Friday Funnies – cnvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvcFriday Funnies – cnvc

It’s Friday.

End of the week. Start of the weekend.

Pull up a chair & grab your favorite frosty beverage.

Time to get your giggle on.

 

Friday Funnies –

Smiles From Around The World Wide Web

Complied by Gina Valley

Have you fanned me up on Facebook? If not, here’s your chance!  Click on over and hit “like” so you don’t miss a giggle (be sure to hover and select “Show in News Feed” while you’re at it, so Facebook will show you the giggles).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

That’s gonna leave a mark.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 Extreme caution!!!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 I need this on a t-shirt, to warn people.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 My hero!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 Well, that doesn’t seem right.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

I don’t think I’m winning.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 But, I hate those flying monkeys!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 That’s for sure!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 All parents face difficulties!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

Sounds fair.

 

Be sure to visit the Gina Valley Facebook page and to “like” me up.

 

Some Of My Favorite Pins On Pinterest:

Consider this your formal invitation to check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 I know, right?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 I like Lee Dixon’s attitude!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 VERY carefully planned.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

It is so hard to find a flattering bathing suit.

 

All the rest of my pins for the week are here on my Latest Great Pins Board.

If you’re trying to put off making dinner, you can check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

 

This Week On The Gina Valley Blog:

My recent humor posts include

Friday Funnies – cdvc (a weeks worth of funnies),

Top 10 Things I DON’T Want For Mother’s Day (it’s the LACK of thought that counts),

Tuesday Tickles – csvc (a week’s worth of funny quips),

What I Want For Mother’s Day (the best gifts are tough to wrap),

Where’s My Sparkly?…Gina’s Favorites (an unusual gift).

I hope they gave you some giggles, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina             

What made you smile this week? Did you have a good week?  Any big plans this weekend?  Have you scheduled time to relax?  I’m looking forward to hearing about it!  Shoot me a comment with all the details!

Where’s My Sparkly?…Gina’s Favorites

Where’s My Sparkly?…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Since so many of us are busily searching for the perfect Mother’s Day gift for the moms in our life, I figured my Where’s My Sparkly? post would be perfect for Throwback Day this week.

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Where’s My Sparkly?

I’m a bit distressed this morning because I can’t find the little velvet-covered jewelry box that holds my favorite sparkly.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift I keep it in my big china hutch in our dining room.

Yes, I know that’s strange.

What kind of nut keeps a jewelry box in the dining room?  This kind.

I received the tiny, blue velvet-covered hinged box with the shiny treasure inside it for Mothers’ Day from the Professor a couple years ago.  I treasure it.  It’s one of my favorite gifts.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that celebratory days, particularly Mothers’ Day, seem to have degraded into a battle over gifting styles.

Personally, I don’t understand what the big problem is.  If you’re a kid, make something.  Anything.  She’ll love it and keep it forever.

If you’re an adult, think about what she likes.  Give her something you know she likes.  If you don’t know what she likes, either ask her, or re-evaluate your relationship to figure out how you don’t know what someone you are supposedly close to wants.

No big deal.

That being said, however, The Professor does not agree.

He finds gift selection and giving mind boggling, despite the fact we’ve known each other for 2 decades.  I have to admit that my life partner is, in general the worst with gifts.

I think it was Lucy Ricardo who said, “It’s not the gift, it’s the lack of thought behind it that counts.”  I live that.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift But, sometimes he has a moment of inspiration, and not only gets me a gift, but gets something I’ll love.  Like the year he had his classes do group projects for a week, so he could spend every second working on crafting a bouquet of red duct tape roses for me.  The effort was the gift.  I treasure those everlasting flowers because of it.

Or, this year, when he picked out a stunning necklace well in advance of Mothers’ Day (because I will be performing on Mothers’ Day) that’s just my style.

Or, the year he gave me the sparkly in the little blue velvet box.

That year had been a tough year.

My pack had been particularly emergency room prone.  It seemed like I was taking someone to the ER to get stitched up, pumped out, or otherwise repaired a couple times a week.  We seemed to be in the midst of an epidemic of smashed fingers, cut feet, and poked eyes.

The most frustrating part was that most of the trips for emergency medicine were as the result of a pack member doing something dumb.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift Like when Son#2 tried to bounce off of my exercise ball and missed, instead bouncing off of his brothers dresser and slicing open a 10 inch long gash on his back.  And, then tried it again the next day and broke his tail bone!

Or when Daughter#3 was giving Son#3 a ride on her shoulders, and dropped him, resulting in a concussion for him.

The list was endless.  Every couple days someone would do something they shouldn’t have been doing, and I’d get to spend the night in the ER with the victim.

So, it wasn’t a total shock to me one evening when Son#3 came rushing down from the room he shares with Son#4, after they had supposedly been sleeping for an hour.

“I swallowed a Magnetix,” he practically screamed.

I took a calming breath, all the while thinking, “Well, of course you did.  I do that all of the time while I’m sleeping.”

Do you remember Magnetix sets?  They don’t sell them here anymore, probably because kids swallow them.  That’s unfortunate because they were really cool building sets.  There were small rods and marble sized metal balls.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift All of the pieces were magnetic, which allowed one to build some amazing things.  They were also small, which clearly allowed one to swallow some amazing things, too.

Now this was not my first time at the “I swallowed something” rodeo, so I knew what to ask.

“Are you sure you swallowed it?”  At least 3 times we’d rushed pack members to the ER only to discover the supposedly swallowed, panic-inducing item in the panic-stricken child’s clothes or to have it fall out of their hair while the ER doctor was examining in them.  Even if you find the item outside the child’s body while you’re there, you still have to pay for those ER visits.

“Yes, I’m sure,” he answered.

“What kind of a piece did you swallow?”  I inquired.

“One of the metal balls,” he provided. “like this one,” he said, handing me one of the familiar reflective, metal balls.

I was relieved that it wasn’t one of the 4 inch rods.  Small round objects travel quite well through our children.  We’ve ran that drill a dozen times.

“How exactly did you happen to swallow it?” I asked.  He was 8 at the time, hardly an age where you worry about them sucking up toys.

Son#3 explained in great detail that he and Son#4 were not so much trying to sleep for the previous hour.  In fact, they weren’t even in their beds.  After they’d been tucked into their beds, they had both gotten up, and proceeded to have a magic show.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift Son#3 was trying to “fake out” his younger brother by pretending to swallow items.

That’s right.

You see where this is headed.

When Son#4 refused to believe that Son#3 had swallowed the metal ball that Son#3 was pretending to swallow, Son#3 upped the convincing fake swallow, and accidentally swallowed it for real.

A giant sigh escaped me at the end of his long description, as the prospect of yet another night hanging out with the ER staff was exhausting to even think about.  Nonetheless, that’s where we were headed.

I wasn’t worried about the shiny sphere lodging somewhere along Son#3’s exit lane.  We’d had too many instances of similarly sized and shaped marbles and rocks ingested to even wonder about whether there would be any exit problems.  There would not.

I took him to the ER because I was concerned about the chemical make-up of the metal ball.  I was concerned that it might be reactive or poisonous once it reached the inner workings of my boy.

I think the ER doctors were appreciative of our odd swallowing incident.  None of them had ever dealt with this particular item.  After many consultations with the Children’s Hospital and phone calls to poison control, the medical team determined that the metal ball was likely non-reactive.  They sent us home with the customary, “It’ll probably be out in a couple days. If not, come back and we’ll do another x-ray.”

When we were back in the car, Son#3 asked, “Does he mean I’m gonna poop it out?”

“Yes,” I said, “that’s exactly what you’re going to do.”

“But, how will I know when I do?” he asked.  “Won’t it be all covered with…you-know?  How am I going to know it even came out?”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift “Trust me, you’ll know,” I reassured him.

Turns out we all knew, as at the time of exit, Son#3 had failed to shut the bathroom door and the “Clank!” of metal hitting porcelain carried through most of our house.

“Nobody flush this.  I want to show Dad,” my little poopoo engineer hollered out from the bathroom.

And, nobody did.  Of course, nobody ever flushes the toilet around here anyway.

When Mothers’ Day rolled around about a month later our spate of ER visits had, thankfully, lulled.

I was surprised when the Professor presented me with the small, blue velvet hinged jewelry box, with a gold ribbon tied into an artful bow wrapped around it.  Bad as The Professor is with gifts, he’s even worse with wrapping.  This year he wrapped my necklace in the puppy paw print paper I purchased to wrap Daughter#3’s birthday gifts in next month.  So, the lovely presentation surprised me, and further piqued my curiosity.

I slid the ribbon off of the box, and gently lifted the lid.  The hinge squeaked ever-so-softly.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift Inside was a sparkly that I never would have expected. It was resting on a tiny blue pillow, looking quite comfortable.  It looked like a large black pearl, with a soft, silver patina.

Next to it was a small label with fancy script writing that read “In April 2.  Out April 5.”  I laughed out loud when I read it.  Here was the Magnetix that Son#3 had swallowed, beautifully presented as a keepsake for his mom.

It was almost perfect.

Beaming with pride, Son#3 said, “Don’t worry, mom.  We wore gloves, and we soaked it in bleach 3 times.”

That made it perfect.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have any of your family members swallowed something they shouldn’t have? What’s the most bizarre gift you have given or received?   Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

What I Want For Mother’s Day

What I Want For Mother’s Day

by Gina Valley

Mother’s Day is coming, and the hunt for the perfect Mother’s Day gifts is on. It’s a yearly challenge for all hunters to come up with something that not only expresses their appreciation of the mothers in their life, but also something that those mothers would welcome as a gift.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley What I Want For Mother’s Day I’m hanging out with the fine group of hunters over at Dads Round Table today. I’ve got my Mother’s Day wish list there in my Top 7 Things I Want For Mother’s Day post.  I hope you’ll click on over to join me at Dads Round Table.  Feel free to forward my list to the hunters in your life.

Here’s a snippet of what you’ll find in my Top 7 Things I Want For Mother’s Day post:

Top 7 Things I Want For Mother’s Day

Can you feel it?

The air is thick with tension. It’s time to figure out Mother’s Day gifts.

People who have mothers or are partners with a mother or know someone who’s a mother are all experiencing PTGSD (Pre Traumatic Gift Selection Disorder).

I don’t claim to represent the gift preferences of every mother on the planet, but a very unscientific poll of many of the moms I know showed great support for my favorite gifts. I think it comes down to the fact that we moms, just like you dads, really just want to feel acknowledged, appreciated, and loved.

Here’s a list of the top seven gifts that would help me feel all of those things. I’m willing to bet that the mothers in your life would love these, too.

Top 7 Things I Want For Mother’s Day

#1.  Something Kid-Made – A card, a picture, a sculpture, hand prints, anything. No matter what age my child is I always treasure most something they make for me. A card made for me means more to me than any gift. I save those forever. You encouraging and guiding my child to make something for me warms my heart, and demonstrates that you understand me.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley What I Want For Mother’s Day

#2.  A Picture Of World Peace – By “world peace” I mean, of course, “my world” in peace, and by “picture” I mean a photograph of all of my kids. So, a photo of my kids together, all getting along, and all in the same location. Dressed nicely. Hair combed.  Even if it just lasted long enough for that one photo, nothing is more beautiful to me.  In a quality frame, ready for me to display….

Click on over to Dads Round Table to read my Top 7 Things I Want For Mother’s Day post in its entirety (you might want to send the list to the Mother’s Day gift hunters in your life). As always, the extra click to get there counts as cardio!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What gift do you want for Mother’s Day? What do you give the mothers in your life?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Tuesday Tickles – csvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Twitter MomSpeak KidSpeak Tuesday Tickles – csvcTuesday Tickles

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets

that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

 

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

 

Don’t miss a giggle.  “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

 

Top 10 Things I DON’T Want For Mother’s Day

Top 10 Things I DON’T Want For Mother’s Day

by Gina Valley

We’re coming up on that stressful time of year most moms I know hate.

Mother’s Day.

If you think it’s stressful trying to get the mom in your life the right gift, you should try being the mom.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Things I DON’T Want For Mothers’ Day Thanks to Facebook, InstaGram, and the entire host of internet life invaders, the pressure to receive the perfect physical manifestation of appreciation for all that you do as the mom has been bumped up to nearly unreachable heights (do not give mom a step stool to help her reach unreachable heights).

Come noon (do not give mom a watch, so she’ll know when it’s noon) (unless it’s jewel encrusted and returnable) on Sunday any mom without a photo of a hand-drawn card or beautiful bouquet of flowers or artful plate from a fancy buffet to post is all but facing certain ridicule from the mom community.  I can’t be posting a pic of an ironing board cover or a hedge trimmer or a plate from The Trough without facing some serious social media shaming.

I know my family means well, but sometimes they seem to forget who I am and that they know me.

So, to help my family out, here’s some things they can cross off their list now.

Top 10 Things I DON’T Want For Mother’s Day

#10.  Breakfast in bed – It’s awkward. It’s messy. And, even if you were a 5 star chef (which you are not) or our kids were child chef prodigies (which they are not), I still wouldn’t want breakfast in bed. In fact, I don’t want anyone to cook anything for anyone. Just for this one day. Cooking equals mess, and I don’t want the mess (if you want to spend time in the kitchen, after you order in dinner and make brunch reservations, feel free to clean out the fridge.  I do recommend a HazMat suit, though).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Things I DON’T Want For Mothers’ Day#9.  A Chihuahua – No puppies. No kittens. No freshly caught tadpoles.  Not even a cricket for luck. No pets of any kind. If I wanted something gross to clean up after I’d have kids. Oh, wait…

#8.  A Rhododendron  – Yes, it’s lovely. Sure, it seems like a plant I can put in the ground, and have forever, is a much more sensible choice than a bouquet of flowers I’ll toss in the trash in a week. BUT, getting to toss them in the trash in a week is the second best thing about a bouquet of flowers. I get the beautiful, but I don’t get saddled with the responsibility of something else to take care of. I’ll take the love-it-then-toss-it bouquet anyday.

#7.  A Goat Bra – Giving any lingerie to a woman is really a gift to the man who presents it to her, and a big mistake. BUT, a goat bra is even worse.  A friend of mine received one of these for Mothers’ Day from her well-meaning, but clueless husband.  Her pet goat was pregnant at the time, and the feed store guy had advised her husband that the goat, for its comfort and protection, would be needing some support wear.  Her husband decided it would be a delightful, practical gift. Turns out, it was neither.  Even the goat didn’t like it. No mother, of any species, wants lingerie for Mother’s Day.

#6.  A “Fun” Outing For The Whole Family – When Jerry Seinfeld said that there is no such thing as fun for the whole family, he was right. Do not take me to the zoo or Disneyland or the beach for Mothers’ Day.  I’d love to go some other time, but not on “my day.”  No family outing is a celebration for mom.  It’s another work day for mom. If you want to take our children, though, and leave me home to nap in peace, go for it.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Things I DON’T Want For Mothers’ Day#5.  Glow-In-The-Dark Organic Cleaning Solution – No matter how cool, no matter how cutting edge, no matter how much I swore I wanted it when we saw the infomercial in the middle of the night after that Bono concert, do not get me that magic vacuum or space age dust rag or glow-in-the-dark organic cleaning solution or any other item to clean anything. Feel free to give me that on National Dirt Day or even on a Tuesday, but never on Mother’s Day.

#4.  That Necklace Your Mother Says I’d Look Great In – Anything your mother (or sister or anyone but you and our kids) picked out is a big no-no. There’s nothing worse than enjoying something I think you chose for me, and hearing your mother say, “I told him you’d just love that.”  If you don’t want to make the effort for me yourself, I don’t want you to present me with the gift.  And, believe me, you don’t want the resulting cold front I’d be presenting you with in return.

#3.  A Photo Of The Whole FamilyI want to pick out which picture to enlarge of our family.  A framed blow up of that horrible family photo my cousin took of us last Christmas where I look like a cow chewing its cud is not my idea of a charming family memento. You might as well get me a case of SlimFast Shakes.  Which reminds me…

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Things I DON’T Want For Mothers’ Day#2.  A Case Of SlimFast Shakes – Yes, I might buy something like this occasionally. Yes, I mentioned I need to get a new pedometer, since my last one seems to have been less than sturdy (apparently, stomping on those because you only made 5083 steps that day breaks them. Who knew?). Yes, my gym wear is so worn out people occasionally think I’m homeless.  BUT, if you give me anything fitness related, even though you’re sure I’d love it or I’d buy it for myself anyway, I can guarantee that my next cardio activity will be making sure you won’t live until Father’s Day.

#1.  A Hooked Rug Maker – Anything with the word “Maker” in the name is a huge fail in the gift world for me, because it’s a lie, and I hate lying. It’s not a Cake Pop Maker or a Quesadilla Maker or a Hooked Rug Maker. It’s a Spend All Day Trying To Make Cake Pops Maker or a Spend All Day Trying To Make Quesadillas Maker or a Spend All Day Trying To Make A Hooked Rug Maker.  I do not need something else to do. This is not a gift. It’s a chore.  Leave it at the store.

Remember, all I really want is for my kids to make me a card, anyway.

And, a sparkling, clean house.

And, for everyone to get along.

You know, simple stuff.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have you ever gotten a real doozy of a gift?  Have you given a crazy one? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Join me on Dads Round Table for a list of my Top 7 Things I Want For Mother’s Day. Remember, as always, the extra click to get there counts as cardio.

Friday Funnies – cdvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvcFriday Funnies – cdvc

It’s Friday.

End of the week. Start of the weekend.

Pull up a chair & grab your favorite frosty beverage.

Time to get your giggle on.

 

Friday Funnies –

Smiles From Around The World Wide Web

Complied by Gina Valley

Have you fanned me up on Facebook? If not, here’s your chance!  Click on over and hit “like” so you don’t miss a giggle (be sure to hover and select “Show in News Feed” while you’re at it, so Facebook will show you the giggles).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
Always good advice!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
Oh, I hate when that happens!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
What happens if your printer runs out of ink?

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
So very, very thankful!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
My usual exciting,Saturday night plans.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
He sings often at our house!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
Keep this in mind, June Brides!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
It’s definitely breeding!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
I think this should be my mantra!

Be sure to visit the Gina Valley Facebook page and to “like” me up.

 

Some Of My Favorite Pins On Pinterest:

Consider this your formal invitation to check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
High praise, indeed!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
I’ve been saying that for years!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
A bunch!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
\ I hate when that happens!
Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdvc
I really need one of these signs!

All the rest of my pins for the week are here on my Latest Great Pins Board.

If you’re trying to put off making dinner, you can check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

 

This Week On The Gina Valley Blog:

My recent humor posts include

Friday Funnies – cvcvc (a weeks worth of funnies),

When EVERY Day Is Take Your Kids To Work Day (work is the last thing getting done while trying to work from home),

I Can’t Wear White! (why can’t I be one of those people who have their act together?),

Tuesday Tickles – cvnvc (a week’s worth of funny quips),

X is for…I Can’t Think In This House!!!…Gina’s Favorites (quiet is a scarce commodity in our house.),

I Lost My Phone!!! (I might be losing my mind, but I definitely lost my cell phone!).

I hope they gave you some giggles, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina             

What made you smile this week? Did you have a good week?  Any big plans this weekend?  Have you scheduled time to relax?  I’m looking forward to hearing about it!  Shoot me a comment with all the details!

X is for…I Can’t Think In This House!!!…Gina’s Favorites

X is for…I Can’t Think In This House!!!…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Today is Throwback Day!!! Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

X is for…I Can’t Think In This House!!!

The OCD in me tends to obsess a bit about titles for what I write.  Well, it tends to obsess a bit about everything, but titles are what I’m working on right now.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley X is for…I Can’t Think In This House!!!...Gina's Favorites Loud KidsI was trying to come up with an appropriate and effective title with a real x-word (why does that sound dirty to me?) in it for today’s title.

None of those cheap “eXcellent” or “X-ray” cheats for me.  Only real words that actually have something to do with the material need bother to apply.

I won’t tell you that I’ve pulled out 3 different English dictionaries and read every entry for “X” in each.  I did, but I’m not going to tell you that because it sounds a bit obsessive.

I will tell you that while I have been wracking my brain in an attempt to come up with an appropriate x-word, my 2 youngest sons have been wracking theirs in an attempt to come up with ways to derail every last car of every train of thought I’ve had today.

So far they’re batting 1000.

Just now, Son#4 came up with a brand new way to harass Son#3.  Brotherly love at its finest.

I spent most of last night at urgent care with Son#3.  He’s very sensitive to things in his environment.  He’d developed a rash on his face and one arm, which told me he’d been in contact with something his body was angry about.  By the time we were seen by the doctor, the rash had spread, turned bright red, and he’d started wheezing.  We got home late last night with 2 new medicines and a fresh case of exhaustion.

Son#3 is not getting enough oxygen today and is exhausted.  He’s also got an itchy rash on his face, arm, and part of his leg.

He’s not in the best mood.

He was starting to display a rather foul attitude, so I explained to Son#3 that, since he’s having breathing trouble and he isn’t getting enough air, he’s a bit crabby (just between you and me, it’s more like “spawn of satan” crabby, but why split hairs?), and needs to be extra careful about how he responds to people.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley X is for…I Can’t Think In This House!!!...Gina's Favorites Loud KidsSon#4 listened carefully to what I was telling Son#3 (children always listen carefully when it is none of their business), and decided, as brothers are apt to do, to help his brother with his attitude problem.

Son#4 began dancing around our family room, while singing a tune that sounded very Disney-ish.  The lyrics, however, he stole from me.

He sang, “I’m really crabby when I don’t get enough air,” in a bright, cheerful tone.  Over and over again, interspersed with periodic fits of laughter, Son#4 serenaded Son#3 with his song, always careful to stay out of arms reach.

This, not surprisingly, was not well received by Son#3, who took the opportunity to use what little air he was getting to scream at Son#4.  This, of course, served only to encourage Son#4 to sing louder and dance faster, and to make up a second verse.  Son#3 met his brother’s new efforts by redoubling his own, screaming and pelting Son#4 with Legos.

In the midst of the chaos, I remembered an applicable x-word.

Xenogenisis.   You remember xenogenesis, right?  It means spontaneous creation.

If you’re a Trekkie you’ll likely remember it from the 2nd Star Trek movie.  I think that’s the one in which Spock dies, and his body is placed into a pod and shot toward the Genesis planet, which is undergoing xenogenisis.

Or, maybe you remember it from biology class.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley X is for…I Can’t Think In This House!!!...Gina's Favorites Loud KidsOr, from the second page of “X” entries in the Webster’s New World Dictionary, which is where I remember it from.

Son#4 had xenogenisis’ed a whole bunch of chaos out what had been nothing but a brother confined to sofa-rest, receiving some instruction from his mom.

Proving once again that kids are nothing but helpful to parents trying to work from home.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Anything xenogenisis-ing in your neck of the woods?  Why does that make me think of our refrigerator?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Check out my Top 10 Signs You’re A Work From Home Parent post or my When EVERY Day Is Take Your Kids To Work Day post for more giggles about trying to work with kids around.

As always, thank you for reading and sharing my work.  I appreciate your support!

Tuesday Tickles – cvnvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Twitter MomSpeak KidSpeak Tuesday Tickles – cvnvcTuesday Tickles – cvnvc

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets that

made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

 

Don’t miss a giggle.  “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

I Can’t Wear White!

I Can’t Wear White!

by Gina Valley

I figured, if I hurried, I wouldn’t see anyone I knew.

Clearly, I was out of my mind.

I’d fallen asleep sitting up on the sofa sometime in the wee hours of the morning. Maybe the column I was working on wasn’t quite as entertaining as I thought it was.

The dog woke me up. Nature was calling him, apparently. Why must Nature always call before 6:00AM when I’m exhausted?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I Can’t Wear White Style Disorganization

I stumbled into the kitchen to start breakfast for my pack, and realized there was nothing to start breakfast with. So, I’d grabbed my keys and rushed out to the grocery store.

Halfway there I was awake enough to notice that I was still in the clothes I’d slept in, hadn’t brushed my hair or teeth, and yesterday’s make up was pooled under my eyes. I realized I was practically forcing the Universe to make my path intersect with everyone I’ve known since 3rd grade.

But, we were out of milk, bread, eggs, fruit, you know, just a few slightly important ingredients for making breakfast and packing lunches. So, I had to make the risky half mile dash to the closest grocery store.

I was shocked, shocked, that I gathered all the items we needed, plus a dozen more for good measure, in record time, and without seeing anyone I knew. Even the cashier wasn’t one of the usual suspects.

I felt the Universe smiling at me as I pushed my cart full of bags toward the door.

Then, I realized the Universe was not smiling. It was smirking. And, maybe snickering. Yes, I could definitely hear snickering.

Walking in through the door that I was heading toward, too close for me to dodge, was my friend, Julia.

Julia looked perfect. She always looks perfect. Even at 6:11am in the grocery store, which she stopped by to drop off her extra plastic grocery bags for recycling, she looked perfect.
My extra plastic grocery bags were crammed under our kitchen sink, destined to be called into duty as lunch bags on a morning when every lunch box and paper sack we owned had simultaneously disappeared.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I Can’t Wear White Style Disorganization

Julia’s daughter, Claire, never took lunch to school in a grocery bag. She has 3 different lunch kits, which Julia alternates to ensure they are aired out and bacteria-free.  I, on the other hand, shake the bag my kids will tote their lunches to school in over the sink, in hopes of dislodging any truly repulsive stowaways. I figure anything that doesn’t shake off probably is good for building up their immune systems. Besides, most of the lunches my kids take get traded away or lost long before lunch time anyway.

Julia was wearing a white linen suit. White. And, it was crisply ironed and smudge-free. I can’t even get a package of white socks home from WalMart smudge-free. I’d never be approved to gain custody of a white suit. The only pair of white jeans I ever owned got a strawberry jam stain on them before I’d even worn them, and subsequently turned pink when I washed them. I can stain white clothes with just whipped cream. I figured I better not stand too close to her.

I’ve known Julia for years. She’s wonderful, and I love her. But, I hate her. Not hate hate her, just “oh geez why must she always be so together when I’m falling apart?!?!” hate.

The worst part is (now you ladies will understand this, but guys this will make no sense to most of you) Julia is really a nice person. Not fake nice.  Truly nice. She really is a wonderful person.

She’s always happy to help, never gossips, and is the absolute best room-mom ever (I never request particular teachers for my kids, but I always ask that my daughter be in Claire’s class). Even when she’s exhausted she’s not crabby.  I only have to think about being exhausted to get crabby.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I Can’t Wear White Style Disorganization

Julia greeted me warmly. I kept the cart between us. I didn’t want to put her white suit at risk.

She smiled broadly, lipstick perfectly shaped, pearly whites perfectly pearly and white. I smiled back. At least I think I did. I was so busy calculating whether there was a bigger chance of spinach or Oreos being stuck on my teeth that I’m not sure whether I smiled or just grunted in her direction.

We did the quick version of the how’re-the-kids-hub-and-life small talk, both of us knowing the before school hours pass quicker than most.

As we parted, Julia said, “You know, G, I’m so impressed that you can get your grocery shopping done so early. I wish I could be spontaneous to like you, but it’d mess up my schedule for the whole week. I could never pull it off.”

Loading my bags into the trunk, I almost felt a little sorry for Julia. She seemed to be so beholden to her schedule; such a prisoner to her own perfection. Maybe she was right. Maybe I’m not unorganized. Maybe I should stop reaching for perfection, and embrace spontaneous.

I looked down and realized my shoes were different colors.

And, they were both for right feet.

And, I thought, “Maybe a little perfection might not be so bad.”

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you have a friend who always seems to have it all together? Do your shoes match?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

When EVERY Day Is Take Your Kids To Work Day

When EVERY Day Is Take Your Kids To Work Day

by Gina Valley

I got a call from Kelly, a former office mate. She told me that she’s considering taking a flex time position, and she was wondering if my productivity had changed since I made the jump to working from home fulltime.

I laughed and laughed and laughed. She’s such a kidder.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley When EVERY Day Is Take Your Kids To Work Day

Turns out she wasn’t kidding.

She has 2 preschool kids and wants to spend more time with them. So, she actually wanted to know what my days are like since my commute changed from the 405 freeway for an hour to the upstairs hall for 25 feet.

My first impulse was to ask her if she knew the definition of bedlam.  But, I decided instead to give her a few examples of life when every day is Take Your Kids To Work Day.

I panic and race through our house several times a week to check for disasters when I suddenly realize it’s quiet and I’ve been uninterrupted for 10 minutes.

I check at least twice that everyone is wearing underwear before I Skype with a client.

I’ve stopped work, even though I had a deadline looming, to go look at the “giantest worm in the whole world ever” twice, just this week.

I have 3 different colors of glitter glue in my office supply cabinet.

There is a stuffed animal or toy truck occupying the guest chair in my office nearly all the time.

I have, without thinking, asked the FedEx guy if he needs to use the bathroom before he leaves, and have also accidentally reminded the UPS guy to use his inside voice.

I’ve been late heading out to a meeting because my car’s windshield was completely covered with Post It notes with crooked little smiley faces drawn on them.

There is finger paint in my top desk drawer. Not all of it is in its container.

I’m currently out of Wite-Out because someone used it to paint his red Hot Wheels Trans Am so it would be camouflaged in the snow.  And, by “snow” I mean the big tub of vanilla ice cream I bought 2 days ago.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley When EVERY Day Is Take Your Kids To Work Day

I’ve been side-tracked by the need to perform an “egg frying on the sidewalk” experiment or a “frozen bee removal” exercise, repeatedly.

My fax machine has been on the fritz because it was used to try to send a GI Joe to another dimension (I was asked later “Would it have worked better if we’d used a cover sheet?”).

I had a client ask me, “Is everything ok?” after my youngest hollered at me while I was on the phone with that client, “No one is on fire or bleeding from the head, but it is an emergency!” (it was, by the way, so not an emergency).

So, yes, my productivity has changed.

But on the other hand, my young officemates are a lot of fun.

They do need a lot more help wiping than my old officemates did, though.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Anyone little “helping” you get a lot done? I’m looking forward to hearing all about it!   Shoot me a comment with all the details.  No glitter necessary!