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Just Called To Say I Hate You

So, my neighbor come over and tells us, and by us I mean the Professor as I wasn’t home at the time, (because God was sparing the life of my neighbor that day) that the windows of one of their cars had been shot out by a pellet gun.  Normal, neighborly information, right?  Something bad happened.  Want to make sure you are aware so you can protect your loved ones and your property, right?

Not so much.Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Caring Neighbors Pellets Patience Cookies Accuse Dog Poop Video Camera Surveillance Windows Broken Car

You see he didn’t just tell The Professor about “the attack.”  He asked The Professor if our kids did it!

What did he think we were going to say to that?

These are people that we take cookies to every holiday.  We rescue their trashcans from the wind.  We don’t let our dogs poop in their yard.  We had the grandfatherly one over for Thanksgiving last year when they all went on a trip without him.  We’re not tight, but we’re neighborly.

What was he thinking we’ve been doing?  That we were plotting all along?  The Christmas cookies were all a guise!  We’re just there to scope out pellet gun targets.  Hmmm, no cat?  No stained glass or pottery?  We’ll just come back over at night and hit your cars!

And, not only does he apparently think we’re dishonest, destructive, diabolical dunces, he also apparently thinks we are such morons that when he comes over here and accuses us, we will ‘fess up to the whole dastardly deed.  “Why, yes! My kids did shoot out your car windows! Absolutely! Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Caring Neighbors Pellets Patience Cookies Accuse Dog Poop Video Camera Surveillance Windows Broken Car Nice work, Columbo!  The cable was out and there was nothing on Netflix, so we said, “Grab your guns, kids, we’re goin’ a shootin’!”

Yes, that was a tad insulting, to both our moral fiber and our intelligence.  But, that wasn’t the biggest biter in that bag of ants.

Months ago, after having lived in their house for a couple years, these neighbors installed video cameras all around their property -facing OUT!  That’s right – they weren’t monitoring their property.  They were monitoring everyone else’s.  And, they were doing it with cameras with high resolution up to 1/3 of a mile away.  Well, we live in SoCal, so some of our neighbors are more like 1/3 of a foot away.

This went over very well in our neighborhood.  After all, everyone in LA wants to be in movies.  So what if they’re low budget home movies you don’t know you’re in.  A movie’s a movie! Slap it on the resume:  Starred as Woman In Raggedy Pajamas Scratching Rear In Family Room On Sunday Morning!  Is there an Oscar category for that?

Our house, conveniently the closest to theirs, has two walls of glass facing their house.  So, even without their high tech, fancy, schmancy digital snooping gearHumor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Caring Neighbors Pellets Patience Cookies Accuse Dog Poop Video Camera Surveillance Windows Broken Car they could, were they to walk over to the wall along the property line, look right into our kitchen, breakfast room, and family room and see the members of our family.  With their fancy gear, they could see our freckles and nose hair and record them to enjoy anytime they wanted.

Now, it’s not like we’re getting busy on the kitchen counter or anything.  Like I need another mess in the kitchen to clean up!  Truly, the best show they were getting was stooped adults in tattered, unmatched pajamas stumbling toward the coffee maker.

BUT, we should have the option to do whatever nastiness floats our boat in privacy in our own home if by some miracle we can get all of our kids to sleep at the same time on a night when we are both able to stay awake past 9pm without the threat of direct placement on YouTube.

It was the principle of the thing that bothered us.

So, we started closing the drapes for the first time in years.

Needless to say, there was some unhappiness expressed by many other neighbors.  The video-y neighbors had the cameras turned and announced that they were only monitoring their own property, which had been their intention all along.

The Grandfatherly one even told The Professor specifically that they could no longer see our house or yard in their videos.

Hmmm. Ok.

Well, here’s the thing.  We bought our boys airsoft guns (very similar to pellet guns – you see where this is headed, don’t cha?), and set up a target range in our back yard shortly after that “We’re not watching you anymore” conversation.  It was a weekend when those neighbors were out of town, because I didn’t want them complaining about the noise.

So, not only was our neighbor standing on our porch accusing our kids of being hoodlums, something that I believe is my right and mine alone as their mother to do, he was also unknowingly admitting that he was still videoing our yard and thus right through our glass walls and into our house!

He even went on to say that he had seen flashlight flashing on the side of our house the night of Humor Funny Parenting Moms Dads Kids Children Family Life Love Caring Neighbors Pellets Patience Cookies Accuse Dog Poop Video Camera Surveillance Windows Broken Car “the attack,” which my oldest son pointed out was him taking out the trash because the motion detector to turn on the light by our trash cans is disconnected (Our resident raccoon family disconnects it. They’ve done it 3 times.  We’ve given up on fixing it!).

So, how do you handle it when your neighbor, whom you have shown nothing but goodwill towards accuses your family of being a kin to the Gambinos? I don’t know how you would handle it, but I know how I did.

First, I told our kids to just let it go. People do dumb things sometimes.  Life’s short.  Move on.  They’ll still get cookies, although they may get some burnt ones if I’m feeling petty that day!

Secondly, I giggled when I saw the video company out adjusting and re-installing cameras. Apparently, in their zeal to keep an eye on all of their shifty neighbors, they had forgotten to arrange surveillance for the drive and street in front of their house and didn’t have any footage of “the attack!”

And, thirdly, and yes this is terribly immature and I will deny it if ever asked directly, I have made it a habit, when I am out in the neighborhood, to walk as closely to their cars as possible when I pass their house.  I’ve even ducked down behind one a couple times, just for fun. It’s good for them!  Keeps them guessing!

And, once, only once, I might have let our dog poop on their lawn. Maybe.

But, all in all, I feel sorry for them.  They’re so busy trying to protect themselves from life, they’re missing all of the joy in it.  I hope they catch on to that soon!

I’ll take their share in the meantime.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Gotta neighbor story?  I look forward to hearing all about it! Shoot me a comment so we can chat it up!

10 Responses
  • fadderly
    June 18, 2012

    wow! video cameras facing the neighborhood? if that’s not paranoia, than someone’s really nosy!!!

    • gina
      June 18, 2012

      It didn’t exactly scream “I’m happy to be here with y’all and filled with mental health!” 🙂

  • Paula @lkg4sweetspot
    June 18, 2012

    There should be some sort of privacy law covering that! That being said, I love your passive aggressive approach -that is just my style. And a little dog poop in the yard is good for everyone involved! I would also have the kids take the play guns and wave them around in the front yard on a regular basis…

    • gina
      June 18, 2012

      Sometimes my inner immature self screams to get out and escapes 🙂
      I should use more self-control, but it wouldn’t be as much fun!

  • Wow. Although He ain’t too keen on cute, God doesn’t like ugly. I was getting mad as I read on, but I’m glad the ending turned out funny.

    Oh, and the cookies…you might as well discontinue those things because they’re probably going to just throw them out anyway.

    • gina
      June 18, 2012

      I’m glad you stuck it out to the end, and that it gave you a laugh.
      You are probably right about the cookies. I know I wouldn’t eat any from them! But, I just can’t help but give people goodies at holidays. I’m trying to fatten them up so I will look thinner. 🙂

  • Monica
    June 18, 2012

    Ha, paranoid much? I bet one of the other neighbors who didn’t like being watched had something to do with the “attack”. Okay, so we’re the neighbor that makes the accusations around here. Only they aren’t just wild accusations and we don’t make them to our neighbor. After they piss us off enough we go straight to the landlord, lol. We live in a 3 family house on the 3rd floor. We absolutely adore our 2nd floor neighbor for the record. She’s like a grandmother to the kids and she has even babysat for us on occasion. Our children walk her dog for her, we frequently feed her, and she’ll do the same for us. It’s a lovely relationship. It’s the 1st floor that we have had no luck with. We just got rid of a thieving drug dealer. No seriously, we have video of her doing a drug deal right out in front of our house and we have proof that she stole a check out of our 2nd floor neighbor’s mailbox and she swiped a bag right out of our LOCKED storage facility in the basement. We finally got the landlord to evict her and he has just rented out to someone else. My husband and I cleaned the apartment to be rented and before these people even moved in they were picky about the storage facility in the BASEMENT not being swept out. So my husband had to go down there and sweep the basement. Now never mind that we spent over 10 hours cleaning out the apartment to begin with sending my allergies haywire because of the smoke smell, finding crack pipes, and all sorts of needles to make that place habitable and they were complaining about dirt on the floor of an UNFINISHED basement. Yeah, not a good way to start out. And since they have moved in they have been trashy slobs throwing stuff all over the front yard and not picking it up, flipping their cigarette buts all over the yard, parking their car on the sidewalk, parking in our parking spots, and yelling at my 4 year old. Well, not really yelling, but when my 4 year old saw them park in our 2nd floor neighbors spot one day he being 4 and without a filter said something to the guy about parking there and he actually asked a 4 year old where he was supposed to park. My son pointed to his parking like duh. Yeah nice that a 4 year old gets how this works. So anyways, today I got the lovely pleasure of sweeping sawdust off our front porch because they have someone doing some work in the apartment apparently and I guess he thinks we want to track sawdust into our home. Oh, and when they installed their dryer they unplugged and removed the vent from the 2nd floor dryer and left a note on her dryer telling her she had to fix it. Yup, that meant my husband had to fix it. Not that we mind doing that stuff for HER, but we shouldn’t have HAD to because there was no reason what so ever for them to be touching her machine. Needless to say our 2nd floor neighbor is not happy with these people either. I have tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, but seriously people have a lot of nerve. It’s like they think they own the house and everything in it.

    • gina
      June 18, 2012

      I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of that, Monica. It is so hard to live with difficult people like that.
      It sounds like you and your family are a blessing to your 2nd floor neighbor. I hope the 1st floor people get their act together soon or move on.
      Either way, it sounds like you are setting a great example for your little one of being caring and patient.

  • lisa
    June 28, 2012

    Is that legal to have cameras facing the inside of neighbors windows? I’m really surprised that’s even permitted by the township.

    • gina
      June 30, 2012

      It’s probably not, but whenever possible I like to handle things directly with people rather than bringing in the authorities, if at all possible. Seems to be undercontrol again. Time will tell, I guess! 🙂