Please DON’T Paint The Dog!!!

Please DON’T Paint The Dog!!!

by Gina Valley

I wish my kids were bored.

My friends often lament the frustration of dealing with their children’s boredom during school vacation. I try to be sympathetic, but I really don’t understand it.

My kids aren’t bored.

My oldest daughter isn’t bored, because she’s been busy coloring her hair with purple Kool Aid.  She‘s determined that Kool Aid is an excellent, non-toxic dye. It sticks to, and permanently stains, anything it touches, including the new bathroom rug and matching shower curtain, the freshly painted bathroom walls, the white bathroom countertop and cabinet, the wood floor in the hall, her bedroom ceiling fan, the desk in my office, and one of her guinea pigs.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Please DON'T Paint The Dog!!! Summer

In fact, the only thing the purple Kool Aid didn’t color was her hair.

One of my children is not bored, because he or she (no one has yet taken credit for this anti-boredom activity), figured out how to, perhaps in honor of the upcoming Independence Day festivities, produce an impressive fireworks display, using only a ball of aluminum foil, a magic marker, and our brand new microwave oven.

He or she also figured out how to fill the entire house with toxic smoke, how to keep the local firefighters from being bored, and how to destroy a brand new microwave oven.

My two youngest sons aren’t bored, because they’ve been busy proving I was wrong, and testing the Law of Gravity. They determined they could, in fact, get a bike up into their treehouse, even though I said that I didn’t think that was possible. And, they reconfirmed the overwhelming, unbending Law of Gravity by attempting to ride said bicycle down the slide from their treehouse and into the wading pool.

They did, however, find that the Law of Gravity prevented them from splashing down into the wading pool, and instead landed them in the emergency room, where one of them got 7 stitches in a very personal place.

My youngest daughter isn’t bored, because she’s been busy combing through the shrubs around our house for lizards. She’s also discovered that if she brings in one of her new found reptile buddies, and drops it on my desk when I’m not paying attention, I’ll be quite startled, and have to put more than enough dollar bills into the swear jar for all of my children, and most of their friends, to get an ice cream from the ice cream man every time he rolls by this week.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Please DON'T Paint The Dog!!! SummerOur 5 year old isn’t bored, because he is currently spending every waking hour perfecting his Hide-n-Seek game. It’s with great pleasure and pride that I’ll be able to tell his kindergarten teacher he has, in fact, developed his fine motor skills to such an extent that operating scissors is no longer a problem.

The eye holes he cut in the curtains of every room of our house so that he could see out while hiding behind them, however, is a problem.

One of my daughters is not bored, because she’s been very busy “re-styling” our dog. Our big, male Labrador is currently sporting dangly pearl earrings (which I was relieved to find are clip-ons), a coordinating 3-strand pearl necklace, a pink bow above each of his floppy ears, and bright purple nail polish on most of his toenails.

I wondered if it would’ve made more sense to paint our girl dog’s toenails.

I was wondering why I thought it made sense to paint any dog’s toenails when my daughter commented that our nearly white, now fashionisto Labrador would look just like a zebra if he had black stripes.

As she ran off, followed closely by our now extra-stylish dog, a wave of panic swept over me.

I hollered after her:

Please, don’t paint the dog!”

I really wish my kids were bored.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Is it summer break in your neck of the woods? Are your kids bored? Do you wish they were? How about your neighbor’s kids? Are they climbing the walls? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Dreamstime.com – Used with permission.

 

School Is A 4 Letter Word!!!

School Is A 4 Letter Word!!!

by Gina Valley

I don’t want to hear it.

I’ve been making a valiant effort to avoid it. Yes, I’m in denial and I know that’s not healthy and I don’t care.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley School Is A 4 Letter Word!!!It’s the middle of summer. Stop saying “school.”

We’re in the middle of heat wave. Stop saying “school.”

It’s still July, for goodness sake. Stop saying “school.”

School can’t start. I don’t even have tan lines yet. We haven’t even gone on vacation yet. And, frankly, simultaneously shopping for bathing suits, school supplies, and winter boots is not my idea of a good time.

The far greater majority of our days are already dominated by school:

Getting to school.

Getting home from school.

Getting homework done.

Going back to school to get the book to get the homework done.

They say a school year is 180 days, but that doesn’t include the weekends, evenings, and holidays spent working on school projects and participating on school academic, artistic, and athletic teams.

It’s really closer to 432 days per year.

Even during the summer, we’re still deep in the school mix with summer reading lists and sports practices, not to mention calls, emails, and letters from our schools about overdue text books and upcoming orientations.

It’s nonstop.

But, couldn’t we, just for a little while, just for a couple months, go with the unhealthy and be in denial? Couldn’t we pretend that great wave of academia is not looming, every-present, waiting to crash down upon us? Couldn’t we just ignore the giant textbook-toting elephant in the living room and kitchen and newspaper in nearly everyone’s home for just a little while?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley School Is A 4 Letter Word!!!Is it really a break from school when we’re always surrounded by headlines, emails, ads, and tweets about school? Is it really a break from school when even the gift shop at Disneyland has a Back to School aisle?  Is it really a break from school when both the local teacher supply store and the liquor store are sporting “Stock up: School Starts Soon!” banners?

Yes, our kids need a break from the grip of academia, but we, their parents, need one even more.

Or, at least I know I do.

So, chill out, Target.

Relax, WalMart.

Take a break, Macy’s.

Call back later, Verizon.

Sign off Yahoo, Google, and Amazon.

No, I don’t want to save 70% on school supplies this week. No, I don’t want to buy one book bag, get one half off today. No, I don’t want to read about the top 10 ways to fight summer brain drain right this second. No, I don’t want to get the latest 4G devices to give my kids an electronic, educational edge this month.

What I want is for this summer break to last another couple years, or at least to have the time off we have left to be free from the mention of school.

I want to look at the giant pile of wet swimsuits and dripping beach towels, and to not think about the giant pile of school clothes soon to replace it.

I want to forget to make dinner until 9:30pm, without thinking it’s really about time to get everyone on a decent sleep schedule, so they can get out of bed in the mornings for school.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley School Is A 4 Letter Word!!!

I want to think about sand and sunshine and caterpillars, not pens and notebooks and carpool schedules.

I want my kids to be looking for water balloons and beach towels and marshmallows, not PE clothes and math books and backpacks.

And, the only thing I’d like to see in an ad is a new beach chair, preferably at half-off.

Because ever since my youngest son “borrowed” a “few” parts from my beach chair to make a catapult, it’s been reduced to a piece of brightly colored fabric with a few aluminum rods across it. It’s really just a bumpy beach rug now.

Of course, no one sells beach chairs in July, especially in the middle of a heat wave.

I’ll have to wait to buy one until the traditional beach chair selling season.

In the middle of December.

Right after the first big snowfall.

And the week before ads for the big Get Ready For Summer!!! campaign start.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Does summer seem to get shorter every year to you, too? Are you looking forward to school starting, or are you dreading it? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing what you think.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Top 10 Signs Your Kids Are On Summer Break …Gina’s Favorites

Top 10 Signs Your Kids Are On Summer Break …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Summer is in full swing around here. It must be, otherwise, I’ve lost my mind for no apparent reason.
While I look for it, laugh along with this timely Gina’s Favorites post.

Top 10 Signs Your Kids Are On Summer Break

Have you developed a twitch that you can’t explain?  Has the noise level in your home risen to uncountable decibels?  Is every towel you own covered in mud?

I think I know what you’re suffering from. You might just have a case of Kids-On-Summer-Break.

Here’s some signs to check for.

Top 10 Signs Your Kids Are On Summer Break.

#10.  You’ve put green and red popsicles on the food pyramid as vegetables.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs Your Kids Are On Summer Break ...Gina's Favorites#9.  You have no idea what day of the week it is (even more than usual!).

#8.  You aren’t sure when the last time your child took a real bath with soap and everything was, and you wonder if the time they dumped bubbles into the lake while they were swimming counts.

#7.  You think ice cream for dinner is a nice change from the watermelon your kids ate exclusively for the previous 2 days.

#6.  You wonder how many days in a row your child can wear a swimsuit before you legally have to call in the HazMat Team.

#5.  The hose in your yard has been running non-stop for more days than you can count.

#4.  You’ve hollered “When I was a kid, we played outside!” more than 15 times. In one day.

#3.  You spent $35 on lemonade making supplies, which your children made into a thick, yellow liquid, and sold to passersby for a total of $3.75, just so you wouldn’t have to answer the “Can we watch TV now?” question again for a few hours.

#2.  You dog’s coat looks extra shiny because someone covered him with sunscreen. Twice.

#1.  No one will go to bed.  Ever.

Relax. After all, things could be worse.

It could be time for Back to School.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What’s your favorite summer memory? What do your kids like to do on a lazy summer day? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Drills We NEED To Have …Gina’s Favorites

Drills We NEED To Have …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Summer is in full swing at our house, so I think it’s a good time to review some helpful drills.

Drills We Actually NEED To Have

My kids’ school had a fire drill the last day of school.  I’m not sure they really benefitted from that one.  Let’s face it, few of us ever benefitted from the monthly fire drill at school beyond getting some extra time to mess around and maybe to push off a math test.

Funny Humor Drills Summer http://ginavalley.com/  Drills We NEED To Have ...Gina's Favorites  – Laugh All About It!But, since school has primed our kids to be ready for drills, why not take advantage of their readiness and run some drills that will actually help life run more smoothly this summer?

Not sure what to drill your family on or how to go about it?  Fear not! My kids have stomach flu this week, so, since I was up all night, I put this handy dandy drilling list together for you.

Shoe Retrieval Drill – Just once I’d like to leave the house with my entire pack wearing shoes.  I know that’s never going to happen, so I figure the next best thing is to work on their shoe retrieval skills.

Begin this drill after everyone is securely buckled into their seats in the family vehicle. At the sound of the key entering the ignition family members are to rapidly exit the vehicle and run back into the house to get a pair of shoes.  Extra points will be awarded for any runner who retrieves 2 of his or her own shoes.  Double point bonuses are scored if the two shoes match each other AND currently fit the runner.  Laces present or working zippers in both shoes earn a triple bonus!

Beach Loo Drill – Why is it a child’s need to visit the facilities increases directly with the distance your beach blanket is from those facilities?

Begin this drill by finding the perfect spot for your beach blanket. You’ll know you’ve found the perfect spot when the building for the facilities appears to be a mere dot on the horizon.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Drills We NEED To Have ...Gina's Favorites Drills SummerEveryone should be wearing uncomfortable shoes that fill easily with sand or cheap flip flops that come apart every two or three steps.  Immediately prior to beginning the drill each participant must be thoroughly soaked with ocean water to maximize stickiness and chaffing.

At the sounding of the whiny “I gotta go now!” all participants must rush directly to the facilities, running with their legs crossed the last half of the journey.

Moreover, each participant must wait out in the wind for his or her turn to enter the facilities, as no matter how many potential depositories there are only one is ever functional.

Each wind-chilled, soaked and chaffing participant must enter the facilities, remove his or her wet bathing suit, which undoubtedly has decided to become a permanent part of the participant’s body, complete off loading, file the paperwork, and re-don his or her bathing suit.

Note:  participants must complete the in-facility part of this drill while simultaneously holding his or her breath as protection from the grievously noxious odors, and complaining constantly about the unsanitary state of the facilities and lack of proper supplies.

Bonus points given for getting the wet bathing suit back on in such a manner that all vital areas are covered on the first try.  Double bonus points are given if the suit never touches the grungy bathroom floor.  Triple bonus points are awarded to any participant who brought along his or her own paperwork supplies.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Drills We NEED To Have ...Gina's Favorites Drills SummerRV Barfing Drill – What is it about camping in an RV that invariably causes a young family member to need to suddenly, violently, often projectile-ly re-visit, usually into the only pair of shoes his or her dad brought?

Begin this drill with the sound of a wretch.

Everyone is to make their way quickly out of the RV, hiding hard to clean items, such as shoes or school books along the way, as they proceed rapidly to the designated outdoor approved revisiting location.

Bonus points are given for weaving through the shoe gauntlet near the RV bedroom without tripping, and for not falling off those nasty black metal stairs-of-death on the way out.

Note: This drill can also be adapted for time spent in SUV and passenger cars, or for specific re-visiting vacation needs, such as for Son#4 who revisits anytime he eats anything orange.

Emergency Dinnering – Why is it so impossible to have dinner at a decent hour during the summer?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Drills We NEED To Have ...Gina's Favorites Drills SummerStart this drill at 8:45pm, when it is getting dark and you’ve realized no one ever made, much less ate, dinner because it hadn’t started to get dark yet.

Use only the food you ALWAYS have on hand but never use, including that lone can of garbanzo beans, the slightly wilted bag of lettuce, 4 stiff tortillas, a can of SPAM, whatever is in those two spice jars with no labels, and that rapidly dehydrating, half un-wrapped block of cheddar in the back of the meat drawer.

Bonus points are scored if you have company over to eat dinner with you the night of this drill. Double bonus points are earned if you are able to grill the entire meal prior to running out of propane.

Emergency Cell Phone Call Drill – Why is it that we can never locate our cell phone for those once a year moments when we actually really need to make a call with it, like when someone’s bleeding or there’s a fire or we’re out of ice cream?

It’s smart to run this drill periodically throughout the year.  Start by having one of your children either shove your cell phone down a sofa or fire up a raging game of Angry Birds.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Drills We NEED To Have ...Gina's Favorites Drills Summer

At the sound of the alarm assume a life threatening emergency is occurring.  As quickly as you can, locate and retrieve your cell-phone WITHOUT having someone call it.

Bonus points if it’s the first cell phone you pull out of the sofa cushions.

Double bonus points if you can figure out how to shut off Angry Birds so that you can make the 911 call without those bloody birds squawking in the background.

If your cell phone has 21% or greater charge at the time of the drill you earn a triple bonus.

Let’s be prepared out there!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are you prepared for summer “emergency” situations?  Drop me a comment.  I look forward to hearing all about it!

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Games I’ll Miss When School’s Out

Games I’ll Miss When School’s Out

by Gina Valley

My children’s school year draws to a close this week. And, along with it, many of the games I played on a daily basis.

My pack worked hard to develop these games to keep me busy. They didn’t want me to have free time on my hands, and end up joining a gang. They’re givers. Truly givers.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Games I’ll Miss When School’s Out Summer School BreakI’ll miss playing Guess What’s Behind Door #1. I loved the feeling I’d get when I returned home from taking my kids to school, walked into our entryway, and saw a backpack, a stack of textbooks, a musical instrument or two, and various sports paraphernalia there, all of which were, apparently, invisible to my pack as they rushed out through that same entry way on their way to school.

I’ll have to do without the heart-racing challenge of Beat The “I Forgot…” Call. Each morning, upon returning home after delivering my progeny to their various educational institutions, I’d dash into my office and race to finish whatever work was pushing its deadline that day before I’d get the “I Forgot” call or IFC, as I like to call it. The question was not “Will I get the IFC?” The question was how many IFC’s I would get.

I’d get at least one IFC every morning. Sometimes I’d get two or even three. Once I got eight, which is an especially impressive display of forgetfulness on the part of my offspring, since there are only seven of them.

It’s hard to say who will miss playing Guess What Your Kid Did? more, me or the school principals. I’ve had surprise bonding sessions with the principals at each of my children’s school in order to answer a variety of questions, most of which start with “Mrs. Valley, are you aware that your child…?” …had a Samuari sword in her locker? …is the only 2nd grader wearing 4’heels? …disconnected the water pipe from the sink in the students’ bathroom? …brought a boa constrictor to home economics? …glued the substitute teacher to a chair? …filled all of the violins with squirty cheese?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Games I’ll Miss When School’s Out Summer School BreakTo which I always answered as honestly as I could, “I’m sorry, but you’ve dialed the wrong number.”

And, who could forget that ‘ole favorite memory game Oh, Good, It’s Due Tomorrow? Be it with a diorama of Dora the Explorer, or a 10-page research paper about procrastination, my kids kept me entertained by never starting, much less telling me about, any project until the night before it was due.

If art supplies, poster board, or glue sticks were required, they wouldn’t mention a project until the last store within a hundred mile radius had closed for the night. They’re confident in my ability to play and win the expert level of this game.

I’m not sure how I’ll work on sharpening my dull seamstress skills now that I won’t be playing Project I Need It Today. Having to come up with the appropriate garb for school spirit days, with a maximum of 4 minutes notice, helped me hone my “Make it work!” skills.

“Reflective Day” and “Dress Like Your Favorite Farm Animal Day” were especially tough challenges. Apparently, they meant literally reflective and literally a barn animal. My lightening-speed production of a Socrates costume and an outfit to make them look like their hillbilly cousin Ned didn’t qualify. Who knew?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Games I’ll Miss When School’s Out Summer School BreakEven though my FitBit never counted it, I always assumed I got more than enough cardio in for the day while playing The Amazing Shoe Search. Before I had children, I assumed this kind of problem ended with pre-school. My 14 year old shot yet another hole through that theory just last week when he was about to get out of our van at school before he realized he didn’t have any shoes with him, much less on his feet.

And, just so you know, having to return home to get a pair of shoes does not an excused tardy make. Nor, a happy mom.

I counted on Truth Or Dare, with its soul-searching and philosophical debates, to keep my mind and principles clear. Every Friday, my 13 year old son would ask me to sign his reading log, which indicated he had read the assigned book about a girl growing up in medieval England for 30 minutes daily. He didn’t read the assigned book about a girl growing up in medieval England for 30 minutes daily. He scanned the chapter at best. I knew he was lying. He knew I knew he was lying.

So, why did I sign it? Because, it says at the top of the form that reading is the most important step in educating oneself, and I know he spent nearly 20 hours each week reading everything from Birds of North America to Sports Illustrated to The Lightening Thief. And, because I’ve read that book about the girl from Medieval England and it was lousy.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Games I’ll Miss When School’s Out Summer School Break

I supposed I’ll have to take up reading the dictionary daily now that I won’t be playing my daily game of Who Wants To Define “Ready For School”? At 7:30am, every morning, my pack was supposed to be ready for school. At 7:30am, every morning, the majority of my pack would tell me they were ready for school. At 7:30am, every morning not a single member of my pack was actually ready for school. Ever.

At 7:30am, every morning, I’d remind my pack what “Ready For School” meant. Naked isn’t “Ready For School”. Boxers-only isn’t “Ready For School”. Still in the shower isn’t “Ready For School”. Painting the dog’s toenails isn’t “Ready For School.” Wearing yesterday’s dirty clothes isn’t “Ready For School”. Screaming at the printer isn’t “Ready for School.” Looking for a pair of shoes to wear isn’t “Ready For School.”

Come to think of it, I don’t think I dropped a single kid off at school all year, who was actually “Ready For School.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Games I’ll Miss When School’s Out Summer School BreakBut, I think the game I’ll miss the most, which is, ironically, all about the “missing,” is Have You Seen My…?:  School Edition.  There are editions of this game for every occasion and activity, but the School Edition is the one I play most frequently. Have you seen my…math book, trumpet, field trip permission slip, class’ hamster I brought home for the weekend, lab report about rotten eggs, box of rotten eggs…?

Thankfully, my children, ever the thoughtful creatures that they are, have already started setting up games for me to keep busy playing all summer.

Why just this morning I received a notice from the school library informing me it’s time to play What Do You Mean You Never Checked Out That Book? and How Can They Charge Us $94 For A Paper Back Picture Book?

Let the games begin!

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What games will you miss when school breaks for summer? Do you have any summer games planned? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing what you think.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break …Gina’s Favorites

Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break …Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Laugh along with this timely Gina’s Favorites post.

Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break

In about a week, I’ll be under full time siege.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break ...Gina's FavoritesThat’s right.

My kids will be on summer break.

I love having them home. I love getting to hang out with them. I love not having to mess with homework.

But.

A few issues have come up in the past during the summer occupation, so I know I need to be proactive and take vital steps before my garrison of gigglers ends its daily constitution in the halls of education.

Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break

#10.  Round up a dairy cow – On a hot summer day 6 gallons of milk is easily inhaled by my kids. When their friends have joined our circus we need a keg of the white stuff daily. I figure having our own cow has got to be cheaper than buying jugs by the pallet full at Costco.

#9.  Get a HazMat suit – And, it needs to include asbestos gloves and a breathing apparatus. I don’t know how bathing suits and towels used in a chlorinated pool turn into alien life forms so quickly, but they do. It’s like my off spring drop their bathing suits and towels off into a pile, and the fabric springs into an instant mildewy mess.

#8.  Remove the doors from the refrigerator & freezer – They aren’t shut once the entire summer any way. At least this way there’ll be fewer heads and fingers slammed in them. It’s worth the perpetually melted ice cream if it saves me even one trip to the emergency room.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break ...Gina's Favorites#7.Hook the power car washer onto the hose to shower the kids – When it’s light until well past a decent bedtime, no one wants to come inside, much less do so to bathe. This way I can do a quick turbo wash as they run by in the midst of a game of tag. I might get the wax cylinder to, so they’ll be extra shiny and water repellant.

#6.  Stock up on swim goggles – I’ll start with about 50 pairs. That should almost last us through the first week. Where do all the goggles disappear to? If we ever move I think we’re going to find a hidden room full of swim goggles. And, how come my kids consider diving into mud puddles totally hygienic, but need protection from the clean, bacteria-free water in a pool?

#5.  Purchase 3 identical pairs of flip flops for each member of my pack – That way they should be able to come up with at least one pair of shoes when required to. It’s ok to wear flip flops to a cousin’s black tie wedding as long as they’re sparkly, right?

#4.  Hide the snow parkas – Why does someone always think it’d be cool to play Arctic Explorer in the mid-July heat? And, why do they think rolling around in a giant mud puddle in their dry clean only parkas simulates the arctic? I think the school district should be held responsible for that dry cleaning bill.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break ...Gina's Favorites#3.  Install revolving doors at all entrances – It’s our only hope for having even a semi good chance at a closed door. It’d be nice if we could at least keep the dumber mosquitos and June bugs out.

#2.  Procure a case of MRE’s – Or, maybe several cases. Those nasty nutrition packs from the military surplus store are “Meals Ready To Eat” (also known as “”Meals Refusing To Exit,” according to some of my favorite soldiers). Hopefully, they’ll be better than the nothing I’ve prepared on those many nights when I forget to make dinner because it’s light until nearly 9:30pm. Who thinks about dinner while it’s still light?

#1.  Buy snow boots for everyone – This is the only time of year stores in SoCal have them in stock. Gotta get ’em while it’s hot.

Now that I think about it, I should probably stop by Costco for a barrel of sunscreen, even though I know my kids will refuse to use it all summer.

I wonder if they make a sunscreen cartridge for the power car washer.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How do you prep for the summer? Did you miss school during the summer when you were a kid?  Shoot me a comment. You’re here anyway, and I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission.

Top 10 Signs Your Children Are On Summer Break

Top 10 Signs Your Children Are On Summer Break

by Gina Valley

Does every faucet in your home have remnants of a water balloon attached to it?

Has the noise level near you risen to unmeasurable decibels?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Signs Your Children Are On Summer BreakIs every towel you own covered in what you’re hoping is mud?

I think I know what you’re suffering from. And, I’m right there with you.

Maybe your kids are on Summer Break.

Top 10 Signs Your Children Are On Summer Break

#10.  You dog’s coat looks extra shiny because someone covered him with sunscreen.  Twice.

#9.  You’re wondering if Froot Loops count as vegetables.

#8.  The refrigerator door has been open for a week straight.

#7.  You have no idea what day of the week it is, and have only narrowed the month down to July or August.

#6.  You wonder if it’s time to call in the HazMat Team, because you’ve lost count of the number of days your child has wearing that swimsuit.

#5.  You think s’mores for dinner is a nice change from the popsicles your kids ate exclusively for the previous 2 days.

#4.  You spent $35 on lemonade making supplies, which your children made into a thick, yellow liquid, and sold to passersby for a total of $3.75, just so you wouldn’t have to answer the “Can we play games on your phone now?” question again for a few hours.

#3.  You’ve hollered “Go outside!” more than 17 times.  In one day.

#2.  You wonder if when your kids dumped bubbles into the pool while they were swimming counts as a bath, because you aren’t sure when the last time they took a real bath in a tub with soap and everything was.

#1.  Dinner time has moved increasingly later every night, to the point that it’s scheduled for breakfast time tomorrow.

And, your kids want Froot Loops.

Again.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What tell-tale sign always signals summer for you?  What do your children like to do on a summer day?  What do you like to do?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

111 FUN Things To Do THIS Summer

111 FUN Things To Do THIS Summer

by Gina Valley

Summer is always too short.

By the time I’ve got my summer bucket list written down, summer is over.

I always start with big plans. I want to organize. I want to create. I want to family-bond-it-up.  But, there’s never enough time.

My friend, Christi, ever since she was in junior high, makes it a point to get rid of one bad habit every summer. I don’t know how she does it. I’ve tried, and haven’t gotten rid of one yet.

Funny Humor Summer Fun http://ginavalley.com/   111 FUN Things To Do THIS Summer – Read & Laugh All About It!

First of all, it takes me half the summer to decide which of my multitude of bad habits to ditch. Then, it takes me a couple weeks of “just-one-last-time’s” before I truly take a stab at the bad habit. By the time I’m really ready to start stopping, summer’s nearly over. So, come fall, I still have the bad habit, and have added a side dish of guilt to it.

Nonetheless, the idea of focusing on one thing to accomplish during the summer seems like a good one to me.

So, this summer, I decided to pick one thing to do. Just one thing. Something I’ve always meant to do. As long as I get that done, I’ll count my summer a success.

I think I’m going to go with “learning to hula hoop,” but that’s not set in stone yet.

Since I’m asking my kids to each pick something for themselves to do, too, I decided I better come up with a couple of ideas to help get their wheels turning.

In my typical OCD form, I came up with more than a hundred.

Most are low or no cost.  All are fun!

How about you join us? Pick something from this list, or come up with your own. But, either way, let’s have some fun this summer!

111 FUN Things To Do THIS Summer

1.   Learn how to hula hoop

2.   Learn how to pogo stick

3.   Start a campfire without matches or a lighter.

4.   Bake cookie dough in a hot car

5.   Learn how to rollerblade backwards (or forwards, if you don’t know how)
6.   Learn how to do a flip on a trampoline

7.   Learn how to spin a basketball on one finger

8.   Make a Mento volcano

9.   Build a bat box (for the critters, not the ball smashers) (although that would be a cool project, too).

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley 111 FUN Things To Do THIS Summer

10.  Take a flying lesson

11.  Make homemade ice cream in Ziploc bags

12.  Teach your dog to shake hands or to bark on command.

13.  Teach your cat how to turn off a light switch or to use the toilet

14.  Learn how to do a cartwheel

15.  Learn Morse code

16.  Learn how to change the oil & oil filter in your car

17.  Learn how to French braid

18.  Learn how to  pick a lock

19.  Learn how to palm a quarter

20.  Memorize the location of every country on a map (and the capitals)

21.  Memorize the location and capitals of all the US states (or for every nation in Africa)

22.  Build a kite

23.  Learn how to play poker

24.  Learn how to write with your other hand

25.  Make cheese (on purpose)

26.  Learn how to crack a safe

27.  Learn how to shuffle cards like a pro

28.  Learn how to bake a souffle

29.  Learn how to  draw a map of the United States (or your country) from memory

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley 111 FUN Things To Do THIS Summer

30.  Learn to say the alphabet backwards, starting at any letter, very quickly (one of my friends can do this & it’s quite impressive!)

31.  Learn how to say “I only speak English” in 5 different languages

32.  Learn how to draw a horse

33.  Learn to play a drum kit

34.  Memorize all the lyrics to Born To Be Wild

35.  Learn to play a harmonica

36.  Learn how to bounce a soccer ball with your feet

37.  Learn how to bowl a strike

38.  Master free throws

39.  Figure out how to sign your name so it’s its own reflection

40.  Take a CPR course

41.  Learn to swim

42.  Learn how to chop veggies superfast like they do on The Food Network

43.  Learn how to detect a lie

44.  Learn how to ride a bike (or to pop a wheelie, if you already ride)

45.  Work up to doing 100 sit-ups in a minute

46.  Learn to play pool like a pro

47.  Learn 8 chords on a guitar

48.  Learn how to parallel park in tight spaces

49.  Take a lesson at a shooting range

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley 111 FUN Things To Do THIS Summer

50.  Take a self-defense class

51.  Learn how to pick out a good melon

52.  Learn how to balance a checkbook

53.  Learn how to jump start a car

54.  Learn to type correctly

55.  Learn how to do push-ups or pull-ups properly

56.  Pump out a summary of that novel you’ve been meaning to write.

57.  Learn to speed read

58.  Grow a pumpkin (plant around July 4th for October 31 use where I live)

59.  Learn how to drive a manual transmission vehicle

60.  Learn how to solve a Rubik’s cube

61.  Learn how to whistle with your fingers

62.  Learn how to make a perfect martini

63.  Learn how to change a tire

64.  Learn how to make a 3-D sidewalk chalk drawing

65.  Learn to read music

66.  Carve a watermelon into a clipper ship (or a bouquet of roses)

67.  Learn how to do a head stand

68.  Learn how to bake a perfect baguette

69.  Learn how to spiral a football

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley 111 FUN Things To Do THIS Summer

70.  Learn how to pitch a curve ball

71.  Learn how to make balloon animals

72.  Learn how to blow double bubbles with bubble gum

73.  Drive a race car

74.  Learn how to make an origami swan

75.  Plant peonies in your yard (my favorite!)

76.  Learn to tango

77.  Learn how to ice skate

78.  Learn how to fold an awesome paper airplane

79.  Fry an egg on a hot street

80.  Learn how to operate a sewing machine

81.  Learn how to juggle

82.  Learn how to ride a unicycle

83.  Learn how to knit

84.  Learn how to roast a turkey/chicken

85.  Learn some magic tricks

86.  Master the yoyo

87.  Learn how to moon walk

88.  Learn how to jump rope

89.  Learn how to increase your vertical leap

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley 111 FUN Things To Do THIS Summer

90.  Learn how to tie a tie

91.  Learn how to waltz

92.  Make a piñata

93.  Build a model plane or car or train

94.  Complete a big Lego set

95.  Plan an around the world trip (even if you’ll never go)

96.  Draw a cartoon strip

97.  Write on op/ed piece

98.  Learn how to do the splits

99.  Paint a room a wild color

100.  Learn to make the national dish of 3 countries you’ve always wanted to visit

101.  Learn to tap dance

102.  Memorize the first 50 digits of Pi

103.  Rearrange your furniture so it doesn’t point at the tv

104.  Take a fencing class

105.  Take a golf lesson

106.  Switch all your accessories & photos to different rooms

107. Learn how to use chopsticks

108. Learn tightrope walking

109.  Go bungee jumping

110.  Take trapeze lessons

111. Memorize Oh, The Places You’ll Go! by Dr. Seuss

Let me know what you decide & how it goes. Be sure to add your ideas for this list. Maybe we’ll have 200 for next summer.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

What do you want to do?  What’s some thing you’ve being meaning to master? Is there something you’ve always wondered how to do? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

If It’s Burnt, It’s Cajun…Gina’s Favorites

If It’s Burnt, It’s Cajun…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

I’m constantly dashing around my house, sniffing, and asking, “What was that crash? Do you smell smoke?”

Clearly, summer break from school is in full swing for my children.

So, I figured my If It’s Burnt, It’s Cajun post is perfect for Throwback Day this week. Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

If It’s Burnt, It’s Cajun

I received a letter from my kids’ school with a list of suggested activities to combat Summer Learning Loss.  Summer Learning Loss?  NOT a problem at my house.  Summer Mommy Mind Loss – huge problem.  That’s what I need to combat.  My kids, however, are learning plenty of things.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley If It’s Burnt, It’s Cajun...Gina's Favorites Summer Appliances Microwave OvenAs always my children have selected their own mode of learning.  This year it’s being facilitated by our microwave (As a former engineer I am bound by my lifetime membership in the siblinghood of geekiness to point out that it is not a microwave.  It is a microwave oven.  It uses invisible microwaves to cook.  My children hate when I point this out.  I hate when they leave their underwear in the kitchen. This makes us even. For today).

And, what have they learned thus far this summer through their semi-clandestine, non-approved course of study? Allow me to provide you with a list.  It’s not an exhaustive list, but having them do all this has been exhausting!

Just yesterday morning my children proved that microwaves have x-ray vision.  They can see right through the lid on the peanut butter jar to the tiny shard of aluminum foil stuck to the top of that jar.  And, they don’t like that shard.

Microwaves are strong.  They can produce enough heat inside the aforementioned plastic (thankfully) peanut better jar to make enough pressure to blow up the lid like a balloon in about 13 seconds.  According to an anonymous child source “it looks really cool.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley If It’s Burnt, It’s Cajun...Gina's Favorites Summer Appliances Microwave OvenMicrowaves are patriotic. They produce fireworks in the form of sparks shooting out from said peanut butter jar in 15 seconds.  A thick, black, kitchen filling, alarm-triggering cloud of toxic-smelling smoke is not far behind.

The peanut butter chronicles, actually an attempt by a child to make peanut sauce, took place yesterday.  But, they are far from the first lessons my off-spring have gleaned from their time with our microwave this summer.

Actually, this is our second microwave this summer.  We just bought it last week (I wonder if the peanut butter experiment was some sort of a “Welcome to Our Home” hazing for it or something, you know, to make the microwave feel welcome).  The first microwave was done in by a couple of earlier experiments that left it a bit dodgy, as it would start cooking at random and refuse to turn off until unplugged.

Daughter#1 deduced that Taco Bell burrito wrappers shoot out sparks after only a couple seconds and ignite the grease in the burrito shortly thereafter.  She’s also come to know that when there’s a fire in the kitchen it’s good manners, and good sense, to tell an adult what’s going on before running out into the street and screaming hysterically.

Son#1 has learned that when softening butter for cookies it is vital one does so for only 25 seconds, because when one accidentally does so for 255 seconds the butter dissolves, seeps into the workings of the microwave, and bursts into a butter-scented Molotov cocktail kind of thing.   And, as Son#1 pointed out as the primary lesson the experiment taught him, Mom doesn’t make cookies that night if you set the microwave on fire.

The “heat up the metal fork with the plate of food in the microwave” experiment is still unclaimed.  But, though anonymously done, it provided evidence that a metal fork in the microwave for a minute or so produces enough flames and heat to both cremate the food beyond recognition and to melt the plastic plate enough to allow it and the metal fork to become one entity.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley If It’s Burnt, It’s Cajun...Gina's Favorites Summer Appliances Microwave Oven

Another unclaimed experiment was the “Heat the Pop-tart in its Foil Pouch” inquiry.  Yes, it heats the Pop-tart. Flame will do that.  Yes, it also turns the interior of the microwave into charcoal.

We were taught by yet another unclaimed experiment (my children are such humble scientists!) that heated long enough, and by long enough I mean until someone smells smoke, even plain, dry toast will burst into flame.

Yesterday afternoon, Son#3, the peanut butter perpetrator of yesterday morning, asked if it would be ok if he heated a hot dog in the microwave.  I told him that would be fine, and reminded him to cover it so it didn’t splatter around. Wouldn’t want to get grease spots on the morning’s new flame trails in there!

A couple minutes later I heard the unmistakable pop of a hot dog bursting.

No, he did not cover it.  Yes, it exploded and sprayed the entire inside of the microwave with hot dog bits.  Grease was even running under the microwave door and dripping down the cabinets.

The Professor, always one to have perfect timing, walked into the kitchen to find the three of us standing there staring at the grease trails racing down the cabinet.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley If It’s Burnt, It’s Cajun...Gina's Favorites Summer Appliances Microwave Oven

“What on earth?!” he asked (You know, honestly, after all these years with all of our children and all of their disasters, I don’t know why he still asks.  After all, he doesn’t really want to know. I’m not even sure why he still risks coming into the kitchen).

Now I hate a mess.  And, the idea of having to clean the microwave for the second time in the same day was not the least bit appealing.  But, the exploding hot dog experiment was worth it,  just to see the look on The Professor’s face when Son#4 pointed to Son#3 and told his dad, ”His wiener sprayed all over it.”

The Professor looked at Son#4, who nodded.  He looked at Son#3, who nodded.  He looked again at the liquid trailing down the cabinets. Then, he made a beeline for the foyer, grabbed his hat & keys, and was out the door before we had recovered from laughing and could clarify that we were dealing with a former hot dog.

I hollered out the front door after The Professor, “Where are you going?”

He said, “To buy another bloody microwave!” and slammed his car door.

I didn’t stop him.  We’ll probably need it next week anyway.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are there sparks shooting around your kitchen? Any explosions at your home this summer?  Please, shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it!

PS

Now before anyone recommends we get one of those over-the-oven microwaves let me say that I am too short to reach those, and, even if I wasn’t I am not nearly coordinated enough to be lifting hot things over my or anyone else’s head.

Also, no, my young kids are not supposed to use the microwave unsupervised.

Yes, my teens are equally guilty for creating microwave pyrotechnics.

And, yes, we have several fire extinguishers AND a smoke alarm in the kitchen, and our homeowners’ insurance is paid up.

And, no, I won’t let my kids read this column because it’s not funny when you mess up with the microwave.  Except the hot dog thing.  That was pretty funny.

Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break

Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break

by Gina Valley

In a couple weeks, I’ll be under full time siege.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break School Vacation

That’s right.

My kids will be on summer break.

I love having them home. I love getting to hang out with them. I love not having to mess with homework.

But.

A few issues have come up in the past during the summer occupation, so I know I need to be proactive and take vital steps before my garrison of gigglers ends its daily constitution in the halls of education.

Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break

#10.  Round up a dairy cow – On a hot summer day 6 gallons of milk is easily inhaled by my kids. When their friends have joined our circus we need a keg of the white stuff daily. I figure having our own cow has got to be cheaper than buying jugs by the pallet full at Costco.

#9.  Get a HazMat suit – And, it needs to include asbestos gloves and a breathing apparatus. I don’t know how bathing suits and towels used in a chlorinated pool turn into alien life forms so quickly, but they do.  It’s like my off spring drop their bathing suits and towels off into a pile, and the fabric springs into an instant mildewy mess.

#8.  Remove the doors from the refrigerator & freezer – They aren’t shut once the entire summer any way. At least this way there’ll be fewer heads and fingers slammed in them. It’s worth the perpetually melted ice cream if it saves me even one trip to the emergency room.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break School Vacation

#7.Hook the power car washer onto the hose to shower the kids – When it’s light until well past a decent bedtime, no one wants to come inside, much less do so to bathe.   This way I can do a quick turbo wash as they run by in the midst of a game of tag. I might get the wax cylinder to, so they’ll be extra shiny and water repellant.

#6.  Stock up on swim goggles – I’ll start with about 50 pairs. That should almost last us through the first week. Where do all the goggles disappear to? If we ever move I think we’re going to find a hidden room full of swim goggles. And, how come my kids consider diving into mud puddles totally hygienic, but need protection from the clean, bacteria-free water in a pool?

#5.  Purchase 3 identical pairs of flip flops for each member of my pack – That way they should be able to come up with at least one pair of shoes when required to.  It’s ok to wear flip flops to a cousin’s black tie wedding as long as they’re sparkly, right?

#4.  Hide the snow parkas – Why does someone always think it’d be cool to play Arctic Explorer in the mid-July heat?  And, why do they think rolling around in a giant mud puddle in their dry clean only parkas simulates the arctic? I think the school district is should be held responsible for that dry cleaning bill.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Vital Preps Before My Kids Start Summer Break School Vacation#3.  Install revolving doors at all entrances – It’s our only hope for having even a semi good chance at a closed door. It’d be nice if we could at least keep the dumber mosquitos and June bugs out.

#2.  Procure a case of MRE’s – Or, maybe several cases. Those nasty nutrition packs from the military surplus store are “Meals Ready To Eat” (also known as “”Meals Refusing To Exit,” according to some of my favorite soldiers). Hopefully, they’ll be better than the nothing I’ve prepared on those many nights when I forget to make dinner because it’s light until nearly 9:30pm. Who thinks about dinner while it’s still light?

#1.  Buy snow boots for everyone – This is the only time of year stores in SoCal have them in stock. Gotta get ’em while it’s hot.

Now that I think about it, I should probably stop by Costco for a barrel of sunscreen, even though I know my kids will refuse to use it all summer.

I wonder if they make a sunscreen cartridge for the power car washer.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How do you prep for the summer? Did you miss school during the summer when you were a kid?  Shoot me a comment. You’re here anyway, and I’d love to hear what you have to say.