s obvious look of concern as he leapt and twirled across the stage had less to do with the fact that he just married his true love’s evil twin and more to do with the fact that we can all see his royal jewels because he isn’t wearing any pants.

And, yes, the jester is an important part of Swan Lake, but I can’t help but think the reason he got so many laughs had less to do with his attempts at dancing physical humor, than it did with the jingle bells that shimmer and jingle very time he moves being strategically placed near his…uh…personal jingle bells.  The man looks frighteningly happy.  I’m just sayin’.

Pants.  Even shorts.  I’m not asking for a lot.

A few pairs of strategically placed shorts would help many audience members to focus more fully on the dancing.  I’m thinking it might relax some of the dancers, too.  Some of them looked very…uh… tense.

So, now I’m thinking, instead of what’s good for the goose (or swan, as the case maybe) is good for the gander, how about if everyone locks and loads so we can focus on the amazing physical actions they’re performing, instead of dreading the next sentence to come out of our child’s mouth?

Keep the mystery alive.  That’s all I’m saying.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Where have you taken your kids that generated cringe worthy comments?  Shoot me a comment.  I’d love to hear all about it!

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Tuesday Tickles – ovsvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Twitter MomSpeak KidSpeak Tuesday Tickles – ovsvcTuesday Tickles – ovsvc

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets

that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

Don’t miss a giggle.  “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Where Did My Cool Go?

Where Did My Cool Go?

by Gina Valley

I’m not cool.

I realized that today.

I suppose, on some level, I’ve known it for a while, but today it became glaringly clear. Because today, I realized I have become my father.

Don’t get me wrong. There’re a lot of cool things about my father. My dad is a great guy. He’s funny and smart and giving.  I’d love to turn into that part of my dad. But, I didn’t.

….

I’d just finished installing a new kitchen faucet.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where Did My Cool Go? Aging

We’d had to get a new kitchen faucet, because the old one had fallen apart. You had to use a pair of locking pliers just to turn the thing on, water temperature was a gamble, and it vibrated so much when the water flowed that dirty dishes kept bouncing off the counter.

So, we’d headed to our friendly, neighborhood, giant home improvement store (I’ve always thought running water in the kitchen improved any home) to get a new kitchen faucet set.

Some of the faucets were so expensive I wondered if they magically cleaned dishes all by themselves. The Professor took one look at the wall of water wonders, and announced he refused to pay more for this faucet than he did for his first car.

We picked the one that was in our budget, and looked like it could handle having our kids tie the dog to it without breaking off. The fact that it supposedly had an anti-fingerprint finish just made us giggle. I was sure our kids would accept that challenge. They’re very competitive. No faucet was going beat them.

….

So, there I stood in our kitchen, putting away my tools and looking at our newly installed faucet when I heard someone say, “That’s a beautiful faucet.”

I looked around, and realized I was the only one there. And, not only had I said, “That’s a beautiful faucet,” I really thought that faucet was beautiful.

I flashed back to holding the tools while my dad installed a new kitchen faucet in my childhood home when I was a teenager. I remembered him saying, while he polished it with a cloth, “That’s a beautiful faucet.” I remembered thinking how that was further proof my dad was totally uncool.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where Did My Cool Go? Aging

And, here I was, decades later, riding the same train of uncoolness. Today’s stop was “Admiring household plumbing fixtures.” I could only wonder whether tomorrow’s stop would be listening to Muzak, wearing sensible shoes, or buying high-waisted, polyester pants (as I typed that I thought, “at least those things don’t ever wrinkle,” and felt myself drift ever further from cool).

When did this happen? When did I lose my cool?

I related my tale of uncoolness-woe to my friend, Vernice. I told her that I felt disheartened and aged beyond my years because I found new kitchen plumbing fixtures exciting. I wondered aloud if it was because I have children. Had they taken my cool as well as my last functioning brain cell? Vernice nodded along, sympathetically.

“Well, you know…,” my wise friend began.

I can always count on Vernice, and her sage advice to keep me on course. I knew she’d know just what to say to help me get my cool back.

“…that really is a beautiful faucet.”

Apparently, Vernice has turned into my father, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What makes you feel old? Have you surprised yourself lately? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission