I’ve Got Your Mission Impossible RIGHT Here!!!

I’ve Got Your Mission Impossible RIGHT Here!!!

by Gina Valley

Part of any waiting room’s standard equipment is an endlessly buzzing florescent light, even if there are no visible florescent lights in the room.

But, not this waiting room.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I’ve Got Your Mission Impossible RIGHT Here!!! Noise

No, they clearly went with the deluxe package when choosing annoying features for this “relaxation” grotto.  The high-end Stark Iceberg White and Cornea-Burning Orange leather furniture provided not only a treat for the eyes, but, every time someone sat, stood up, or shifted their weight, for the ears, as well.

The art work hanging on the white and orange walls depicted trees in various states of decay. I think they did the photo shoot at The Munsters’ House.

But, there was a much more impressive addition to this cave of “calm.”

At first, I thought the annoying grinding sound was my brain over-heating from filling out 27 pages of paperwork about my child, all of the information requested, I’m reasonably sure, is already in her records. Don’t these people have computers?

But, even after I returned the stack of papers to the receptionist, and settled back into my white leather seat, the annoying sound continued.  I watch CSI.  I knew I could figure out where the origin of the offending auditory output was.

I strolled around the parent waiting room, pretending to check out the stacks of pamphlets on the side tables scattered throughout, all the while zeroing in on the source of the sound. Just to the side of the sole, paisley-covered chair in the sea of orange and white leather furniture I found it.

It was a white-noise machine, which, incidentally, was in fact literally white.  The entire machine was white. The speakers, the buttons, the handle, even the cord, all white.  The sound it put out, however, was anything but.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I’ve Got Your Mission Impossible RIGHT Here!!! Noise

I think it’s supposed to be producing the soothing sounds of the ocean. Perhaps they were going for the magical sound waves make when gently caressing the sand-covered shore.

What they got is a cross between static, humming, and an angry raccoon.

I know what happened. Someone told Someone Else to buy a “white-noise machine.” But, the Someone Else misunderstood, and instead bought a “white, noise-machine.”

Mystery solved, I returned to my chair, confident the knowledge of its origin would allow me to ignore the annoying sound.  I was wrong. I could not ignore it. Knowing where it was coming from just made me focus more intently on the sound. Plus, it was so loud, it was making the table next to me vibrate.

I tried to distract myself by answering emails on my phone, reading an article about the sleep patterns of pandas, and cleaning out my purse.  Nothing worked.  I got more and more irritated by that little, white, very noisy box.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I’ve Got Your Mission Impossible RIGHT Here!!! Noise

Soon I found myself wanting to destroy the white noise machine. I gave it the death stare, but it wouldn’t die. I considered stomping on it, but then I realized these people already have my credit card information. Something tells me our HMO doesn’t pay out for broken white noise machines.

When the receptionist stepped out, for what was her third restroom break in less than an hour (I think she might have a bladder problem…or maybe a Starbucks addiction), I took the opportunity to examine the box more closely.

All eyes were on me as I dashed ninja-like across the room, slid down into the paisley covered chair, and picked up the little white box. I knew it would be wrong to rip its guts out. Especially with the room full of witnesses.  Looking closely at the nondescript white cube, I saw that there were indented buttons with tiny letters engraved in them.

I found a button with letters “PWR” engraved in it. I was tempted to use it to turn off the evil little box, but I worried the receptionist would be alarmed by the silence and switch it back on. No, I had to come up with something less obvious.  The Mission Impossible theme song rang through my head.

I turned the little box around until I found my holy grail – the button with “VOL” engraved on it.  It was only set to 10 out of a possible 20, yet was loud enough to impeded conversations.  I worried that if it was set to 20 it would blow the windows out.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I’ve Got Your Mission Impossible RIGHT Here!!! Noise

I slowly placed a fingertip onto the VOL button. The Mission Impossible theme song playing in my head got a whole lot louder.

I pushed the button 3 times, and the read out switched to 7. The change in din was so significant that several other parents looked up from their iPads. I pushed it again, and heard sighs of relief echo from my fellow-waiting-room-mates.

Just then I heard the door knob jiggle, and hastily replaced the box. Every face snapped back to its previous activities, as the receptionist walked back in.  I quickly grabbed a magazine from the table next to me, and pretended to read it, while watching the receptionist ’s face for any sign she’d noticed the change.

She stopped about halfway across the room, and looked around.  It seemed as though she’d noticed something was amiss. I was worried she’d turn the blasted thing back up.  She stopped when her eyes met mine.

“You know what?” she said?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I’ve Got Your Mission Impossible RIGHT Here!!! Noise

“What?” I asked, my voice much squeakier than it had been since 4th grade, when I was interrogated by our dreaded teacher, Mrs. Greer, about who had been the mastermind behind the group effort to flick pencil pieces into her beehive hair-do.

(Yes, it was me. No, I didn’t crack. Yes, I might have said that I was pretty sure her hair was like that when she arrived that morning, and perhaps she should check with her husband. The principal said that he didn’t think that was funny, but I noticed he sure seemed to be working hard not to laugh while she told him about it.)

“I left the key in the bathroom,” the receptionist answered.  I heard someone on the other side of the room sigh with relief.  She must not have been too worried about restroom security, because she didn’t go back for the key.

I was wishing I’d pushed the button another time or two, when I remembered our dear receptionist had a 4-times-or-more-an-hour-restroom break habit.  I figured she’d be out the door again in 15 minutes, or less. So, I sat next to the noise maker, flipping through the magazine pages. Waiting.

I still heard the Mission Impossible theme song in my head. Actually, it might just have been me humming it. I noticed several other parents occasionally throwing a curious glance my way.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I’ve Got Your Mission Impossible RIGHT Here!!! NoiseI was so nervous that I was having trouble reading the words in the People Magazine I had hastily grabbed from the table next to me to use as cover for my clandestine activities.  As I looked more closely I realized I had actually grabbed People en Espanol Magazine. It’s written in Spanish, explaining why trying to read it in English, or inglés, wasn’t working out that well.  I’ve got your “detail-oriented” right here, people.

Thirteen and a half minutes later, our dear receptionist headed out the door, with what must’ve been a spare restroom key. As the door shut, I noticed that every eye in the room was on me.  I picked up the little white cubic offender, and located the “VOL” button again.

I pushed the button twice.  There was an amazing drop in the noise level. I could feel my tension headache beginning to subside, and I heard someone let out an audible sigh of relief, as though they’d just been released from bondage.  Then, just for good measure, I pushed the button twice more. The readout read “1”.  The sound from the machine was a barely audible buzz, which is what I think it was supposed to be in the first place.

Just then, the door knob jiggled, signaling the return of our dear receptionist. Every head snapped back to its reading material or electronic device. I practically threw the white box back to the floor, and grabbed my magazine.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley I’ve Got Your Mission Impossible RIGHT Here!!! Noise

She’s a speedy restroom visitor, our dear receptionist.  She went straight to her desk, and began shuffling papers around.

I looked around the waiting room. I saw smiles on every parent’s face. A couple even did a little silent applause. Nothing like living through a top secret mission to bring people together.

Now that the “relaxing” sound had been reduced to a tolerable din I headed back to my white leather chair, where I knew I would have no trouble focusing on that article about the sleeping patterns of pandas.

Until our dear receptionist needed a better look at the papers on her desk.

She clicked on the desk lamp next to her.  It was a small lamp, shaped like a withering tree. It was probably a designer, one-of-a-kind piece.  Or, maybe it was from WalMart. I’m no lamp expert.

But, there was one thing I knew about that creepy looking lamp.  It was fitted with a florescent bulb that was on its last leg.  There was no doubt about it, because it immediately began buzzing, as only a dying florescent bulb can.

I looked around the room. Every eye was on me.

The Mission Impossible theme song started up again in my head.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What horrific foes have you had to battle while waiting?  Don’t you think running to the bathroom 4 times an hour is a bit too much?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing what you think.

Top 10 Things That Surprise Every Kid Every Time…Gina’s Favorites

Top 10 Things That Surprise Every Kid Every Time…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

We’re reaching the dreaded end of summer, and the bastion of togetherness it’s given our family. All this time together has reminded me how some things never change. So, I knew my Top 10 Things That Surprise Every Kid Every Time post would be perfect for Throwback Day this week.

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Top 10 Things That Surprise Every Kid Every Time

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Things That Surprise Every Kid Every Time...Gina's Favorites Kids POV

Parenting is all about surprises.

Surprise!  You’ll never sleep again!

Surprise!  Everything you own will be sticky forever!

Surprise!  One tight hug from your grubby little monster makes it all worthwhile.

I am constantly surprised by my kids.  I guess on some level I expected that.

But, what really amazes me is how often I surprise my kids.  It’s shocking, really.  Some might even say eye-rolling, mind-numbingly frustrating, but I’ll just stick with surprising.

Here’s 10 of the things that surprise my kids, and probably shock yours, too.

Top 10 Things That Surprise Every Kid Every Time

#10. Shoes:  There’s not a kid on the planet who isn’t surprised that they need shoes to go places.  And, what’s more, there’s not a kid on the planet that has any idea where they put their shoes when they took them off.  The greater the urgency of departure, the greater the difficulty in locating the suddenly mobile and invisible foot coverings.

#9.  Bedtime:  Every child is shocked and amazed every night that they have to go to bed.  They are not tired.  They have no reason to sleep.  And, they can’t figure out why you, their frazzled parent, are making such a big fricking deal about it.

#8.  Flushing:  No child has any knowledge of the need to flush.  They are completely unaware of others lack of desire to happen upon their happy bowl of output.  They have no recollection of ever having been told of the need, nor the process used, to flush.  This part of the loo’ing procedure is always a mystery to them.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Things That Surprise Every Kid Every Time...Gina's Favorites Kids POV#7.  Dessert:  Every child on the planet is under the impression that dessert is a free-range, whenever-you-are-ready kind of eating experience.  They are completely befuddled as to why you, their parent, are opposed to them plopping down to dive head first into the ice cream tub, while you are busy putting the final touches on a healthily-prepared dinner.  When they give into your unreasonable demand of “no sugar right before dinner,” and switch to Cheetos, they are equally mystified by your continued opposition to their scaling of the food pyramid.

#6.  Sharing:  All children are in favor of sharing.  They expect you to share your cookies.  They expect the kids at the park to share the swings.  They expect their brother to share his Legos.  What surprises them is that they must share.  It doesn’t matter if they have 5023 green plastic Army guys or 11018 Polly Pockets or a 5 gallon tub filled with 3 different kinds of popcorn, those are theirs, and theirs alone.  Sharing them with others is a tremendous imposition, and will be met with a DefCon Level Red defense mechanism.

#5.  Coats on a cold day:  If there’s snow on the ground and frost on the window, there will never be a coat on the kid.  Nothing triggers a child’s anti-coat-itis like a really cold morning.  Being required to wear outer wear to the store is an insult.  Insisting your child don anti-frostbite gear to wear to school is akin to insisting said child rub broken glass in his or her eyes.  They are shocked you can be so unreasonable.

#4.  No coat on a hot day:   All children are shocked by their parent’s lack of praise when they do finally relent and agree to wear their parka.  The fact that they chose the hottest day in July to parade about in their snow coat and boots doesn’t seem odd to them, in the least.  They can’t understand why the very same parents that wanted them to wear the very same coat only 6 months earlier are insisting they take it off and leave it at home before taking them to the park.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Things That Surprise Every Kid Every Time...Gina's Favorites Kids POV#3.  School:  Every child’s mind is filled with fog when they are told to get ready for school.  They wonder what this “school” thing is you speak of.  They seem to have some recollection of doing some sort of “school” thing before, but that was ages ago.  They don’t understand why they have to go again today, when they were just there yesterday.  Monday mornings bring a complete school amnesia, which often spreads to parents, as well.

#2.  (pun unintended, but nonetheless giggle worthy) Poop smells bad:  The olfactory qualities of doody surprise a child every time they are exposed to poop-esque fumes, to such an extent that they have an uncontrollable need to announce the presence of the aforementioned fumes to everyone in both the immediate and not so immediate area.

My kids have even requested permission to text their dad, siblings, and friends on multiple occasions when a yell wouldn’t carry far enough to spread the good news about the bad odor.  If we’re in a public place and a stranger created the impressive nasal exhibit, the need to herald its arrival becomes even more urgent and boisterous.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Things That Surprise Every Kid Every Time...Gina's Favorites Kids POV#1.  Washing hands:  Children are, despite having been reminded multiple times throughout each day, every day for their entire life thus far, completely surprised to hear that they need to wash their hands.

Kids could spend the afternoon de-worming the cat, digging in the yard, and helping spread manure over the lawn, and still land directly at the table to eat a sandwich after flying through the back door.  They don’t find the black prints their dirty hands leave on the white bread the least bit unappealing, rather they brag about their smudges and proudly compare with the grungy minions next to them.

One of my kids even said to me once, “You know, mom, if you didn’t keep your hands so clean all the time, your body would probably get used to it and you wouldn’t get so sick when you eat bad stuff.”

Why doesn’t it surprise me that my kid is working out ways to successfully eat bad stuff?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What surprises you about parenting?  What repeatedly surprises your children?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Tuesday Tickles – ocvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Twitter MomSpeak KidSpeak Tuesday Tickles – ocvcTuesday Tickles – ocvc

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets

that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

Don’t miss a giggle.  “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Top 10 Signs It’s Humid

Top 10 Signs It’s Humid

by Gina Valley

People whine about our traffic and sky-high real estate prices, but most everyone loves our weather in Los Angeles.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs It’s Humid  We only dip below freezing on a few nights during the winter.  Just enough for me to justify the beautiful pair of boots living in my closet.

And, during the summer, although the mercury does often rise, it’s a dry heat.

Most of the time.

This week is not most of the time.

It took me a couple days to realize what the problem was.  As I began to analyze all of the data our disturbed SoCal universe was sending out, there was no denying it.

Humidity had hit LA.

Here’s some of what clued me in:

Top 10 Signs It’s Humid 

#10.  I have to chew the air when I take a deep breath.

#9.  When I ask Siri what the weather is she just laughs and laughs.

#8.  Our fish are swimming around outside of their aquarium

#7.  I washed my hair yesterday, and it still hasn’t dried

#6.  There’s a splashing sound when the wind blows.

#5.  Our dogs have learned how to turn on the ceiling fan.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs It’s Humid  #4.  I’ve had to utter the phrase “Underpants are not a complete outfit, no matter how hot it is” to 3 of my 4 sons.

#3.  Laundry starts to mildew before the wash cycle is even finished.

#2.  The desert tortoise that lives in our backyard keeps coming in the house, and lying on the air conditioning vent.

#1.  It’s taking all of my self-control (and a lot of lowfat ice cream) to keep me from stabbing people who comment “It’s not the heat; it’s the humidity,” with a fork.

It’s ok to serve popsicles for dinner 3 nights in a row, as long as they’re different colors each night, right?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Is it hot where you are? How do you stay cool when the heat and humidity hit? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Seriously Today – I Don’t Know What To Say

Seriously Today – I Don’t Know What To Say

by Gina Valley

I’m a bit lost today, as I sit down to write this.

I don’t know what to say.

Haven’t been in this position before, having suddenly taken a week or two of time off.  Sort of checked out, as it were, without leaving a message.

Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Mental Health Mental Illness Seriously Today – I Don’t Know What To SayI’ve discussed it quite a bit with myself.  I’ve logged a lot of driving hours over the last couple weeks, giving me lots of time to argue with myself, much to the amusement of the surrounding drivers stuck in our lovely LA freeway traffic.  Anything to share a smile. I’m a giver like that.

Do I explain my absence?

The world continued to spin, weeds grew, babies were birthed, bombs were dropped.  Clearly, the world does not revolve around me or my tiny part of it.  I’m always ahead on contracted work, so nothing was late there. Although some people did contact me about my uncharacteristic lack of output, I’m sure most didn’t even notice.  We’re busy, all of us, over-stuffing our 24 hours each day, after all.

“Just jump back into it,” the one hand said. No explanation needed.  Pump out the funny. Gloss over it. Move on. No one will be the wiser.

“Yes,” the other hand said. “No one will be the wiser, if you just gloss over it. That’s the problem with doing that.”

That is a problem. The “glossing over” bit, I mean.  Too many people “gloss over it.”

A small part of the reason for my absence was dealing with getting proper health care for one of my children after he fell 10 feet, landing on concrete, while scaling a building. He will be fine. We are thankful he did not receive a serious head or spinal injury. He should be mostly healed up in a month.  In 6 to 12 months, he’ll have a surgery to correct what cannot heal without help. Not fun, but finite.

Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Mental Health Mental Illness Seriously Today – I Don’t Know What To SayStressful, worrisome, heart-rending, but something most parents go through at some point with at least one of their children.

The main reason for my sudden absence from social media, blogging, work, pretty much everything, is because of one of my other children’s illness.  Illness that you don’t go through. Illness you stay in, because it’s not finite.

This is the issue I struggle with discussing.

On the one hand, I want to, and feel a responsibility to, maintain my child’s privacy.

On the other hand, I know many families struggle with this and feel they’re alone, and I feel a responsibility to let them know that they’re not alone. They are not the only ones.

My child suffers from mental illness.

To protect my child’s privacy I’ve chosen to use the letter “Q” instead of my child’s name.

Actually, Q has been diagnosed with a couple mental illnesses, not an uncommon thing amongst those who have received thorough mental health evaluations.  Q is not my only child with mental illness. Most of the time, Q’s illness is not apparent to others, as she goes about her day, although it’s always there and always requires at least a bit of Q’s energy.

Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Mental Health Mental Illness Seriously Today – I Don’t Know What To SayQ’s illness sometimes swells up into a huge, overwhelming wave, pulling Q under.

That’s what happened recently, causing Q to have terrible problems while struggling with it. Q, as most of us are prone to do, made some bad choices while under the tremendous stress.  Those bad choices, coupled with the illness itself, resulted in hospitalization and some long term issues Q and the rest of our family will have to deal with for quite some time.

I’m sharing our family’s struggle with you, for several reasons.

First of all, if your child has mental illness, I want to make sure you realize you’re not alone, it’s not your fault, and help is available. Mental health facilities for minors are lacking, but help is available.  Don’t give up. Insist on the care that helps your child. Not every option works for every person.

Secondly, if you suffer from a mental illness, I want to make sure you also know you’re not alone. Mental illness can feel like an isolating experience.  Reach out to those around you. Seek treatment. And, seek additional treatment if you are not finding relief with what you have. Everyone’s needs are different, and needs change over time. Keep advocating for your own health.

Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Mental Health Mental Illness Seriously Today – I Don’t Know What To SayThirdly, if you know someone who suffers from mental illness or has a child who does, ask them how you can help. Everyone’s needs are different.

Friends have taken my kids to the park or to the movies while I’ve spent time seeking care for their sibling.  Others have made us dinner or helped with the laundry.  Prayers and sympathy are wonderful, but having practical needs met has also been a big help for me.

Most importantly, remember that mental illness is an illness, not a character flaw.  No one is faulted for having the flu or a broken leg or cancer. No one should be faulted by anyone, including themselves, for having mental illness either.

And, lastly, no matter how bad things seem today, they won’t stay that way forever. Give yourself a break by taking every opportunity you can to Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you have a family member or close friend who struggles with mental illness?  How do you reach out to them?  Do you have a mental illness?  What have you found is most helpful for friends to do for you?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

If you need help and don’t know where to turn, click on this link for a list of hotline numbers which may be of help to you.  Also, talk to your doctor, your family, your pastor, your teacher, your friend, anyone around you.  Tell people you need help.  You don’t have to face this alone.

Photos courtesy of Stockxchng. Used with permission.

The ER – Like Disneyland, But Cheaper

The ER – Like Disneyland, But Cheaper

by Gina Valley

We spent the evening in the emergency room, because my 13 year old son lost a battle with gravity while climbing up the side of a building. He fell 10 feet, but luckily the concrete floor cushioned his fall.  He has 7 stitches in his lip, 5 loose teeth, and a fractured wrist to help him remember the importance of having a spotter before his next flight.  But, we are tremendously blessed that he was not seriously, permanently injured.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley The ER – Like Disneyland, But Cheaper Emergency RoomSince our week promises to be filled with even more medical fun, as I take my son to visit every medical specialist in the county, I figured my The Emergency Room – Like Disneyland, But Cheaper post would be quite fitting for this week’s Throwback Day.

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

The Emergency Room – Like Disneyland, But Cheaper

Considering going to Disneyland this summer? Save yourself some money and go to the ER instead.  It’s practically the same thing and a whole lot cheaper!

Certainly, the ER is not a well recognized vacation destination (except to my family.  We hit it several times a year), but think about it:  the employees are all dressed in costumes, a sandwich will run you $12, they nail you for at least $100 just to walk through the door, they take your picture, and the piped in music may not be It’s A Small World but it causes the same insanity.

Plus, emergency rooms are easy to find – just follow an ambulance to the ER nearest to your home – and they offer loads of free parking.

This year, why not head off to the real magic kingdom for a change?

The first order of business during your visit to the ER is to wait in line and to hand over your credit card, exactly like at  Disneyland!  And, the similarities don’t stop there!

A variety of rides are available.  The Wheel Chair Round Up is the ride most visitors choose to go on first.  Depending on the operator, this can be a relaxing jaunt or a thrilling free-for-all.   The “Doctors Only” Stool Spin becomes more and more irresistible as the evening wears on, but it’s not recommended for those who’ve had a meal before arriving or whose visit was spurned on due to a head wound.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley The ER – Like Disneyland, But Cheaper Emergency Room

For a special group of visitors to the ER, Try To Hit The Basin provides a “fun” test of aiming skills, while the smaller Fill The Cup provides a test of both mettle and determination.

The ER House Of Horrors, which included live leeches, filthy hands, and frequent amputations, has been closed for 100 years, but roving characters, including Scary Lab Tech, Super Phlebotomist, and Shaky Handed Nurse, provide a throw-back to years gone by.

Show schedule and topics change daily, sometimes hourly, but often include Patient Screaming Randomly In Next BayOld Man Who Lost His PantsNurse Gossip Hour, and Addict Demanding Drugs From Receptionist.

Fun attractions and games include the shocking How Much Do You Really Weigh?, Guess When The Buzzing Flickering Florescent Light Will Go Out, and The Parade Of Gurneys.

Not to be out done by the original Magic Kingdom, ER’s offer a variety of fine dining experiences, including The Psycho-esque Basement Cafeteria Right Next To The Morgue and Bank of Vending Machines.  Fuzzy Candy From The Bottom Of Mom’s Purse is available seasonally.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley The ER – Like Disneyland, But Cheaper Emergency RoomNearby accommodations include Sticky Back-Killing Waiting Room Chairs,  Empty Bed In The Next Bay They May Need Any SecondSpare Gurney In The Hall, and They Call This A Sleeping Chair But It’s Really Vinyl Hell. No Autoclub discounts are given.

And, just like with Disneyland, although you were glad to arrive there a mere 12 hours earlier, you are nothing but thrilled and exhausted when it’s time to go home!

But, also just like Disneyland, the ER likes to have the last laugh.  It enjoys a hearty one as you drag your exhausted family, trailing their pink plastic pitcher and golden rod basin souvenirs behind them, throughout the parking lot trying to remember which car you brought and where you left it.

Be sure to take lots of pictures.  It’s a vacation you’ll never forget!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have you been anywhere magical lately?  How about somewhere not so magical?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Tuesday Tickles – svdvc

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Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets

that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

Don’t miss a giggle.  “Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Is That A Hole?

Is That A Hole?

by Gina Valley

“There’s a hole in our kitchen door.”

I announced this to The Professor.

Without looking up from his iPad, he responded, “There’s supposed to be a hole. That’s how doors work.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is That A Hole? DIYIf he wasn’t the straight man in our comedy-of-life team, I’d think my husband was trying to be funny. Chemistry professors are not often funny. Well, not on purpose, anyway.

“No, not the doorway. There’s a hole in the actual door.”

Hub looked toward the door with a suspicious, but clearly willed-to-be-blind-eye. “I don’t see a hole.”

Now, lest you think I’m making a mountain out of a door hole, you need to know that I would not usually even mention a hole like this to him. Normally, I would just fix it. But, this was his hole. Sort of.

A couple weeks ago, The Professor decided that in order to tighten the hinges on the door between our kitchen and dining room, he needed to take it out to the yard. I expressed doubt at not only the necessity of the door going on this road trip for such an adjustment, but also that said door would be returned promptly to its proper home.

That door is the only thing that prevents children and dogs from flying through our kitchen every time I open our oven.

I don’t know what it is about me opening our oven door, but it draws crowds more quickly than yelling “Fried chicken!” at the church potluck.

Some sort of bat signal must be sent off when I start to reach for the handle, which tells every child and pet in the region to immediately make a run through our kitchen.  Maybe the Boy Scouts are offering some sort of merit badge for anyone who can make The Valley Kitchen Run With Open Oven Door in under 12 parsecs (yes, I know a parsec is really a distance, but I was going for a Star Wars tie-in there).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is That A Hole? DIY

So, I need that door in its assigned position, as kitchen security sentry.

The Professor assured me as he carried the door out to the yard that he would have it back and re-hung within the hour.  I was sure he truly believed that. I was also sure it would not happen.

After 2 days of the door still in our yard, I made it clear to my dear hub that I would be doing no cooking of any kind anywhere in our house until that door was back where it belonged. Then, for emphasis, I took our kids out to dinner (in retrospect that was kind of punishing me).

When we returned, lo and behold, the door was back where it belongs.  But, it had a hole in it.

That’s the hole we both stood staring at.

“There is a hole.  It’s right there.”  I pointed out. “You took it outside, you left it there, and now it’s got a hole in it. I can’t believe you are not seeing that.”

“All I see is a dent,” he noted.

“A dent?  You call that a dent? Well, if it’s a dent, it’s a well -drained dent, because you can look through it and see inside the door,” I retorted in my most dramatic, martyr-like voice.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Is That A Hole? DIY

“No one is ever going to even notice…” he began.

I decided to stop him before his safety became an issue.  “You do not want to finish that sentence.”

“OK. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” he said reassuringly. I was not reassured.

Today, after I got home from spending the afternoon shuttling our kids all over the SoCal area, I went straight to our kitchen door.  I wasn’t really checking to see if he’d fixed his divot. I was really checking to make sure the door was still there.

It was.

And, surprisingly, the hole/dent was gone.

Still, I stared at the door.

Not because the hole is gone.

But, because,

There’s a lump on our kitchen door.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are you a do-it-yourself-er or a write-a-check-for-someone-else-to-do-it-er?  Is there a yard-pile-er in your family?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.  And, please, pass me the sand paper. I’ve got a lump to level.

Friday Funnies – sdovc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovcFriday Funnies – sdovc

It’s Friday.

End of the week. Start of the weekend.

Pull up a chair & grab your favorite frosty beverage.

Time to get your giggle on.

 

Friday Funnies –

Smiles From Around The World Wide Web

Complied by Gina Valley

Have you fanned me up on Facebook? If not, here’s your chance!  Click on over and hit “like” so you don’t miss a giggle (be sure to hover and select “Show in News Feed” while you’re at it, so Facebook will show you the giggles).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovc

I hate when that happens!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovc

Might need to replace the swear jar, too.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovc

I’m tempted to lock my family out for a couple days whenever our kitchen is finally clean!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovc

I think I need a 12-step program to help me stop doing this!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovc

If it was, I know who’d be winning!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovc

Please don’t give our dogs any ideas!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovcSometimes, you have to go to the pro.

Be sure to visit the Gina Valley Facebook page and to “like” me up.

 

Some Of My Favorite Pins On Pinterest:

Consider this your formal invitation to check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovc

Always good advice!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovc

I should put this up in place of the mirror in our kids’ bathroom. It would really speed up the turn around time.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovc

Yeah! Let’s try that!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Friday Funnies - sdovc

I’m going to try this when it’s time to call everyone down to dinner.

All the rest of my pins for the week are here on my Latest Great Pins Board.

If you’re trying to put off making dinner, you can check out all of my boards on Pinterest.

 

This Week On The Gina Valley Blog:

My recent humor posts include

Friday Funnies – suvc (a weeks worth of funnies),

How To TOTALLY Over Do It!!!…Gina’s Favorites (if one is good, seven is better),

Top 10 Things That Make A Grumpy Teen Grumpier (they tend to be a bit easy to bother, even when you’re trying not to bother them),

Tuesday Tickles – sqvc (a week’s worth of funny quips),

How To Choose Your Relatives (yes, you can pick them),

Marriage Changes Us…Gina’s Favorites (changes after the walk down the aisle).

I hope they gave you some giggles, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina             

What made you smile this week? Did you have a good week?  Any big plans this weekend?  Have you scheduled time to relax?  I’m looking forward to hearing about it!  Shoot me a comment with all the details!

Marriage Changes Us…Gina’s Favorites

Marriage Changes Us…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Two of my sons are away at church camp this week, affording my hub and me a bit of unexpected privacy. I found myself laughing last night as we discussed how amazing it is to get to have a conversation uninterrupted for 20 minutes. Funny how that’s not what we would have been doing with that uninterrupted 20 minutes before we were married!

So, I thought it fitting to have my Marriage Changes Us post be our source for Throwback Day giggles this week.

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Marriage Changes Us

Jason Clark of @JasonTheDad shot out a tweet that made me literally laugh out loud.  Thank you for that, by the way, Jason.  Still giggling!

Here it is:

Here’s my reply:

 

His tweet didn’t just make me laugh.  It made me think about how marriage changes us.  I’m not saying that’s bad.  Not saying it’s good.   Just saying it’s different.

It’s really different.

And, it’s funny.

Pre VS Post

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Marriage Changes Us...Gina's FavoritesVideo cameras in the bedroom

  • Pre – night to see who’s the most adventurous
  • Post – night to see who is snoring and hogging the bed (credit to Jason on this one!)

She says “I’m hot!’

  • Pre – he tears off his clothes and jumps into bed
  • Post – he jumps out of bed and turns on the fan

Friday night

  • Pre – standing date – dinner at a hip new restaurant and then seeing the latest hot movie
  • Post -standing date – samples at Costco for dinner and then seeing if you can get the hot roast chicken home without it leaking all over the car

Nail polish

  • Pre – trying to impress him before each date with perfectly polished toe and fingernails
  • Post – pressing him into painting her toenails for her so she’ll look nice for her night out with the girls.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Marriage Changes Us...Gina's FavoritesHis Gut

  • Pre – sucking it in every time she so much as glances his way for the duration of the date
  • Post – asking her to watch as he tries to push it out far enough to use it to operate the TV remote control

Dinner

  • Pre – she cooks her special spaghetti and meatballs dinner for him
  • Post – she over-cooks water until it burns, then calls to ask him to pick-up pizza on the way home.

Children

  • Pre – dreaming about the exquisite, perfect geniuses your progeny would be
  • Post – never dreaming because your progeny never let you sleep

Sub-wardrobing

  • Pre – Her skivvies are beautiful and matching
  • Post – if her skivvies are both clean she calls that a match

Underneath it all

  • Pre – he slips into silk boxers he bought because they’re her favorite color
  • Post – he slips into a pair of his Walmart cheapos that he found on the bedroom floor

Movies

  • Pre – He asks her what her favorite part of their shared favorite movie is
  • Post – He asks her if he has seen the movie they’re currently watching, and, when she says that he has, he asks her if he liked it.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Marriage Changes Us...Gina's FavoritesShaving

  • Pre – everywhere everyday just in case
  • Post – only the basics without a two day advanced warning.

Candles

  • Pre – candles burning in the bedroom to set the mood for romance
  • Post – candles burning in the kitchen to cover up the stench created when someone didn’t take their turn at doing the dishes.

Which reminds me – it’s my turn today for dishes.

I wonder if we have any candles.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What changed when you walked down the aisle?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.