Did I Say Something?
by Gina Valley
“Wash your hands!” I just hollered at my 11 year old for the fifth time in 5 minutes.
Clearly, this was a torturous task.
I mean the washing for him. Not the hollering by me. I’m quite good at hollering. I’ve been practicing for years. It’s no trouble at all. Comes quite naturally. Must be a parent thing.
Then, I heard myself holler what I have hollered and said and whispered and nearly cursed uncountable times, “I’ll bet your teacher doesn’t have to tell you to wash your hands more than once.”
Without missing a beat, my mini minion shot back, “She doesn’t tell us. We have to wash our hands before we line up after recess. Everybody knows that.”
And, there it is.
If she says that they’re to wash their hands after recess, they wash their hands after recess.
If I say that, prior to sitting down for lunch, they’re to wash their hands after they have been playing in the pile of cow manure that’s waiting to be spread over our lawn, I’m asking too much.
I was reminded of that age old parenting adage:
Children will do anything for their teachers.
We used to live across the street from the school two of my children attended at the time. It was 30 feet from the end of our driveway to the back edge of the school. Our kids just had to hop the fence, walk across the playing field, and they were at the blacktop. It was quick; it was short; it was easy, and our kids didn’t do it. Nope, our kids walked all the way around, about ½ mile, to go into the front of the school.
Lest you think the fence hoppin’ is a deterrent, know that my kids hopped fences before they walked.
I was raised Presbyterian, so we didn’t hop fences when I was a kid. We were raised to respect that fences signified boundaries one needed permission to cross. I never hopped them as a kid – except when we were camping – all bets are off when you’re in the woods.
In civilized society, I was taught, a fence was not crossed over by law abiding citizens. If they wanted you in there there’d be a gate. Find a gate or stay out.
But, I’ve always been a bit of a rebel, so I’ve never allowed fences to slow my pack down. Besides, we’re usually running late. Much to the chagrin of the proper parents & fence fearers around us, my kids have always breeched every fence in their way without a second thought.
No, my kids weren’t walking an extra ½ mile to school out of a misplaced sense of fence respect. Nope. My kids were walking half a mile all the way around the school because they didn’t want to get grass on their shoes. Apparently, the grass at that school was very dewy, causing pieces of grass to adhere to their footwear and they wanted to avoid this condition.
“They must be tremendously tidy,” you might be thinking. No! Are you kidding me? I think they’re hiding curly tails under their jeans. In fact, the walk home across the field was no problem. Sometimes they looked like they were wearing grass boots by the time they got home.
They didn’t walk across the field on the way to school because their teacher didn’t like grass tracked into the classroom.
I can’t get my kids to leave their shoes outside when they step in dog doo!
They won’t walk 5 extra steps to put trash in the trash can.
Yet, they’d walk 100 times farther than they had to in order to avoid tracking grass into their classroom because their teacher didn’t like it.
I wish I could have convinced their teacher to use her magical powers to get them to clean their rooms or to go to bed on time or to stop bickering. But, she was only willing to apply them to school-centric issues.
That’s ok, though.
I saw their teacher at the grocery store yesterday. I would have said “Hello,” but she was pretty busy saying to her 7 year old, “I can’t believe I’ve had to tell you to put your shoes back on 5 times in this store!”
I guess teacher magic only works on their students.
Laugh Out Loud!
-gina
Ever feel like you are being ignored? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.
Susan Cooper
May 28, 2013Awe the life of a mother. At least you keep a smile on your face… Good Job
gina valley
May 29, 2013Gotta smile! Even if no one is listening! :o) Thanks for stopping by, Susan.
Kimberly, The Fur Mom
May 29, 2013I’m not a mom, just a step mom, so I just get to witness these exchanges and wonder if my step son is a complete moron, was dropped on his head, or if he’s pulling a fast one on us. I just love their logic and can, sadly, remember using the same logic on my mom.
What we’re experiencing now is “yes it is!” or “no it’s not” – said in a snarky, teen way. Every single time he’s wrong and being a step, I have the distance that gives me the patience to still talk to him when he’s being a complete jerk to me.
I know he’s not trying to be mean, he’s just a teen.
Lisa Ladrido
May 29, 2013That is so funny. I can picture them coming home with those grass boots on! Ignored? All the time!! I was just thinking the other day how every morning was the same. Me telling (yelling) them to wake up because they were going to miss the bus and them, ignoring me. Of course many times they missed it. Now that they have all been out of the house for over 3 years now, I miss even those days!
Leigh @oneandoneequalstwinfun.com
May 30, 2013LOL – but you have to wonder – are her kids listening because she has that teacher magic at home? Maybe teachers wouldn’t be listened to if there wasn’t a principal to be sent to if they were misbehaving. Please ask her how her kids behave!!! I would love to know if she is amazing in all areas 🙂
gina valley
June 2, 2013Actually, I know her pretty well and her kids ignore her at home, just like mine do me. I guess the magic only works when you are the child’s teacher. :o)
Karen Dawkins
May 30, 2013I scream at my kids too and say the same thing! It’s a curse! My husband, however, needs only look at the kids to get the response he wants. He must have telepathy! I want it. 🙂
gina valley
June 2, 2013That would drive me crazy, Karen! I have to admit that the only person my kids ignore more than me is my husband. I think I have the edge there because I make sure they get fed!
Christy Garrett
May 30, 2013I find it annoying when my kids won’t do what I ask, but they jump to do it for someone else. The joys of motherhood. Mine sometimes think hand sanitizer is a replacement for washing hands.
gina valley
June 2, 2013I totally agree, Christy! It’s mind boggling what kids will do for anyone who is not their parent. One of mine went through the “hand sanitizer instead of washing” phase. Grossed me out! I had so much trouble getting him to realize that all that did was kill the “bugs” but it didn’t remove them or their poop or dirt. 😛
Pepper Tan
May 30, 2013I also find that my daughter easily obeys other people more than she does me. That’s just how things are, I’m afraid.
gina valley
June 2, 2013I think you’re right, Pepper. It seems that everyone has the same thing happen with their children. Part of the fun of parenting, I suppose! :o)
Taylor Gilmore
May 30, 2013I never could figure out why children listen to any one who isn’t named Mom. 🙂
gina valley
June 2, 2013I can’t figure it out either, Taylor. It must be some requirement in their “I’m a Kid” contract, because it seems as though they all abide by that rule.
Pamela R
May 31, 2013it’s amazing how much power is in the classroom–when I taught the kids knew all the rules and YEP at home I’m repeating my self 5 zillon times too.
gina valley
June 2, 2013It is amazing, Pamela. I taught elementary school and parents were constantly amazed at what polite, tidy, responsible people their children were at school. I had the same experience as you, though. At home, my teacher magic did not work at all.
Lexie Lane
June 3, 2013For now, I don’t go through this with my toddler, but I have seen it with my nieces. They will do things for me but not for their parents. I see how it can get really annoying.
Heather McCurdy
June 3, 2013Oh my … so freakin’ true!!! I do NOT want to get in the habit of saying, I’ll tell your teacher, but sometimes a parent must do what a parent must do!! Ugh. They are all the same :).