Top 10 Signs You’ve Had TOO MUCH Candy

Top 10 Signs You’ve Had TOO MUCH Candy

by Gina Valley

It’s the most candy-centric time of the year.

There’s candy everywhere you look.

People are talking about candy. People are buying candy. People are eating candy. People are dropping candy wrappers on the floor.

Or, maybe that’s just at my house.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs You’ve Had Too Much Candy HalloweenNot only is this the time of year when we tell our children it’s ok to take candy from strangers, but we actually dress them up like little crazy folks and send them out to beg for candy.

The hypnotic sweet scent of candy surrounds you the moment you step into any store, causing you to mindlessly grab and cling to bags of Kit Kats and mini Snickers, as though you’re lost at sea and they’re life vests.

Is this sugar tsunami threatening to drown you? Have you had too much candy? Is it time to set down the bag of Starbursts and to slowly back away before anyone else gets hurt?

How can you be sure?

If you (or your child or your spouse) meet any of the following qualifications, you (or he or she) have had too much candy:

Top 10 Signs You’ve Had Too Much Candy

#10.  Your commute to work took half its usual time & you didn’t even take your car.

#9.  You know what the fox said.

#8.  You can see sound.

#7.  You stirred your morning coffee with a Snickers bar & followed it with a Milky Way chaser.

#6.  You can recite The Song of Hiawatha 10 times in a row without taking a breath.

#5.  You swam ten laps at the gym & never got wet.

#4.  You sent your daughter’s hamster into a sugar coma just by breathing on it.

#3.  You didn’t pay attention to what was discussed at your morning staff meeting, because you were too busy picking M&M characters to match each person seated around the table.

#2.  You complained to the waiter at lunch that your salad had no colorful candy coating.

#1.  You did that Gangnam Style thing so fast that you set the carpet on fire.

If you still aren’t sure whether you (or your spouse or your child) have had too much candy, down one more Milk Dud, then see if the fluorescent lights in your office get brighter.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How flows the candy tide at your house?  Are you chocolate or anti-chocolate? Do you monitor the candy intake or just hope it all disappears soon?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

How To Know If Your Kids Have Had Too Much Candy

How To Know If Your Kids Have Had Too Much Candy

by Gina Valley

I don’t know how things are going at your house, but around here things have been quite candy-centric lately.

My children have occupied their every waking moment with counting their candy, comparing their candy, trading their candy, and, of course, eating their candy.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally How To Know If Your Kids Have Had Too Much Candy I have occupied much of my time telling them to put away their candy, to calm down the heated negotiations about their candy, and, of course, to pick up the blasted wrappers from their candy that are now scattered throughout our home like some sort of New Year’s Eve confetti.

My pack has also managed to scarf down the leftovers from the giant bowl of candy I’d prepared to hand out to the throngs of kids knocking on our door.

The bowl was still quite full after the designated Night O’ Candy Begging, despite our having let each and every child who came to our door take as much as they wanted to, as we only had 15 kids come a knockin’ (our neighborhood is not exactly a hot bed of Trick or Treating activity.  Even my pack goes to a different neighborhood to Trick or Treat).

With all this candy saturation, it is important for a parent to know when his or her child (or his or her self or his or hers spouse’s self) has had too much candy (yes, there is such a thing).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally How To Know If Your Kids Have Had Too Much Candy My years of parenting and candying experience have helped me to develop a keen sense for when someone has passed that line dividing Candy Nirvana and Candy Insanity.

If your child (or your spouse or you) meets any of the following qualifications, he or she (or you) has had too much candy:

  • can run faster than not just every dog, but also every car in your neighborhood
  • has left indentations in every wall in your home from bouncing off of them
  • can switch off the light and be out of the room before it gets dark
  • when forced to sit down causes every piece of furniture in the room to vibrate and the hamster’s wheel to spin
  • has not stopped talking, even to take a breath, for the last 48 hours (also an indication of being a 3 year old or my Aunt Bessie).
  • Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally How To Know If Your Kids Have Had Too Much Candy can not only say the entire alphabet forwards and backwards in one burst, but also has added in 15 new letters
  • sends your diabetic cat into a sugar coma just by breathing on her
  • checks out his or her hamburger, and yells, “ Why isn’t there nougat on this?!?!”
  • does that River Dance thing so fast smoke is produced and groves are made in the floor
  • causes fluorescent lights to glow every time he or she (or you) walks near them

If you still aren’t sure whether your child (or yourself or your spouse) has had too much candy, slip a mini Snickers into their beverage, then see if they can swim a lap without getting wet.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How flows the candy tide at your house?  Do you monitor the candy intake or just hope it all disappears soon?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

How To Survive The Candy Zombies

How To Survive The Candy Zombies

by Gina Valley

My kids are so hopped up on candy today they can see sound.

For a teacher, the day after Halloween is about as close an approximation to experiencing hell as is possible on this green earth.

The only way to make the experience even more painful is if it rains the day after Halloween, and the students must stay inside for recess.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally How To Survive The Candy Zombies – A Guide For Teachers Halloween Candy(By the way, teachers, sorry about the 10 pounds of candy in each of my kids’ backpacks.  I knew if it stayed home with me today I might just as well plaster it directly onto my rear. 

I’m hoping my kids will share it with the other children.  Or, that someone will steal it.  I don’t really care which scenario comes to fruition.  I just don’t want that stuff coming back home with them.)

As a former educator and current friend to many educators, I thought that I’d take this opportunity to help out these oft unsung heroes.

To that end, I’ve written some lesson plans for you, our frontline kid-wranglers.  I always appreciate what you do, doubly so the day after Halloween.  And, there’s not a chance I’m letting my kids stay home the day after Halloween.  They’re totally hopped up on sugar. So, I figure this is the least I can do.

If you’re an educator, please feel free to use these lesson plans, with my blessing.  If not, be sure to pass these on to all of the teachers and homeschoolers in your life.

Math:  Throw a deck of cards into the wind, and tell your class that they must be sure to find all 52 cards before returning to your classroom.  Be sure to tuck at least one of the cards into your pocket before tossing the deck up.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally How To Survive The Candy Zombies – A Guide For Teachers Halloween CandyPhysics:  Study centripetal force by removing the lid from a bottle of glitter, sitting in your desk chair (with your arm extended), and having two of your strongest students spin the chair until all of the glitter has escaped from the bottle (did I mention a dust mask is wise for you and your students?).

Virology:  Teach your children about the rapid spreading and difficulty of eradicating viruses by requiring the youngsters to recapture every piece of glitter set free during Physics.

PE (Physical Education):  Have your students run a marathon.  Yes, a marathon.  I know that’s like 50 or a hundred laps around your school (depending on the size of the school), but it’ll only take them bout 10 or 20 minutes, since they are sugar-super-charged.  You might have time for them to run 2.

Allow the winner to call the cafeteria every hour to ask if their refrigerator is running, and to tell them they better go chase it when they say that it is.

Religion:  If you teach at a religious school, have your students use scripture to prove that sugar is the devil.

Dance:  Cover the floor (preferably in a long hall) with bubble wrap.  Blast “the Bunny Hop” and have your class do the bunny hop until every last bubble is popped.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally How To Survive The Candy Zombies – A Guide For Teachers Halloween Candy

Music:  Give your students kazoos.  Have them hum the theme from Star Wars, while running around, bobbing and weaving, to simulate that big battle scene at the end of the movie around The Death Star.

Science: Using binoculars (or 2 paper towel tube) have each student find and follow an ant all the way to its nest.  Then, time permitting, count the other inhabitants in the nest.  Don’t panic when your students eat some of the ants.  A little protein helps balance out all of that sugar.

Ancient Egypt: Get 55 of those big, cheap grocery store balls (the kind in those giant bins that if you take one out of, the whole flock escapes).  Scatter them around the school.  Tell your students to find all 55 and to stack them into a pyramid.

English: Have your class read a story aloud, as a group, but, do it by taking turns reading just one word at a time, starting from the end of the story and working backward to the beginning.  For extra fun, assign one student to always say the word “pickle-face” when it’s his turn to read.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally How To Survive The Candy Zombies – A Guide For Teachers Halloween Candy

History:  Have your students create “powdered wigs” for each other out of wet toilet paper.  Have them stay out in the sunshine until the wigs are dry.

Spelling: Have your students stand in buckets of water in their stocking feet (if you’re short on buckets, just squirt their feet with a hose).  Have them write each of their spelling words 5 times on the playground using their wet foot prints (If it’s freezing where you live, skip the water, leave their shoes on, and have buckets full of chalk dust to step in and make tracks with).

Problem Solving:  Tell your students to hide anywhere at school, and that you will seek them out.  When the end of the day bell rings, announce loudly “All-y, all-y out come free!” and explain to them that they hid so well, that you couldn’t find them.

Lastly, I recommend you bring a case of Red Bull and make the coffee in the teachers’ lounge with it.

That’s really your only hope for keeping up with the students.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you have any suggestions for teachers?  How would you handle a room full of children with pure sugar pumping through their veins?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Top 10 Reasons I Have To Buy More Candy…Again

Top 10 Reasons I Have To Buy More Candy…Again

by Gina Valley

We need candy, and we have no candy.

It’s not like on those days where I want to scream, “I need some candy or I’m going to totally freak out!”  Today, we need it to hand out to the throngs of neighborhood children who will come to our door begging for it.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Reasons I Have To Buy More Candy…Again  Halloween It’s really those throngs of children’s fault we don’t have any candy.  You see, by “throngs of children” I mean the 6 to 15 children who will knock on our door.  One year we only had 3.  Our neighborhood is not exactly a bastion of Trick or Treat activity.  Even our kids Trick or Treat in a different neighborhood, where the houses are closer together, and there are lots of children.

So, since we know we’ll have few partakers, we know there’ll be lots of candy left.   Since we know we’ll have lots left, I buy the kind we really like (as if there’s some candy we don’t like!) (Well, no one but The Professor likes licorice, but I don’t think that’s really candy.  It tastes like evil).

And, since I buy the kind we really like and we know there will be extra, we tend to eat a bit, in advance, just to be sure it’s good.  We’re really watching out for the children.

But, our tendency to run quality-control taste-testing on the sugary goodness isn’t the only reason I’m heading to the store for candy again, for the, I kid you not, sixth time this year (that’s a record for us).

We have a few other candy consumption issues.

Top 10 Reasons I Have To Buy More Candy…Again

#10.  Because when I said to my kids that they could each have 3 pieces of candy while I was at an evening meeting, they heard “have all 3 pounds.”

#9.  Because when I told my 12 year old he could bring some candy to school for his friends, he neglected to mention that everyone in the whole 6th grade is his friend.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Reasons I Have To Buy More Candy…Again  Halloween #8.  Because I’ve cut off my 17 year old’s Oreo supply, so he’s mainlining Rolos (he was up to 2 packs of those yummy cookies a day) (I wish I had his metabolism)(I don’t think I even have a metabolism).

#7.  Because my eldest daughter had that very special visitor last week and no one was feeling brave enough to come between her and the bag of Snicker bars.

#6.  Because our boy puppy can reach the center of the dining room table, can take the heavy glass lid off of the pumpkin-shaped candy canister, and can (and did) inhale all of the candy there in (wrappers included) before you can finish yelling, “No, Bear! Get down!” (He’s big, he’s goofy, but, man alive, is he fast!).

#5.  Because when you’re helping your child write a report about the political situation in middle and eastern Europe during the 1790’s and it’s after 11PM, keeping both of your mouths busy chewing caramels helps to preserve your relationship.

#4.  Because our girl puppy likes to be chased and thought it was great fun to grab the bag of Twix while it was still in the grocery bag, run around the backyard in the rain, and shake it until it exploded like a piñata.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally Top 10 Reasons I Have To Buy More Candy…Again  Halloween

#3.  Because some days my kids drive me nuts, and a mini Hershey’s with almonds (or 6 or 16) is the only thing keeping me from stuffing them into one of those If It Fits, It Ships Boxes and shipping them to Timbuktu.

#2.  Because I really wasn’t as specific as I should have been when we were running late and I said to “Pack something you can pack quickly in your lunch, because you’re going to miss your ride!” to my kids.

#1.  Because the walk from the grocery store to the car is a lot longer than you’d think. And, even if you didn’t need the nourishment to survive that, you need it to keep up your strength up for the drive home, which can last an eternity (I’m rounding up, slightly, from 10 minutes).

I’m just hoping the candy angels are smiling on me, and there’s still some good stuff left at the store.  I don’t want to be that lady who hands out the reject candy.

Or gets stuck eating it.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you buy your candy ahead of time and run the risk of consuming it?  Or, do you wait until the last minute and run the risk of getting stuck with the reject candy?  Are you dressing up for Halloween this year?  How about your kids?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

I’m Somebunny

I’m  Somebunny

by Gina Valley

We’re all exhausted from traveling.   We just got home from a couple days of services for my husband’s mom.

I’m always amazed at how tired sitting all day while traveling makes us.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley I’m Somebunny Easter Candy Traveling

My kids are crashed in bed, so it’s time for me to morph into the Easter Bunny and fill baskets with all kinds of goodies.  I will, of course, reserve the right to claim my 10% of all chocolate.

I’m really just tasting it to make sure that it’s good.  I’m a giver like that.  Especially with those little chocolate eggs wrapped in foil.  Those are so yummy.  I sample several of each color to make sure they are all equally delicious.  Attention to detail matters.

Now, if I could find the tape, I could seal up these baskets so I’m not tempted to sample any more.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley I’m Somebunny Easter Candy TravelingAnd, has anyone seen that big roll of cellophane I bought to wrap the baskets in?  Maybe we’ll go with aluminum foil this year.

Happy Easter to you and yours.

May your chocolate never melt and may your black jelly beans be few and far between.

Laugh Out Loud!                                        

-gina

Who is the Easter Bunny at your house?  What’s your favorite Easter treat?  Do you like the black jelly beans?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

What’s SCARIER Than Zombies?

What’s SCARIER Than Zombies?

I’m still out in the business travel jungle, so we’re continuing with our week of RetroGina posts.  Today, we will revisit my Who ARE These People? post.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Relatives People Changing Patience Mystery Cake Of The DayThis post was inspired by my parents.  It’s a consistent reader favorite, and continues to ring true in our family.  I hope it’ll bring lots of giggles to yours.

You can read my Who ARE These People? post below in its entirety, or, for you purists, you can click one of the awesome links and scoot on over to the original post and read it there.  Totally your call.  Feel the power.

Either way, I’ll meet you at Who ARE These People? so we can share some laughs.

Who ARE These People?

I try to take my kids the 1400-ish miles to visit my parents a couple times a year.

But I can’t.

We can go to their house.  We can visit the people who live there and look just like my parents.  But they are not my parents.

I don’t know who these people are, but they are not my parents.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Relatives People Changing Patience Mystery Cake Of The DayMy mom never baked a “Cake of the Day,” or, right before bedtime, or anytime for that matter, never encouraged us to “Have another big piece of cake or two to finish it up”because there’ll be a new cake baked in the morning.  Today’s Cake of The Day was chocolate, by the way.

My parents never let the dog sleep in our rooms, much less our beds.  Heck, our dogs were rarely allowed to hang out indoors at all.  I know my parents would never let their giant golden retriever beg for and receive food from the dinner table.  And breakfast table.  And lunch table.  And snack table.

My parents never said that we could “watch whatever you like” on TV, or “Let’s watch another movie. You can sleep in if you’re too tired in the morning.”  I grew up under the impression that staying up late and sleeping in was a character flaw.  These people encourage everyone in the house to do it, and occasionally join in themselves.  Who are they?

My parents never loaded us into the car for a trip, be it to Grandma’s house, Disneyland, or the mall, after 5:00AM.  Usually, 4:00AM was the goal.  We were told we “have to get an early start” so often that I thought it was a federal law.  These people scoffed at the idea of waking my kids before 8:00AM to start packing up our van for our trip.  “Let them sleep,” they said.  “They’re young.  They need to sleep.”  What?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Relatives People Changing Patience Mystery Cake Of The DayMy parents would never hire someone to bring in a crane to remove a couple of the 150 foot tall pine trees in the forest in their “backyard” to make a better sledding run.  I believe we were told to “steer around” any obstacles in our path while sledding.  Steer around?  How do you steer around?  Does that mean bounce off? ‘Cause that’s what we did!

My dad would never make a tool for girls who don’t want to touch the fish they just caught to hold up their quarry for a photo without having to touch the slimy, flapping thing.  I was told that slime was good for my skin and would keep them soft.  As I recall my soft hands stank for a week after each fishing trip.

My parents would never say that children shouldn’t help with chores while they’re visiting their grandparents.  I don’t know who these people are who keep singing the “They’re on vacation.  They don’t have to help,” refrain every time I tell one of my kids to take out the trash or to clear the table, but I know they aren’t my parents.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Relatives People Changing Patience Mystery Cake Of The DayMy parents would never have a candy dish they constantly refill throughout the day so as to ensure children had an unending source of sugar readily available to them.  I don’t know who these people are who laugh about the trail of candy wrappers through their house, and say, “Isn’t that Sweet?”  Isn’t that sweet?  I don’t know.  I’m too confused to think.  I remember candy wrapper dropping costing me candy privileges for a week when I was a kid.

They don’t mind feet on the couch or toys everywhere, and just said, “We can vacuum tomorrow!”

Who are these people? And can I get that chocolate cake recipe?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What are/were your grandparents like?  Did your parents disappear, too, when they became grandparents?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Thank you for reading!

 

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After Halloween

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After Halloween

I understand.  I know how it is.  You were up late wrangling costumed, candy-snorting, sugar-hopped kids, some of whom were adults.  They wouldn’t sleep because they were too tired. It was single digits before you finally crashed, nearly comatose, onto your own bed.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Halloween Candy Hyper Kids No Sleep Mask Chainsaw Puppy PoodleAfter you dragged yourself to the loo this morning, and steadied yourself between the commode and the sink, you were shocked to see that you still had your Night of the Living Dead mask on.

Then, you remembered.

You don’t own a Night of the Living Dead mask.  That’s your face on no sleep, too much candy, and possibly some questionable liquid consumption choices.

The only thing you want to do is to crawl back to bed and sleep until Thanksgiving.

But, Halloween isn’t a real holiday, so they expect you to show up to work the morning after it, hopefully bearing leftover treats from the evening’s festivities.  You want to call in and tell them you can’t make it, but the sugar and hyper kids have dulled your mind and you can’t think of a valid reason to give your boss as to why you can’t possibly make it into work today.

No problem.

I’ve got you covered.

Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Go To Work The Day After Halloween:

#10   Your kids are so hopped up on sugar that you have to go shopping for extra-strength spatulas to peel them off of the ceiling. 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Halloween Candy Hyper Kids No Sleep Mask Chainsaw Puppy Poodle#9   Your foot is stuck in one of those plastic candy gathering jack-o-lanterns, so you can’t drive your car.

#8   You have to wait by your door for your neighbor to return your chainsaw and life-sized skeleton so the UPS guy doesn’t try to take it.  Again.

#7   You’ve slipped in a puddle of melted chocolate and landed on a Sugar Daddy and are now permanently affixed to the floor.

#6   Your kids used all of the toilet paper for mummy costumes and you can’t come out of the bathroom until someone goes to the store.

#5   Hurricane Sandy made your son’s Sponge Bob Square Pants costume swell to 300 times its normal size and it’s blocking your car in.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Halloween Candy Hyper Kids No Sleep Mask Chainsaw Puppy Poodle#4   Your poodle ran right into the middle of the frozen bubble gum bubble blowing contest last night, causing multiple explosions, so you have to spend today picking all of the bubble gum out of her fur.

#3   You have to stand guard over your kids’ Halloween candy so your spouse doesn’t eat all the good stuff, causing your children to need expensive counseling sessions, which would drive up the company healthcare benefits costs.

#2   Somebody broke off more than a piece of your Kit Kat.

#1  The cape from your Superman costume is snagged in the door and you can’t get off of the L-train.

Let me know if you need a note.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What’s the hardest part of the day after Halloween, or any big deal day, for you and your crew?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Please Don’t Eat the Chocolate Chips!!!

Please Don’t Eat the Chocolate Chips!!!

by Gina Valley

Dear Family,

I would appreciate it if you would not eat the chocolate chips.  I bought those to make cookies with. 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley  chocolate chips imaginary pets bathroom bunny rabbit

But, if you are going to eat the chocolate chips, I would appreciate it if you would not eat them in the bathroom because eating in the bathroom is disgusting.  

But, if you are going to eat the chocolate chips in the bathroom, I would appreciate it if you would not leave a little trail of them across the floor because it looks like bunny poop and causes me to waste my already taxed brain power attempting to figure out when we got a bunny and how did he know that was the bathroom.

As always, thank you for your cooperation.

Love,

mom

Laugh Out Loud!!!

-gina

Does your family eat in the bathroom?  Am I the only one this grosses out?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!