Life As The Designated Sniffer

Life As The Designated Sniffer

by Gina Valley

Parenting is a funny thing.

Maybe you’ve noticed.

No matter how prepared you think you are, you are not prepared.

I never thought I was prepared, and I wasn’t.  Not by a long shot.

It’s definitely been a learn-as-I-go kind of process.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Life As The Designated Sniffer Sniffing Smelling

There are many facets of parenting I never imagined, much less prepared for.

Goo on the shoulder of every suit I own.

My favorite artwork drawn on a Post It by my 7 year old.

Never sleeping through the night.  Ever.  Ever.  Again.

But, there is one particular aspect of being a mom that I never even imagined I’d, if not embrace, at least have thrust upon me:

Living life as The Designated Sniffer.

I don’t remember signing up to be The Designated Sniffer.   Clearly, I must have, because I am, but I don’t remember initialing twice and signing on the dotted line.

Why do I have to smell things?  My degree is in applied math, not sniffology.  Why am I the designated sniffer?

Sure it started off simply enough after we were married.  I’d be called into service to determine the relative freshness of everything from milk to bread to t-shirts.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Life As The Designated Sniffer Sniffing SmellingWhen our children started showing up, I naturally began to add to my Designated Sniffer duties without thinking, sniffing formula, food, and tiny hinnies for any offensive signals.

My role as Designated Sniffer grew by leaps and bounds as my children grew.  Somehow each came to view me as the Nose That Knows, and brought every olfactory mystery and malady to my snoz for investigation and analysis.

I always assumed that my children would develop not only the skills but also the desire to do their own scent analysis as they learned to do other things for themselves.  As my children have grown, though, rather than decreasing, my role as The Designated Sniffer has continued to expand.

Son#3 just walked up to me, said, “smell my breath,” and breathed out in my face before I could even answer.  Thankfully he had just thoroughly brushed his teeth with a new brand of toothpaste that he wanted me to smell.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Life As The Designated Sniffer Sniffing SmellingLast week one of my pack did the same thing in order to share with me the wealth of her onion breath left over from the salad she’d had at school for lunch.  It was a special, bonding moment.

Son#4 came up to me yesterday and said, “Smell me.”  I said, “Uhhh. Why?”  He answered, “Just ‘cause.”

Just ‘cause? I don’t think so.

Why are people always asking me to smell them?

Upon returning home from running errands to multiple stores with her dad, The Professor, Daughter#3 came up to me and said, “I smell like all kinds of things.  Smell me.”

Ummm.

No.

I’m sure she meant she smelled like a bunch of different lotion samples and the like, but I wasn’t feeling brave enough to take any chances.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Life As The Designated Sniffer Sniffing Smelling

Son#2, a teenager, asked me to smell the gallon of milk before he poured it over his cereal every morning last week.  Like milk lasts long enough at our house to go bad!  It doesn’t even last long enough to get warm if we just left it on the counter.

And, today, Son#1, who is technically an adult and legally allowed to serve as his own Designated Sniffer, opened a mystery tub from our refrigerator, then uttered those words I so often hear before some goo covered thing is shoved under my nose:

“Eeeeww. This smells terrible.  Smell it.”

And, I did.

It’s so nice to have a purpose in the grand scheme of life.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Here’s a few more of my many giggle filled parenting posts.  Click on over to them for more laughs.  As always, the extra click counts as cardio!

Everyday I’m Parentin’

Did We Put The Kids In The Carry-On?

No Sleep For The Parenty

Who is the designated sniffer in your neck of the woods?  Any mystery tubs lurking in your fridge?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Marjorie McAtee

Why do we always smell things when we know they’re going to smell terrible? And then we’re like ‘OH GOD IN HEAVEN WHY DID I SMELL THAT TERRIBLE THING WHY????’

gina valley

That is so true, Marjorie!!! And, why when we smell or taste something terrible do we feel the need to get other people to experience it, too? “This tastes horrible! Here, try it.” Lol! :o)

Roshni

The most vivid memories I have in this respect is smelling the diaper to make sure that I really needed to change it! Sometimes, I don’t recognize me any more!!

gina valley

Isn’t it amazing how we parents do that without even thinking, Roshni? I understand not recognizing yourself. I never thought I would grow up to be sniffing my kids diapers! :o)