No Sleep For The Parenty
by Gina Valley
I awoke this morning, as I often do, to one of my children breathing on my face and asking if I was awake. It’s a particularly odd sensation that only parents truly understand.
It’s not scary, like the time Daughter#2 was at the foot of our bed about to wake me up to get some bad dream intervention when she sneezed. Her sneeze woke me quickly and frighteningly, causing me to let out a shriek. This, naturally, scared Daughter#2 who then burst into tears.
Somehow The Professor managed to sleep through that whole circus, as he often does, right up until the point where I could not hold my laughter in as I attempted to comfort Daughter#2, who then yelled, “Don’t laugh at me!” This caused me to shake as I attempted to keep my giggles internal, which in turn shook our bed and woke The Professor.
But, this morning it wasn’t startling. It was just my youngest, standing next to me with his face so close to mine that I could feel his breath. I was thankful he had taken time to use the new blue mouth wash I put in the kids’ bathroom.
He wanted to know if I was going to stay asleep, because of my mouth hurting, or should he wake me up, so I can wakeup Son#3, so they can be early to school, so they can get a better handball court.
I got up because I knew, that in the long run, that was the most restful option. My kids take their handball seriously. There was no way that issue was going to resolve itself peacefully without a mommy intervention.
In light of my morning wake-up call I thought my Early Morning Ambush post would be the perfect one for Throwback Day this week.
You can read my Early Morning Ambush post below in its entirety, or, for you hardcore readers, you can click on one of these magic links and travel to the original post. Totally your call. All part of March Madness. Sort of.
Either way, I’ll meet you at Early Morning Ambush. You bring the chocolate and I’ll bring the giggles.
Early Morning Ambush
I did not rise before my children Thursday morning, which is normally my plan of attack. I overslept until 6:30AM, when I was awoken by my youngest, to find that I was surrounded by six of my young pack members. They, then, proceeded to hurl the following questions at me in the following order in rapid fire fashion:
What would happen if you were surrounded by a metal shield and lightening hit it?
Can I eat the taquitos or are those for dinner?
Mom, will you smell this?
I know I’ve been rude and snotty all week, and I’m grounded, but is it ok if I go to McDonald’s with my friends before school?
I’m in a bad mood, will you stop being funny?
The speed, subject matter, and seriousness caused me to giggle a bit as the queries were quickly put forth, a reaction a couple of my kids did not appreciate, as they apparently had a rather foul disposition at that early hour.
The Professor, who had semi-awoken in the midst of this onslaught and was staring at the progeny surrounding our bed in what, I can only assume, was an attempt to determine whether he was awake or in the midst of a parenting nightmare, crashed back onto his pillow, pulled the covers over his head, and mumbled something about, “Why the bloody ‘ell did we teach them to talk?”
This caused me to giggle more, an action not at all appreciated by “I’m in a bad mood.”
I got my giggling under control and woke up my brain. I answered the questions as listed below. It was a good reminder that you never know when that college education is going to come in handy.
It was also a good reminder that we need to get the lock on our bedroom door fixed. Soon.
Laugh Out Loud!
[Answer key (answers listed in the order of the questions above):
What would happen if you were surrounded by a metal shield and lightening hit it? It depends on the size of the shield, the conductivity of the metal, and your proximity to it. Effects would be somewhere from hearing loss to death. Please do not stand in the next thunderstorm with a metal shield to test this out.
Will lava melt a diamond? Lava near the service of the earth does not have enough pressure to melt a diamond, but a diamond will burn at the temperature surface lava produces, provided there is oxygen present. But, that seems like a waste of a perfectly good diamond.
Can I eat the taquitos or are those for dinner? Yes, eat the taquitos, as long as you don’t mind having Cheerios for dinner.
Mom, will you smell this? No, I will not. If you have to ask, it’s dirty.
I know I’ve been rude and snotty all week, and I’m grounded, but is it ok if I go to McDonald’s with my friends before school? Are you just trying to make me laugh? Not a chance, darlin’. Not even if you smell that thing for your brother.
I’m in a bad mood, will you stop being funny? Hahahahaha! Now you’re being funny!]
How have you been woken up before you were ready to get up recently? Any littles or furry family members breathing on you? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.