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Tag Archives Halloween

Thank You For Stowing Your Ta Ta’s

Thank You For Stowing Your Ta Ta’s
by Gina Valley

It’s that time of year.

Chocolate’s in the air, pumpkin’s in everything, and hoo hahs are on parade.

I hate to be a spoil sport, but if my kids are going to go door to door begging for candy, they are not going to do it dressed as hookers.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Thank You For Stowing Your Ta Ta’s Costumes HalloweenI don’t understand the whole “dress like a ho no matter what you’re dressing as” mentality.  Instead of “The Halloween Shoppe” they ought to call it “The TaTa TaDa.”

If your child’s costume (or yours!) is appropriate to wear standing at Hollywood and Vine,

Top 10 Reasons I Have To Buy More Candy…Again

Top 10 Reasons I Have To Buy More Candy…Again
by Gina Valley

We need candy, and we have no candy.

It’s not like on those days where I want to scream, “I need some candy or I’m going to totally freak out!”  Today, we need it to hand out to the throngs of neighborhood children who will come to our door begging for it.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Reasons I Have To Buy More Candy…Again  Halloween It’s really those throngs of children’s fault we don’t have any candy.  You see,

Is That A Cake Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

Is That A Cake Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

by Gina Valley

I’m not sure which is the “better” part of the upcoming Costume & Candy Extravaganza, also known as Halloween:  the need to purchase the candy 50 times because we have no self-control, or the turning of our home into some sort of textile sweatshop in an effort to come up with costumes for 9 people,

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After Halloween

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After Halloween

I understand.  I know how it is.  You were up late wrangling costumed, candy-snorting, sugar-hopped kids, some of whom were adults.  They wouldn’t sleep because they were too tired. It was single digits before you finally crashed, nearly comatose, onto your own bed.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Halloween Candy Hyper Kids No Sleep Mask Chainsaw Puppy PoodleAfter you dragged yourself to the loo this morning,

If You See Hoohahs, It Must Be Halloween

If You See Hoohahs, It Must Be Halloween

You want scary?  You want to walk around inspiring truly blood curdling terror?  Forget Freddie Krueger, Michael Myers, and Jason.  Chuck Chucky.  Oh puhleeze!  Those are nothing.  Go with something REALLY scary:

REALLY Scary Costumes:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Halloween Costumes Scary Sexy Fun Keys Gravy Boat MapTeenager With Your Car Keys

Two Envelope Cable Bill

Dog With The Runs

MasterCard Statement After The Holidays

Spider (some things are always scary)

4 Year Old With Tape Recorder

Your Daughter’s First Date

Mother-In-Law Pulling Into Your Driveway Unannounced

At-home Bikini Wax Kit

Scary’s not your style?  No problem.  How about something more…er…uh…appealing?