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Pumpkin Should Be A 4 Letter Word

Pumpkin Should Be A 4 Letter Word

by Gina Valley

I know its fall, but why am I being punished?

Isn’t it enough that it’s sweater-weather in the morning, and then it warms up to die-if-you’re-wearing-a-sweater-weather in the afternoon?

Or, how about the fact that now, thanks to the fall leaves taking a dive, even outside needs vacuuming?  Like I needed something else to clean.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Pumpkin Should Be A 4 Letter WordThe homework avalanche is already threatening to swallow my children, even though school has just begun.

My neighbor has a new diesel mulcher he fires up each morning in the pre-dawn hours.

And, someone already ate all the candy I bought for Halloween, so I’m going to have to buy it again.  For the 3rd time.

Why, in addition to that, am I being forced to endure Hyperpumpkinization?

I don’t want pumpkin scented toilet paper or fabric softener or WD40.

I don’t want pumpkin shaped notebook paper, Scantrons, or world globes.

I don’t want pumpkins pictures on my nicotine patch , my parking ticket, or my contact lenses.

I don’t want pumpkin flavored hamburgers or cola or cough medicine.

My green tea already tastes like seaweed; don’t offer me a dollop of pumpkin-infused-whipped cream to push it over the top toward barf-inducing.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Pumpkin Should Be A 4 Letter WordIt is not Having It My Way when you offer me pumpkin slices on my Whopper Junior at Burger King.

And, does anyone really want pumpkin flakes added to their chocolate shake?  Isn’t that blasphemy or something?  Check Exodus.  I think it’s one of the commandments.

There’s even pumpkin flavored puppy chow.

For the love of all that’s not squash -related, make it stop!

We don’t do this with spring, except if you count Shamrock shakes, and I don’t think those really count.

We don’t do it with winter.  Have you been asked, “Would you like your latte flavored with our seasonal Snowflake & Pine needle blend?”

We don’t do it with summer.  No one offers you Beach Flavored Ice Cream with a sprinkling of freshly ground sand on top.

So, what the heck is the deal with the pumpkins?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Pumpkin Should Be A 4 Letter WordIs there some sort of Pumpkin Mafia behind this?

Is there an Illumipumpkinati at work?

Did someone spread fairy pumpkin dust all around that turned every area of life into another pumpkin showcase moment?

Stop the madness!

I’m getting stabby.

My fork is poised.

I swear if the guy at window #2 asks if I want pumpkin dipping sauce for my kids’ pumpkin-shaped chicken nuggets, someone’s getting stabbed.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are you pro-pumpkin?  Do you pumpkin-up your latte or value meal?  Or, are you in the “leave non-pumpkin stuff, non-pumpkin” camp?   Have you started putting up Christmas decorations to distract yourself from over-pumpkinization?   Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

10 Responses
  • karin@yumandmore
    September 25, 2013

    only in food!

    • gina valley
      September 27, 2013

      You are more patient with it than I am, Karin! ;o)

  • Taylor
    September 26, 2013

    LOL I feel your pain. The Pumpkin craze really does get tiresome! 🙂

    • gina valley
      September 27, 2013

      Isn’t it funny? I guess a lot of people will buy anything pumpkin-tized this time of year. Personally, I prefer chocolate. It’s still a fall color, and it goes with almost anything.

  • Courtney~Mommy LaDy Club
    September 26, 2013

    I only like pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving with “real” whipped heavy cream. Our trick or treaters have really died out, so I will just plug in the little plastic guy at the front door this year…yay, no pumpkin carving!

    • gina valley
      September 27, 2013

      I don’t mind the carving so much as the mushy, fuzzy mess the poor thing turns into after a couple days. No one wants to even pick it up to carry it to the garbage!

      My pack loves pumpkin pie with real whipped cream, too. I think almost anything is good with that on it!

  • Raine
    September 26, 2013

    I love pumpkin everything! Even in my beer – and I usually don’t like fruit (or vegetables) messing up my beer!

    • gina valley
      September 27, 2013

      I think we can still be friends, despite our opposite stands on the pumpkin infiltration. Haven’t tried pumpkin beer, myself. Not sounding good to me, but I have some friends who love it.

  • Lexie Lane
    September 30, 2013

    Gina, I always know i’ll have something to laugh about when I get here. You’re so funny. But you’re so right too. It does get to be too much, but then it disappears for the next year and it gets a bit sad 🙁 for me at least.

  • Lolo
    October 2, 2013

    You are right, no pumpkin flavored anything for me please…. Although I´ve been learning to carve them about two years ago and I find it relaxing, jejeje
    See you around,
    Kisses
    Lolo