Recently a friend of mine and I were discussing our differences in, shall we say, “vocabulary selection.” I tend to use little “pepper” in my day-to-day conversation, whereas he, as he quite freely pointed out, tends to have what he referred to as a “potty mouth.” Well, actually, he used a more specific adjective, but you get the idea.
I did not rise before my children Thursday morning, which is normally my plan of attack. I overslept until 6:30AM, when I was awoken by my youngest, to find that I was surrounded by six of my young pack members. They, then, proceeded to hurl the following questions at me in the following order in rapid fire fashion:
What would happen if you were surrounded by a metal shield and lightening hit it?
Here’s the thing, driver of the shiny, new, silver Range Rover. I’m a patient person. Well, actually I’m not a patient person, but even if I was it wouldn’t have helped you today. Because, the thing is, people have limits.
Getting cut off and nearly plowed over by you in the junior high school parking lot would have used up all of my patience, had I packed any today.
I hate to heap more burden into your clearly, overloaded lives, but is there a chance that you all could attend the “How to Tell If the Refrigerator Door is Open” seminar I will be leading in the kitchen this evening?
Did you know that if you’re squeezing the toothpaste tube and there is, unbeknownst to you, an air bubble in the toothpaste tube that the air bubble will exit in a most violent fashion, rudely shoving the toothpaste in front of it out of the
way in an explosive nature, causing the toothpaste to immediately take flight, and to continue in flight until such time as the toothpaste is confronted with an immovable object,
I guess if I was a better mom I would have known my kids had Monday off before Sunday afternoon. And, I suppose on some level I did know. Unfortunately, it wasn’t on the “put it on the calendar and plan for it” kind of level. Nor, was it on the “reschedule meetings and finish columns ahead of time” level.
Thinking back on the blur that was this past week,
Two diametrically opposed near-cataclysmic universal forces have collided in my family room. They are locked in a heated battle for control. As I hold the assembled Halo Mega Block (think Lego type building sets) UNSC Rocket-hog in one hand and the Anti-Aircraft Gun in my other, I can’t help but notice the unapplied decals and several handfuls of unused bricks still in the box.