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All Posts By gina valley

Stupid Driver – You’re Out!!!

Here’s the thing, driver of the shiny, new, silver Range Rover. I’m a patient person.  Well, actually I’m not a patient person, but even if I was it wouldn’t have helped you today. Because, the thing is, people have limits. Humor Funny Parenting Bad Driver Strike Out Stupid Driver Moms Dads Kids Family Life love

Getting cut off and nearly plowed over by you in the junior high school parking lot would have used up all of my patience, had I packed any today.

Fridge Ed

Fridge Ed
by Gina Valley

Dear Family,

I hate to heap more burden into your clearly, overloaded lives, but is there a chance that you all could attend the “How to Tell If the Refrigerator Door is Open” seminar I will be leading in the kitchen this evening?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Refrigerator Door Fridge Ed Toilet flushing

I will cover exciting topics such as:

*Open Is Not The Same As Closed

*The Refrigerator –

Fleas of 1000 Camels

Fleas of 1000 Camels

I would like to take this opportunity to apologizeHumor Funny Parenting Bad Driver  Stupid Driver camel fleas Moms Dads Kids Family Life love to the driver in the lane next to me as we exited the middle school parking lot this morning.

You were likely unaware of the curses and plagues I was internally wishing upon you and your descendants to the fifth generation after you chose to swerve suddenly into the lane I was currently using.

Flying Toothpaste

Flying Toothpaste

Did you know that if you’re squeezing the toothpaste tube and there is, unbeknownst to you, an air bubble in the toothpaste tube that the air bubble will exit in a most violent fashion, rudely shoving the toothpaste in front of it out of the 

Humor Funny Parenting toothpaste cleaning products mess ceiling observant child Moms Dads Kids children Family Life loveway in an explosive nature, causing the toothpaste to immediately take flight, and to continue in flight until such time as the toothpaste is confronted with an immovable object,

Yes, He Was A Great Guy, But Why Am I Being Punished?

I guess if I was a better mom I would have known my kids had Monday off before Sunday afternoon.  And, I suppose on some level I did know. Unfortunately, it wasn’t on the “put it on the calendar and plan for it” kind of level.  Nor, was it on the “reschedule meetings and finish columns ahead of time” level.Humor Funny Parenting school holidays memory MLK Martin Luther King teacher prep day  day-off child Moms Dads Kids children Family Life love

Thinking back on the blur that was this past week,

War of the Worlds

Two diametrically opposed near-cataclysmic universal forces have collided in my family room.  They are locked in a heated battle for control.  As I hold the assembled Halo Mega Block Humor Funny Parenting Lego building set Mega Blocks perfectionism OCD pride child Moms Dads Kids children Family Life love(think Lego type building sets) UNSC Rocket-hog in one hand and the Anti-Aircraft Gun in my other, I can’t help but notice the unapplied decals and several handfuls of unused bricks still in the box.

The nurturing mother in me,

Resolutions for the Rest of the Pack

Happy New Year to my friends, family, and especially my pack,

In keeping with my reputation for knowing what’s best for everyone, I have come up with resolutions for my pack.  After all, if they remain true to form, they will wait until the last minute to think of their resolutions, freeze in panic, and ask me to write them for them anyway.  I’ve Humor Funny Parenting New Years’ Resolutions child Moms Dads Kids children Family Life lovedecided to share them with you all,

Struck By The Soccer Fairy…Again

Struck By The Soccer Fairy …Again
by Gina Valley

This morning was soccer try-outs.  As always the Soccer Fairy paid us her (ok, could be a “him” – not sure, never seen the accursed Soccer Fairy) traditional “Night Before Soccer Try-Outs” visit.  She (or he) hid half of the kids’ shin guards and a couple of cleats. 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Gina Valley Soccer FairySomehow try-outs and the accompanying need for gear take my family by surprise every time,