Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday

Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday

by Gina Valley

Super Bowl Sunday is all fun, frolic, and food.  It’s full of cheering and eating and drinking. And, some football.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday Work Super Bowl

The Monday afteron the other hand, not so much.

Let’s face it, the day after Super Bowl Sunday is really Not-So-Super Monday.

Not-So-Super Monday is the ugly twin to Super Bowl Sunday. It’s filled with exhaustion, upset stomachs, and headaches.  It’s not a super day.

The orthodox way to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday is to burrow deep under the covers, and sleep all day in the dark. Not an easy thing to do in your cubicle at work.

This year alone, it’s estimated nearly 7 million people will stay home from work to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday.

Perhaps, you’d like to join in on this Monday morning after-party party, but you’re way too tired from running back and forth to the kitchen for more hot wings to come up with a great excuse to give your boss.

No problem.  I’ve got your back.

Top 10 Reasons To Stay Home On Not-So-Super Monday:

#10. You’re still waiting for the avocados to ripen, so you can make guacamole.

#9.  You have to take Great Aunt Bessie to the chiropractor because she threw her back out while she was gawking at the “boys in them thar tight, stretchy pants!” Again.

#8.  You have to wait around for the plumber to show up, because, apparently, your college roommate’s research into “Whether One Can Successfully Flush A 40 ounce” is still on-going.

#7.  You smacked you head on the patio table when you tried to “fly” like Jonathan Stewart did when he snagged that touch down by propelling himself over the pile of players stacked up on the goal line, so you aren’t allowed to drive or think for at least a week.

#6.  You’re rechecking your computations to be sure the 50 million cases of beer supposedly consumed in the US on Super Bowl Sunday does in fact equal more than 5 bottles per adult, and wondering if you were supposed to have 10 since your neighbor didn’t have any.

#5.  Your cat is a huge Carolina Panthers fan, so you can’t possibly leave her home alone at a time like this.

#4. The “Why is it called football when they don’t use their feet?” discussion with your know-it-all cousin from Caracas turned a bit physical after you screamed, “How’s this for using my foot?!?!” And, long story short, you agreed to drive your cousin’s pizza delivery route for him until he can comfortably sit down again.

#3.  You were up all night having nightmares about that puppymonkeybaby in the Mountain Dew commercial. What the heck, Mountain Dew? What the heck?!?!

#2.  All those giant flowers in the halftime show set off your allergies, and you’re out of Benadryl.

#1.  You tried a bottle of your brother’s bathtub brew, and you’re not yet prepared to be out of visual contact with the loo and its “Super Bowl.”

I’ll be happy to write you a note for the week.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Did you watch the Broncos and the Panthers gridiron battle?  Which was your favorite commercial?  What’s your favorite snack?  Or, did you do something else you enjoyed this weekend?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Dreamstime.com – Used with permission.

Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer?

Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer?

by Gina Valley

I’m a hockey fan. Huge fan. Love it.

Actually, I love all sports. Any sport.

I love to go to the games. Pro, college, minor league – I love them all. Naturally, my favorites to spectate at are my kids’ games.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer? FootballI love to play, too, although my enthusiasm far out distances my skill level. I stink at pretty much every sport equally, although I have achieved particularly awesome results at badness in some.

And, I love to watch sports on TV, even if all I can manage is to have a game on in the background, to catch a glimpse of with one eye while I’m editing something or folding laundry.

BUT,

Sometimes I want to stab the announcers.

I have all kinds of pet peeves with the things sports announcers say. One of my favorites is “What do you think your team needs to do to win today?” Here’s a thought – score more than the other team, Sherlock!

Or how about, “You have Joe Pro Quarterback in the starting lineup today. Do you think he’s healthy enough to handle the job?” No, they don’t think he can handle it. They’re just putting him in to boost his self-esteem. Coaches aren’t so much worried about who wins.

And, don’t get me started on the stupid questions they often ask during postgame interviews. “You just lost 48 to 0. What happened out there today?” What happened out there? What? Weren’t you watching the game? Obviously they ran all over them. They got smashed, dragged, and taken to the dumpster.  Pay attention, Fool!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer? FootballWhen I scream, I mean chat, at hockey games on TV, I am helping the players. They can hear me. I don’t care what you say.

But, when I scream at football games on TV, I am yelling at the announcers. They drive me bananas.

I know they have to fill the air time, and all sports announcers have their mush brain moments (don’t we all, really?), but football announcers have made stating the obvious and stupid into, for lack of a better, non-four letter word, art.

“The pylon in the end zone is put there to indicate where the end zone is.”

Really? Thanks! I’m sure none of us fans at home had figured that one out. What are the yard markers for?

“His foot didn’t come down in the zone, so it was out of the zone.”

Wait a minute. I want to write that gem down.

“If he didn’t have control of the ball, than he didn’t have it under control.”

Hold the phone. Do the coaches know that?

But, there’s one thing they consistently do that causes me to want to rip off my arm to smack them around with. While I’m watching a football game, they constantly tell me I’m watching a football game.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer? FootballWe have a large screen, HDTV, but even if I was watching it on a 4” fuzzy, battery-powered, car TV in the woods, I’m relatively sure I would be aware that the game I’m watching is a football game. I can’t remember the last time I tried to tune into the Rose Bowl, and round about 3rd quarter suddenly realized I had been watching a Yahtzee game the whole time.

Nonetheless, the announcers feel the need to remind me that it is, in fact, a football game I’m viewing.

Last week I found myself yelling at the screen during the playoff games, which would be par for the course if I was yelling at the coaches or the players or the refs. I help them like that. But, I was yelling, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!’ at the announcers.

“He needs to throw the football more. He’s hanging onto the football too long. He is gonna lose that football if he doesn’t pass that football soon. Did you see what happened to the football? They stripped the football right away from him.”

Football? Really? I thought he was holding a tennis ball that had lost its fuzz, and been horribly disfigured in a freak racquet accident. Good thing he brought that to my attention.

Just say “ball,” Fool.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is There A 15 Yard Penalty If I Stab The Announcer? Football

“There is a lot at stake in this football game. People are focused on the outcome of this football game. The coach told me that they are prepared for today’s football game. It is very important for the QB to have his head in this football game.”

You mean this isn’t pickle ball? Well, that explains the lack of paddles and nets. I was wondering what the deal was. Thank you, Mr. Announcer, for clarifying that for me,56,000 times during the first half alone.

Just say “game,” Fool.

Don’t make me come down there!

I have a fork ready in my purse.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do TV sports announcers drive you crazy? When was the last time you yelled at your TV screen? Is it just me? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

And, hook up with me on Facebook and Twitter so we can laugh together even more.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Super Funnies

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Compiled by Gina Valley

The teams are trained.

The brats are bought.

The chips are in the bag.

The keg of guacamole is tapped.

Time for some laughs before we settle in for the pre-game coverage.

Are you ready for the kick off?

Laugh along with these Super Funnies:

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I’m sayin’!!!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

See? You do need math in adult life!

 

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They have their own version of everything.

 

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Office politics are tough!!!

 

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That would  be so cool!!!

 

 Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

How can you not like a $4,000,000 30 second movie?

 

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Don’t worry, Jaguars, Texans, and Browns don’t know either. ;o)

 

Funny Humor Super Bowl http://ginavalley.com/  Super Funnies  – Read & Laugh All About It!

Yeah! What’s up with that?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Not to panic – hockey is still going!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

She’s not so much a fan!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

I hate when that happens!!!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Makes me smile!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Super Funnies

Maybe it’s post-post-season-pre-pre-season coverage.

 

Have a Super Day!!!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you watch the Super Bowl?  Or, do you have another Super activity?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Post-Super Bowl Monday

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Post-Super Bowl Monday

by Gina Valley

Super Bowl Sunday is fun and exciting.  It’s full of cheering and eating and drinking.

Super Bowl Monday is not.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Post-Super Bowl Monday Football Party

In fact the day after the Super Bowl is really Not So Super Monday.  All of that reveling and lack of sleep come back to haunt us, or at least make our heads hurt like heck.  It’s not a fun day.

The best way to celebrate Not So Super Monday is to pull the covers back over your head and sleep all day in the dark.  I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of trouble doing that at my desk.

So, skipping work on Not So Super Monday is an attractive idea.  Judging by the more than 7 million people who missed work the day after the Super Bowl last year, I’m the not only one who thinks so.

Perhaps, you’d like to join the crowd celebrating Not So Super Monday in the orthodox stay-home-and-sleep-all-day way, but, with the commonness of the call in sick on Not So Super Monday phenomenon, you know you need a really good excuse.

No problem.  I’ve got your back.  I’m a giver like that.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Not So Super Monday:

#10. Someone unplugged your crockpot, and you’re still waiting for the meatballs to finish cooking.

#9.  You’re still trying to explain to your brother-in-law why XLVIII means 48.

#8.  You tried to gel your hair to stand up like Bruno Mars’ did at half time, and the fire department has declared you a fire hazard and won’t let you to go out in public.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work On Post-Super Bowl Monday Football Party#7.  You are rechecking your computations to be sure that the 50 million cases of beer supposedly consumed in the US on Super Bowl Sunday does in fact equal more than 5 bottles per adult, and wondering if you were supposed to have 10 since your cousin didn’t have any.

#6.  You have to take your granny to the chiropractor because she threw her back out when she was gawking at the “boys in them thar tight, stretchy pants!” Again.

#5.  You ate the entire bowl of your neighbor’s homemade salsa, and you are not yet prepared to be out of visual contact with the loo and its “Super Bowl.”

#4. The “Why is it called football, when they don’t use their feet?” discussion with your know-it-all cousin from Caracas turned a bit physical after you screamed, “How’s this for using my foot?!?!” And, long story short, you agreed to drive your cousin’s pizza delivery route for him until he can comfortably sit down again.

#3.  You’re still crying because of that Budweiser “A Hero’s Welcome” commercial, and welcoming Lt. Chuck Nadd home.

#2.  All those flashing lights at halftime hypnotized you, and every time someone says “football” you cluck like a chicken, so you’re going to be in therapy all day.

#1.  You pulled a hamstring diving for the last hot wing, and you can’t get out of your recliner.

Let me know if you need a note.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Did you Super Bowl it this week?  Did you have a favorite commercial?  What was your favorite snack?  Or, did you do something else you enjoyed this weekend?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Signs You’re Hosting A Super Bowl Party

Top 10 Signs You’re Hosting A Super Bowl Party

by Gina Valley

Have strange happenings, sights, sounds, and smells invaded your abode?  Perhaps you’re hosting a Super Bowl party.

But, how can you know for sure?

Here’s a sample of the Top 10 Signs You’re Hosting A Super Bowl Party to check for:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’re Hosting A Super Bowl Party

#5.  Your 15 year old daughter, who usually makes deviled eggs with bacon bits for the festivities, announces she has just become a strict vegan.  If you missed the announcement, don’t worry, she’ll re-announce it to every person who enters your home or eats something for the next 3 months. Your 11 year old son will help to make it a smooth transition for her by announcing “Mmmm.  Animal parts!” every time he eats any non-vegetable item.

#4.  Someone has tried to flush that stupid stuffed toy seal you picked up in Nova Scotia, again, and the guest bathroom toilet is so clogged that the pipes are shaking…

Join me over at Dads Round Table for the rest of the Top 10 Signs You’re Hosting A Super Bowl Party by clicking one of these magic links.

I’ll meet you over there.

And, remember, the extra click to get there counts as cardio!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What signs show up in your life when a Super Bowl party is heading to your home? Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Friday Funnies – Super Bowl Edition

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition FootballFriday Funnies – Super Bowl Edition

Compiled by Gina Valley

The teams are trained.

The brats are bought.

The chips are in the bag.

The legalized marijuana jokes have been made.

The keg of guacamole is tapped.

Time for some laughs before we settle in for the pre-game coverage.

Are you ready for the kick off?

Here’s my Friday Funnies – Super Bowl Edition:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
This would be so fun to make!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
It’s important to set goals!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
I think that would be great! The coin toss is so last year!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
Grumpy Cat’s not so much a football fan.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
I hate when that happens.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
Shhh! I’ll never tell.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
Don’t worry, Jaguars, Texans, and Browns don’t know either. ;o)

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
Get it?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football

So, is Super Bowl XLIX gonna be striped-out?

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football

How can you not like a $4,000,000 30 second movie?

 

Funny Humor Football Super Bowl http://ginavalley.com/  Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition – Read & Laugh All About It!
Yeah! What’s up with that?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football

Maybe it’s post-post-season-pre-pre-season coverage.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Friday Funnies - Super Bowl Edition Football
Not to panic – hockey is still going!

 

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How’s your week going?  Is it “super”?  Or, are you getting tackled?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Football Party Do’s & Don’t’s…Gina’s Favorites

Football Party Do’s & Don’t’s…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Maybe you’ve caught wind of a little ‘ole football game they’re playing this Sunday.  It’s kind of a big deal around our house.  I figured this would be a great time to get ready to tackle some Super Bowl watching etiquette laughs with this Gina’s Favorites post. Laugh on!

Football Party Do’s & Don’t’s

Just ‘cause it’s a party, doesn’t mean there aren’t rules.  Without rules, we just have anarchy.  And, let’s face it, as far as parties go, anarchy stinks.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Football Party Do's & Don't's...Gina's Favorites Super Bowl

So, as you’re celebrating this weekend, keep these guidelines in mind.

Do cheer when your team scores.

Don’t chest bump your 89 year old great, grandma.

Do enjoy your favorite beverage or libation over the course of the game.

Don’t play The Drinking Game with ugly ties and men wearing bad rugs on the broadcast as the triggers.

Do enjoy some dessert.

Don’t cram 150 M&M’s in your mouth and try to say “Pass the ball!”

Do hang up decorations in your favorite teams colors.

Don’t go door to door calling your neighbors “Loser!”

Do serve a variety of cold cuts, chips, and your homemade chili.

Don’t serve “pluck them yourself” hot wings.

Do provide a variety of beverage options for your guests.

Don’t serve your cousin Eddy’s 100 proof Bathtub Brew.

Do admire the players’ athletic prowess.

Don’t say, “Now that’s what I call a tight end!” every time they snap the ball.

Do try out your new fondue kit.

Don’t let your neighbor drink the cheese directly from the pot.

Do let your guests enjoy the game uninterrupted.

Don’t turn to the Food Network during the commercials to check out the Chopped marathon.

Do provide a range of arts and crafts to keep children at your party occupied.

Don’t let the children play with your wood burning kit or the cat, and especially not both at the same time.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Football Party Do's & Don't's...Gina's Favorites Super BowlDo groan and protest bad calls during the game.

Don’t throw meatballs at the TV screen when it shows the referee.

Do set up snack stations throughout your home to encourage guests to move around.

Don’t let the dog stand on the dining room table snarfing up your special recipe punch.

Do discuss the finer points of the game.

Don’t demonstrate proper hiking technique using your 1 year old.

Do embrace the party atmosphere you see at the game as you watch the broadcast.

Don’t strip down and “streak” through your living room.

See you at the coin toss!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What are your party do’s and don’t’s?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Are You Ready For Some Football?…Gina’s Favorites

Are You Ready For Some Football?…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

It’s a big week for fans of the pigskin, hot wings, or big parties.  So, I figured my Are You Ready For Some Football? post would be just right for Throwback Day.  Here’s a handy guide to understanding America’s favorite tackle sport.  If you understand children playing, you’ll have no trouble with grasping the finer points of this game.  And, laughing about them.

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Are You Ready For Some Football?...Gina's Favorites Super Bowl

Are you ready for some football?

Perhaps you say, “But, Gina, I don’t like football.”

Fair enough.  Just because 1 out of every three Americans and countless more the world over are watching it this week, doesn’t mean you have to watch it, much less like it.

But, before you relegate yourself to watching the Puppy Bowl again, or reading as a conscientious objector, let me just ask you to think about this:

Is it possible that the reason you are less than fond of this battle of a game is because you find it all a bit confusing and unrelatable?

Come on, throw me a bone here.  It’s possible, right?

Now, I confess that I love sports. All sports.  Granted hockey is my favorite, but football is a lot of fun to watch, too.  But, you have to understand what is going on to totally appreciate it.

Let me let you in on a little secret – here’s the key to the whole American football sport for my non-football-ite readers out there:

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Are You Ready For Some Football?...Gina's Favorites Super Bowl

American football (just “football” for the rest of this column) is like two 5 year olds playing with a pile of blocks. 

It’s just like that.  If you can understand what’s happening when 5 year olds play with blocks, you’ve got a handle on football.

Each 5 year old wants to make the biggest pile of blocks they can.  Their entire drive and goal is to get more blocks than the other 5 year old.  If one’s pile of blocks is arranged in a more skillful manner than the other’s, that’s great, but what really matters is how big the pile is.

Each football team wants to make the biggest pile of points that they can.  Their entire drive and goal is to get more points than the other time.  If one team scores its points in a more skillful manner than the other, that’s great, but what really matters is whose pile is bigger.

When trying to get blocks out of the bin, 5 year olds take turns.

When trying to get points, football teams take turns.

5 year olds get several tries, or “do overs,” in their efforts to make progress toward building a tower.

Football teams get 4 “downs,” which are really “tries” or “do-overs,” in their efforts to pileup points.

If 5 year olds behave in certain ways they will get a time out, which takes them farther away from the tower they want to build.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Are You Ready For Some Football?...Gina's Favorites Super Bowl

If football teams behave in certain ways they will receive a penalty, which, in general, moves them 5 -15 yards farther away from the points they want.

5 year olds will get a time out if they to use certain strategies that would be considered cheating or dangerous in their quest to build their pile of blocks or in an effort to prevent their opponent from building his.

Football teams will get a penalty if they to use certain strategies that would be considered cheating or dangerous in their quest to build their pile of points or in an effort to prevent their opponent from building his.

5 year olds receive a time out if they do something that would injure each other.

Football teams receive a penalty if they clip, chop block, run into the kicker, make illegal contact, illegally block in the back, or face mask their opponents.

5 year olds must not try to cheat when building their towers.

Football teams must not intentionally ground the ball or use illegal procedure.

A 5 year old must keep the bin of blocks in the play area or mom will move it closer to the other 5 year old.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Are You Ready For Some Football?...Gina's Favorites Super Bowl

A football team must keep the ball inbounds at kickoff or the referee will move it closer for their opponent.

5 year olds receive a time out if they throw a tantrum.

Football teams receive a penalty if they have unsportsmanlike conduct.

5 year olds receive a time out if they grab the other 5 year old or keep the other 5 year old from getting ready to reach into the bin of blocks.

Football teams receive a penalty for holding their opponents, for interfering with their opponent’s efforts to get ready to catch the ball, or for delaying the game.

5 year olds are not allowed to trick one another into doing something wrong.

Football teams are not allowed to make false starts.

5 year olds must remain in their proper tower building territory.

Football teams must not commit encroachment.

In the event of a dispute during the tower building, 5 year olds can call in their mom, tell her their stories, and ask her to settle their differences a couple times.  After that, complaining to mom will get them into trouble.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Are You Ready For Some Football?...Gina's Favorites Super BowlIn the event of a dispute during the football game, football teams can ask the referee to review plays a couple of times during each half of the game.  After that, complaining to the referee will get them into trouble.

5 year olds are not allowed to brag about how great they were at putting a particular block on their tower.

Football teams are not allowed to have illegal celebrations after scoring.

See?

They’re basically the same thing.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you love football?  Do hate it?  Do you show up to hang with friends or for the yummy snacks?  Do you have a question about the game?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Do We Lose A First Down If I Smack The Announcer?

Do We Lose A First Down If I Smack The Announcer?

by Gina Valley

The UCLA/Utah game last night had a tense finish, but, as always, I was distracted by the blasted announcers and their inane banter.

“The pylon in the end zone is put there to indicate where the end zone is.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Do We Lose A First Down If I Smack The Announcer? FootballReally?  Thanks!  I’m sure none of us fans at home had figured that one out.  What are the yard markers for?

“His foot didn’t come down in the zone, so it was out of the zone.”

Wait a minute.  I want to write that gem down.

“If he didn’t have control of the ball, than he didn’t have it under control.”

Hold the phone.  Do the coaches know that?

When I scream, I mean chat, at hockey games on TV, I am helping the players.  They can hear me.  I don’t care what you say.

But, when I scream at football games on TV, I am yelling at the announcers.  They drive me bananas.  I know they have to fill the air time, and all sports announcers have their mush brain moments (don’t we all, really?), but football announcers have made stating the obvious and stupid into, for lack of a better, non-four letter word, art.

As my blood pressure is still elevated (which is good actually – mine tends to be on the low side), I knew my Is There A 15 Yard Penalty For Stabbing The Announcer? post would be perfect for this week’s Throwback Day.

You can read my Is There A 15 Yard Penalty For Stabbing The Announcer? post below, in its entirety, or, for you hard core readers, you can click one of these magic links to read my Is There A 15 Yard Penalty For Stabbing The Announcer? post in its original location.

Either way, I’ll meet you at my Is There A 15 Yard Penalty For Stabbing The Announcer? post.  You bring the hot wings.  I’ll bring the laughs.

Is There A 15 Yard Penalty For Stabbing The Announcer?

I’m a hockey fan.  Huge fan.  Love it.  It would have killed me to have no NHL this year were it not for the fact that I’m totally over-scheduled right now and have zero time to watch the games.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Do We Lose A First Down If I Smack The Announcer? FootballBut, I love all sports.  Any sport.

I love to go to the games.  Pro, college, minor league – I love them all.  Naturally, my favorites to spectate at are my kids’ games.

I love to play, too, although my enthusiasm far out distances my skill level.  I stink at pretty much every sport equally, although I have achieved particularly awesome results at badness in some.

And, I love to watch sports on TV, even if all I can manage is to have a game on in the background, to catch a glimpse of with one eye while I’m editing something or folding laundry.

BUT,

Sometimes I want to stab the announcers.

I have all kinds of pet peeves with the things sports announcers say.  A couple of my favorites are “What do you think your team needs to do to win today?”  Here’s a thought – score more than the other team, Sherlock! Or how about, “You have Joe Pro Quarterback in the starting lineup today.  Do you think he’s healthy enough to handle the job?”  No, they don’t think he can handle it.  They’re just putting him in to boost his self-esteem.  Coaches aren’t so much worried about who wins.

And, don’t get me started on the stupid questions they often ask during postgame interviews.  “You just lost 48 to 0.  What happened out there today?”  What happened out there?  What?  Weren’t you watching the game?  Obviously they ran all over them.  They got smashed, dragged, and taken to the dumpster.  Pay attention, Fool!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Do We Lose A First Down If I Smack The Announcer? FootballBut, there’s one thing they consistently do that causes me to want to rip off my arm to smack them around with. While I’m watching a football game, they constantly tell me I’m watching a football game.

We have a large screen, HDTV, but even if I was watching it on a 4” fuzzy, battery-powered, car TV in the woods, I’m relatively sure I would be aware that the game I’m watching is a football game.  I can’t remember the last time I tried to tune into the Rose Bowl, and round about 3rd quarter suddenly realized I had been watching a Yahtzee game the whole time.

Nonetheless, the announcers feel the need to remind me that it is, in fact, a football game I’m viewing.

Yesterday, I found myself yelling at the screen during the PAC 12 playoff game, which would be par for the course if I was yelling at the coaches or the players or the refs.  I help them like that.  But, I was yelling, “Shut up!  Shut up!  Shut up!’ at the announcers.

“He needs to throw the football more.  He’s hanging onto the football too long. He is gonna lose that football if he doesn’t pass that football soon.  Did you see what happened to the football?  They stripped the football right away from him.”

Football? Really? I thought he was holding a tennis ball that had lost its fuzz, and been horribly disfigured in a freak racquet accident.  Good thing he brought that to my attention.

Just say “ball,” Fool.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Do We Lose A First Down If I Smack The Announcer? Football“There is a lot at stake in this football game.  People are focused on the outcome of this football game.  The coach told me that they are prepared for today’s football game.  It is very important for the QB to have his head in this football game.”

You mean this isn’t pickle ball?  Well, that explains the lack of paddles and nets.  I was wondering what the deal was.  Thank you, Mr. Announcer, for clarifying that for me,56,000 times during the first half alone.

Just say “game,” Fool.

Don’t make me come down there!

I have a fork ready in my purse.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What drives you crazy about announcers on TV?  I know they have dead air to fill, but don’t you sometimes wonder if they think about what they’re saying at all?  When was the last time you yelled at your TV screen?  Is it just me?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

And, hook up with me on Facebook and Twitter so we can laugh together even more.

I Am Wondering Woman

I Am Wondering Woman

Youth football plays its last game for the winter season soon.  I’m trying to wrap coaches’ gifts, and I’m wondering where the tape is.

I am Wondering Woman.

I’m also wondering where I put the forms for spring soccer.

Ahhh – the never ending carousel that is youth sports.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Wondering Woman Youth Sports Cheese Throwback DayBetween soccer, dance, football, basketball, La Crosse, karate, and gymnastics there’s always a form to fill out, a check to write, a practice we’re late to, an AWOL uniform to be found, and at least 3 events at the same time in 3 different locations to attend.

Sometimes all the rushing around makes me wonder why we do all of this in the first place.

So, for Throwback day this week I think it’s a good idea, no, a great idea to visit my You Are Ruining My Eavesdropping Experience  post because it answers the question every parent asks themselves at least occasionally, “Why did we sign up for this?”

Here’s a snippet from the middle of You Are Ruining My Eavesdropping Experience:

…I don’t know if that’s his real name, but it should be because Mr. Cheese talked non-stop about cheese.

He started his cheese evangelism with the woman sitting to his right. When she faked death to escape the conversation he focused his cheese-aganda on the man to his left, who clearly wished he’d heeded the warning signs of the ever more distant herd of migrating spectator chairs around him. 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Wondering Woman Youth Sports Cheese Throwback Day

Certainly at this point he wished that he too had made a subtle shift to the positioning of his collapsible chair. Subtle as in moved it to the next county or at least to the opponents’ side of the field (like they don’t have their own Mr. Cheese!).

After the first 10 minutes of this ever flowing, live, cheese documentary I assumed it would be right in the eyes of the law for me to knock him out.  After another 10 minutes I assumed the law would require it.  By the end of the first quarter people around me were starting to gather with pitchforks and torches.  Well, it was really the torch app on their iPhones, but it was still quite menacing, nonetheless ….

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Wondering Woman Youth Sports Cheese Throwback Day.…He talked about cheese through the entire game.  I was surprised he didn’t rush out onto the field during halftime to do a cheese cheer or to march around and make cheese shapes like a marching band.

If you’re going to talk about cheese that much, you better be holding a platter of cheese and a big bottle of excellent wine to share with the people around you.

He had no cheese.  He had no wine.  He was over the cheese etiquette line…

Click on over to You Are Ruining My Eavesdropping Experience  for the rest of the giggles.  I’ll meet you over there.

And, as always, the extra click to get there counts as cardio.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What’s filling your schedule this week?  Heard any good cheese discussions?  What’s the goofiest thing you’ve overheard recently?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Hey, since you’re here, have you clicked that cool box up near the top, on the right. to sign up to get my posts delivered to your email box?  Go for it!  That way you won’t miss a thing.  And, I never give out your email address to anyone else, so there’ll be no spam.

Be sure you’ve liked my Facebook page, too, so you don’t miss out on any late breaking giggles.

And, thanks for reading.  I appreciate you taking time to hang out with me!  Hugs to you!