Just 4 More Tools Until That Free Trip To The Emergency Room

Just 4 More Tools Until That Free Trip To The Emergency Room

by Gina Valley

It was such a beautiful day here in Los Angeles today.   It topped out at nearly 80 degrees.  Flip flop and shorts weather.

As I was flipping and flopping into our house after dropping off the pack at school I couldn’t help but notice our front yard is in a less than welcoming state.

It kind of looks like The Munsters did a makeover for us.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Just 4 More Tools Until That Free Trip To The Emergency Room Spring Garden MunstersThe lawn is post-winter scraggly and sending fingers over its brick border and into the flower beds.  Most of the potted plants seem to have spent the winter turning into bare twigs.  And, several of our shrubs are looking more and more like squatting Sasquatches.

Apparently, completely neglecting the garden is not the best way to get it to flourish.  Who knew?

So, as we will be digging out our green thumbs and gardening implements this weekend in an effort to turn our yard back into a welcoming entry(or at least something less like a haunted house) I thought  my Playing Hide & Seek … With Your Gardening Tools post would be great for Throwback Day this week.

You can read my Playing Hide & Seek … With Your Gardening Tools post below in its entirety, or, for you hardcore readers, you can click on one of the magic links to travel through the magical world of the internet to the my Playing Hide & Seek … With Your Gardening Tools post in its original location on the blog.  Either way, I’ll meet you over at Playing Hide & Seek … With Your Gardening Tools.

You bring the celery (bathing suit weather is almost here, so no chocolate for me), and I’ll bring the laughs.

Playing Hide & Seek … With Your Gardening Tools

This is the time of year when so many of us are busy sprucing up our gardens.  It is invaluable to have the right tools.   I recently came upon a supposedly helpful list of twenty-seven essential items to assemble prior to beginning to revitalize one’s garden for spring.  That’s right – TWENTY-SEVEN!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Just 4 More Tools Until That Free Trip To The Emergency Room Spring Garden MunstersThe thing is, though, this list was clearly assembled by someone who lives in, well, an imaginary land where people speak “Martha Stewart” and put things away where they belong.

I don’t live there.  I don’t even live near there.

I figured many of you live in a crazy realm similar to the one I do, so I decided to adapt the list for us inhabitants of the real world.

I’ve whittled (you would not believe how long it took me to spell “whittled” correctly) the list down to the 4 most essential items, not including the phone numbers for the closest emergency room and bandage supplier.

Spring Garden Essentials Checklist:

(Don’t waste your time looking for any of these items where they belong.  You know they aren’t there.  As an experienced spring garden tool gatherer, I have provided some suggestions as to the most likely places to find them.)

A round point shovel – could be used for breaking up ground or for heavy digging and lifting if you could find it.  Probably it’s somewhere behind the garage where it was thrown two months ago after two of your sons got into an argument about who’s turn it was to pick up the dog doo, and Son#2 popped Son#3 on the head with it.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Just 4 More Tools Until That Free Trip To The Emergency Room Spring Garden MunstersSon#2 was likely in a hurry to hide the evidence of his assault after the split in the skin above Son#3’s right eyebrow turned into something closely resembling a Venetian fountain. He likely tossed the shovel behind the garage because it was the nearest large, opaque object.  Fortunately, Son#3 had the good, although dripping, sense to rush to find you in the house, despite Son#2’s assurances that he would return shortly with duct tape to “fix him right up.”

A hand pruner – is great for snipping off small, dead branches, and is not actually intended to prune hands, despite the fact that it does seem to take pieces off someone’s finger every year.  It looks kinda like hefty scissors.  It is usually found near where a child was constructing a diorama of The Wind in the Willows at midnight the night before it was due.  After all, she only had two months to work on it and couldn’t possibly be expected to finish the shoebox sized project, much less mention that she needed to do so, in that short time frame.

As last minute school projects cause the immediate disappearance of all scissors, she naturally had to use the hand pruners to cut out the construction paper river, wire tree stems, and cardboard willows.  The duct tape is probably nearby as well, explaining why Son#2 was unable to find it to use to stem the tide from Son#3’s eyebrow, because glue sticks also spontaneously combust whenever a child is working on a school project after the stores close.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Just 4 More Tools Until That Free Trip To The Emergency Room Spring Garden Munsters

A leaf rake – is useful for raking up, you guessed it, leaves from the lawn or under shrubbery.  It has a wide “rakey” part at the end that, unfortunately, unscrews from the long handle.  The rakey part makes a great turkey tail or giant Mohawk and is usually found in the tree fort in the back yard or upstairs in the costume box.

The long handle is, unfortunately, quite a bit more difficult to locate.  Most years, The Professor just crawls around on our lawn muttering about how he knew he “…should have glued the bloody handle on!” as he rakes up the leaves with only the rakey part of the rake, after having searched the garage and yard fruitlessly for the handle.

The handle is a rare find, but can sometimes be located holding up the center of the blanket and chair fort in the living room or attached to the paint roller that was abandoned in the shower of the guest bathroom.  You might also want to check that space between the refrigerator and the wall, because it is sometimes used to retrieve AWOL Lego bricks from under the refrigerator.

A pair of gardening gloves – are very important to protect your hands while working in the yard.  They also work well as riding gloves while riding imaginary broncos made of picnic benches, as substitute hot pads when removing flaming roasted potatoes from the oven, and to get a grip on the radiator cap when the car is steaming mad.  Search accordingly.  Be sure that you locate at least three gloves, because if you only find two, they will be for the same hand.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Just 4 More Tools Until That Free Trip To The Emergency Room Spring Garden Munsters

After you’ve found these four basic items most of the day will probably be shot, so you won’t have any time, much less patience, left to work in your garden.  Be sure to hide them where your family can’t find them.  That way there’s a chance you’ll be able to use them next weekend.  Then, send yourself an email telling you where you put them, because if you’re anything like me, you’ll hide them where no one, not even you, can find them.

Happy Hunting…I mean…Gardening!

Laugh out loud!

– gina

Are your garden maintenance tools where they should be?  Who is the best at putting stuff where it goes around your place?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Do You Hear Scraping?

Do You Hear Scraping?

I should have realized something was amiss when I slowly woke up this morning.  I was at peace, relaxed and warm and snug in my bed.  None of my usual “Oh-my-gosh-it’s-morning-go-go-go!!!” kicked in.  That should have been a clue to panic and fly out of bed.  It’s unfortunate that neither Miss Marple nor Columbo was around, because I did not get that clue.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Running Late Post Vacation Work School Rushing Oversleeping Toenails Clippers ClippingUsually I’m racing halfway down the hall toward my littles’ room before both of my eyes are fully open, shouting, “Everybody up! Are you up?  Let’s go!”  But not today.

Today, I took advantage of my pack’s school holiday break, and decided to go back to sleep for an hour.  This would have been fine were it not for one minor detail that apparently slipped my clearly foggy mind.

My pack is not on holiday break this week.

Ooops.

So, obviously, letting everyone sleep in an hour late was something of a tactical error in the ever-raging battle to be on time to school.

Even The Professor, who had the gall to choose this morning as the rare morning not to keep me awake with constant buzz-saw snoring (which I am pretty sure means the whole “Everybody’s running late”  mess this morning was his fault), was late heading out the door, and muttering something about the bloody traffic and what wankers LA drivers are (and I know he was aiming for me, but, I’m assuming due to his sleepy state, he actually kissed our coat tree goodbye).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Running Late Post Vacation Work School Rushing Oversleeping Toenails Clippers ClippingAs I lay in bed and forced myself into consciousness I became aware of the very clear sound of toenails being clipped in my bathroom, and, I noted that my toes were not in my bathroom.  My mood clouded as I realized that my private abode had been invaded by a clipper hijacker, who was undoubtedly leaving the sharper-than-glass, totally disgusting, hunks of hooves throughout my bathroom like a keratin-based sea of depth charges.

My family produces toenail shards that are stronger and sharper than any diamond cutting tool available to a gem master.  Perhaps that’s why they never pick them up. Maybe they think they’re valuable tools that must not be casually tossed out with the refuse. Yeah, that’s probably it.

It was halfway through my trek toward my bathroom to oust the invader that my brain suddenly kicked into gear, and I realized my pack had school today.  I think it was probably somewhere around the time when I heard Son#2 scream at the door to the kids’ bathroom, “Get out!  I need to get ready for school!”

School?  School! Oh Crud!

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Running Late Post Vacation Work School Rushing Oversleeping Toenails Clippers ClippingThen, my natural “Oh-my-gosh-it’s-morning-go-go-go!!!” panic kicked in.   Beds were shaken.  Clothes were flying.  Lunches were lined up on the breakfast table.  Feet were crammed into shoes.  Eggo waffles were shoved into zip bags to be inhaled during the dash to school (don’t judge me.  They were almost fully toasted and had very few ice crystals left on them).

There was panic.  There was rush.  There was screaming.  And, there was an ungodly scraping sound as our dog pushed our sofa around our family room trying to cram his giant self under it to escape the commotion.

As my last pack member was scooted quickly out the door toward his waiting carpool, waffle in one hand, shoes in the other, back pack dragging behind, the dust began to settle.

While I was lifting up the end of the sofa so the dog could unwedge himself, I noticed that 3 lunches were still lined up ever so carefully on the table.  Crud.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Running Late Post Vacation Work School Rushing Oversleeping Toenails Clippers ClippingNow I’d need to fit “Lunch Delivery” into my already overstuffed, accidentally shortened by oversleeping, day-after-vacation schedule.  That was OK, though, because I needed to go out to pick up some body armor anyway to put on before I entered the free range toenail clippings zone that my bathroom had become.  I’ll probably need a Shop-Vac, too.  I’m not touching those things!

Has anyone seen my car keys?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How’d your week start out?  Was it a relaxing canter into a new day?  Or, more like a catapult ride toward a castle wall?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

What Was I Doing?

What Was I Doing?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Water Bottle Shin Guard Shoes Hangers Towels Glasses Fork Dishwasher JeansI reached for my water bottle.  It was empty.

I was working in my home office, which has no liquid supplies, (because my IT guy won’t let me keep any liquids in there), so I started for the kitchen to get a full water bottle out of the fridge.

I passed Son#3’s missing shin guard in the hall, and decided to drop it off in his bedroom, knowing if I left it where it was, it would never be seen again.

While I was putting the shin guard in the middle of his desk, so Son#3 wouldn’t be able to miss it, I noticed the center of his desk was occupied by 3 of Son#1’s big shoes.  Realizing there was a strong possibility Son#1 might need to wear shoes at some point, I grabbed Son#1’s shoes and left Son#3’s shin guard in their place.

I headed down the hall to Son#1’s room to drop off his 3 shoes, all the while wondering why there were 3 shoes.  Shouldn’t shoes travel in even numbers?

Son#1’s room is, surprisingly, usually quite neat and tidy.  I notice as I returned his shoes to their closet home that empty hangers had apparently been breeding, and had dispersed throughout his room in what I assumed was an attempt to establish viable hanger colonies throughout the area.  I decided to help him out, and to round up the hangers and to take them down to our laundry room for him.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Water Bottle Shin Guard Shoes Hangers Towels Glasses Fork Dishwasher JeansSince I was heading to the laundry room I stopped by the kids’ bathroom, just in case there was a damp towel or two that needed toting down to our laundry room.  There was not a damp towel or two waiting for a ride; there were 11 sopping wet blobs of terry cloth busily trying to wreak havoc on our hardwood floor while awaiting transport to towel rejuvenating heaven.  I rolled my eyes so hard that they almost got stuck staring at my brain, while I muttered something about the cost of installing towel hooks in everyone’s bedrooms being money well spent.

While squeezing the towels out over the tub I notice 2 dirty glasses and a fork on the bathroom counter.  I shuddered to think who was eating what in the bathroom as I strung the giant pile of hangers onto my left arm, wrapped my right arm around the pile of towels, and somehow managed to grip the glasses and fork with just 2 fingers of my left hand.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Water Bottle Shin Guard Shoes Hangers Towels Glasses Fork Dishwasher JeansI made a beeline for our laundry room, thanking friction for allowing my precarious grip on the glassware to hold, even as I bumbled down the stairs.  I hung the hangers on the hanger rod in our laundry room, and put the glasses and fork on the counter next to the washer.

I figured I better put the wet body dryers into the wash right away, as I sensed they were on the verge of producing some nasty, living bodies of their own.  Finding the washer full of clean clothes, I plopped the moist mass of towels into an empty basket.

Naturally, the dryer was full with a big load of clean, dry jeans.  I used 11 of the hangers I brought down to hang up the jeans.  I transferred the clothes in the washer into the dryer.  Then, I put the towels into wash.

I heard the washer tub being flooded with water as I grabbed the glasses and fork and headed to our kitchen.  I tried to load the glasses and fork into the dishwasher, but it was full of clean dishes.  I sighed loudly even though I was the only one home to hear it.  I grabbed the kitchen towel off of the counter to dry the stray drops of water on the dishes as I unloaded the dishwasher.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Water Bottle Shin Guard Shoes Hangers Towels Glasses Fork Dishwasher JeansThe towel was stiff.  I also think it moved a little when I reached for it.  Clearly, in the presence of a candidate for immediate washing, I grabbed the towel, and 2 of his nearby friends for good measure, and dashed back to the laundry room, hoping the cycle hadn’t gotten too far for me to add more bathers to it.

The washer was in mid-wash by the time I got the kitchen towels in it.  I decided to chance it and to toss them in anyway.  I like to live dangerously like that.

Seeing the jeans I had put on hangers I decided it would save me trouble in the long run if I delivered them to their owners myself now, rather than having a free-for-all-get –your-clothes session and all of the bickering that triggers later after everyone got home.

As I dropped off the last two pairs of jeans in my daughters’ room I noticed my high heel shaped tape dispenser sitting on their study table.  I’m not sure exactly which words I muttered to express my “happiness” at someone having again gone into my office without permission to pilfer my stuff, but I’m sure they aren’t the kind of words I would want to include here.

I went to my office, slipped into my chair, and put my tape dispenser back where it belongs – 4 inches from and at a right angle to my computer.  I added a couple of sentences to the Unloved Candy column I was working on, and noticed my mouth was a little dry.

I reached for my water bottle.  It was empty.

Sigh.

Laugh Out  Loud!

-gina

Do you suffer from ADHD – Attention Diversion Home Distractors?  Do you ever find you seem to get lots accomplished but not what you were trying to do?  Or, is that just me?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

 

That’s NOT Mess

That’s NOT Mess

My pack loves me.  Really loves me.  I know this the instant I come in our front door, because I am greeted not by a tidy foyer as I have shortsightedly requested, but by an accumulation of debris which is undoubtedly a signifier of their affection for and concern about me, their mom.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Mess Pile Berm Bunker Piglets Legos Berlin Wall Ronald ReaganI admit the ungrateful, negative side of me was ready to holler something about self-centered piglets when I came upon the rubble in my entry way.  But, then I had an epiphany. Or, maybe I slipped on a wayward candy wrapper and got a concussion.  Either way, I saw the conglomerate in a new light.

It’s not mess.  It’s a bunker. A bunker built with love.

This was not merely an arbitrary invasion of random smelly sneakers and muddy soccer gear bags. Here was not a haphazard dumping ground for bent library books, stinky backpacks, and stiff sweatshirts.  This was a berm built to provide protection for the mom they love from any threat which might attempt to enter into our home through the front door.

The Legos that appear to have been lazily left behind after having tumbled out of their tub as someone dashed through our foyer in an attempt to avoid being “it” are actually a carefully arranged early warning system to alert me to intruders.  Who needs WMD?  We have Legos.  The free-range hair brushes and wet socks scattered about undoubtedly serve a similar function.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Mess Pile Berm Bunker Piglets Legos Berlin Wall Ronald ReaganThe way someone has actually managed to slide their backpack completely underneath the rug in the center of our foyer is clearly an attempt to distract any intruder, thus rendering such intruder easy fodder for an ambush.  I know I was certainly distracted while attempting to ascertain what that large lump was, while at the same time hoping it didn’t make any sudden moves.

My visual assessment noted 5 visible sweatshirts and 17 shoes (5 of which had no readily visible mate).  I must confess at first I was quite irritated by the sight of this collection of AWOL laundry and foot wear.  But, I then realized it wasn’t a sign of sloppy beings roaming nearby, but rather a display to frighten off invaders by demonstrating the strength of our numbers.  Clever!

My entryway was not filled with mess and evidence of slovenliness, as I originally thought.  No, not at all.  It has been fitted with a bunker to protect me. What I thought was junk and wreckage was actually a berm built of love.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Mess Pile Berm Bunker Piglets Legos Berlin Wall Ronald ReaganI didn’t look too closely, as I was already weakened by my experience with the front door detritus, but it seems as though there is a smaller, but nonetheless meaningful expression of love building up by our backdoor, as well.

I did what any truly grateful diplomat would do.  I retreated to my office to be out of eye-shot of the accumulation, and called back instructions over my shoulder to my troops in my best Reagan-ish voice:

“Unless you want to truly experience the terrors of war right here in our own home, ladies and gentlemen, tear down these walls.”

Naturally, the terrors of war I was referring to mean a disappearing X-Box, a tactic my battalion was clearly aware of, as the sounds of troop movement was immediate and swift.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Is there any sort of buildup growing in your home? What part of your place seems to be the dumping ground for all that no one wants to put away.  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing about it.  Plus, you can put off dealing with the mess for another few minutes that way!

The Special Joy That Is High School Back To School Night

The Special Joy That Is High School Back To School Night 

High school Back to School Night is a whole different animal than elementary school Back to School Night.  Granted, they both begin the night the same way, with a mind-numbing series of announcements, speeches, and awards presented by an array of administrators most of whose names you will forget even faster

than you forget what they were talking about.  But, that’s where the similarity ends.

The elementary version of Back to School Night includes a relaxed session of 30 – 45 minutes during which your child’s teacher explains the rules and expectations of the class.  Your child’s elementary teacher likely has enough time during the session to give a little background about him or herself, to discuss some of the school’s unique programs, and possibly to even acknowledge that you are your kid’s parents.

At the high school level Back to School Night all bets are off.   Instead of planting yourself in a tiny chair at a tiny desk and remaining there for 30 – 45 minutes, or until your legs have permanently lost all feeling, whichever comes first, at the high school Back to School night you will spend the majority of your time on your feet running.

You will have no more than 10 minutes allotted to each class, with 5 minutes in between to get there. You will find that most of your child’s classes at high school, assuming your child told you what classes he has and where they are located, are arranged into a schedule that will maximize the number of miles covered daily traveling between them.

You can always tell the experienced high school parents at Back to School Night. They carry a backpack and wear running shoes.  Of course, the rookies are a lot more fun to watch, as they attempt to get between classes in the short 5 minute passing time while wearing 5 inch heels to impress the young, single shop teacher.

Son#2 carefully highlighted each and every one of his classrooms for me on the copy of the school map he was given at school, so it would be easy for me to find his classes.  Much as I appreciated the effort,

it might have been a bit more effective if he hadn’t used a yellow highlighting pen on the yellow paper the map was printed on.

Granted, if held at just the right angle
under a light bulb you can faintly see the highlighting.  But, since the school lights are on a timer that is still set to coincide with summer’s late evenings, we parents spent most of the night wandering about in the dark trying to figure out what the braille signs meant.

One woman I passed three times kept muttering something about, “What does DMR mean? That’s not even a subject. How am I supposed to find that class?  I don’t even know what that is? Why won’t he answer his phone?”  I think the janitor had to drive her home.

High School Back to School Night is even more fun if, rather than telling you what the room numbers are, your teen simply describes how to get to each of his or her classrooms.   This is usually the option they select when they don’t remember the room numbers, and have waited until you already have the car engine running to go to Back to School Night to fill out their schedule for you.

This week one of my high schoolers explained to me that, although he couldn’t remember the room number or the name of the building for his math class, “It’s really easy to find.”  Apparently, you just go past the old bike racks (are there new bike racks?) and turn to the right (he was almost sure it was to the “right,” but if not “just go

back and go the other way”) after the dirt thing. Not the little dirt thing, mind you, but the big dirt thing.

He said that I would know I had gone too far if I came to his science classroom.  He didn’t know the room number for his science classroom either, but he was quite sure that the door into it was green (BTW – all the doors at his school are green), and that I’d see Mr. Bones (a full size human skeleton replica) just inside the door when I peered into the right room.

I did manage to find his math class.  It was actually past the medium-sized dirt thing, not the large one, but that’s an easy thing to confuse.

I wasn’t sure what to say when his math teacher mentioned how impressed she was with his ability to remember numbers.  I think I just went with, “It is impressive.”

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have you been fumbling around in the dark this week, too? Shoot me a comment and tell me all about it!

Dodging Trip Fairies On The Launch Pad

Dodging Trip Fairies On The Launch Pad

Now comes the truly magical part of any road trip – trying to pack up to return home.  The trip fairies are out in force.  Inanimate objects of every type seem to suddenly take on not just a life of their own but also the abilityHumor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Gina Valley Trip Fairies Magic Disappearing Invisible Jackets Coats Shoes Car Keys Rocks Prescriptions Glove Box Purse GPS Global Positioning System Laundry Plumbing Washing Machine Flat Tire Charger Cords Electronics Break Out Rashes Camera to think and plot and plan.  And to hide.  They really seem to like to hide.

I’ve tried to outsmart the trip fairies by starting to get ready to pack up ahead of time, but I now realize that, rather than giving us the advantage, this only serves to give them advanced warning to spread their mischief.

Key wardrobe items clearly use this advanced warning time to disappear.  Jackets and coats, particularly those that are the only one that currently fits a particular child, are suddenly either missing or invisible, making it quite impossible to pack them.  All other wardrobe items swell to three times their normal size when an attempt is made to shove them into the bags.

At get-ready-to-head-home time all of my little ones suddenly, magically are under the impression they must bring home twice their full body weight in rocks. Their grandparents partner in this crime by providing them with boxes and buckets to haul their new mineral friends stealthily to the van.

We are always stymied as to why our van seems to have no powerHumor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Gina Valley Trip Fairies Magic Disappearing Invisible Jackets Coats Shoes Car Keys Rocks Prescriptions Glove Box Purse GPS Global Positioning System Laundry Plumbing Washing Machine Flat Tire Charger Cords Electronics Break Out Rashes Camera starting up the first steep up-grade on our way home.  Invariably, the source of the problem becomes clear on the way down the first steep down-grade as the rock corrals tumble, releasing their charges to roam freely throughout the cabin for the rest of the trip, nesting with particular glee and frequency under the accelerator and brake pedals.

Shoes choose right before departure to make a run for cover. It’s unclear whether their ultimate goal is to remain behind or to win at an amazingly frustrating game of Hide & Seek.  Either way shoes have the hiding thing down.  They split up and hunker down, ready for the long haul, or, I guess, to avoid the long haul actually.

Important prescriptions, especially the one that managed to evade us while we were packing to leave home and had to be special ordered and overnight shipped up to Grandma’s house, always disappear from the medicine bag right before our return trip.

The last few trips these crafty prescriptive individuals were located after we got home, in my purse or the glove box of the van.  Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Gina Valley Trip Fairies Magic Disappearing Invisible Jackets Coats Shoes Car Keys Rocks Prescriptions Glove Box Purse GPS Global Positioning System Laundry Plumbing Washing Machine Flat Tire Charger Cords Electronics Break Out Rashes CameraTheir appearance triggered their owner to say, “Oh yeah, I put them in there so we wouldn’t forget them.” Yes, hearing this and remembering the frantic pre-drive off search causes unanimous eye rolling. It also causes the primary searcher to say, “That’s weird. I know I looked there before we left.”  Classic trip fairy magic!

Our GPS will have gotten lost by the time our EDD (estimated day of departure) arrives. This would be insignificant, as we’ve made this trek many times and know the way well, were it not for the fact that nothing triggers the sudden need for the locations of alternate routes, emergency rooms, and off-loading facilities in the middle of nowhere more quickly and thoroughly than a missing GPS.  We cannot leave without it.   That would be like asking for a swarm of yellow jackets to join us for the trip (We’ve done that.  It wasn’t fun).

As I attempt to leave for home with our bags filled with clean laundry, plumbing trouble is always guaranteed.  Water pipes burst.  Toilets over-flow.Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Gina Valley Trip Fairies Magic Disappearing Invisible Jackets Coats Shoes Car Keys Rocks Prescriptions Glove Box Purse GPS Global Positioning System Laundry Plumbing Washing Machine Flat Tire Charger Cords Electronics Break Out Rashes Camera  Today, the motor went out in my parents’ washing machine.  I could drive the 30 minutes to my sister’s house to use hers, but that would trigger an additional repercussion from the trip fairies, either dooming her washing machine or giving me a flat tire.

The charger cords for all of our electronics and computers disappear, but that’s true whether we are on a trip or not.  Those things are always alive and moving about.

Car keys magically go for a hike on their own when they sense it’s time to leave, undoubtedly to enjoy the serene landscape one last time prior to returning to the big city. Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Gina Valley Trip Fairies Magic Disappearing Invisible Jackets Coats Shoes Car Keys Rocks Prescriptions Glove Box Purse GPS Global Positioning System Laundry Plumbing Washing Machine Flat Tire Charger Cords Electronics Break Out Rashes CameraBut, we all know how directionally challenged car keys are and as always a full scale search party will need to be launched to secure their safe return and our imminent departure. This is why I always file our travel dates with the National Guard.  It’s only polite to give them time to plan.

Because I always want to get a good picture of my kids with their grandparents before we leave for home, suddenly, magically, tans fade, sunburns peel, and everyone breaks out right before the drive-off.  I still take the picture, if the camera hasn’t disappeared yet.  It’s always fun to laugh at later.

After the hugs are given and the tears have flowed and the seatbelts are buckled we will pull out of Grandma and Papa’s driveway to begin the long trek home.

It’s usually after we pump 30 gallons of gasoline into our van in the first town we stop in that we realize my wallet is still on the counter by the phone back in Grandma and Papa’s kitchen.

Darn trip fairies!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Has it been smooth sailing in your neck of the woods?  Shoot me a comment – I look forward to hearing all about it!

What IS That? – The Special Joys Of Family Fridge Cleaning

So yesterday I admitted that our fridge is gross a lot of the time, and that I had sought the guidance of an unnamed household guru, today we’ll call her “Smartha,” in an effort to properly combat that problem.  Unfortunately, Smartha apparently lives in a Utopian Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Refrigerator Coils Fridge Clean Dirty Filthy Martha Stewart Tool Brush Maintenance Haz Mat Cantaloupe Tomatoworld where mess and thus children do not exist.  Still, her advice is not completely without merit.  It’s great for a laugh.

If you caught yesterday’s post you’ll recall that we’d pulled out the fridge, “cleaned” its coils, and left the refrigerator in the middle of the kitchen while we went out to dinner. If you didn’t catch yesterday’s post , you should because you get a great glass of wine at the end of it.

Today we will continue considering Smartha’s wise advice and my real life experience. Maybe this’ll help you clean your refrigerator.  Maybe it’ll just give you a smile.  Maybe it’ll convince you that the only truly feasible way to get a clean fridge is to move to a new home that comes with a brand new one.

On to step #2: empty the contents.

“Empty the contents,” Smartha says.  Sounds so simple.  It probably is at her house.  Clearly, she’s never seen our refrigerator at the end of the week. I’m willing to bet that Smartha can “empty the contents” of her fridge, uh, refrigerator in a Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Refrigerator Coils Fridge Clean Dirty Filthy Martha Stewart Tool Brush Maintenance Haz Mat Cantaloupe Tomatomatter of minutes, even while wearing a ball gown and satin evening gloves.

It takes me most of the day to empty our refrigerator, while wearing a HazMat suit and carrying a chisel and a stun gun.

As I am pulling, prying, and purging items from our fridge I’m also trying to figure out whether to keep each item.  I’m sure there is nothing questionable in Smartha’s refrigerator.  Sometimes there is nothing in ours that’s NOT questionable.  Sometimes the stuff in ours is in fact capable of answering questions.

If your questionable items can’t talk yet consider the following as you decide which should stay, which should go, and which should have gone last week.

If you can’t tell what it is or was, throw it out.

If you no longer own any dishes matching the one it’s in, throw it out.

If you don’t remember making, much less eating it, throw it out.

If it wiggles on its own and you can catch it, throw it out. If not, just lock the back door after it makes a run for the yard.

Step three in this simple process, according to Smartha, is to add 2 tablespoons of baking soda per 1 quart of hot water, and then use a clean, soft cloth dipped in this solution to gently wipe down and refresh the inside of the refrigerator.

No problem at all.  It’s easy.  All I need to do is figure out what happened to my four sets of measuring spoons, interrogate my pack until someone cracks and admits they took the baking soda to conduct science experiments in their room, locate a bucket (read: empty ice cream tub.  Buckets disappear within minutes of arriving at our home from the hardware store, never to be seen again.  I’ve actually bought a tub of ice cream several times simply because we needed a new bucket.), and figure out how many quarts the bucket, which is always labeled only in metrics, holds.

I then need to locate a “clean, soft cloth,” which could very well end up being sandpaper, steel wool, or a flame thrower, Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Refrigerator Coils Fridge Clean Dirty Filthy Martha Stewart Tool Brush Maintenance Haz Mat Cantaloupe Tomatodepending on what state of fossilization the puddles in our refrigerator have reached.  A “soft cloth” doesn’t really cut it in our refrigerator.  I need something a bit more weapon-like to show those spills I’m serious, and to scare them into submission.

I might have even substituted baby wipes and a potato brush for the hot water/baking soda/clean soft cloth setup once while cleaning out our fridge when my MIL was due to arrive shortly.  Ok, maybe more than once.

The important thing to remember at this stage in the process is to get the interior surfaces clean.  And, that if all else fails, you can rent a sand blaster at most home improvement stores.

And, don’t forget to plug your fridge back in after you’re done with all that wet work.  I’ve tried using ours unplugged.  It doesn’t work nearly as well.  And, the repairman laughs at you.

Lastly, and I don’t know why Smartha doesn’t include this as a full-fledged step with its own number and everything, everything has to go back into the fridge.  Smartha suggests grouping like items together and designating shelves for the different types of products you keep in your refrigerator.

I do that, too.  For example, the back of the top shelf is for sauces we used one blop of in a recipe sometime in the last three years and haven’t even opened since, but can’t throw out because they’re too expensive.  This back of the top shelf placement Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Refrigerator Coils Fridge Clean Dirty Filthy Martha Stewart Tool Brush Maintenance Haz Mat Cantaloupe Tomatoensures that a bottle will occasionally slip behind the shelf, slide down behind all of the other shelves, land on its side and slowly leak out all of its smelly, staining contents over the course of a week, making it look and smell like our refrigerator died of a stab-wound.

The meat drawer is where we keep cheese we’re trying to turn into fossils.  We also keep deli meats there until their winter coats have grown in.

The crisper drawers are where we keep crisp plant parts until they are not so much crispy anymore as they are a brownish liquid. Then, we set them free.

We use the shelf above the meat drawer for eggs.  Our leftovers are stored behind the eggs until they sprout legs and walk to the front of the shelf and ask to be eaten. The leftovers, that is.  The eggs don’t usually sprout legs although sometimes they do seem to be sending out tentacles.

The beverage shelves in the door are used for gallons of milk and round fruits of all sizes at our house.  When you remove a gallon of milk you start off a pinball like game Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Refrigerator Coils Fridge Clean Dirty Filthy Martha Stewart Tool Brush Maintenance Haz Mat Cantaloupe Tomatoof “Where will the fruit land?” It’s great fun, as long as you don’t mind having cantaloupe guts land on your foot occasionally.

After I get everything back into our fridge I like to stand there with the doors open and just stare into it, gleaming, clean, and tidy, knowing lovely though it is, it won’t last.

The last time I cleaned out our fridge was no exception.  I closed the door, ever hopeful that the clean would last.  It shut with an odd “splosh” sound that both piqued my curiosity and filled me with a sense of dread.

I slowly re-opened the door to find what looked to be a CSI crime scene.  Red was splattered up the walls, throughout the interior and across the gallons of milk in the door.  I followed the splatter pattern down until I found the victim crammed part way under the lower crisper drawer, an obvious “death by squishing between door shelves and crisper handle” victim.

I wasn’t surprised.  After all, it’s always something.

But, I was upset.  I nearly cried.  That was my last non-liquefied, non-fuzzy tomato!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How much personality does your fridge have? I look forward to hearing all about it, so please shoot me a comment!

If You Don’t Clean Your Refrigerator Coils You Will Die

If You Don’t Clean Your Refrigerator Coils You Will Die

Our fridge is gross most of the time.  The interval between just got cleaned and just turned disgusting is measurable in increments smaller than the differences in Olympic time trial running times.  It’s like I shut the door on a sparkling clean family fridgeHumor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Refrigerator Fridge Coils Clean Dirty Filthy Martha Stewart Vacuum Crevice tool Brush Circuit Breaker Fuse Box Cobwebs Racoon Broom Handle Stick Maintenance Apple Juice and open two seconds later to find a frat house appliance.  It’s scary.  It’s frightening. It’s probably my fault.  I’m the mom.  Everything is our fault, right?

So I asked myself, what could I do to try to combat this?  I wondered if perhaps I was simply cleaning it wrong.  Maybe it isn’t truly clean when I clean it and that’s why it gets nasty so quickly.   Maybe the jump from my sanitizing perfection to grossness isn’t as big as I think.

So, I decided to consult an expert.  Someone who knows fridges.  Someone who wouldn’t even call them “fridges.”  A true expert on everything, including refrigerators.

I’m not gonna say who it is, but her name rhymes with “Bartha.”

I don’t actually have Bartha’s phone number, but, thanks to the internet, I was able to search out whether Bartha had any opinions about refrigerator cleaning.  Turns out she does have some opinions.  Actually, turns out she has books, articles, and an entire research staff devoted to the proper methods to care for, stroke, and maintain a refrigerator.  And, big surprise, turns out I was not, according to Bartha, caring for my fridge, I mean, refrigerator properly.

I thought I would share some of Bartha’s Utopian suggestions and my real-life experience with you.  I hope this helps you.  It probably won’t, but here goes anyway!

Bartha’s Advice:  First, a quick and simple step – dust the refrigerator coils: Turn off the power at the circuit breaker or fuse box. Clean coils Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Refrigerator Fridge Coils Clean Dirty Filthy Martha Stewart Vacuum Crevice tool Brush Circuit Breaker Fuse Box Cobwebs Racoon Broom Handle Stick Maintenance Apple Juicewith the crevice attachment of a vacuum or a specialty refrigerator-coil brush.

Gina’s Advice: Well, Bartha’s advice sounds simple enough.  I think it’s so cute that Bartha thinks things can be simple!  Personally, “simple” just doesn’t show up in my life too often unless it’s referring to someone at the other end of a call I’m placing for help to a customer service line.

First off, I’m too big a chicken to go through the cobwebs to get to our circuit breaker box.  And, even if I wasn’t, I’m pretty sure we’ve labeled all the circuits….incorrectly!

Also, I have no idea where our crevice attachment for our vacuum is.  Actually, I’m not entirely sure where the vacuum is.  I know we have a vacuum.  I stub my toe on it frequently when it’s playing hide & seek and has laundry draped over it.

I know we don’t have a “specialty refrigerator-coil brush,” and, although I’m sure I could order one from the Bartha Btewart Syndicate, I know it would just end up being another substitute la crosse racquet or stick or whatever those are supposed to be called.

So, Bartha’s quick and easy “clean the coils” maintenance project wasn’t so much quick or easy around my house, unless if by quick and easy you mean an incredibly complex, arduous all day task.  But, since I’m sure there is a very good reason to do it, I pushed on and encourage you to do likewise, for laughs if for no other reason.

First, use the wooden handle from the broom that the kids lost the sweepy part of to attempt to unwedge the Legos from under the wheels under the refrigerator (There’s wheels under there.  Honest!).Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Refrigerator Fridge Coils Clean Dirty Filthy Martha Stewart Vacuum Crevice tool Brush Circuit Breaker Fuse Box Cobwebs Racoon Broom Handle Stick Maintenance Apple Juice  Brace yourself in the sticky dried apple juice splotch in front of the fridge for traction, and pull the refrigerator straight out.  You will likely be pelted by cereal boxes and that punch bowl you store on top of the fridge.  Sorry!  I should have suggested you move those first.

Continue pulling until you are pinned between the fridge and the sink.  Then, after you unwedge yourself, wiggle behind the refrigerator and unplug it.  If you can’t get back there wrap the wooden broom handle in the cord and yank it out of the wall.  Remember: you have to be able to plug that sucker back in, so be prepared to get all MacGyver on its arse with some bubblegum, duct tape, and a clothes pin when you’re done cleaning.

Now you will need to locate the coils.  They are usually underneath the fridge, but they are on the back of some models.  You’ll have no trouble spotting them.  They’ll look like a fuzzy raccoon has wedged itself under your fridge.

Using the your vacuum hose, hopefully with the crevice tool attached to increase suction, or, if you are extra fantastic, with one of Bartha’s fancy, schmancy specialty refrigerator coil brushes attached,Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Refrigerator Fridge Coils Clean Dirty Filthy Martha Stewart Vacuum Crevice tool Brush Circuit Breaker Fuse Box Cobwebs Racoon Broom Handle Stick Maintenance Apple Juice suck the fur right off of that “raccoon.”  If that doesn’t work, just try yelling at the mess. I’ve found that often works to scare it away.

Now, just look at those beautiful coils!  Don’t you feel enlightened now that you have the cleanest refrigerator coils in the neighborhood?  Breathe deep the air of clean coil superiority!  Are you feeling Bartha-esque?

We will stop here for today and let you bask in your clean coil glory.  Tomorrow we will continue on our journey toward clean fridge Nirvana.

In the meantime leave the fridge in the middle of your kitchen like that so your family will know you have been working hard and have undergone a traumatic cleaning incident worthy of a night of dinner out.  And, a great glass of wine.  Or two.  And, a cupcake!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What makes you feel Bartha-esque? Or, the opposite?  Shoot me a comment – I look forward to hearing all about it!

Playing Hide & Seek … With Your Gardening Tools

Playing Hide & Seek … With Your Gardening Tools

by Gina Valley

This is the time of year when so many of us are busy sprucing up our gardens.  It is invaluable to have the right tools.   I recently came upon a supposedly helpful list of twenty-seven essential items to assemble prior to beginning to revitalize one’s garden for spring.  That’s right – TWENTY-SEVEN!

Humor Funny Parenting gardening tools finding hunting locating organization hide and seek shovel rake pruner gloves Martha Stewart Moms Dads Kids children Family Life love

The thing is, though, this list was clearly assembled by someone who lives in, well, an imaginary land where people speak “Martha Stewart” and put things away where they belong.

I don’t live there.  I don’t even live near there.

I figured many of you live in a crazy realm similar to the one I do, so I decided to adapt the list for us inhabitants of the real world.

I’ve whittled (you would not believe how long it took me to spell “whittled” correctly) the list down to the 4 most essential items, not including the phone numbers for the closest emergency room and bandage supplier.

Spring Garden Essentials Checklist:

(Don’t waste your time looking for any of these items where they belong.  You know they aren’t there.  As an experienced spring garden tool gatherer, I have provided some suggestions as to the most likely places to find them.)

A round point shovel – could be used for breaking up ground or for heavy digging and lifting if you could find it.  Probably it’s somewhere behind the garage where it was thrown two months ago after two of your sons got into an argument about who’s turn it was to pick up the dog doo, and Son#2 popped Son#3 on the head with it.

Son#2 was likely in a hurry to hide the evidence of his assault after the split in the skin above Son#3’s right eyebrow turned into something closely resembling a Venetian fountain. He likely tossed the shovel behind the garage because it was the nearest large, opaque object.  Fortunately, Son#3 had the good, although dripping, sense to rush to find you in the house, despite Son#2’s assurances that he would return shortly with duct tape to “fix him right up.”

A hand pruner – is great for snipping off small, dead branches, and is not actually intended to prune hands, despite the fact that it does seem to take pieces off someone’s finger every year.  It looks kinda like hefty scissors.  It is usually found near where a child was constructing a diorama of The Wind in the Willows at midnight the night before it was due.  After all,  she only had two months to work on it and couldn’t possibly be expected to finish the shoebox sized project, much less mention that she needed to do so, in that short time frame.

As last minute school projects cause the immediate disappearance of all scissors, she naturally had to use the hand pruners to cut out the construction paper river, wire tree stems, and cardboard willows.  The duct Humor Funny Parenting gardening tools finding hunting locating organization hide and seek shovel rake pruner gloves Martha Stewart Moms Dads Kids children Family Life lovetape is probably nearby as well, explaining why Son#2 was unable to find it to use to stem the tide from Son#3’s eyebrow, because glue sticks also spontaneously combust whenever a child is working on a school project after the stores close.

A leaf rake – is useful for raking up, you guessed it, leaves from the lawn or under shrubbery.  It has a wide “rakey” part at the end that, unfortunately, unscrews from the long handle.  The rakey part makes a great turkey tail or giant Mohawk and is usually found in the tree fort in the back yard or upstairs in the costume box.

The long handle is, unfortunately, quite a bit more difficult to locate.  Most years, The Professor just crawls around on our lawn muttering about how he knew he “…should have glued the bloody handle on!” as he rakes up the leaves with only the rakey part of the rake, after having searched the garage and yard fruitlessly for the handle.

The handle is a rare find, but can sometimes be located holding up the center of the blanket and chair fort in the living room or attached to the paint roller that was abandoned in the shower of the guest bathroom.  You might also want to check that space between the refrigerator and the wall, because it is sometimes used to retrieve AWOL Lego bricks from under the refrigerator.

A pair of gardening gloves – are very important to protect your hands while working in the yard.  They also work well as riding gloves while riding imaginary broncos made of picnic benches, as substitute hot pads when removing flaming roasted potatoes from the oven, and to get a grip on the radiator cap when the car is steaming mad.  Search accordingly.  Be sure that you locate at least three gloves, because if you only find two, they will be for the same hand.

After you’ve found these four basic items most of the day will probably be shot, so you won’t have any time, much less patience, left to work in your garden.  Be sure to hide them where your family can’t find them.  That way there’s a chance you’ll be able to use them next weekend.  Then, send yourself an email telling you where you put them, because if you’re anything like me, you’ll hide them where no one, not even you, can find them.

Happy Hunting…I mean…Gardening!

Laugh out loud!

– gina

What’s the most unusual place you’ve found a gardening essential?  Who puts stuff where it goes at in your neck of the woods?  Shoot me a comment.  I’d love to hear all about it!

 

 

Gooey Trash Ed

Gooey Trash Ed

by Gina Valley

Dear Children:

I appreciate the fact that one of you was conscientious enough to toss the rotten mayonnaise into the kitchen trashcan.

In the past I have found that you tend to allow rotten things to continue to ferment buried Humor Funny Parenting trash garbage mayo mayonnaise Miracle Whip gooey mess kitchen trashcan helpful tossing throw out away child Moms Dads Kids children Family Life loveon the counter, hidden in the cupboard, or lost deep in the fridge until they are either able to speak or run about unaided.

This change is a positive one.

I would like to humbly suggest that in the future you consider placing the top back on containers of smelly goo prior to tossing them into the receptacle, as the ensuing explosion is not terribly attractive to the eye or the nose.

Also, please feel free to check that there is a trash bag lining the can next time prior to setting the viscous near-life form free.   Some things simply will not wash off and refuse to be scared away.

If you need me this afternoon, I will be out buying a new kitchen trash can.

Oh, and by the way, that wasn’t mayonnaise and it wasn’t rotten.  It was the brand new jar of Miracle Whip I bought yesterday for your dad and it is supposed to taste that way.

Love,

Mom

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Anyone made an “interesting” deposit into your kitchen trash?  Who is in charge of cleaning up goo at your house?  Shoot me a comment.  I look forward to hearing all about it.