It Was Kind Of A Quest…Gina’s Favorites

It Was Kind Of A Quest…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

We watched The Hobbit last night, which got me thinking about what a shame it is that we don’t have great adventures like that in our life.  Then, I remembered that sometimes we do. Sort of.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It Was Kind Of A Quest...Gina's Favorites Trash

So, this week I figure my It Was Kind Of A Quest post is just right for Throwback Day.

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

It Was Kind Of A Quest

We just spent hours rehabilitating our kitchen trash can.

Yes, it’s old.  Yes, it’s dented.  Yes, it’s scratched and the lid doesn’t close right and the foot pedal came off.  Yes, it’s really beyond repair.

But, we can’t buy a new one.

We just can’t.

We can’t afford it.  It costs too much.

I’m not talking about the money.  We can shell out the cash for a new rubbish bin.  I’m talking about the emotional cost that buying a new trashcan causes.  Because, you must remember, if we get a new trashcan, we have to throw out the old one.

I can’t take the stress and turmoil of trying to throw out another trashcan.

It is so dang hard to throw out a trash can.  Have you ever tried to throw one out? It’s next to impossible to do.  I know.  I’ve tried.

The last trash can I tried to throw out was one of those molded plastic ones.  It was about 2 feet high and held about 15 gallons of trash.  I have to admit that I never actually measured its capacity.  Nor did I measure the length of the crack that had developed under mysterious, never fully explained circumstances while I was away for a weekend, that ran zigzagging from near the bottom of the trash receptacle to the top.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It Was Kind Of A Quest...Gina's Favorites TrashKeep in mind that this was one of those supposedly indestructible trash cans with the commercial that shows the trashcan none-the-worse-for-wear after being run over by a truck.  Indestructible my eye.  Clearly, the marketers hadn’t met my pack.

There was a tennis ball size hole on the bottom of one side, where one of our furry family members had decided to increase air flow.  The well ventilated trashcan also had a distinctive fish odor to it.  No one was exactly sure why, and no one wanted to ask.

If my dad had seen me about to throw it out, he would have said, “All you need is a tube of chalking, a welder’s torch, and a mold of the trashcan in its original condition, and you can totally rebuild that thing.”

I was happy he didn’t see me toss it into our big trashcan, to await its ride to the garbage after-life on Wednesday morning.

Wednesday morning after I heard the roar of the garbage truck pulling away, Son#1 rushed into the house clutching the trash can I thought was on its voyage to the great garbage beyond.  “Mom, good thing I went out when I did.  I pulled this out just in the nick of time,” he happily explained.

“I was throwing that out,” I explained, not as happily.

He looked puzzled. “Oh. Why?” he asked. “Just needs a little duct tape.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It Was Kind Of A Quest...Gina's Favorites TrashBefore my favorite person in the world, the garbage man, returned the following Wednesday, the broken trashcan was “rescued” 4 different times by 3 members of my pack and The Professor, who made a nearly identical “duct tape” comment.  It runs in families.

This run of rescues was frustrating, but understandable.  After all, my family never throws anything away voluntarily, except spoons and important notices sent home from school.

Tuesday night I called a family meeting.  I took the retired trashcan away from our dog, which had “rescued” it around lunch time.  I placed it on our coffee table (the trash can.  Not the dog).

“This,” I informed my anti-throwaway-ite family, “is trash.”

Almost in unison they replied, “can.”

“No, no, no!” I corrected.  “This was a trash can.  Now it is just trash.  I am trying desperately to send it on to that great trash utopia in the hills, and I need you all to stop taking it out of the trashcan.”

Daughter#3 said, “I’ll bet Grandpa could fix it.”

Don’t tell Grandpa!” I almost, but didn’t quite holler.  I knew she was right.  He could fix it.  He would fix it.  I didn’t want it fixed.  I wanted it gone.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It Was Kind Of A Quest...Gina's Favorites TrashI placed the trashcan into our big trashcan myself.  I put a bag of garbage from the bathroom inside to make sure it didn’t fall out.  I sighed with relief, knowing that my buddy, the garbage man, would be whisking it away in less than 12 hours.

Our trash man and I have been pals for ages.  For several years I thought the reason he always made sure to pick up any spills and overlooked it when we put out an extra bag was because I brought my littles out to the front porch to wave to him every week.  They love trash trucks.

A couple months ago The Professor suggested another reason that the garbage man might be particularly interested in doing a great job with our refuse.  As he was leaving for work, The Professor noticed that when the sun shines on the porch while we’re waving, it makes my robe nearly transparent.  Perhaps, he’d theorized, it wasn’t seeing our kids that was making the man smile.

So, I was wearing my current wave-wear, a thick sweat shirt and pants, when the garbage man pulled to a stop in front of our house Wednesday morning.  Sons #3 & #4 were at my side, dutifully waving.  Our garbage man made quick work of our cans, and waved and smiled, as always, as he continued up our street.

Son#2 came into our house after putting away our garbage cans, holding the broken blue trash can.

I gasped, and said, “Oh my gosh! I think it’s possessed!”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It Was Kind Of A Quest...Gina's Favorites TrashSon#2 shook his head and said, “Nah, I think the garbage man took it out, ‘cause he put three of our spoons and a fork in it.  I don’t know how he spots that stuff.”

I was thankful our garbage man had again rescued some of our ever diminishing supply of flatware, but I couldn’t help but wonder if we would ever be able to get rid of that useless garbage receptacle

We did finally get rid of it.  I admit that it was a premeditated trashcan canning.

I packed it in the back of our van for a trip to Arizona.  In the middle of the night, while we were filling up our van’s tank and my pack was dozing, I made a dash to the dumpster at the gas station in the middle of nowhere.

As we pulled away from the pumps I could see the gentleman who had been hanging out near the dumpster pulling the black plastic bag encased bundle out of the dumpster.  We were almost to the exit driveway when he began to peel the plastic bag away, and to stare at the trashed trashcan I had so cocooned.

Time seemed to move in slow motion.  The exit from the gas station seemed to get farther away with every passing moment.

We had to wait for traffic to let up before we could pull out onto the road.  He started to walk in our direction, with the former trashcan cradled carefully in his arms.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It Was Kind Of A Quest...Gina's Favorites TrashI considered praying, “Please, don’t let him catch us.  Please, don’t let him catch us.”  But, I felt like ditching a trash receptacle shouldn’t be something I need to call on The Almighty for help with.  There are other issues.

The man with the can was picking up his pace as we waited at the exit.  He was nearly at a jog.  He held our dearly departed plastic trashcan in front of himself like a holy offering.  He was getting closer.

At the first break in traffic we pulled onto the road, probably a bit faster than we needed too, nearly rousing our sleeping pack.  Fear makes you do desperate things.  I saw the man waving the trashcan like a beacon, as if calling to the trash mother ship.

I’m still fearful that he may have jotted down our license plate, contacted the Department of Motor Vehicles for our address, and will one day bring our former trash can back home.

This is why I don’t answer the door anymore.

And, why, despite it being so easy to replace, The Professor and I spent a couple hours making our current kitchen trashcan at least semi-functional again.

We don’t have time to go on the lam with another trashcan right now.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have you ever had trouble getting rubbish hauled away?  Are your family members packrats?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Be sure to check out my Gooey Trash Ed post for more trashy humor.

As always, the extra click counts as cardio.

Thank you for reading and sharing!!!

Tuesday Tickles – cvvc

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Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets

that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

 

Don’t miss a giggle.  “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

It Has A Pulse!

It Has A Pulse!

by Gina Valley

My 12 year old came home with a gift from satan on Friday.

Ok, it wasn’t actually from satan.  It was from Lenore*, his best friend’s mom.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I Think It Has A Pulse! Friendship Bread Starter

*Lenore is a very nice person. She definitely is NOT satan. You know I’m just making with the jokes here, right, Lenore?

But, it seemed like something satan might send home with my kid.

You’ve probably already guessed what it is.

That’s right.

It was a Ziploc bag full of Friendship Bread Starter.

That, by the way, is a total misnomer.This goo has never started a friendship, although I’m willing to put dollars to doughnuts (what does that even mean?!?!) that it’s ended more than a few.

It’s probably started a several wars.  In fact, I’ll bet if we were to carefully investigate Kim Jong-il’s culinary past, we’d find evidence of a Friendship Bread Starter bag showing up at his house right before he went off the dictator deep-end.

I don’t need people to send plastic bags full of fermenting goo, complete with its own massaging and feeding schedule, to my house.  I’m just not ready to make that kind of a commitment to a bag of goo. Frankly, I have trouble keeping the bread I buy from rotting. I don’t want the pressure of trying to deal with a pre-bread time bomb.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I Think It Has A Pulse! Friendship Bread StarterBesides, we have no trouble making our own bags of fermenting goo.  I have a veggie crisper drawer full of them right now.

Sending the bag of nastiness to me by way of one of my pack members is even worse.  They forget to close our refrigerator or to mention our microwave is on fire.  Remembering to hand me a bag of goo is never going to be at the top of any of my kids’ to do lists.

When Son#2 was in 3rd grade he was nearly blown into the next county when a forgotten Friendship Bread Starter bag buried deep in the black hole which was his backpack created enough gas to not only break the seal of its Ziploc bag, but to also create a sort of jet propulsion system while he was walking home from school.

Fortunately, he landed on his head, so he wasn’t hurt*.

*Valley children pride themselves on their hard heads. Why just this weekend one of my 13 year old’s friends broke his arm in 4 places when he accidentally hit my son on the head while they were jumping on a trampoline. True story.  I wish I was making that up.

We had to call in the HazMat team to incinerate Son#2’s backpack. But, he did get an “A” on the science project he wrote about it. I’m sure my promising to send a sample bag of Friendship Bread Starter to his teacher, if he needed additional visual aids to improve his grade, in no way encouraged his teacher to immediately give him top marks.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I Think It Has A Pulse! Friendship Bread StarterHow did the tradition that receiving a bag of rotting goo is a sign of friendship even start?

Was somebody living in the Little House On The Prairie feeling lonely and looking for a way to endear herself to her neighbors? Did she think “I have a bag of rotting stuff. I know. I’ll give some of it to everyone I know, and then they’ll all be my friends”?  Didn’t they have social anxiety medications back then?

Does this work for any rotting food?  Can I expect my neighbor to be honored if I label our bag of melting romaine “Friendship Salad Starter”?

Does it have to be in a Ziploc plastic bag? I have some Texas toast on our kitchen counter that’s rapidly turning blue and developing the ability to breathe, but it’s got a clip, not a Ziploc.  Is it suitable to be “Friendship French Toast Starter”?

Can it be anything labelled “Friendship”?  We’ve got a new pet, a rat named “Minnie,” who I’d love to pass on (Son#1’s snake wouldn’t eat her, so Son#4 named her, which caused her to jump from being “food” to being a “pet”).  If someone would be required to accept her graciously because I did it, I’d be more than happy to whip out a pen and label her “Friendship Pet Vermin Starter.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I Think It Has A Pulse! Friendship Bread Starter

Can I apply this principle to other areas in my life?  How about a Friendship Bag Of I Don’t Know What The Heck This Is from my freezer? Or, ten boxes of Friendship Attic Clutter Starter from our attic?

This could revolutionize my de-cluttering plan for our house.

I’ll have to be sure to put together a Ziploc bag full of Friendship Cheerios Seat Cushion Texturization Starter for Lenore while I wait in the school parking lot after school today for my kids.

Actually, there’s probably plenty of Cheerios, melted crayons, and broken pencils down the front seat alone to fill 15 big Ziploc bags.

Or, should I say 15 Friendship End Of The Year Teacher Gift Starters?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Has anyone ever given you a bag of Friendship Bread Starter?  Did you follow the instructions? How did it turn out? Did it explode?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Friday Funnies – cdsvc

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It’s Friday.

End of the week. Start of the weekend.

Pull up a chair & grab your favorite frosty beverage.

Time to get your giggle on.

 

Friday Funnies –

Smiles From Around The World Wide Web

Complied by Gina Valley

Have you fanned me up on Facebook? If not, here’s your chance!  Click on over and hit “like” so you don’t miss a giggle (be sure to hover and select “Show in News Feed” while you’re at it, so Facebook will show you the giggles).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

 I’ve got a couple teenagers who are quite teenagery this week.

 

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 I never trust owls around my lollipops.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

Ain’t that the truth?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

This is our house, but with 3 dogs.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

They are. They really are!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

I might have only thought about it for half the day.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

Why I can never buy bananas again.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

It’s a beautiful time to be alive.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

I think I’ve got this, but thank you anyway.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

What were we talking about?

Be sure to visit the Gina Valley Facebook page and to “like” me up.

 

Some Of My Favorite Pins On Pinterest:

Consider this your formal invitation to check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

Excellent idea!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

Don’t leave out any details!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc

Brilliant idea!!!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cdsvc Or, the day after. Whichever.

All the rest of my pins for the week are here on my Latest Great Pins Board.

If you’re trying to put off making dinner, you can check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

 

This Week On The Gina Valley Blog:

My recent humor posts include

Friday Funnies – cnvc (a weeks worth of funnies),

My Mom Makes Me Laugh (she’s a prankster),

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot (sleep deprivation at its finest),

Tuesday Tickles – ctvc (a week’s worth of funny quips),

Death By Folding Chair – The Perils Of A Graduation Audience…Gina’s Favorites (graduation goofiness).

I hope they gave you some giggles, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina             

What made you smile this week? Did you have a good week?  Any big plans this weekend?  Have you scheduled time to relax?  I’m looking forward to hearing about it!  Shoot me a comment with all the details!

Death By Folding Chair – The Perils Of A Graduation Audience…Gina’s Favorites

Death By Folding Chair –The Perils Of A Graduation Audience…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

It’s that time of year again.
Time to shake and bake while our loved ones stride across the stage. Join me for some graduation giggles in this Gina’s Favorite’s post.

Death By Folding Chair – The Perils Of A Graduation Audience

So, you want to be a graduation audience member?  Let’s see if you’ve got the endurance, savvy, and possibly even stupidity necessary to make the grade.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Death By Folding Chair – The Perils Of A Graduation Audience...Gina's Favorites Ahhh – the audience – that group of adoring fans that entertains delusions of homicide as the ceremony plods along.  At least a lot of them are darn entertaining, even if it is for all the wrong reasons!

By the end of the ceremony those of us in the audience who have survived have bonded like hostages being held in the desert.  We are hesitant to leave our new found friends, and yet sick of the sight of each other.

A few questions pop into my mind as I consider that ragtag group of sweaty individuals sticking to the chairs behind the graduates.

Is there some reason that people understand they need to dress up to attend a graduation ceremony, but apparently think bras are optional?  If you are over 25 years or 120 pounds, you know that a bra is your friend, don’t you?  Do some of you more “gifted” guys realized this applies to your upper ailerons, as well?

You do realize people at graduations are bored and overheated, but not blind, right?  Why are you punishing them?

Isn’t it bad enough that to graduate Junior has to sit there in an asbestos lined dress wearing a funny hat for 3 hours? Should he have to also suffer through having granny’s bobbing hooters knock over one of his friends?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Death By Folding Chair – The Perils Of A Graduation Audience...Gina's Favorites Do you realize that kid could lose an eye?  Heck, don’t you think that everyone in a 50 foot radius is probably considering scratching theirs out?  Why don’t you get it together and rack ‘em up, or lock-n-load, or something?!?!  This isn’t the state fair, you know?

If you chose to wear low rise pants why didn’t you also choose to wear underwear? And, must you sit in front of me and bend over constantly?  Can’t you see the wisdom in having some secrets? Do you realize how hard it is to keep a 2 year old from tossing raisins into what looks like a perfectly good target from where she stands?

Instead of programs, why don’t they hand out deodorant to the audience members?  They know there won’t be a breeze, so isn’t it worth the effort even if it saves only a few lives?

And, if you’re the only one sitting in an audience of thousands holding a balloon bouquet, doesn’t it occur to you that something might be amiss with your celebratory gift choice?  Do you realize those balloons are not transparent and the people around you don’t have x-ray vision to see through them? Do you realize the knives being thrown were half attempts to pop the balloons and half attempts to take you out of the gene pool?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Death By Folding Chair – The Perils Of A Graduation Audience...Gina's Favorites You do understand that it’s standard protocol for me to snip the string of any balloon that smacks my head, right?  And, that if I’m smacked twice, I have the right to smack you with whatever I brought (FYI – I’m bringing bricks to the next graduation)?

Is there some reason those of you with air-horns, classy and elegant as those are at a University level function, have to point them at my ear prior to firing off that delightful, fun, audio enhancement?  Don’t you realize that I would keep my hearing and you would get better sound if you would raise it over your head?

And, once you’re seated, can you please stay seated?  What is the deal with the people that sit in the exact center of the 100 person long row and then climb out over everyone every ten minutes?  If your bladder is that small, shouldn’t you skip drinking, sit on the aisle, and possibly see an urologist?

When the endless ceremony ends, is there a chance we could maintain a little decorum?  Must you stampede out over other audience members the second the recessional is finished?  Did you think you were being chased by the bulls in Pamplona?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Death By Folding Chair – The Perils Of A Graduation Audience...Gina's Favorites And, much as I hate to mention this because I found it extremely entertaining to watch each and every time it happened, I feel in the interest of public safety I must ask, “Is everyone now aware that we are sitting on folding chairs at graduations?”  Did you not think about what would happen to you when you stood on a folding chair to take a picture?  Are you familiar with the term “That’s gonna leave a mark!”?

Did you realize that your scream, the ensuing laughter from those around you, and the siren of the approaching EMT’s would drown out that sound of the graduates’ names being read? More importantly, did you not see the 11 other people who tried and epically failed at the same stunt you decided to have a go at prior to your grand chair adventure?  Did you really think you could succeed where they had failed?  Did they use the actual Jaws of Life to extract the chair from your body?

Is there some law of physics that requires that 2 and 4 year olds, who were hyper and cranky throughout the entire ceremony, must fall asleep as the last name is read?  And, what causes their body mass to swell to nearly 5000 lbs as we attempt to carry them on the 2 ½ mile trek to the car?  And, which car did we bring?

Did you know if I see another folding chair anytime soon I may have a post audience member traumatic episode?

Can I get some iced tea STAT?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

My previous post was directed at  at graduations.  Be sure to check out my The Platform Party and The Graduates posts for more graduation giggles. I want your graduation knowledge base to be complete!

What is the goofiest thing you’ve seen in an audience?  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it, so please drop me a comment!

Tuesday Tickles – ctvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Twitter MomSpeak KidSpeak Tuesday Tickles – ctvcTuesday Tickles – ctvc

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets

that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

 

Don’t miss a giggle.  “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot

by Gina Valley

Bear, our boy puppy, came into our bedroom and barked at me at 3:00AM this morning.  This might not have been quite so jarring had I not been up until 2:00AM waiting for my 17 year old to arrive home from Disneyland.

I can’t sleep when my kids aren’t home. Of course, if last night is any indication, I can’t sleep when they are either.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot Sleep DeprivationApparently, Bear, our giant pup, was lonely.  He finally settled down about 4:00AM, at which point his sister, Ziva, jump onto our bed. I think she was there to complain about her litter mate being so loud. Then, she remembered how much she likes to bounce on our bed, and proceeded to work on her technique, on and off, for the next hour.

At 5:00AM, our youngest son proved he was right last night when he said that he could get up early, even though he was up 2 hours past his bedtime, by climbing onto our bed to chat.  “Since we’re both awake, mom,” he said, “can you play Colossus on the piano for me again? I forgot how it goes, and I have a test on it during band today.”

I explained to my young son that, no, I would not play the song right then.

It was 5:00AM. We’d already had both barking and bouncing dogs. If I started pounding on the piano, I was sure that not only would all of his brothers and sisters turn into zombies, but that our neighbors would likely storm our house with pitchforks and torches.

I did not explain to him that I also could not play the piece right then. My lack of sleep was making it nearly impossible for me to get both of my eyes to stay open at the same time. There was no way I was going to be able to coordinate 2 hands along with my eyes to produce the song written on the page.

I tried humming Colossus for him, but it came out sounding like Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful.

A few minutes later he was blasting Colossus on our TV, having accessed the internet through the Xbox, and I was pretty sure I could hear our neighbors groaning.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot Sleep DeprivationI finally got to sleep for about an hour before I had to get up to get my pack moving for school. But, an hour just wasn’t enough sleep to let my body, much less my brain, reset.

I had tossed the bowls my kids used for breakfast into the trash can, and loaded the empty cereal box into our dishwasher before I realized what I was doing.  Of course, that’s not the only telltale sign that my brain is exhausted, and needs a hard reboot.

Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot

#10.  I was yelling at my children to hurry or they’ll be late to school even though they’d already left for school.

#9.  I keep catching myself typing with spaces between syllables, instead of between the words.

#8.  I just spelled “between” wrong. Three times.

#7.  I also spelled “syllables” wrong. Many, many times.

#6.  I was yelling at the dog to come downstairs. Turns out, he was sitting on my feet, and I was downstairs at the time. I think the dog rolled his eyes at me.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs My Brain Needs A Hard Reboot Sleep Deprivation

#5.  I have been seriously considering using a fork to stab the guy whose truck keeps making that stupid back up beeping noise I’ve been hearing on and off all morning. Make up your mind. Park your stupid truck, and get away from it. Some of us have had no sleep.

#4.  I was completely immobilized while trying to put on my bathrobe because a sleeve was inside out.  This is why it’s important to have 911 on speed dial.

#3.  I keep needing to Google simple facts, and then forgetting what I was gonna Google before I can open Google.

#2.  I asked a client, who I know lives less than an hour away from me, what time it is where he lives. To his credit, he immediately asked me what color the sky is on my planet.

#1.  I just now, an hour after she left, realized why I liked the black jacket my 16 year old daughter was wearing when she left for school.  Because it’s mine.

Is it nap o’clock yet?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How can you tell when your brain needs a hard reboot?  Have you done anything goofy because you were tired?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

My Mom Makes Me Laugh

My Mom Makes Me Laugh

by Gina Valley

My mom isn’t one of the first people I think of when I’m thinking of funny people, but she should be.

She taught me how to short sheet a bed when I was still in kindergarten.  She’d stick plastic fruit in my dad’s lunches, and put dog biscuits in the cookie jar when we were little.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley My Mom Makes Me Laugh Mother’s Day Pranks

She’s got a rock that looks just like a baked potato, and she serves it to unsuspecting company for dinner.

Every single April 1 she convinces my dad that her car has a flat tire, and he goes out to check it. It hasn’t been flat yet.

And, there was the fishing trip my dad took with my brother-in-law a couple years ago.

My mom, then 73 and battling Parkinson’s disease, was going to be left home alone in their remote mountain home for the week my dad was away on the trip.  Being alone for a week while my dad was gone was a big deal.

A registered nurse and a mother of 5, my mom is a detail-oriented, highly organized person.  She, realizing her personal and situational limitations, knew she had to plan and prepare.

She made a list.

She even numbered the items by priority.

What was the first thing on her list?

What was that one essential she had to complete prior to my dad’s departure to feel that all would be right and secure in her world?

Was it stocking up on groceries?  No.

Was it filling the car with gas?  No.

Was it finishing the laundry or putting emergency contacts near the phone or double checking their security system?  No. No. No.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley My Mom Makes Me Laugh Mother’s Day Pranks

Number 1 on her list was:  sew all of the underwear my dad packed shut. Every single pair.

And, she did it.

She makes me laugh, and that is such a blessing.  It reminds me that no matter how rough a day may feel laughter will draw us back together.

Happy Mothers’ Day, Mom! I love you!

And, Happy Mothers’ Day to all of you who mother, whether you are an official mom or not.

Everything you do for the children in your world is appreciated, whether anyone tells you or not.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Visit my Who ARE These People? post for more giggles inspired by my parents.

Visit my Seriously – I Cried Today post for a poignant look at struggles my mom has faced.

Do you have fond memories about someone who mothered you?  Is there a silly story that makes you smile every time you think about it?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

 Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Friday Funnies – cnvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvcFriday Funnies – cnvc

It’s Friday.

End of the week. Start of the weekend.

Pull up a chair & grab your favorite frosty beverage.

Time to get your giggle on.

 

Friday Funnies –

Smiles From Around The World Wide Web

Complied by Gina Valley

Have you fanned me up on Facebook? If not, here’s your chance!  Click on over and hit “like” so you don’t miss a giggle (be sure to hover and select “Show in News Feed” while you’re at it, so Facebook will show you the giggles).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

That’s gonna leave a mark.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 Extreme caution!!!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 I need this on a t-shirt, to warn people.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 My hero!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 Well, that doesn’t seem right.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

I don’t think I’m winning.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 But, I hate those flying monkeys!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 That’s for sure!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 All parents face difficulties!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

Sounds fair.

 

Be sure to visit the Gina Valley Facebook page and to “like” me up.

 

Some Of My Favorite Pins On Pinterest:

Consider this your formal invitation to check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 I know, right?!?!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 I like Lee Dixon’s attitude!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

 VERY carefully planned.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - cnvc

It is so hard to find a flattering bathing suit.

 

All the rest of my pins for the week are here on my Latest Great Pins Board.

If you’re trying to put off making dinner, you can check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

 

This Week On The Gina Valley Blog:

My recent humor posts include

Friday Funnies – cdvc (a weeks worth of funnies),

Top 10 Things I DON’T Want For Mother’s Day (it’s the LACK of thought that counts),

Tuesday Tickles – csvc (a week’s worth of funny quips),

What I Want For Mother’s Day (the best gifts are tough to wrap),

Where’s My Sparkly?…Gina’s Favorites (an unusual gift).

I hope they gave you some giggles, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina             

What made you smile this week? Did you have a good week?  Any big plans this weekend?  Have you scheduled time to relax?  I’m looking forward to hearing about it!  Shoot me a comment with all the details!

Where’s My Sparkly?…Gina’s Favorites

Where’s My Sparkly?…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Since so many of us are busily searching for the perfect Mother’s Day gift for the moms in our life, I figured my Where’s My Sparkly? post would be perfect for Throwback Day this week.

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Where’s My Sparkly?

I’m a bit distressed this morning because I can’t find the little velvet-covered jewelry box that holds my favorite sparkly.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift I keep it in my big china hutch in our dining room.

Yes, I know that’s strange.

What kind of nut keeps a jewelry box in the dining room?  This kind.

I received the tiny, blue velvet-covered hinged box with the shiny treasure inside it for Mothers’ Day from the Professor a couple years ago.  I treasure it.  It’s one of my favorite gifts.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that celebratory days, particularly Mothers’ Day, seem to have degraded into a battle over gifting styles.

Personally, I don’t understand what the big problem is.  If you’re a kid, make something.  Anything.  She’ll love it and keep it forever.

If you’re an adult, think about what she likes.  Give her something you know she likes.  If you don’t know what she likes, either ask her, or re-evaluate your relationship to figure out how you don’t know what someone you are supposedly close to wants.

No big deal.

That being said, however, The Professor does not agree.

He finds gift selection and giving mind boggling, despite the fact we’ve known each other for 2 decades.  I have to admit that my life partner is, in general the worst with gifts.

I think it was Lucy Ricardo who said, “It’s not the gift, it’s the lack of thought behind it that counts.”  I live that.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift But, sometimes he has a moment of inspiration, and not only gets me a gift, but gets something I’ll love.  Like the year he had his classes do group projects for a week, so he could spend every second working on crafting a bouquet of red duct tape roses for me.  The effort was the gift.  I treasure those everlasting flowers because of it.

Or, this year, when he picked out a stunning necklace well in advance of Mothers’ Day (because I will be performing on Mothers’ Day) that’s just my style.

Or, the year he gave me the sparkly in the little blue velvet box.

That year had been a tough year.

My pack had been particularly emergency room prone.  It seemed like I was taking someone to the ER to get stitched up, pumped out, or otherwise repaired a couple times a week.  We seemed to be in the midst of an epidemic of smashed fingers, cut feet, and poked eyes.

The most frustrating part was that most of the trips for emergency medicine were as the result of a pack member doing something dumb.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift Like when Son#2 tried to bounce off of my exercise ball and missed, instead bouncing off of his brothers dresser and slicing open a 10 inch long gash on his back.  And, then tried it again the next day and broke his tail bone!

Or when Daughter#3 was giving Son#3 a ride on her shoulders, and dropped him, resulting in a concussion for him.

The list was endless.  Every couple days someone would do something they shouldn’t have been doing, and I’d get to spend the night in the ER with the victim.

So, it wasn’t a total shock to me one evening when Son#3 came rushing down from the room he shares with Son#4, after they had supposedly been sleeping for an hour.

“I swallowed a Magnetix,” he practically screamed.

I took a calming breath, all the while thinking, “Well, of course you did.  I do that all of the time while I’m sleeping.”

Do you remember Magnetix sets?  They don’t sell them here anymore, probably because kids swallow them.  That’s unfortunate because they were really cool building sets.  There were small rods and marble sized metal balls.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift All of the pieces were magnetic, which allowed one to build some amazing things.  They were also small, which clearly allowed one to swallow some amazing things, too.

Now this was not my first time at the “I swallowed something” rodeo, so I knew what to ask.

“Are you sure you swallowed it?”  At least 3 times we’d rushed pack members to the ER only to discover the supposedly swallowed, panic-inducing item in the panic-stricken child’s clothes or to have it fall out of their hair while the ER doctor was examining in them.  Even if you find the item outside the child’s body while you’re there, you still have to pay for those ER visits.

“Yes, I’m sure,” he answered.

“What kind of a piece did you swallow?”  I inquired.

“One of the metal balls,” he provided. “like this one,” he said, handing me one of the familiar reflective, metal balls.

I was relieved that it wasn’t one of the 4 inch rods.  Small round objects travel quite well through our children.  We’ve ran that drill a dozen times.

“How exactly did you happen to swallow it?” I asked.  He was 8 at the time, hardly an age where you worry about them sucking up toys.

Son#3 explained in great detail that he and Son#4 were not so much trying to sleep for the previous hour.  In fact, they weren’t even in their beds.  After they’d been tucked into their beds, they had both gotten up, and proceeded to have a magic show.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift Son#3 was trying to “fake out” his younger brother by pretending to swallow items.

That’s right.

You see where this is headed.

When Son#4 refused to believe that Son#3 had swallowed the metal ball that Son#3 was pretending to swallow, Son#3 upped the convincing fake swallow, and accidentally swallowed it for real.

A giant sigh escaped me at the end of his long description, as the prospect of yet another night hanging out with the ER staff was exhausting to even think about.  Nonetheless, that’s where we were headed.

I wasn’t worried about the shiny sphere lodging somewhere along Son#3’s exit lane.  We’d had too many instances of similarly sized and shaped marbles and rocks ingested to even wonder about whether there would be any exit problems.  There would not.

I took him to the ER because I was concerned about the chemical make-up of the metal ball.  I was concerned that it might be reactive or poisonous once it reached the inner workings of my boy.

I think the ER doctors were appreciative of our odd swallowing incident.  None of them had ever dealt with this particular item.  After many consultations with the Children’s Hospital and phone calls to poison control, the medical team determined that the metal ball was likely non-reactive.  They sent us home with the customary, “It’ll probably be out in a couple days. If not, come back and we’ll do another x-ray.”

When we were back in the car, Son#3 asked, “Does he mean I’m gonna poop it out?”

“Yes,” I said, “that’s exactly what you’re going to do.”

“But, how will I know when I do?” he asked.  “Won’t it be all covered with…you-know?  How am I going to know it even came out?”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift “Trust me, you’ll know,” I reassured him.

Turns out we all knew, as at the time of exit, Son#3 had failed to shut the bathroom door and the “Clank!” of metal hitting porcelain carried through most of our house.

“Nobody flush this.  I want to show Dad,” my little poopoo engineer hollered out from the bathroom.

And, nobody did.  Of course, nobody ever flushes the toilet around here anyway.

When Mothers’ Day rolled around about a month later our spate of ER visits had, thankfully, lulled.

I was surprised when the Professor presented me with the small, blue velvet hinged jewelry box, with a gold ribbon tied into an artful bow wrapped around it.  Bad as The Professor is with gifts, he’s even worse with wrapping.  This year he wrapped my necklace in the puppy paw print paper I purchased to wrap Daughter#3’s birthday gifts in next month.  So, the lovely presentation surprised me, and further piqued my curiosity.

I slid the ribbon off of the box, and gently lifted the lid.  The hinge squeaked ever-so-softly.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Where’s My Sparkly?...Gina's Favorites Mothers Gift Inside was a sparkly that I never would have expected. It was resting on a tiny blue pillow, looking quite comfortable.  It looked like a large black pearl, with a soft, silver patina.

Next to it was a small label with fancy script writing that read “In April 2.  Out April 5.”  I laughed out loud when I read it.  Here was the Magnetix that Son#3 had swallowed, beautifully presented as a keepsake for his mom.

It was almost perfect.

Beaming with pride, Son#3 said, “Don’t worry, mom.  We wore gloves, and we soaked it in bleach 3 times.”

That made it perfect.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have any of your family members swallowed something they shouldn’t have? What’s the most bizarre gift you have given or received?   Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.