How To Know If Your Kids Have Had Too Much Candy

How To Know If Your Kids Have Had Too Much Candy

by Gina Valley

I don’t know how things are going at your house, but around here things have been quite candy-centric lately.

My children have occupied their every waking moment with counting their candy, comparing their candy, trading their candy, and, of course, eating their candy.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally How To Know If Your Kids Have Had Too Much Candy I have occupied much of my time telling them to put away their candy, to calm down the heated negotiations about their candy, and, of course, to pick up the blasted wrappers from their candy that are now scattered throughout our home like some sort of New Year’s Eve confetti.

My pack has also managed to scarf down the leftovers from the giant bowl of candy I’d prepared to hand out to the throngs of kids knocking on our door.

The bowl was still quite full after the designated Night O’ Candy Begging, despite our having let each and every child who came to our door take as much as they wanted to, as we only had 15 kids come a knockin’ (our neighborhood is not exactly a hot bed of Trick or Treating activity.  Even my pack goes to a different neighborhood to Trick or Treat).

With all this candy saturation, it is important for a parent to know when his or her child (or his or her self or his or hers spouse’s self) has had too much candy (yes, there is such a thing).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally How To Know If Your Kids Have Had Too Much Candy My years of parenting and candying experience have helped me to develop a keen sense for when someone has passed that line dividing Candy Nirvana and Candy Insanity.

If your child (or your spouse or you) meets any of the following qualifications, he or she (or you) has had too much candy:

  • can run faster than not just every dog, but also every car in your neighborhood
  • has left indentations in every wall in your home from bouncing off of them
  • can switch off the light and be out of the room before it gets dark
  • when forced to sit down causes every piece of furniture in the room to vibrate and the hamster’s wheel to spin
  • has not stopped talking, even to take a breath, for the last 48 hours (also an indication of being a 3 year old or my Aunt Bessie).
  • Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Totally How To Know If Your Kids Have Had Too Much Candy can not only say the entire alphabet forwards and backwards in one burst, but also has added in 15 new letters
  • sends your diabetic cat into a sugar coma just by breathing on her
  • checks out his or her hamburger, and yells, “ Why isn’t there nougat on this?!?!”
  • does that River Dance thing so fast smoke is produced and groves are made in the floor
  • causes fluorescent lights to glow every time he or she (or you) walks near them

If you still aren’t sure whether your child (or yourself or your spouse) has had too much candy, slip a mini Snickers into their beverage, then see if they can swim a lap without getting wet.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How flows the candy tide at your house?  Do you monitor the candy intake or just hope it all disappears soon?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Stingy Southern Girl

Love your sense of humor and sarcasm! The first thing I did after my kids went to bed was filch all the chocolate and stash it in the freezer for holiday baking (mini candy bars are great for covering up cracks in an otherwise-perfect cheesecake!). Then I put a good chunk of the rest of it away for Christmas stockings. I don’t know if it’s good or bad that the amount of sugar they consume doesn’t really seem to affect my kids?

gina valley

Thank you so much!
It sounds like you have a great system in place for handling the Halloween loot. Honestly, I let mine eat pretty much whatever they want for the first day, then limit it the 2nd day. By the 3rd or 4th day, they’ve usually forgotten all about it. Using it for later is a great idea!

Lolo

Love reading your blog! This year I sort of skipped the candy nightmare… We went on a weekend trip out of town and there, Halloween´s not a big deal!!
Nonetheless, mine are candy freaks even if it´s not Oct 31st!
See you around and hope you have a great week
Lolo

gina valley

Thank you! I am so glad you enjoy it, Lolo.
My kids are candy freaks everyday, too! I can’t blame them, though, as I like it, too. I just know I can’t eat it.

Roxi | Mr. Jacob's Mom

We definitely monitor candies and other sugary goods at home. It’s quite difficult when his grandma’s around since she’ll just give him anything. So I always have to be the “bad guy” to stop the sweets train.

gina valley

Grandma’s do tend to be a bit more lax with that kind of thing. I know my children’s grandparents are. But, that is part of the joy of having grandparents.

Roz K. Walker

I love this! Those are definitely some good signs of too much candy. I’ve seen it many times at church when some well-meaning person hands out candy to all the kids right before sending them back to their parents (yikes!).

gina valley

Thank you so much, Roz! So glad you liked it.
It is awfully fun to give other people’s children candy. Hyper children are great fun to see, as long as they aren’t my children!

RH

Haha!! Adds new letters to the alphabet?? You’ve got this down to a science. Love visiting this website; too funny.
I have nothing to add to this list, but I definitely recognize far too many of the bullets. Glad Halloween is over.

gina valley

I’m so glad to get to share a laugh with you!

Now that we’re clear of the Halloween candy, we’ve got all the Thanksgiving and Christmas candy on the radar! Lol!

gina valley

I think radioactive, superhero-creating material & candy both have similar effects on children.

Always happy to share a giggle!

Emma

LOL! Love this! We’ve been using some of the candy for science experiments I’ve found online, but even so a lot of it still gets in the little mouth of hers!

Cynthia

Too funny. We hid our sons stash and have been rationing. So… I’m not sure what the too much candy effect would be on our 3 year old. I’m kind of afraid to find out! LOL.

gina valley

When we hide our children’s candy, we tend to eat more, so I just leave it out now. Mine overdo it for a couple days, then most of them forget all about it.

In my experience, 3 year olds on too much candy can fly! ;o)