The Circus Parade Of Idiots:
Coming To A School Parking Lot Near You!!!
by Gina Valley
Nothing brings out the inner moron in people quite like driving through a school parking lot.
And, nothing causes that moronic flower to blossom quite like the stress of the first day of school.
So, when you put the two together you’ve got yourself a 3 ring circus, The School Parking Lot 3 Ring Circus. When that happens, the best thing to do is to just sit back and watch the show (from a safe distance, preferably while wearing a sturdy helmet).
The School Parking Lot 3 Ring Circus definitely came to our town this week. On the first day of school all three rings were up and running at my daughters’ school.
In the Ring #1 of The School Parking Lot 3 Ring Circus the driver of a huge pickup truck opened the performance. My youngest daughter and I had the privilege of front row seats. We were right behind the giant vehicle in the left exit lane, having just dropped off my two older daughters for their first day of school (be sure to get all of the giggles from Ring #2 and Ring #3 of The Parking Lot 3 Ring Circus, too).
As we waited in line for the signal to turn green, so we could continue along my child drop-off route, we saw the driver of this giant truck climb out. She was a tiny woman, who did in fact have to climb down to reach the ground safely. I immediately wondered how she was able to see out of the giant mechanical beast to drive it.
But, she must have been able to see well enough to spy the tiny car waiting in line to exit in front of hers, because she stormed up to it and started shouting at the driver. I couldn’t tell what she was saying (our windows were, thankfully, up), but her waving arms and stomping feet made it clear she wasn’t greeting a long, lost friend.
We were spared what was likely a colorful auditory presentation, but we still enjoyed a very dramatic mime show. I looked around at the rest of the audience, cued up as they were, and found most were in near hysterics at the spectacle. I was torn, trying to decide between laughing and calling 911. Clearly, this mime shouldn’t have been let out of the box.
I guess the driver of the miniature car wasn’t paying proper attention to the performer, because the tiny screaming woman mime started pounding on the window of the small car.
Then, and I am still amazed by this, the driver of the tiny car rolled down her window.
It was a surprising twist, and truly the comedic highlight of that first ring of the circus. I wondered what that driver could possibly have been thinking. My daughter stared open-mouth at me. All I could think to tell her was, “Just think, those two bozos are raising children.”
Their performance faded to black, as the signal turned green and the audience members maneuvered their cars around the 2 still-active performers and their vehicles to exit the parking lot.
I like to think that they knew our turn signals were really applause for their memorable performance.
I had to hurry off toward the next stop on my kid drop off route.
Didn’t want to risk missing the show there.
Laugh Out Loud!
Has the circus showed up at a school near you? Have you seen any side shows in a parking lot lately? How was the first day of school for your family? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission