The great debates of our time are many: Paper versus plastic. Red versus blue. Sheldon versus Leonard.
But, we’ve got plenty of No-Need-To-Debate’s, too. Here are the Top 10 Things We Can All Agree On.
#10. Deodorant – Wear it. Every day. All the time. People who choose to be anti-deodorant-ites should be required to maintain a minimum distance of 30 feet between themselves and any pro-deodorant-ites. If you chose to use a natural deodorant, that minimum distance must be increased to 60 feet because those don’t work and they smell terrible.
#9. Bras – If you are over 25 years old or 125 pounds wear one, ladies. I don’t have exact guidelines for a man-ssiere, gentlemen, but you know if you need one. Everyone with eyes thanks you.
#8. Bad park-ers should have no rights. If someone parks so close to your car that you can’t open your door enough to get in, you should have free reign to enter their car through any means necessary, slip it into neutral, and to re-park it anywhere, including, but not limited to, in the nearest swampy ditch or the middle of a biker bar.
#7. Restaurants with dirty bathrooms should be burnt down. On the spot. They should be required to hand patrons the needed supplies, just like they give kids those extra waxy crayons.
#6. Lacrosse makes no sense. Is it like soccer or football or hockey? My kid played three seasons, and I still don’t get it. Why are their sticks different sizes? Where is that guy running off to? My gosh, it’s anarchy out there!
#5. Teachers who teach beginning band should be paid as much as CEOs. I don’t know how they face that noise day after day after day without completely losing their minds. They must be a little crazy to begin with, but either way, they deserve combat pay.
#4. The TSA should be scanning for halitosis. Most of us have suffered on planes a lot more from a fellow passenger with a green cloud erupting from his mouth than one with C-4 in his shoes.
#3. Soldiers should be paid more. Congress should be paid less. The Kardashians should be paying us to put up with them.
#2. The English muffin people need a knife. Let’s face it, this “fork splitting” thing really isn’t working out.
#1. Daylight Savings Time is the devil. I asked my phone what time it was while I was traveling last week and it answered, “I have no flippin’ idea.” Let’s pick a time and stick with it. I just want to know what time it is. Is that so much to ask?
Laugh Out Loud!
What should I add to the list? Does anyone ever really know what time it is? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.
Photo courtesy of Freeimages.com – Used with permission.