You know how some days you wake well rested, your hair goes just right, and you have several clean outfits at the ready? Yeah, me neither.
Usually, I wake in a panic and spend the day in survival mode, hoping I don’t have car trouble on my way home from my kids school, so I don’t end up standing on the side of the road in my pajamas.
But, sometimes, I just know I’m going to bump into someone. I get a feeling, a sense really, that I’m going to encounter somebody. Not just anyone, mind you. But, everyone. Or, at least everyone I haven’t seen in a while.
The bigger mess I am, the stronger the feeling is. It never fails, but I still try to beat the odds when I just need to run a quick errand.
That feeling usually washes over me as I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the window of the post office as I dash in to drop a letter in the slot or in the grocery store window as I do a speed return to the Red Box.
In that moment, as I gaze with ever increasing panic at myself, I realize I’m definitely about to bump into someone, and probably about to bump into everyone. And, that it’s too late to do anything about it.
Top 10 Ways I Know I’ll Bump Into Everyone Today:
#10. I woke up with a pimple so large my youngest child asked if I’m becoming a unicorn.
#9. I realized I forgot to brush my teeth when I got up because my breath is burning my own eyes.
#8. I took time to completely do my make up yesterday morning, but I forgot to take time to scrub it off before bed last night. Now, it’s gathered into deep, dark, semi-permanent pools under my eyes, and I’n not exactly rockin’ the rabid-raccoon look.
#7. I had to choose between the only two clean pairs of pants in my closet, the fuzzy Minions pajama bottoms or the 7 year old yoga pants with the hole in the seat and the worn out elastic, and I went with the hole-y, droopy yoga pants. Who knew yoga pants could droop? I just hope it’s the yoga pants that are drooping.
#6. I tried to hide my holey-seated, droopy yoga pants by wearing what I hoped is a clean-smelling tunic.
#5. The fingernail on the middle finger of my right hand is coming off, so I wrapped it with bandages to keep it from getting hooked on things. Now it looks like I am flipping someone off all the time.
#4. My socks might be clean, but they definitely don’t match. My shoes almost match. Sort of.
#3. When I opened the door of our car to get out, a silver Diet Pepsi can, two half-full water bottles, and a flock of used tissues blew out.
#2. My hair is so frizzed out I wonder how I got into, much less out of, the car.
#1. I forgot my wallet, so I’m paying for a gallon of milk with sticky, fuzzy coins I found down the seat of the car.
Yeah. Definitely going to bump into everyone today.
Laugh Out Loud!
How can you tell you are about to run into someone you haven’t seen for a while? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.
Photo courtesy of Freeimages.com – Used with permission.