I appreciate the fact that one of you was conscientious enough to toss the rotten mayonnaise into the kitchen trashcan.
In the past I have found that you tend to allow rotten things to continue to ferment buried on the counter, hidden in the cupboard, or lost deep in the fridge until they are either able to speak or run about unaided.
Isn’t it funny how the little things are really the big things?
We all have our silly little things that make us happy. We all wish we’d won that giant national lottery this week, but we’d be pretty thrilled to find $20 in our jeans pocket while we’re doing the laundry. Personally, I’d be even more thrilled to find someone else haddone the laundry.
Recently a friend of mine and I were discussing our differences in, shall we say, “vocabulary selection.” I tend to use little “pepper” in my day-to-day conversation, whereas he, as he quite freely pointed out, tends to have what he referred to as a “potty mouth.” Well, actually, he used a more specific adjective, but you get the idea.
I did not rise before my children Thursday morning, which is normally my plan of attack. I overslept until 6:30AM, when I was awoken by my youngest, to find that I was surrounded by six of my young pack members. They, then, proceeded to hurl the following questions at me in the following order in rapid fire fashion:
What would happen if you were surrounded by a metal shield and lightening hit it?
Here’s the thing, driver of the shiny, new, silver Range Rover. I’m a patient person. Well, actually I’m not a patient person, but even if I was it wouldn’t have helped you today. Because, the thing is, people have limits.
Getting cut off and nearly plowed over by you in the junior high school parking lot would have used up all of my patience, had I packed any today.
I hate to heap more burden into your clearly, overloaded lives, but is there a chance that you all could attend the “How to Tell If the Refrigerator Door is Open” seminar I will be leading in the kitchen this evening?
Did you know that if you’re squeezing the toothpaste tube and there is, unbeknownst to you, an air bubble in the toothpaste tube that the air bubble will exit in a most violent fashion, rudely shoving the toothpaste in front of it out of the
way in an explosive nature, causing the toothpaste to immediately take flight, and to continue in flight until such time as the toothpaste is confronted with an immovable object,