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How Many Points Is Invisible Food?

How Many Points Is Invisible Food?

by Gina Valley

It bothers me when our dog –

(Is she a dog or a puppy?

I pride myself on getting these details correct. I want to give you, my dear readers, the correct picture. She’s only 6 months old, so technically she’s still very much a puppy. She acts like a puppy, gets scared easily, is highly curious, falls down for no reason.

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But, she’s 60lbs now. She doesn’t look much like a puppy at that size, even when she’s trying to curl up on my lap. I’m not sure which term to use to accurately describe this giant, silly furball)

– but, anyway – it bothers me when the canine walks in, looks down at the floor, picks something I can’t see up, and eats it.

I just finished sweeping, then mopping, the floor, and still, she came in, sniffed around, sucked some un-seeable morsel up, and is now chewing her elusive bite.

What is she eating?

Why is there something “eatable” on the floor, apparently, all the time, no matter where she is?

Am I walking around on food and not seeing it?

Is she eating invisible food?

If it’s invisible, is it food?

Is it like those whistles only dogs can hear?  Food only dogs can see?

Is she just pretending to eat?

Is she out of her mind?

Am I?

You know, they say pets make your life longer.

I say they just make it feel that way.

She just ate something else.

And, I think she winked at me.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What do your pets do that make you question your sanity?  Do you think they do it on purpose?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

3 Responses
  • Molly Blazor
    August 8, 2013

    Hahaha, I remember this from my days as a dog owner. My brother has a new ‘puppy’ approaching the 50 pound mark. It’s funny how they don’t realize they’ve become gigantic. Not a lap dog anymore!

  • steve shapiro
    August 8, 2013

    Yea, she will be fat eating that invisible food. No!

    Dogs that size and age become not dogs or puppies,; but they are — and for the rest of their lives — doggies.

    Doggies don’t stand for shows, don’t hunt for their owners, don’t tract for the Sheriff’s department; they sit on your lap and eat invisible food, lick faces, get their bellies scratched; and as George Carlin said “The do their job. They dream.” As they get older, they’ll do their job better and better.

    Fact is, they lick the floor, or eat non food stuff as a way of ‘feeling’ the object of their curiosity. Our English Mastiff, Harry, who weighted for 186 lbs to 212 and sat on my lap, or where ever else he wanted to sit; Harry also ate rocks.

    He did it so repeatedly that we began to believe he liked the enemas. We all realized he wanted to own his own Real Estate.

    He left home at age 11 1/2 which is a record for a doggie that size. We know he’s not running with the pack lead be Peter and Paul, because he was a couch potato. I’m sure God lets him eat all the rocks he wants to.

  • Brian Stephens
    August 12, 2013

    You would think our dog (just over 2 years old) would be excited every time the baby sits down in her high chair for a meal, and sometimes she does. But even the dog is tired of seeing Cheerios. Apparently, everyone gets tired of Cheerios at some point in their life. Now I have the pleasure of “finding” them by hearing the crunch under my feet. Fun!