Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Back To School

Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Back To School …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Laugh along with this timely Gina’s Favorites post.

Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Your Kids To Go Back To School

The signs are everywhere.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Back To School ...Gina's FavoritesAnd, most of them have apples on them.

Your kids have already qualified for The Olympic I’m Not Touching You! Team, twice, and have now started a Who Can Make Mom Scream The Loudest? tournament.

Even though you made it a point to get them an extra size too big, your 5 year old has already out grown the shoes you bought for him last week.

And, whenever one of your children passes into your line of sight, you have a nearly overwhelming urge to holler, “We’re late!” and to rush him to the car.

You think it’s time. Here’re 10 signs to help you be sure.

Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Your Kids To Go Back To School

#10.  Your dog is hanging out with the couple in their 80’s two doors down every afternoon, just so he can take an uninterrupted nap.

#9.  The stores have started putting up their Christmas decorations.

#8.  You’ve locked yourself in the linen closet to try to get some alone time three times this week.

#7.  Your kids have brought so much sand home in their swimsuits from your weekly trips to the beach that the county hired an erosion control specialist to rebuild the shoreline.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Back To School ...Gina's Favorites#6.  Your cat tries to bury your kids whenever they’re in the yard.

#5.  Your children have hidden your calendar.

#4.  Your neighbors have threatened to file an injunction if you allow your children to set up just one more lemonade stand.

#3.  You’ve found the perfect “Welcome Back!” gift to make out of stuff you have around the house for your child’s teacher on Pinterest, and all you need is a paper towel tube, 4 rubber bands, and $96 worth of supplies from the craft store.

#2.  Your children have accidentally flushed swim goggles down the toilet, while attempting to see what a whirlpool looks like underwater, so many times that your plumber wrote them a thank you note.

#1.  A now 7-legged spider made a cobweb in the corner of your dining room that reads, “Isn’t it about time for them to go back to school?”

Yes. Yes, it is.

Take my kids. Please.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are there signs around your home that your children are ready to go back to school? What will you miss most when school starts? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing what you think.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Make The Teacher Hate You

Make The Teacher Hate You …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

School officially kicked off for my kids this week. If your schools haven’t started yet, I’m sure they will soon. .
Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post as you steel yourself to get your darlings, and yourself, into school mode.

How To Make The Teacher Hate You

Wondering how you can make an impression on your child’s teacher this year?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Make The Teacher Hate You ...Gina's FavoritesNo worries – I’ve got you covered!

Encourage your child to change his name every day. The teacher will appreciate this extra bit of creative effort.

Be sure to point out repeatedly your child has received high marks from every one of her previous teachers. Also, be sure to mention that several knowledgeable people have suggested your child could probably just skip this year’s grade, as she is so gifted.

Pack something leaky in your child’s lunch every day, preferably a sugary substance to maximize ant and roach attraction potential.

Make cookies or candy for your child’s teacher, and include a note mentioning how she “looks like someone who really likes dessert.”

Insist your child wear a new, expensive designer coat to school. Make sure you don’t label it with his name. Then, insist his teacher locate the coat when your child comes home without it, and can only remember he had it on somewhere near the basketball courts. Harass the teacher daily about this expensive wardrobe loss. Weeks later when you find the coat jammed behind your child’s headboard, don’t mention it to his teacher. You don’t want to embarrass your child.

When you send in snacks for the entire class feel free to ignore the Classmates Allergies List. Assume the teacher is skilled at Epi-Pen usage, and would welcome the opportunity to put her skills on display.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Make The Teacher Hate You ...Gina's FavoritesSend a note daily explaining how it’s the teacher’s fault your child was unable to complete his homework assignment. Again.

Make surprise, live animal donations to the classroom, such as snakes, tarantulas, and macaws. The kids will love them, and the jungle atmosphere it creates, along with the care and feeding of these critters, is sure to help your child’s teacher relax.

Point out every single tiny, insignificant grading error that is not in your child’s favor. Your child’s teacher will appreciate your efforts to help him raise his skill level.

Send in permanent markers with your child. Insist she is too talented and mature to be using those infantile, washable-type art supplies.

When your child uses the permanent markers to set up a face tattoo business at recess, her teacher will undoubtedly appreciate her initiative and will gladly explain to the other parents how vital your child’s entrepreneurship is to everyone’s growth and development.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Make The Teacher Hate You ...Gina's FavoritesDon’t bother your child’s teacher with concerns about happenings or polices in his/her classroom. Rather, take these directly to the school principal or even the district superintendent.

Send something smelly, liquid, or live for every Show & Tell time. Bonus points to you if it’s all three!

Be sure to let your child’s teacher know right away that your child is perfect, and that, if he is acting up, it’s just because he isn’t being challenged  by her teaching methods. It’s extra helpful if you bring in brochures for seminars your child’s teacher can attend to learn the proper way to teach a child gifted such as yours is.

Order a margarita machine for the classroom Christmas party.

Have your child panic when he loses his tooth at school and can’t locate it. Only after his teacher has searched for the AWOL bony appendage for a minimum of 45 minutes should your child check in his own mouth and realize he hadn’t lost the tooth at all. (Credit to Abe Yospe ‏@Cheeseboy22, who is an awesome teacher and a very funny guy)

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Make The Teacher Hate You ...Gina's FavoritesShow up at the end of the school day, as your child’s teacher is helping all of the children get ready to go home, and explain to him you’ll need all of the class lessons and homework for the following two weeks immediately, as you and your family are flying off to Aruba and have to be at the airport in less than an hour.

While you’re on the trip, don’t have your child complete any of the assignments, and be sure to lose at least one of the textbooks and to get water damage on the others.

Make it a memorable year!

Remember, No Teacher Left Behind!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do you have any favorites I should add?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

How To Make The Teacher Hate You …Gina’s Favorites

How To Make The Teacher Hate You …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

School officially kicked off for my kids this week. If your children’s schools haven’t started yet, I’m guessing they will soon. So, I figured my How To Make The Teacher Hate You post would be perfect for this week’s Throwback Day.

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

How To Make The Teacher Hate You

Wondering how you can make an impression on your child’s teacher this year?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley How To Make The Teacher Hate You ...Gina's Favorites Back To SchoolNo worries – I’ve got you covered!

Encourage your child to change his name every day.

Be sure to point out repeatedly your child has received high marks from every one of her previous teachers. Also, be sure to mention that several knowledgeable people have suggested your child could probably just skip this year’s grade, as she is so gifted.

Pack something leaky in your child’s lunch every day, preferably a sugary substance to maximize ant and roach attraction potential.

Make cookies or candy for your child’s teacher, and include a note mentioning how she “looks like someone who really likes dessert.”

Insist your child wear a new, expensive designer coat to school. Make sure you don’t label it with his name. Then, insist his teacher locate the coat when your child comes home without it and can only remember he had it on somewhere near the basketball courts. Harass the teacher daily about this expensive wardrobe loss. Weeks later when you find the coat jammed behind your child’s headboard, don’t mention it to his teacher. You don’t want to embarrass your child.

When you send in snacks for the entire class feel free to ignore the Classmates Allergies List. Assume the teacher is skilled at Epi-Pen usage, and would welcome the opportunity to put her skills on display.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley How To Make The Teacher Hate You ...Gina's Favorites Back To SchoolSend a note daily explaining how it’s the teacher’s fault your child was unable to complete his homework assignment. Again.

Make surprise, live animal donations to the classroom, such as snakes, tarantulas, and macaws. The kids will love them and the jungle atmosphere it creates, along with the care and feeding of these critters, is sure to help your child’s teacher relax.

Point out every single tiny, insignificant grading error that is not in your child’s favor. Your child’s teacher will appreciate your efforts to help him raise his skill level.

Send in permanent markers with your child. Insist she is too talented and mature to be using those infantile, washable-type art supplies.

When your child uses the permanent markers to set up a face tattoo business at recess, her teacher will undoubtedly appreciate her initiative and will gladly explain to the other parents how vital your child’s entrepreneurship is to everyone’s growth and development.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley How To Make The Teacher Hate You ...Gina's Favorites Back To SchoolDon’t bother your child’s teacher with concerns about happenings or polices in his/her classroom. Rather, take these directly to the school principal or even the district superintendent.

Send something smelly, liquid, or live for every Show & Tell time.  Bonus points to you if it’s all three!

Be sure to let your child’s teacher know right away that your child is perfect, and that, if he is acting up, it’s just because he isn’t being challenged  by her teaching methods. It’s extra helpful if you bring in brochures for seminars your child’s teacher can attend to learn the proper way to teach a child gifted such as yours is.

Order a margarita machine for the classroom Christmas party.

Have your child panic when he loses his tooth at school and can’t locate it. Only after his teacher has searched for the AWOL bony appendage for a minimum of 45 minutes should your child check in his own mouth and realize he hadn’t lost the tooth at all. (Credit to Abe Yospe ‏@Cheeseboy22, who is an awesome 1st grade teacher and a very funny guy)

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley How To Make The Teacher Hate You ...Gina's Favorites Back To SchoolShow up at the end of the school day, as your child’s teacher is helping all of the children get ready to go home, and explain to him you’ll need all of the class lessons and homework for the following two weeks immediately, as you and your family are flying off to Aruba and have to be at the airport in less than an hour.

While you’re on the trip, don’t have your child complete any of the assignments, and be sure to lose at least one of the textbooks and to get water damage on the others.

Make it a memorable year!

Remember, No Teacher Left Behind!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What else should I add to this list?  Shoot me a comment – I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Your Kids To Go Back To School

Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Your Kids To Go Back To School

by Gina Valley

The signs are everywhere. And, most of them have apples on them.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Your Kids To Go Back To School

Your kids have already qualified for The Olympic I’m Not Touching You! Team, twice, and have now started a Who Can Make Mom Scream The Loudest? tournament.

Even though you made it a point to get them an extra size too big, your 15 year old has already out grown the shoes you bought for him last week.

And, whenever one of your children passes into your line of sight, you have a nearly overwhelming urge to holler, “We’re late!” and to rush him to the car.

You think it’s time. Here’re 10 signs to help you be sure.

Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Your Kids To Go Back To School

#10.  Your dog is hanging out with the couple in their 80’s two doors down every afternoon, just so he can take an uninterrupted nap.

#9.  The stores have started putting up their Christmas decorations.

#8.  You’ve locked yourself in the linen closet to try to get some alone time three times this week.

#7.  Your kids have brought so much sand home in their swimsuits from your weekly trips to the beach that the county hired an erosion control specialist to rebuild the shoreline.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs It’s Time For Your Kids To Go Back To School#6.  Your cat tries to bury your kids whenever they’re in the yard.

#5.  Your children have hidden your calendar.

#4.  Your neighbors have threatened to file an injunction if you allow your children to set up just one more lemonade stand.

#3.  You’ve found the perfect “Welcome Back!” gift to make out of stuff you have around the house for your child’s teacher on Pinterest, and all you need is a paper towel tube, 4 rubber bands, and $96 worth of supplies from the craft store.

#2.  Your children have accidentally flushed swim goggles down the toilet, while attempting to see what a whirlpool looks like underwater, so many times that your plumber wrote them a thank you note.

#1.  A now 7-legged spider made a cobweb in the corner of your dining room that reads, “Isn’t it about time for them to go back to school?”

Yes. Yes, it is.

Take my kids. Please.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What are the signs around your home that your children are ready to head back to school? What will you miss most once school starts? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing what you think.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

School Is A 4 Letter Word!!!

School Is A 4 Letter Word!!!

by Gina Valley

I don’t want to hear it.

I’ve been making a valiant effort to avoid it. Yes, I’m in denial and I know that’s not healthy and I don’t care.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley School Is A 4 Letter Word!!!It’s the middle of summer. Stop saying “school.”

We’re in the middle of heat wave. Stop saying “school.”

It’s still July, for goodness sake. Stop saying “school.”

School can’t start. I don’t even have tan lines yet. We haven’t even gone on vacation yet. And, frankly, simultaneously shopping for bathing suits, school supplies, and winter boots is not my idea of a good time.

The far greater majority of our days are already dominated by school:

Getting to school.

Getting home from school.

Getting homework done.

Going back to school to get the book to get the homework done.

They say a school year is 180 days, but that doesn’t include the weekends, evenings, and holidays spent working on school projects and participating on school academic, artistic, and athletic teams.

It’s really closer to 432 days per year.

Even during the summer, we’re still deep in the school mix with summer reading lists and sports practices, not to mention calls, emails, and letters from our schools about overdue text books and upcoming orientations.

It’s nonstop.

But, couldn’t we, just for a little while, just for a couple months, go with the unhealthy and be in denial? Couldn’t we pretend that great wave of academia is not looming, every-present, waiting to crash down upon us? Couldn’t we just ignore the giant textbook-toting elephant in the living room and kitchen and newspaper in nearly everyone’s home for just a little while?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley School Is A 4 Letter Word!!!Is it really a break from school when we’re always surrounded by headlines, emails, ads, and tweets about school? Is it really a break from school when even the gift shop at Disneyland has a Back to School aisle?  Is it really a break from school when both the local teacher supply store and the liquor store are sporting “Stock up: School Starts Soon!” banners?

Yes, our kids need a break from the grip of academia, but we, their parents, need one even more.

Or, at least I know I do.

So, chill out, Target.

Relax, WalMart.

Take a break, Macy’s.

Call back later, Verizon.

Sign off Yahoo, Google, and Amazon.

No, I don’t want to save 70% on school supplies this week. No, I don’t want to buy one book bag, get one half off today. No, I don’t want to read about the top 10 ways to fight summer brain drain right this second. No, I don’t want to get the latest 4G devices to give my kids an electronic, educational edge this month.

What I want is for this summer break to last another couple years, or at least to have the time off we have left to be free from the mention of school.

I want to look at the giant pile of wet swimsuits and dripping beach towels, and to not think about the giant pile of school clothes soon to replace it.

I want to forget to make dinner until 9:30pm, without thinking it’s really about time to get everyone on a decent sleep schedule, so they can get out of bed in the mornings for school.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley School Is A 4 Letter Word!!!

I want to think about sand and sunshine and caterpillars, not pens and notebooks and carpool schedules.

I want my kids to be looking for water balloons and beach towels and marshmallows, not PE clothes and math books and backpacks.

And, the only thing I’d like to see in an ad is a new beach chair, preferably at half-off.

Because ever since my youngest son “borrowed” a “few” parts from my beach chair to make a catapult, it’s been reduced to a piece of brightly colored fabric with a few aluminum rods across it. It’s really just a bumpy beach rug now.

Of course, no one sells beach chairs in July, especially in the middle of a heat wave.

I’ll have to wait to buy one until the traditional beach chair selling season.

In the middle of December.

Right after the first big snowfall.

And the week before ads for the big Get Ready For Summer!!! campaign start.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Does summer seem to get shorter every year to you, too? Are you looking forward to school starting, or are you dreading it? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing what you think.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Top 10 Back To School Super Powers

Top 10 Back To School Super Powers

by Gina Valley  

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Back To School Super Powers Back To School

Faster than a ringing tardy bell.

More powerful than a tub of yogurt left in a backpack last June.

Able to blurt out 7×8 is 56 (remember 5,6,7,8).

It’s a caffeine-aholic. It’s a Zombie.  No! It’s a Super Powered Parent.

If your kids have headed back to school, you’ll be one, too.  Here’s ten of the many Super Powers you’ll develop as a result of that school bell ringing.

Top 10 Back To School Super Powers

#10.  Super Speaking Utter never-before-heard curses daily while attempting to navigate the school parking lot.

#9.  Super Time Dissolving – Watch even your very hope of free time disappear, while assisting your children with classwork they didn’t finish at school, because they were too busy talking to the kid sitting next to them or sleeping on their desk because they were up all night playing Clash of Clans on their iPod.

#8.  Super Gaming – Hone your skills at Mom (or Dad), Who Took My…? every morning.  You’ll be a master of every version of the game, including Mom, Who Took My Shoes?, Mom, Who Took My Backpack?, Mom, Who Took My Lunch?, Mom, Who Took My Retainer?, and the special private parents-only version of the game Who Took My Mind? I’ve Lost It Again!

#7.  Super Creating- Materialize a Paul Revere Costume, a birthday gift for the teacher, or 6 dozen cupcakes with less than an hour’s notice.

#6.  Super Tooting – Hone your car-horn technique, so even your neighbors hear it clearly speak, “Hurry up! We’re late!” when you ever so delicately blast it from the driveway, in a futile attempt to rush a teenage daughter, who is changing her outfit.  Again.  For the 13th time.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Back To School Super Powers Back To School

#5.  Super Signing – Perfect your autograph by signing 56,000 forms for each kid during the first week of school, after carefully filling them out and making corrections where necessary.  As a bonus, you’ll finally memorize your own cell phone number after writing it on every one of those forms, in the kids’ backpacks, and on your youngest son’s forehead.

#4.  Super Scaling – Conquer mountains of laundry so tall they’re thought only to be the stuff of legends. After all, when school is in session, if they have even thought about trying something on, kids think it needs to go through the laundry again.

#3.  Super Speed – Drop your mile time by running through the morning circuit training of dashing from room to room, re-waking up the kids you’ve already woke up twice.

#2.  Super Mind Reading – Practice your clairvoyance as your daughter assumes you know she wants to wear her 5 Seconds of Summer t-shirt on Wednesday to match Lindsey, your son assumes you know his pockets have snails in them, and they all assume you know what those papers the teacher sent home with them said, even though they never gave them to you.

#1.  Super Cloning – Bring snacks to a soccer game, measure kids for their drama costumes, and pick up kids from hip hop lessons at exactly the same time, in locations that are at least 20 miles apart.

I’d love to see Superman or Wonder Woman try this gig.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are you breaking out your Super Hero cape as your children head back to school? Which Super Power do you use most?  Shoot me a comment! I’m looking forward to hearing all of the details.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Make The Teacher Hate You …Gina’s Favorites

Make The Teacher Hate You …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

My kids start back to school this week. If your kids’ schools haven’t started yet, I’m guessing they will soon. So, I figured my How To Make The Teacher Hate You would be perfect for this week’s Throwback Day.

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

How To Make The Teacher Hate You

Wondering how you can make an impression on your child’s teacher this year?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Make The Teacher Hate You

No worries – I’ve got you covered!

Encourage your child to change his name every day.

Be sure to point out repeatedly that your child has received high marks from every one of her previous teachers.  Also, be sure to mention that several knowledgeable people have suggested that your child could probably just skip this year’s grade, as she is so gifted.

Pack something leaky in your child’s lunch every day, preferably a sugary substance to maximize ant and roach attraction potential.

Make cookies or candy for your child’s teacher, and include a note mentioning how she “looks like someone who really likes dessert.”

Insist your child wear a new, expensive designer coat to school.  Make sure you don’t label it with his name.  Then, insist his teacher locate the coat when your child comes home without it and can only remember he had it on somewhere near the basketball courts. Harass the teacher daily about this expensive wardrobe loss.  Weeks later when you find the coat jammed behind your child’s headboard, don’t mention it to his teacher.  You don’t want to embarrass your child.

When you send in snacks for the entire class feel free to ignore the Classmates Allergies List. Assume the teacher is skilled at Epi-Pen usage, and would welcome the opportunity to put her skills on display.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Make The Teacher Hate You

Send a note daily explaining how it’s the teacher’s fault that your child was unable to complete his homework assignment.  Again.

Make surprise, live animal donations to the classroom, such as snakes, tarantulas, and macaws.  The kids will love them and the jungle atmosphere it creates, along with the care and feeding of these critters, is sure to help your child’s teacher relax.

Point out every single tiny insignificant grading error that is not in your child’s favor.  Your child’s teacher will appreciate your efforts to help him raise his skill level.

Send in permanent markers with your child.  Insist that she is too talented and mature to be using those infantile, washable-type art supplies.

When your child uses the permanent markers to set up a face tattoo business at recess, her teacher will undoubtedly appreciate her initiative and will gladly explain to the other parents how vital your child’s entrepreneurship is to everyone’s growth and development.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Make The Teacher Hate You

Don’t bother your child’s teacher with concerns about happenings or polices in his/her classroom.  Rather, take these directly to the school principal or even the district superintendent.

Send something smelly, liquid, or live for every Show & Tell time.  Bonus points to you if it’s all three!

Be sure to let your child’s teacher know right away that your child is perfect, and that, if he is acting up, it’s just because he isn’t being challenged  by her teaching methods.  It’s extra helpful if you bring in brochures for seminars your child’s teacher can attend to learn the proper way to teach a child gifted such as yours is.

Order a margarita machine for the classroom Christmas party.

Have your child panic when he loses his tooth at school and can’t locate it. Only after his teacher has searched for the AWOL bony appendage for a minimum of 45 minutes should your child check in his own mouth and realize that he hadn’t lost the tooth at all. (Credit to Abe ‏@Cheeseboy22, who is a great 1st grade teacher and a very funny guy)

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Make The Teacher Hate YouShow up at the end of the school day, as your child’s teacher is helping all of the children get ready to go home, and explain to him you’ll need all of the class lessons and homework for the following two weeks immediately, as you and your family are flying off to Aruba and have to be at the airport in less than an hour.

While you are on the trip, don’t have your child complete any of the assignments, and be sure to lose at least one of the textbooks and to get water damage on the others.

Make it a memorable year!

Remember, No Teacher Left Behind!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What else should I add to this list?  Shoot me a comment – I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

It’s Coming

It’s Coming

by Gina Valley

It’s coming.

There’s nothing we can do to stop it.

The signs were noticeable months ago.

Especially at the Big Blue store and the Big Red store.

They had signs heralding their Back to School displays the afternoon that school got out for the summer in June.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It’s Coming Back To School Now, much as I’m in denial about it, it’s here.

The school year has arrived.

This week my kids have had meetings and orientations.  I’m glad, because I don’t want them to be disoriented. Especially since 4 of mine are attending new schools this year.

Monday morning regular classes begin at 8:00AM.

That means Monday at 8:30AM I’ll be racing back to schools with all of the forgotten lunches, backpacks, and PE clothes.

So, I figured this week my Sort Of Great Things About The Kids Going Back To School  post would be perfect for Throwback Day.  You can read my Sort Of Great Things About The Kids Going Back To School  post below in its entirety, or, for you hardcore readers, you can click on one of these magic links to read my Sort Of Great Things About The Kids Going Back To School  post in its original location.

Either way, I’ll meet you at Sort Of Great Things About The Kids Going Back To School .  You bring the backpacks.  I’ll bring the P.E. clothes.

Sort Of Great Things About The Kids Going Back To School   

It’s that time of the year again.  Time to find the backpacks and to remember how much 6×7 is (42 – in case you forgot).  It’s Back-to-School this week for my school-ies.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It’s Coming Back To School I know most parents are thrilled to have their kids back in school each fall, but I really prefer mine to be at home.  I could do without the whole school “thing.”

Nonetheless, there are some things that I can only accomplish while my kids are attending school.

I can finish work on my linguistics doctoral thesis in new word development, as never before uttered curses spring forth from my mouth daily as I attempt to navigate the middle school parking lot.

I will finally have something to do in my free time as I assist kids with classwork that they didn’t finish at school because they were too busy talking to the kid sitting next to them or sleeping on their desk because they were up all night playing Angry Birds on their iPod.

I will get to play Mom, who took my…? every morning.  I’m looking forward to playing all of the versions of the game, including Mom, Who Took My Shoes?, Mom, Who Took My Backpack?, Mom, Who Took My Lunch?, Mom, Who Took My Retainer?, and my own private version of the game Who Took My Mind? I’ve Lost It Again!

I will get to hone my car-horn technique, so that even the neighbors clearly hear it speak, “Hurry up! We’re late!” when I ever so delicately blast it from the driveway in a futile attempt to rush a teenage daughter who is changing her outfit.  Again.  For the 13th time.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley It’s Coming Back To School

I can perfect my autograph by signing 56,000 forms for each kid during the first week of school, after carefully filling them out and making corrections where necessary.  Hopefully, I will also memorize my cell phone number after writing it on every one of those forms, in the kids’ backpacks, and on my youngest son’s forehead.

I can finally get in shape by runnin through my morning circuit training of dashing from room to room, re-waking up the kids that I already woke up twice.

I can further develop my cloning research as I attempt to bring snacks to a soccer game, measure kids for their La Crosse uniforms, and pick up kids from hip hop lessons at exactly the same time, in locations that are at least 20 miles apart.

I’m a lifelong learner.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What are you learning now that school’s back in session?  Shoot me a comment! I’m looking forward to hearing all of the details.

 

How To Make The Teacher Hate You

How To Make The Teacher Hate You

by Gina Valley

Wondering how you can make an impression on your child’s teacher this year?

No worries – I’ve got you covered!Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Complain Cookies Leak Candy Homework Margaritas Aruba

Encourage your child to change his name every day.

Be sure to point out repeatedly that your child has received high marks from every one of her previous teachers.  Also, be sure to mention that several knowledgeable people have suggested that your child could probably just skip this year’s grade, as she is so gifted.

Pack something leaky in your child’s lunch every day, preferably a sugary substance to maximize ant and roach attraction potential.

Make cookies or candy for your child’s teacher, and include a note mentioning how she “looks like someone who really likes dessert.”

Insist your child wear a new, expensive designer coat to school.  Make sure you don’t label it with his name.  Then, insist his teacher locate the coat when your child comes home without it and can only remember he had it on somewhere near the basketball courts. Harass the teacher daily about this expensive wardrobe loss.  Weeks later when you find the coat jammed behind your child’s headboard, don’t mention it to his teacher.  You don’t want to embarrass your child.

Send a note daily explaining how it’s the teacher’s fault that your child was unable to complete his homework assignment.  Again.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Complain Cookies Leak Candy Homework Margaritas ArubaMake surprise, live animal donations to the classroom, such as snakes, tarantulas, and macaws.  The kids will love them and the jungle atmosphere it creates, along with the care and feeding of these critters, is sure to help your child’s teacher relax.

Point out every single tiny insignificant grading error that is not in your child’s favor.  Your child’s teacher will appreciate your efforts to help him raise his skill level.

Send in permanent markers with your child.  Insist that she is too talented and mature to be using those infantile, washable-type art supplies.

When your child uses the permanent markers to set up a face tattoo business at recess, her teacher will undoubtedly appreciate her initiative and will gladly explain to the other parents how vital your child’s entrepreneurship is to everyone’s growth and development.

Don’t bother your child’s teacher with concerns about happenings or polices in his/her classroom.  Rather, take these directly to the school principal or even the district superintendent.

Send something smelly, liquid, or liveHumor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Complain Cookies Leak Candy Homework Margaritas Aruba for every Show & Tell time.  Bonus points to you if it’s all three!

Be sure to let your child’s teacher know right away that your child is perfect, and that, if he is acting up, it’s just because he isn’t being challenged  by her teaching methods.  It’s extra helpful if you bring in brochures for seminars your child’s teacher can attend to learn the proper way to teach a child gifted such as yours is.

Order a margarita machine for the classroom Christmas party.

(This is a new one to me.  Credit to Abe ‏@Cheeseboy22 who is a great 1st grade teacher and a very funny guy) Have your child panic when he loses his tooth at school and can’t locate it. Only after his teacher has searched for the AWOL bony appendage for a minimum of 45 minutes should your child check in his own mouth and realize that he hadn’t lost the tooth at all.

Show up at the end of the school day, as your child’s teacher is helping all of the children to get ready to go home, Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Complain Cookies Leak Candy Homework Margaritas Arubaand explain to him that you will need all of the class lessons and homework for the following two weeks immediately, as you and your family are flying off to Aruba and have to be at the airport in less than an hour.

While you are on the trip, don’t have your child complete any of the assignments, and be sure to lose at least one of the textbooks and to get water damage on the others.

Make it a memorable year!

Remember, No Teacher Left Behind!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What else should I add to this list?  Shoot me a comment – I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Sort Of Great Things About The Kids Going Back To School

Sort Of Great Things About The Kids Going Back To School   

by Gina Valley  

It’s that time of the year again.  Time to find the backpacks and to remember how much 6×7 is (42 – in case you forgot).  It’s Back-to-School this week for my school-ies.

I know most parents are thrilled to have their kids back in school each fall, but I really prefer mine to be at home.  I could do without the whole school “thing.”

Nonetheless, there are some things that I can only accomplish while my kids are attending school.

I can finish work on my linguistics doctoral thesis in new word development, as never before uttered curses spring forth from my mouth daily as I attempt to navigate the middle school parking lot.

I will finally have something to do in my free time as I assist kids with classwork that they didn’t finish at school because they were too busy talking to the kid sitting next to them or sleeping on their desk because they were up all night playing Angry Birds on their iPod.

I will get to play Mom, who took my…? every morning.  I’m looking forward to playing all of the versions of the game, including Mom, Who Took My Shoes?, Mom, Who Took My Backpack?, Mom, Who Took My Lunch?, Mom, Who Took My Retainer?, and my own private version of the game Who Took My Mind? I’ve Lost It Again!

I will get to hone my car-horn technique, so that even the neighbors clearly hear it speak, “Hurry up! We’re late!” when I ever so delicately blast it from the driveway in a futile attempt to rush a teenage daughter who is changing her outfit.  Again.  For the 13th time.

I can perfect my autograph by signing 56,000 forms for each kid during the first week of school, after carefully filling them out and making corrections where necessary.  Hopefully, I will also memorize my cell phone number after writing it on every one of those forms, in the kids’ backpacks, and on my youngest son’s forehead.

I can finally get in shape by running through my morning circuit training of dashing from room to room, re-waking up the kids that I already woke up twice.

I can further develop my cloning research as I attempt to bring snacks to a soccer game, measure kids for their La Crosse uniforms, and pick up kids from hip hop lessons at exactly the same time, in locations that are at least 20 miles apart.

I’m a lifelong learner.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What are you learning now that school’s back in session?  Shoot me a comment! I’m looking forward to hearing all of the details.