gina valley

The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom

gina valley - The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom

Synchronized Complaining – The Newest Olympic Sport

Synchronized Complaining – The Newest Olympic Sport

by Gina Valley

Like most adults, and every parent, I wish I had chosen paper plates for my wedding china pattern.  Anything to avoid the post dinner rush for excuses to dodge dinner dish-duty.

The miraculous shift on the part of my off-spring from happy diners to disgruntled juveniles is nearly instantaneous at the announcement that it isHumor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Synchronized Sport Demonstration Olympic Complaining Dinner Dishes Washing Cleaning Avoiding Chores Team Cookies “time to clean up dinner.”  It’s almost like a synchronized complaining team (I’m pretty sure that Synchronized Complaining is a demonstration sport this year at the Olympics.  It’s widely assumed that the International Olympic Committee will recognize its world-wide appeal and enormous contestant pool and make it an official sport for the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil).

Upon arrival of the dish bewitching hour a surprisingly consistent variety of mystery ailments arise and afflict the children in my home:

Son#1 must suddenly lie down as he is instantly taken ill or develops a sudden back problem and can no longer stand.

Son#2 must retire to the facilities immediately as his having ingested everything possible, short of the table top itself, has suddenly required off-loading.

Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Synchronized Sport Demonstration Olympic Complaining Dinner Dishes Washing Cleaning Avoiding Chores Team CookiesDaughter#1 must also visit the facilities (thankfully we have multiple facilities!) as she did in fact consume the suggested 8 glasses of water today, but unfortunately did so entirely at dinner.

Daughter#2 slips into a fit of rage and begins a long-winded seemingly unending rant because “No one else is helping!”

Daughter#3 silently disappears until she has heard the clink of the last fork being loaded into the dishwasher.

Son#3 will remain in his seat at the dinner table and continue to eat until all dishes are done, bath time is over, and everyone is in bed.

Son#4 lies on the floor and yells and screams about always having to do everything until there is nothing left to do.

Niece#1 can’t help with the dishes until sheHumor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Sons Daughters Brothers Sisters Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Synchronized Sport Demonstration Olympic Complaining Dinner Dishes Washing Cleaning Avoiding Chores Team Cookies understands why.  Why do we have to clear our place? Why do we have to wash the dishes?  Why does Auntie G have a headache?

Niece#2 does not want anyone to touch her plate or her glass or her fork.   She insists on loading it into the dishwasher herself, while chanting the standard 2-year-old mantra, “Mine, mine, mine!”  And, by dishwasher she means the cupboard with the cookies.  The cookies are also “Mine, mine, mine!”

I wonder if they sell paper pots and pans.

And, do we really need dinner every night?

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Is your team practicing for the Olympics?   Shoot me a comment – I’m looking forward to hearing all about it!

Category: Cleaning