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Is That A Cannon In Your Pocket?

Is That A Cannon In Your Pocket?

by Gina Valley

I’ve had a really lousy day.

Actually, it’s been nearly 2 days of lousy now, and tomorrow doesn’t hold much promise for improvement.

Funny Humor Love  Is That A Cannon In Your Pocket?  – Read & Laugh All About It!So, to be totally honest, last night I couldn’t bring myself to do the final read through and hit “publish” on the funny post I wrote for today.  Just couldn’t do it.  It’s hard to be funny, or to even read funny, when you’re sad.

Now, though, my OCD is going bananas, because I didn’t post anything today.

I’ve been torn all afternoon about which of my neurosis to give into. Nothing is ever simple.

I decided to go with a re-run today, one of my posts that always makes me smile.

I hope it brings you a smile, too.

My Bodyguard’s Assault Cannon Is Bigger Than Yours

This is Hunter.  He (well at least I think he’s a “he”) is from HALO and is my body guard this week. At 2 ½ inches tall, he’s the largest plastic body guard I’ve had.

A couple years ago on a Wednesday evening, Sons #3 & #4 came to understand that after they went to bed at night I would stay up to work.  I’m not sure they understood then, although I’m reasonably sure they do now, that I need peace and quiet to write.

Funny Humor Love  Is That A Cannon In Your Pocket?  – Read & Laugh All About It!

Certainly, it will be years, probably not until they are parents themselves, before they will understand that I’d rather give up my sleep for that peace and quiet than give up my time with my children.

But what I know they did understand that day was that their mommy was up alone in the sleepy, dark house in the middle of the night.

This was, and to some degree I suppose still is, a scary concept to them.  When they wake up in the middle of the night they find it a frightening thing. So, loving sons that they are, they wanted to protect their mommy from the dangers of the night.

They scampered up to their room, and much inaudible discussion ensued.  A few minutes later they returned with a Lego peg-legged pirate, complete with sword and pistol. He (I’m quite certain he was a “he”) looked quite rough and tough and burly, as one would expect a Lego pirate to be.

They handed me their little plastic treasure and explained to me that he was to sit on my laptop computer.  “He’s to keep you company, and to keep you safe,” Son #3 had explained.  “So you won’t be lonely…or scared,” Son #4 added.

I had my first body guard, Pegleg, with me for nearly two years.  He would occasionally be called into service during the day, but, miraculously, he was always in his place standing guard when I sat down to work each night.  If only they had kept such good track of their shoes, or their pet newts!

Funny Humor Love  Is That A Cannon In Your Pocket?  – Read & Laugh All About It!

But, one night when I sat down to work Pegleg was nowhere to be seen.  In his place stood a proud swordsman from an Arabia Lego set.  Although he didn’t have a pistol, he had a long sword and a swooshing cape.

Swooshing Cape kept me company, dutifully standing guard, for about an hour before curiosity forced me to my younger boys’ room.

Was Pegleg in the midst of a battle paused to continue the following morning? Was Pegleg the recipient of a career ending injury and forced to retire from his bodyguard duties? Had they simply lost Pegleg during the day’s events?

I had to know what had happened to Pegleg!

But, it was 2AM so I would have to figure it out on my own, tempting though it was to rouse one or the other of them from their sleep.

Turning on their bright lights would have woken them up, so that was NOT an option.  I was so thankful for the dimmer switch in their room as I picked my way across the cluttered floor.  I could never have made it in the dark.  Who needs weapons of mass destruction when you have Legos and Hot Wheels on duty?!?!

Their Lego table was covered with structures and figures, but all seemed to be from their modern city building sets.  Their significant pirate population was all on the shelves where they belong, apparently having been quite inactive that day.

I found Pegleg, looking none the worse for wear, sitting on the poop deck of their largest ship.  He was not broken nor missing nor otherwise engaged, yet for some reason Swooshing Cape had taken his place.

Funny Humor Love  Is That A Cannon In Your Pocket?  – Read & Laugh All About It!

I started back to my office, fighting the urge to wake them up to ask what the deal was (Would that really have been so terrible? At least it would have given them more to talk about during therapy as adults!).

I was nearly safely out of their room when I realized this was going to bug me all night.  So, to put my mind at ease, I went back to their shelves and grabbed Pegleg.  Ok, I get a teensy bit set in my OCD ways. So, sue me.

I put Pegleg on my laptop right next to Swooshing Cape.  Both silently watched over me while I worked.  I think I heard them whisper a couple times, but I wasn’t really sure.

True to my OCD nature, I rose a bit early the next morning so I could return Pegleg to the poop deck from whence he came before Sons #3 & #4 woke up.  I didn’t want my boys to know I’d messed with their body guard arrangements for me.  And, I really didn’t want anyone to know that I couldn’t focus on my work without the aid of a teensy plastic pirate.

During breakfast, I casually asked about the appearance of Swooshing Cape.  Son#4 answered, without skipping a beat, or swallowing his waffle for that matter, that “Other guys want a turn.”  Well, that made sense.

Funny Humor Love  Is That A Cannon In Your Pocket?  – Read & Laugh All About It!

It was rather unfair for Pegleg to get all of the fun.  Son#3 added, “We thought you’d like to meet some new guys, too.” How many times had I reminded my kids that meeting new people is fun?  Good grief!  They’d been listening!

So, Swooshing Cape stayed with me for about ten days.  He was replaced on a Sunday afternoon by a tiny brontosaurus, who, I was told, “is not a Lego, but still a cool guy.”

Ever since then, each Sunday afternoon my two youngest boys have provided me with a new body guard.  I’ve never had to ask.  I’ve never reminded them.  Sometimes they introduce us.  Sometimes the new “guy” just mysteriously appears at his post. But my body guard is always there.

And, every time I look at my tiny guardian for the week my heart squishes a little, because alongside that tiny toy is a giant reminder of how much my little boys love me.

How do your kids take care of you?  I look forward to hearing all about it, so please drop me a comment.

Laugh AND LOVE Out Loud!


Isn’t it amazing the ways children find to show love?  So innocent and clear!    What is something special someone has done for you to show they care about you? What have you done for someone else?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

4 Responses
  • Ariel
    July 10, 2014

    This post made me smile :). You have some awesome, caring sons! My son has given me kisses for ‘boo boo’s’ before which is always very sweet and my daughter once drew me a bunch of pictures when I was feeling sick. It’s pretty special to have moments where your kids try to take care of you 🙂

    • gina valley
      July 10, 2014

      I’m so glad to get to share smiles with you, Ariel!
      I do have wonderful kids. They certainly have their less than wonderful moments, but than so do I. This kind of memory, and those like your children kissing you and drawing pictures for you, are what keep us strong during the less charming moments of motherhood. Tangible tastes of their intangible affection for us!

  • steve shapiro
    July 12, 2014

    Ever take time to actually read what won the Nobe Prize? The one for economics was won by our Federal Reserve Chairperson’s husband. And, she contributed , but didn’t win anything.

    It was about making lemonade out of lemons. It was about the economics of doing something for someone else. It was acutally about the economics to “Pay it forward.”

    There’s a married woman with a canon in her pocket!