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I’ll Just Stick My Finger In My Eye

I’ll Just Stick My Finger In My Eye

by Gina Valley

You know how sometimes you impress your family and friends with your skill and competence?

Yeah, me neither.

Last night a little moth flew straight into my face, landed on my nose, freaked out, and tried to fly away.  But, he must have forgotten how he got there (or maybe he just had a poor sense of direction.  Not judging here.  Just reporting) (Although I am pretty sure he’s male, since he didn’t ask for directions and I know how you guys hate to do that), so instead of flying away from my face, he cruised forward and went underneath the bridge of my glasses.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Moth Coordination Agility Skill  Competence Over-Reacting

So, the hyper Lepidoptera got trapped between my glasses and my eye.  This further, apparently, freaked out the moth (I believe that “freaked out” is in fact a scientific measurement of the quantity of spazzing out an organism is doing, even though The Professor continues to insist that it is not).  So, the moth took off flying and crashed directly into my right eye.

My winged assaulter then proceeded to fly the short route between my eye and the lens of my glasses repeatedly and rapidly, alternatingly bouncing off of the glass of the lens and the lid of my eye (thankfully my eyelid has that built in “close you fool!” reflex, because, heaven knows, I wasn’t thinking quickly enough to shut it).

I’m pretty sure that the little bugger completed his Kamikaze circuit at least 20,000 times in the ten seconds it took me to wrest my glasses from my face (you know, sometimes my glasses just fall off, but during this moth-related emergency they seemed to be cemented on to my ears with some sort of invisible glue).

I, naturally, remained completely calm and relaxed throughout the whole experience.

By “calm” I mean, naturally, “screaming and running around”(that counts as cardio, right?).  I’m pretty sure the moth was screaming, too.  The Professor says that moths can’t scream, but the moth was right by my eye, and I’m fairly certain I could see his little mouth screaming.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Moth Coordination Agility Skill Competence Over-Reacting

I’m also pretty sure that when a giant insect is attempting to gain entry into your body by way of your eyeball, it’s the perfect time for screaming.  Now, granted, this was a tiny moth, but I think the appropriate-screaming-time designation still applies.

You never know what those things are capable of morphing into latter.  After all, moths start out like little worms.  They somehow turn themselves into an animal that can fly.  Who knows what they can change into if one of them somehow manages to burrow into my brain. I’m not about to let one of them into my brain by way of my eyeball just to see what they are capable of.  I ‘m still using my brain.  Well, some of it, anyway.

So, having panicked and yet somehow having managed to survive this furry, aerial assault was bad enough, but then, as so often happens when I’m involved in something stupid that I hope no one else in the world ever finds out about, I felt a deep need to tell someone about it.

Very often, partly because he’s nearby, and partly because I know he won’t tell anyone (who’d believe him anyway?  Whose wife really gets into these sorts of predicaments on a regular basis besides Ricky Ricardo’s?) I decided to tell The Professor what had happened.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Moth Coordination Agility Skill Competence Over-ReactingHe started off pretty interested, because my moth incident had resulted in a puddle on the floor.  He’s always interested in the composition of puddles, partly because he’s a scientist interested in chemicals and partly because he’s a dad interested in not stepping in piddle.

He sort of lost interest in my short tale of moth woe early on when he determined that I’d created the puddle when I dropped my bottle of water while doing graceful ninja moves (my description) (probably would have been referred to as “I think mom is having a seizure” had any of my pack been witnesses) in an effort to evade my furry winged stalker.

But, as I was demonstrating the bizarre trajectory the moth took, I managed to poke myself in the eye with my fingernail.  I thought this was an especially brilliant move on my part because I was wearing my glasses at the time.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Moth Coordination Agility Skill Competence Over-ReactingThe Professor didn’t seem impressed with my finger agility or the extent of my injury.  In fact, he went so far as to imply that I was over-reacting to the situation, and by “imply” I mean he  actually said, “You’re over-reacting to this situation.”

My temporary blindness didn’t seem to raise any sympathy either.  He did suggest that I only type on the left side of the page until my vision in my nail-impaled right eye had returned to its normal clarity.

He’s a big help.

That’s ok, though.  I won’t take his lack of compassion personally.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Moth Coordination Agility Skill Competence Over-Reacting

In fact, I’m thinking of surprising him with some homemade chocolate chip cookies to take to work tomorrow, if my eye stops watering soon enough to make them.

The surprise will be that they’re not going to be chocolate chip cookies.  They’re going to be oatmeal cookies with raisins.  He hates those.  They get stuck in his teeth.

We’ll see who’s over-reacting when he bites into one of those.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Anything silly caused you to freak out recently?  Were your loved ones supportive, or too busy laughing?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

21 Responses
  • I would have been spazing OUT, too! I despise bugs. Especially the ones that can move quickly on their own! 🙂 Poor thing! I would not say you over-reacted. I would have been right there with you!

    • gina valley
      March 18, 2013

      Sometimes you just have to yell and run around like a crazy person. Well, at least I know I do! I’m not a fan of bugs in house, much less my eye!

  • You might suggest the professor take a First Aid course. I mean, don’t all educators love additional life enriching courses?

    • gina valley
      March 18, 2013

      I think he would laugh about that, Steve. He has taken CPR several times, so at least he’s prepared in case I have a bug-induced passout.

  • Roshni
    March 11, 2013

    OMG!! That would have freaked me out too! That tiny moth must have looked a bazillion times bigger just next to your iris!!

    • gina valley
      March 18, 2013

      It was VERY freaky, Roshni! I kept thinking he was going to get stuck to my eye!

  • rsrote
    March 16, 2013

    Oh my goodness–this sounds just like something I’d do OatmeaRaisins LOL

    • gina valley
      March 18, 2013

      I think a lot of life lessons can be taught with Oatmeal Raisin cookies. 🙂

  • Barbara Mascareno
    March 16, 2013

    Wow, it must have been some sight to see. But to think about it, it’s springtime. Moths and butterflies like to fly around this time of the season.

    • gina valley
      March 18, 2013

      You’re right,Barbara. It’s definitely the season for it. But,I hope the rest of this season’s bugs are a bit smarter than this moth was!

  • Am I allowed to laugh?? I feel terrible for you I would have freaked out too! LOL

    • gina valley
      March 18, 2013

      Absolutely laugh, Leigh! I love to share laughs. It makes all the goofiness of life worth while.

  • Andrea
    March 16, 2013

    I’m the one that always gets the bugs in the mouth on our family bike rides. I feel your pain!

    • gina valley
      March 18, 2013

      I think the bugs pick out the most awesome people to hang out with! 🙂

  • Christy
    March 16, 2013

    I would be spazzing out as well trying to get the bug out from between my eye and glasses. Thank you for the laugh Gina. I hope you have a great weekend and that the bugs stay out from behind your glasses.

    • gina valley
      March 18, 2013

      I’m so glad to get to share some giggles with you, Christy! I’ve had a lovely, moth free weekend! 🙂

  • Rebel Sweetheart
    March 17, 2013

    Same here! I probably would have done the same thing, if not something even more extreme. Hope your eye is better now!

    • gina valley
      March 18, 2013

      Thanks! My eye is fine. Fortunately, it closed every time the moth was close to it.
      Sometimes, you just have to freak out.

  • Oh Gina I belly laughed all the way through this post!! I’m glad I’m not the only one to “over react” to such things!! (So how did the un-chocolate-chip cookie surprise go??!)

  • gina valley
    March 18, 2013

    I’m so glad to hear I shared a good laugh with you, Ronae! It’s worth all the goofiness to get to share some giggles. You are definitely not the only one to over react! I haven’t had time to do the cookies, but I definitely will!