Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday
by Gina Valley
Super Bowl Sunday is all about fun, frolic, and food. It’s full of cheering and eating and drinking. And, some football.
The next day, on the other hand, is not.
Not-So-Super Monday is the ugly twin to Super Bowl Sunday. It’s filled with exhaustion, upset stomachs, and headaches. It’s not a super day.
The orthodox way to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday is to pull the covers back over your head and sleep all day in the dark, not an easy thing to do in your cubicle at work.
This year alone, it’s estimated that nearly 7 million people will stay home from work to celebrate Not-So-Super Monday.
Perhaps, you’d like to join them, but you’re way too tired from running back and forth to the kitchen for more cheese dip to come up with a great excuse to tell your boss.
No problem. I’ve got you covered.
Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Work On Not-So-Super Monday:
#10. Someone unplugged your crockpot, and you’re still waiting for the hot wings to finish cooking.
#9. You’re still trying to explain to your brother-in-law why XLIX means 49.
#8. You had nightmares about those sharks who sang and danced with Katy Perry during the halftime show, and you’re afraid to go outside.
#7. You’re rechecking your computations to be sure that the 50 million cases of beer supposedly consumed in the US on Super Bowl Sunday does in fact equal more than 5 bottles per adult, and wondering if you were supposed to have 10 since your neighbor didn’t have any.
#6. You have to take your granny to the chiropractor because she threw her back out when she was gawking at the “boys in them thar tight, stretchy pants!” Again.
#5. You tried a bottle of your uncle’s homemade ale, and you’re not yet prepared to be out of visual contact with the loo and its “Super Bowl.”
#4. The “Why is it called football when they don’t use their feet?” discussion with your know-it-all cousin from Caracas turned a bit physical after you screamed, “How’s this for using my foot?!?!” And, long story short, you agreed to drive your cousin’s pizza delivery route for him until he can comfortably sit down again.
#3. You’re still crying because of that Nationwide Insurance commercial where the little kid says, “…but, I couldn’t grow up, because I died from an accident.” What the heck, Nationwide?!?! What the heck?!?!
#2. All those flashing lights at halftime hypnotized you, and every time someone says “football” you cluck like a chicken, so you’re going to be in therapy all day.
#1. You pulled a hamstring diving for the last meatball, and you can’t get out of your recliner.
I’d be happy to write you a note.
Laugh Out Loud!
Did you watch the Patriots and the Seahawks battle it out? Did you have a favorite commercial? What was your favorite snack? Or, did you do something else you enjoyed this weekend? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission