It AIN’T Fishing If It’s With Children
(This post is dedicated to my dad, who has done more Fishing With Children than any person I know, and still loves to do it. And, who, I think, might be a little crazy. In a good way.)
There are only two kinds of fishing.
There is “Fishing.” And, there is “Fishing With Children.” These are two mutually exclusive activities.
Some people think these are variations of the same activity. They are wrong.
Moreover, once the cross has been made from Fishing to Fishing With Children it is not possible to switch back. Yes, you might have a temporary return to your former Fishing days, but ultimately you will spend the majority, if not all, of your fish hunting efforts engaged in Fishing With Children.
Fishing With Children is fun. It’s rewarding. It’s worth the effort. But, make no mistake – it ain’t Fishing.
People return from Fishing With Children filthy, exhausted, and comatose.
During Fishing, people stand or sit quietly, hoping not to disturb the shy fish.
During Fishing With Children, people, depending on their age, stand, sit, skip, dive, dance, whine, cry, giggle, complain, sing, argue, hug, yell, scream, and laugh – they laugh a lot – hoping fearless, deaf fish live nearby.
During Fishing, people bait hooks.
During Fishing With Children people try to bait hooks but are hampered because their 4-year-old spilled the worms, and their 2-year-old ate most of them. As they return to the bait shop for a second (and third) tub of worms, they remember the clerk saying, during the purchase of the first tub, that it’s always a good idea to get an extra tub of worms when you are Fishing With Children, and how the clerk said, “You’ll be back,” when they only purchased one.
During Fishing, people practice the delicate art of casting.
During Fishing With Children people trying to teach their children the delicate art of casting also get to practice the delicate art of “jumping in to retrieve the pole.” Repeatedly. “Ice the welt” is also frequently practiced.
During Fishing, people carefully reel in their lines in an effort to entice nearby fish to take the bait.
During Fishing With Children, people carefully grab their 7 year old’s life-jacket after he steps on the bait bin, trips, and nearly topples over the edge of the boat. For the third time. In the first hour.
During Fishing With Children no adult ever catches a fish because all adult time and effort is spent untangling children’s lines, attaching new hooks and sinkers, refereeing fishing spot claims, distributing snacks, picking up snack wrappers, rationing water, applying sunscreen, retrieving blown hats, bandaging scrapes, and attempting to find a location acceptable to an 8-year-old daughter to complete her emergency offloading.
During Fishing, when a fish is caught everyone in the area celebrates with the enthusiasm usually reserved for a life-saving hero. There is whooping and hollering, singing and dancing.
During Fishing With Children, when a fish is caught everyone in the area celebrates with the enthusiasm usually reserved for a life-saving hero. There is whooping and hollering, singing and dancing. Some things are the same for both.
After Fishing, people recant tales of the big fish that got away.
After Fishing With Children, people recant tales of the Pull-Up that floated away.
After Fishing, people are already planning the next trip.
After Fishing With Children, people are already planning a way to bring Xanax on the next trip.
Laugh Out Loud!
What is your latest fish story? I’m looking forward to hearing all about it! Please shoot me a comment with all the details.